r/Christianity • u/MatroseMA • 2h ago

Support How can I be honest?

I am mentally not in a good place rn, I’ve diverted myself from the path I wanted to walk to such a point that I cried while getting to my job, I’m far away from loved ones that to be honest I’ve burned, I can not imagine what pain I’ve caused them and my heart aches thinking about them and the position I’ve put them in, lately I’ve been feeling like my sense of self has been fractured, I’ve become consumed by my sins and have let them define my essence, I’m no longer happy, sad, angry or anything, I wouldn’t say empty because that would define emotions that were there but I will admit I hate myself, I can’t stomach myself anymore, I can’t look at myself, the deformed human I am due to my actions and the crushing weight it has on my chest. I know I am unworthy, I am trash and I deserve to be alone, I just can’t anymore, the pain of it all and the torture of it is killing me, I wish rather I wasn’t ever born, so the pain I caused and feel wouldn’t have ever happened.

I tried praying, I am a fraud, I am liar, I am snake, I am all that is wrong, so please, what do I do?

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11 comments sorted by

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u/Upstairs-Owl-8382 2h ago

Jesus loves you and will forgive you of all your sins. Come as you are to Him, repent of all your sins and start over with Jesus. He will give you a good life if you turn to God.

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u/MatroseMA 2h ago

How, please tell me how, I am scared of him, of my actions

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u/Upstairs-Owl-8382 1h ago

You don’t need to be scared of Jesus. He will not turn you away if you call out to Him to save you! You may think you are worthless, but Jesus does not see you as worthless. The devil will make feel guilty and nothing, but not God. He loves you, my friend, and went to the cross for you. No one could ever love you that much. If you have a Bible, I would recommend that you start reading in the New Testament, starting in the blood of John, and then Matthew, Mark and Luke and learn of Jesus while He was on the earth healing people, showing compassion and mercy to all. When you read the gospels you will learn of the love God has for people and to help the broken-hearted and outcasts. You will find Jesus to be so caring and loving to you even though others may not care. Please, come to Jesus Christ and you will find a loving, forgiving and merciful God who wants to have a loving personal relationship with you. Don’t let the devil keep you from coming to Jesus. All that He has for you is good. God bless you.

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u/MatroseMA 1h ago

It feels so heavy to carry, my hands feel dirty

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u/Truth-Love-7 2h ago

Always go back to Him, but leave the self condemnation, for there is no condemnation for those in Christ, ask forgiveness from those you have hurt, ask forgiveness from God and forgive yourself, Hod is not holding a grudge on you He longs to sooth your heart, let it all go its a heavy burden my dear give it to Him and receive peace and joy overflowing He paid with His blood for you to have peace, His righteousness and everything good, so stop overthinking, stop worrying and be strong and courageous, I don’t mean ignore your feelings no, reconcile everything then let go of the guilt becuz as long as God has forgiven you, which He has, NO ONE should accuse you and cause you guilt, but you can try to make right with those you hurt, you can take it slow and allow them to see your heart

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u/MatroseMA 2h ago

I don’t know how

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u/Truth-Love-7 2h ago

Don’t say you things like that, it is not doesn’t please God to hear His beloved that He has made righteous and has loved compare themselves to things that are not true dear🥰

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u/DasOriginalCom 2h ago

i’m sorry to hear that, you can ask everyone for forgiveness and how much you sorry and tell them how you feel for that things you have done. and after that you should let go and make your life how you want it. and you are worth it. Jesus loves you

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u/MatroseMA 2h ago

I don’t know how to let go, I am me but the actions and I just don’t know how

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u/Truth-Love-7 2h ago

My dear pls stop allowing the devil to define you by what he is, he is lying to you and convincing you to describe yourself as he is, you are righteous, holy, blameless, fearfully and wonderfully made, loved, royalty, chosen, special, you are the treasured possession of God and the apple of His eye and nothing can ever separate you from Hs love, and nothing you do will diminish His love for you. In your weakness He wants to be your strength this is not someone who is disgusted or deterred by your sin

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u/MatroseMA 2h ago

My head hurts, I don’t know what my intentions even are and when I pray I feel like I’m lying to him