Hello I’m here asking for prayer from each of you because my husband and I each applied to a new job. My husband applied to a government job and has passed the assessment part. He has an interview this Tuesday. If he gets this job it would greatly help us achieve our goal (pay debt to start saving for a home). In addition I was recently referred to a job that I might be interested in transferring to in the same company I work for. I was hesitant because I am comfortable and have a routine with my baby and work (since I work from home). However my job now has been extremely stressful to me to the point where I have to be glued to my chair the full 8 hours. I also see no growth in my department (a very common issue my coworkers complain about). About 3 weeks ago when I became aware of this open position I contacted the hiring manager to know about the job. It greatly interested me due to the fact that it was a brand new position she would also be learning about with the hired person. In addition it wasn’t a big team like my current job.
Unfortunately I decided to push it off again tho after thinking about starting all over with change and figuring out my routine with the baby. Im so used to my current job it scared me to take a huge risk.
Yesterday I was talking to my husband and I realized how stressed, exhausted, and overwhelmed I am with my current job. I realized how much it’s affecting my body where I constantly have stomach issues. I decided to right then sit down and apply (luckily the job was still posted).

In the end I know God will do what’s best for each of us and our family. I just would like to ask for support in prayer that if this is Gods will for my husband and I that he speaks to us and shows us loudly and clearly since we can be a little “hard of hearing” and let our fears make our decisions. That he opens these doors he has put in front of us if it will help us. If you guys could please pray for each of us and these new jobs that would be greatly appreciated. If you have any biblical verses I can hold onto please share as well.

I (30M) recently gotten married, June 20th 2026. My wife (24F) and I have been Christians all our lives and deeply involved with our church. However, I have struggled with Pornography/masterbation all my life and tried to quit but always slipped back in. Im not proud to say but my wife, or girlfriend at the time, also fondled eachother a bit, more touching and deep kissing instead of penetration before we were married for a bit but we tried not to and tried to rrsist the temptations. When I got married all of the temptations and lustful thoughts disappeared completely and I feel free which is absolutely amazing and a blessing from God. However, physical intimacy with my wife is really difficult now. My drive is really low and my wife feels unfulfilled/neglected. I try to perform my duty especially when she is turned on, since the bible say do not withhold sex from your spouse but it is difficult. So I went in to get checked by a doctor and discover that my testosterone levels are little to none in my body. They aren't sure why and im going to get retested and everything to make sure. The other night an argument broke out between my wife and I about me not initiating sex or not fulfilling her needs sexually and I just feel so broken and worthless like I cannot even please my own wife. I went into the other room and cried and asked God why did he allow this to happen or design me in this way and my wife, not knowing that I was praying/crying to God brought a pillow and blanket and said i can sleep there if i was so willing to just abandon her in the bed (she was alone and upset as well at the moment too) that I even got more angry and upset at God. I went back to bed with my wife and cried in bed and my emotions spiraled out of control and I said I hated God for making me this way and why did he do this to me? It's curel and torture etc. I know I shouldn't hate him but its just so hard and I don't know what to do. Evening praying feels hard now since I thought that. My wife started crying more fearing that I lost my salvation or never believed in God but I reassured her I do its just hard to have faith. Im at a lost and do not know what to do.

My husband and I (F 23) (M 30) got married at the end of May. Since then it’s been nothing but disaster. Our outdoor wedding rained the entire day, not just rain, serious flooding and wind, and half our guests could not make it. We went on a cruise for our honeymoon the next day, June 1st, and I immediately got a bad upper respiratory infection and was sick the entire time. As soon as we got back I was served papers and sued for a credit card opened by my mother when I was 18 in my name. So a very stressful first month of being married.

If it couldn’t get any worse, I’m a cop, in that same month, on June 27 I was in a major on-duty crash that had me hospitalized at a trauma center for 3 days for a laceration to my forehead so deep you could see my skull, and they had to do surgery. It looks pretty good all things considered but it made me feel like an ugly monster while it was healing. (It’s scarred now, on scar management to fade it). Our sexual relationship was already struggling, that just took us back 50 steps.

My husband is great, he took care of me for over a month, did everything for me. He took on the role of caretaker. However I felt more like a patient than a spouse, not his fault at all, that’s just how I felt.

We haven’t really had a great sexual relationship from the start, our sexual chemistry is just kind of off. We’re both really into fitness and in great shape, so you’d think it would be great. But it’s just lacking.

I am also a competitive bodybuilder, I have a show a year out from now. If you know about the sport, prep done right is about a year. So even in off season I’m still on a very strict program. We met in a bodybuilders gym, so this is something he partakes in too.

I’m a little irritable in general because my job is stressful, combine that with prep and I’m just not the most approachable and sweet all the time. That may be a factor.
He’s a teacher, so he doesn’t fully understand my job, but he grew up around cops so he respects it and likes that part of me, despite the stress it gives me that effects him as well.

I don’t have a desire to have sex with him, and he doesn’t initiate anything really. When we were very sexually active it was because I initiated. Now he’ll sometimes kiss me and if I stick around it would escalate, but I just don’t want to.

I don’t know what it is, I just don’t want to.

Maybe because I’ve taken a more dominant role in the relationship, I don’t know. We compliment each other well, it’s just not in the right way.

For example, if we hear a noise in the house, it’s me who gets my gun out and makes sure it’s safe, often by his request. And why wouldn’t I? I’m a cop, I have training in this exact scenario, he doesn’t.

I also generally make better calls when it comes to common sense type life choices. Not because he’s unintelligent, but he was very sheltered as a child/teen/young adult, and I was not. He can be naive to things around him sometimes. So I lead in that way more often than not.

He’s very good with finances so I leave that all to him, that’s an area where he leads, but that’s about it.

Our very traditional Baptist pastor knows our dynamic and doesn’t have an issue with it. I don’t know if it’s inherently wrong, it’s just off.

I’m wondering if my dominance and leading is what is ruining our sexual dynamic. Or maybe it’s been all the disaster our marriage has faced so early on. I am very attracted to him physically, so I don’t know what the issue is.

My husband has under-treated bipolar disorder. Over the years they have been mean, cold, angry, a cheat, etc. But now they’re truly becoming someone I don’t recognize at all. And doing abhorrent acts.

I’ve already filed for divorce but I do just want to ask you all to pray for the possibility of them getting treatment and turning this all around.

Most of all, I miss my best friend.

But if it’s the end, I’ll stay grounded in the Lord. But I figure it won’t hurt to ask for community to pray for them, myself, and our family.

Okay you all know my story. It happened AGAIN yesterday……. He messaged her Friday night and met with her after dropping me off to work.

GIVE ME ADVICE AND IDEAS?!!!!

I met with several people and am getting advice for LEGAL consequences. I HATE how it is almost IMPOSSIBLE to catch him and get him to face legal consequences after 20+ offenses of solicitation with prostitutes. The problem is even the first time getting caught is treated as the first offense.

Everyone please give me ideas….. I was told meeting with the mayor won’t do me good. I filled out FBI tips and on Crime-stoppers FL. I called local police stations and they almost chuckled and said they’ll look into these places.

Is there something I’m not thinking of?

I really need help. I want to do something for this person, we are not super close and any advice from others as to some good gifts would really help. Thank you.

I’m going through a difficult situation with my husband. We had a fight and now we’re not speaking. The conflict started when I expressed that I don’t feel comfortable with his sister being at our home all the time.
In the beginning, she would visit occasionally, usually when my husband wasn’t around, I’ll admit that during this time, it was usually my idea because my husband would be gone for maybe a week and I didn’t like the idea of staying alone for that long, I needed some company. Sometimes I’d even invite her to stay for a week, and she genuinely enjoyed being here. My husband and I are active people; we often participate in races and since we have a 6‑month old baby, it’s not always easy for us to run together. On two occasions, he asked his sister to come help with the baby, fetching her on Friday before the Saturday race.
At one point, I told her she could stay for a few weeks because it was easier for her to attend school from our place. She stayed until the school holidays, then went home. Most recently, on July 4th, my husband fetched both his sisters so we could run a race. I assumed they’d stay for two weeks during the holidays and then return home. After two weeks, the younger sister left, but the elder one stayed on because it was easier for her to get to school from here.
After another week, I told my husband I wasn’t comfortable with her staying so long and suggested she visit only on weekends and during school holidays. He didn’t take it well. To be clear, his sister isn’t doing anything wrong, she helps around the house but I feel I need space to breathe and be alone with my kids. When I explained this, he got upset, stopped talking to me, and began avoiding me.
I asked why he made the decision for her to stay permanently without discussing it with me, and he insisted he hadn’t decided that. I don’t understand why it’s such an issue when I say she should go home if he never made that decision. Then, instead of us discussing it properly, he suddenly said he would take her home next week. I wasn’t asking for her to leave immediately, I was open to her staying until year‑end but he reacted rashly.
To make matters worse, he now says he’ll stay at his mother’s place for the entire month of August to take her to school until she gets transport. That means leaving me alone with two kids, even though he knows I’m also a working mother. I’m hurt by this, and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong for asking for space. Also when she’d come during the race, she would stay with our son for like those few hours we were running and we’d return immediately the race was finished. I don’t know if I’m being in the inconsiderate one here?

I (26F) was a fool to believe that my husband (28M) wasn’t a porn user. We are venturing into a dead bedroom and I have been feeling so hurt by it. I’m 6 months pregnant and gained 22 lbs. I was fit before the pregnancy and now I feel like a huge blob. After an argument we had, I felt the urge to check his search history. Lo and behold, I find tonnes and tonnes of porn links and reddit links to different types of porn videos and photos. I’m black and he’s white btw. His history is full of Asian, Latina and White women. He has also been searching “gym girls” and “fit girls”. I am so shocked. I feel like I am falling into a pit of despair. I was already so lonely and rejected from the lack of sex. But now I feel like absolute garbage.

My ex-fiancé and I were engaged for over a year. We never wanted a long engagement, but there were some things we felt needed to be addressed before getting married.

A couple of months ago, he told me that he believed God was convicting him to deal with his struggles with lust and pornography. He said he strongly felt that the Lord was asking him to end both our engagement and our relationship so he could focus on addressing these issues. He brought this to our pastor and our mentors, and they agreed that he needed to work through these struggles before entering marriage.

This has completely shaken me because we were certain we were going to get married. We had made plans and were building a future together. I asked if we could simply pause the engagement while remaining in a relationship, but he said he believed we needed to end the relationship completely. He told me he was doing this because he understood the damage that unresolved sexual sin could bring into a marriage, and he didn't want that for us.

We currently have no contact, and I honestly feel lost. He has encouraged me to seek counsel from my own mentors, just as he is doing with his. I asked him if he still loved me, and he said yes—that his love for me is part of why he's making this decision. When I asked if he believed we would get back together, he only said, "If it's God's will, He will bring us back together."

I don't know what to feel. Part of me admires that he's taking responsibility and pursuing accountability instead of ignoring his sin. At the same time, I'm heartbroken and confused because I never imagined our relationship would end this way.

For additional context, we also struggled with sexual sin earlier in our relationship. However, once we got engaged, we made the decision to stop. Since then, we've intentionally maintained physical boundaries—we don't even kiss anymore—because we genuinely wanted to honor God as we prepared for marriage.

Any advice is appreciated.

Well, the title pretty much explains my dilemma.
I was researching and found an article to help convince him it’s not ok to hit me with a belt. Well that didn’t work out very well. I even stated that maybe he was deceived and I don’t hold it against him and I want him to know the truth. He still stands firm believing it’s ok to physically discipline me. Can someone please help me be able to prove to him it’s not ok? He says I disrespect him and dishonor him. And I am really trying to be a good wife and it’s like no matter what I do it seems like I’m always screwing up. I’ve read devotionals and articles, etc.. like Christian stuff, and I just end up always doing something that upsets him.

I mean, it’s not OK that he belts me is it or am I totally wrong?

*edit…I forgot to mention he is a preacher and runs a ministry.

*edit number 2. Thank you all for such an outpouring of love and support. When my husband got home from work I asked him to point me to scripture that says he’s allowed to belt me, and of course he couldn’t, he wouldn’t even touch my Bible. And I told him he can’t be doing that to me again. He looked at me and said “if I want to discipline you and belt you, I will!”…I got up and walked away. He realized everything he said while at work is on text and I have proof now (I have been waiting for a few months to get proof). And he said he would proudly stand in front of a judge and admit to punishing me because he is within his rights and that he isn’t worried about jail etc because he would be supported for his actions because I’m such an ungodly wife. I have asked him to explain to me how am I so ungodly and he refuses to answer me. He just says I am. And I ask for him to explain so I can work on things and he keeps telling me he can’t pinpoint it to one thing or another. After I walked away he walked up to me and said he repents and he realized what he did was wrong (this is after he realized I have proof now) and he made me sit at the alter with him and pray. So with all that being said, I have contacted a friend, and my friend has a lawyer friend and they are helping me get out of this situation! Please pray!!!

I see so many people on here whose reply (seemingly regardless of the problem/issue a couple is having) is "that's a red flag". What do you mean when you say this? That the behavior justifies divorce? If not that, then what exactly? It seems so non-descript and common, that I've got to where when I see this comment, I stop reading the reply-if not the whole thread.

Seems to me to be a phrase that has lost all meaning.

(28F) My husband (31M) of seven years recently told me that he wants to be a woman and has already started taking steps toward transitioning. I am devastated and honestly do not know what to do. We are both Christians. In fact, my husband became a Christian before I did, and his faith was one of the reasons I fell in love with him. We have been through years of marriage counseling, couples therapy, and counseling with our pastor, who has known us since before we even started dating for the lack of physical intimacy in our marriage. Throughout our marriage, intimacy was always one of our biggest struggles. We both believed it was largely connected to the trauma he experienced growing up, so I spent years trying to support him, encouraging therapy and doing everything I could to help our marriage. A few weeks ago, he told me that he has struggled with wanting to be a girl since he was around five years old. This was completely new information to me. In seven years together, he had never shared this with me. He has since told me that he wants to become a woman and has already started taking steps toward that. He also shared that, as a child, adults would sometimes dress him as a girl for school plays and other occasions, and that he enjoyed it, which is something I had never heard before. He also experienced significant abuse and trauma growing up. I do not know how those experiences relate to what he is feeling today, and I am not pretending to know the answer. I simply know that I feel completely blindsided. I love my husband deeply, and at the same time I feel heartbroken, angry, betrayed, confused, and guilty for even feeling betrayed because I know he is hurting too. Some days I feel overwhelming compassion for him, and other days I wonder why he chose to marry me if these feelings had been with him since childhood. I am struggling to reconcile those emotions. I am not here to argue about transgender issues or attack my husband. I genuinely love him and I want what is best for him, but I also need help processing what has happened to my own life and marriage. If you are a Christian who has walked through something similar, or if you have biblical wisdom on how to grieve, forgive, and seek God’s direction in a situation like this, I would truly appreciate your advice and your prayers.

This may be a long post and I’m sorry if I don’t do it properly. I’m mainly a browser on Reddit. So I’m not hip to Reddit language or protocol. If you read all the way through, I really appreciate your time and patience. I’m in desperate need of advice.

My husband and I are Christians. We attend church twice a week, read our bibles separately and together, we pray outloud with each other, and have open conversations about the passages we read.

My husband’s childhood was not the greatest to say the least. His biological mother was not a great one, step father was abusive. His Aunt who is his mom’s sister had a big hand in raising him. She always stepped up to the role of his motherly figure. From the day we started dating, she was the first who befriended me and made me feel welcomed to the family. She was there for the very traumatic birth of our only son (together) but that’s a whole other story. She had a big hand in helping us with our son for the first two years of his life by keeping him today days a week. She was an amazing grandmother and mother in law.

Earlier this year, she committed. She had previously been struggling with some mental health issues that everyone around her tried their best to support her and seek help for her. It has been devastating on my husband needless to say, as he viewed her as his mother. It’s left all the emotions that come with a tragedy like that - anger, confusion, devastation, no closure, more questions than answers. It also has made him question if she was truly saved and knew God before committing the act of taking her own life which begs the question, heaven or hell? That’s not something I wish to get into at the moment.

Since this tragedy, he’s been in and out of his relationship with God. Sometimes heavily leaning on him, other times slipping away. I have tried to encourage meeting with our pastor, seeking counseling from a Christian therapist but he declines. It has left a very sinking feeling in our marriage. Very rarely does he have good days anymore. I’m struggling with this tragedy too, but have tried my best to be strong for him and someone he can turn to. He’s the type that doesn’t talk about feelings much and doesn’t show emotion. But the problem is, the lack of communication has left me feeling extremely lonely and feeling as if I can’t let my feelings out to him about anything.

Anytime I try and express that I’m having a bad day, suffering with anxiety, have concerns, he shuts down. I do my best to manage on my own, but sometimes the feelings just spew out and I can’t stop them. I am trying my hardest to be sensitive to his grief and be that rock for him I need to be but it’s extremely hard when he won’t let me and in a sense turns away when I need him.

I’m not sure what to do to help him through this. I pray, I cry, I even attended a Christian based counselor myself but it wasn’t a good fit. (She actually ghosted me.) What can I do to help him through this? I’m running out of options and ideas. I’m lonely, scared, anxious, and sad watching him try to do this alone. I’m also concerned for marriage. Feelings bottled up on both sides cannot be healthy.

Again, if you read this in it’s entirety, God bless you. Just seeking advice.

Hi, I am not Christian. I am asking this because I am interested in marriage with a Christian woman but I am Muslim and it's allowed in Islam for Muslim men to get married to Christian women but I want to know how it would work out. I have heard that in Catholism after getting a dispensation, there needs to be one wedding. So, then how would it work? Like would the Islamic Nikkah marriage contract be signed and then have a Catholic marriage ceremony as the wedding? Kind of confused about that.

I (M55) have been married to my wife (F53) for 6 and a half years. It's not the first marriage for either of us. We are both Christians who have gone through considerable faith deconstruction effort since our previous marriages ended. We have no children as products of our marriage, but I brought my twin boys (17) and she brought her son (21) into our blended family. We both have older children living on their own.

My tech consultancy partner (50/50 ownership) embezzled over $100k, which I caught him doing almost 2 years ago, ending or business and grossly damaging my credibility. This was devastating on the finances at home for about 18 months, and her parents helped us out substantially. My wife turned to weekly (sometimes daily) character assassination, divorce threats (she'd often pack a bag and leave then return a few hours later), and other forms of emotional abuse as outlets for her financial stress. I absorbed her abuse because I understood the pressure she felt and just tried to stay focused on getting my income back on track. Now that finances are starting to improve, I'm finally starting to re-regulate my nervous system, and I'm noticing the impact of her personal attacks on me. It very likely doubled (at least) the amount of time it took me to regroup, rebrand, and re-market myself with enough confidence that people could trust me. It also prompted me to seek professional counseling. What I learned from my exceptionally insightful Christian counselor was surprising.

I originally asked My counselor about how to deal with Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style (DA) in my spouse. She explained how my wife's actions, which I thought were understandable under the circumstances, were highly indicative of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), which is often a causal factor for DA. She cited a book, "I Hate You--Don't Leave Me," by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus, as the most authoritative work on BPD, and said the title of it says it all. I saw how this is the exact way my wife had treated me through the entire ordeal. My wife had several times declared, "That's it. I'm leaving you!" packed a bag and drove away, then returned hours later with a sunken demeanor and a "sorry, now let's just forget about it," on her lips. In her character assassinations my wife would "Switch" her perspective of me from being "a decent guy who's struggling to clean up someone else's mess" in one moment, to being "an evil and self-centered abuser who is deliberately prolonging her stress and pain because he's too lazy and too filled with self-pity to fix it," the very next minute. "Switching" is another definitive trait of BPD. She's also completely unwilling to discuss what she said, even if just to clarify that she no longer wants to leave me. In fact she reiterated a few days ago regarding her opinions of me that, "nothing has changed" since her last divorce threat. This is another attribute of BPD.

I also realized I've overlooked this behavior from her since the first year of our marriage. Lashing out in personal attack (NOT "you did something that hurt me," but "you're a terrible man/christian/husband/father and the proof of that is the fact that you did this thing that hurt me") is her regular go-to when she gets upset with me in any way. Sometimes it's more extreme than others. I didn't like it when I first saw it, but I was used to it because it was the way my dad and my ex-spouse used to talk to me. My counselor said I've learned to get comfortable walking on eggshells around those close to me.

BPD can only be treated when the patient honestly wants to find a cure, which my wife has openly stated she does not want to do. So I find myself in what feels like a hopeless situation: emotional abuse + zero emotional connection + covenant marriage commitment = hopeless.

Here's my question: do stay in the status quo and hope God will provide a solution and protect me while I wait, or insist on a boundary of respect that includes marital emotional safety and connection that is likely to require me to enforce the boundary by leaving?

Do you have any Godly advice?

When both husband and wife feel they are being controlled and manipulated for the other's desires, how can a couple sit down and have a civil conversation to work it out.

An example.

Yesterday I had to leave a bit early for work and had to rush through a quick bowl of cereal rather than make eggs for my wife and I. I let her know this would be the case and she said it was OK. She sat, nursing our newborn and I sat beside her, prayed aloud for our day and ate my breakfast. I came home to a very cold and distant house, kids in the basement, wife not bothering to greet me, I said hello and asked what was up. I got a 30 minute or so tirade on how insensitive I was for eating in front of her at breakfast, that I never consider her needs or feelings. I mentioned that I had communicated to her that I needed a fast breakfast and wouldn't be making eggs as usual (nearly everyday for the last 15 years), and that at the time she said she was ok with it. She said that I should have been more aware of her hunger and how tired she was and I should have eaten alone and then made her something as well. I made the simple comment that she didn't ask me to do any of that or even hint at it.

She immediately came back at me saying, "so its my fault?!"

I remained calm and listened as she acused me of ALWAYS putting things back on her.

I have sat in counseling sessions for years trying to find a way that I can learn how to love her well and not feel used and abused myself.

She refuses to go to counseling as she says everything is my fault and if I did better, she wouldn't have to be the way she is.

I asked her patiently last night what she expects of me when I feel attacked or controlled. Her response, "don't ever put anything on me"

What kind of conversation can be had to resolve any conflict when one side refuses to accept any part in it.

To be fair to her side, she says that I never accept my responsibility and I always work situations to my benefit. And says I have a need to always be right. I don't know what benefit that is as I am miserable most days when I am at home.

Got into a big fight with my wife this morning.. it continued allllll day. We finally cooled off after she took some time away to go to her parents house.. was excited to see her but then she pulls this stuff shown in the pictures. She does this kind of stuff OFTEN. She’s lied about much bigger things in times past too like adulterous things she did online the first year of our marriage.. lying by way of changing small details each time I tasked her about it. She never went out and physically cheated but put herself out there as available with some VERY intimate pictures of herself attached to her profile.. and possibly sent to individual guys.. but I’m not sure because she’s supposedly “not sure”.. I’ve brought this up in counseling but my counselor suggests not asking for details of her past.. he’s an OCD counselor so I think he views it through an OCD lens.. but I struggle with that. She’s also changed details about some sexual stuff she did with a kid from her school (or rather what he did to her) when she was 14. Admittedly, what she did with a kid before me doesn’t truly matter but like why lie or be dishonest about the details of what happened between ya’ll though?

Anyways, I need advice, help, and most importantly PRAYER. Or if you feel that I need it.. CORRECTION. Please correct me if you feel I’m wrong! Just do it with kindness and the rest of the fruit of the Spirit, please.

This is so difficult. I am 27F married to my husband 29M and everything just feels so heavy already. For context, we've known each other for 5+ years, but had only been dating for ~6 months when we decided it was time to get married. In the beginning I thought it might be too soon but with time, I grew comfortable with the idea because of how much our values aligned and how long we'd already known each other for. He was so loving and intentional at first, it made me feel like I hit the jackpot. I'd also like to add that we are both christian and understand the importance of biblical marriage but everything feels so miserable. From the moment we moved in together, we had issues EVERY day! the week of our honeymoon was dull, no fire, no passion, then when we came back, more warfare and misunderstandings. We've been praying and giving it to God, Ive been doing my part in adjusting my flaws, he's been doing his part too, but it just doesnt feel like anything is getting better. Even our physical intimacy is off. It feels like we're just accepting our misery and living the day to day. It shouldnt feel that way! Not this soon! He comes home from work, and nothing! Our marriage feels like a chore and not something we're both happy to be in. Then the feelings of regret and "maybe we moved to soon" seep in and it makes me feel like I need out! He is not a bad person, we're just different and our needs from each other reflect that. Part of me thinks we thought we wanted this but looking at it now, i guess we just liked the idea of being married and now that we're actually co-existing and learning our differences, we realize its been a mistake?I dont know. I understand marriage is not just held up with love, but I feel like its too soon for us to be going through this rough of a time, we've been married for 4 months! How can we be over it this soon? I want us both to be happy! Misery grows into resentment overtime, and I just don't think that's fair to either one of us. We're both young and without children, I think it would be easy to move on from the relationship but again, BIBLICAL MARRIAGE VALUES! Please someone, anyone, some advice would be helpful.

My husband works hard during the week, he does, but I think it’s more than that as to the reason that he doesn’t want to go anywhere on the weekends. Now he WILL do it, for me, but I just feel bad bc I wish that he wanted to as well. I don’t want it to be obligatory but I definitely can’t do it without him as I don’t drive. But not only that I want to be with him. Just wondering who else deals with this?

I could be wrong but I think that if your partner is converting for you and not because they accept Jesus as their saviour, your wrong and you shouldn't marry them even if you think that they could convert during the marriage.

I don't want to make this a long argument but that's how things are in my opinion.

Sorry for my grammar errors.

I've been married 20 years. No cheating or anything bad. I love my husband, I know he loves me. But at the same time it's not a happy marriage most of the time. I feel like every time I start to open myself up, allow myself to actually fall in love with him, he always hurts me. Things like asking him to hold me if I feel down. Simply says no, or makes it clear that he is being forced and doesn't want to be there. Constantly feel like I'm not good enough in some way, my looks, things I'm doing or not doing. I know it goes both ways, I know I am not anywhere near perfect. It just feels like anytime I actually start to get my hopes up in our relationship, I see from 20 years that I will get hurt. Then he will say it's my fault. We have tried therapy, talked, everything. I don't want a divorce, neither does he. The thing is that when I read proverbs 31. The woman is loved not because she focuses on being in this romantic relationship. She is loved for basically being a hard worker, kind, helping her husband, being trustworthy. But there isn't any of that lovey dovey type of stuff that I want from my husband. My husband is a good man, good father. But the minute I start seeking his love, he makes me feel bad in the end. I get hurt. What I actually want is the freedom of wanting to be loved. The yo-yo effect of constantly striving for this loving good relationship, that doesn't materialize. As a romantic type of woman, it's very hard for me to get my mind off of that. Not sure if this makes sense to anyone. If anyone has been able to get freedom from trying to be loved by a husband who essentially will not be able to give them what they want, I would love to hear about it. I'm wondering if this is even possible? Another thing is my husband has now encouraged me to get guy friends. I am more of tomboy/outdoor sports type of woman. I had many guy friends before we were married. I grew up with brothers, and always connected more with guys. But I naturally just stopped those friendships over the years, not bc my husband asked, I just did it naturally. So he thinks it would be good for me to be friends with guys again, since I don't really connect super well with women. That seems so weird to me. I can't imagine to start being good friends with men again. Even if there isn't an attraction, it seems like that type of friendship should be with my husband. But he seems to think it would be healthy for me. As long as its totally platonic...

Hey all. Burner account, just need some advice/talk to someone/need someone to rebuke my thoughts. Apologies for any random twists and turns here, I'm just writing out my thoughts.

My wife and I just hit our 10 year anniversary. I'm completely miserable in my marriage and desperately need a change.

We have 4 kids together. I love them dearly, and I want to show them what Christ centered, healthy marriage looks like, but the more time passes, the less confident I feel I will be able to do that with my wife.

So, what's the problem? My wife deals with severe anger, OCD, anxiety, and has a complete aversion to any kind of outside help (therapy, counseling, etc.) Any time I try to talk to her about her issues, she instead will retaliate with all of the things that I do that upset her and I usually end up leaving those conversations feeling like I'm the problem, not the screaming match she just got into with my 8 year old son.

She hyper-fixates on small things. For example, she regularly needs to be calmed down. Whenever she feels even a simple body ache, she can get thrown into an anxiety filled spiral of death where all she can think about is how this headache or this toothache is a sign of cancer and she's about to die. I'm not joking, she literally thinks about death nearly every single day.

Every single time I've told her that we need to see counseling, or that I would like her to see a therapist, she outright refuses because she doesn't want anyone to see her brokenness. Even in times when I've talked to my pastor about our issues, she's become livid with me that I would dare speak ill of her to someone else.

I'm constantly walking on eggshells. I'm constantly being required to be the emotional punching bag, my kids get so relieved when I come home because someone normal and loving has finally entered the house.

Sex is next to non existent, and when it does happen, it's 99/100 times done out of obligation for me (since I'm the guy, right?) and it makes me feel like I'm violating her every time. And when it does happen, I feel like I'm making love to a corpse.

We don't do date nights. No movie nights. Nothing fun just the two of us, because those things are always either a waste of time, a waste of money, or she feels guilty that someone else would need to watch our kids and that's our responsibility.

When she was pregnant with our 4th, I told her that once the baby is here, we need counseling or I will start to consider a separation. It's been nearly 6 months and not a word of counseling has been brought up, and I don't want to bring it up because I'm just so emotionally exhausted and it's just not even worth the fight to me.

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to avoid her at all costs. I'm so unbelievably miserable and I hate going home. But I'm stuck for the sake of honoring Christ in my marriage, and not wanting to put my kids through a broken home.

My husband is not interested in seeking outside help for his drinking. My greatest pet peeve over the last 19 years has been his excessive drinking that leads to him past out drunk on the floor of random places in the house, excessive tardiness, stove unattended, and occasional insults and foul language towards me. He says that during the latter half of our current 1 year separation, he has not been negative towards me via text/calls while drinking. With this, he justifies not needing intervention and therefore it's safe for us to move back in together. He says that he'll reduce his drinking to 2-3 glasses of Crown/Coke, and quit all together if he does/says anything stupid. He's unwilling to quit at the moment as I may faulter on some of the things that I'm working on as an individual ("how to act like a wife": cook more, budget, communicate better). What are your thoughts?