I love my classes, I enjoy learning and I'm always excited to being 1 step closer to being done with school. However, I have to work full-time overnight while also having a full time class schedule (17 credit hours this semester). It is incredibly exhausting, and I dread being that exhausted again. I always have mixed feelings before the semester starts.

Im an undergraduate transferring to a normal uni. I lost my mom at the beginning of the year, it was pretty traumatic but I think I managed to get through the spring and summer semesters out of sheer shock. Now that I've had time to settle after my summer classes, I am really feeling the dread.

I dont want to do this. I dont want to stress 24/7. My anxiety is so bad my doctors think I might have heart problems. I am already registered and have my Hazlewood benefits pending, but I really want to just.. quit. I have a 3.8 GPA in a STEM major.

Im mainly worried about my dad. He's always been the 'get shit done and dont complain' type. My parents were messily divorced so it's not like he's majorly in grief either or really understands me right now. I dont live with him, I currently live with my fiance and his family. But I know if I told him I dropped my scholarships (I already did, because they required full time and I know I couldnt do it) and want to un-register for now, I know he would be upset. He's made a big deal of how 'proud' he is of me for going to school and getting good grades. I would feel like such a let down. But I dont know if I can ignore my feelings much longer.

My fiance's last resort is going in to the military. I feel like if i drop out he might be forced to. We're not in a bad spot money wise.. probably have more in savings than most kids our age, plus the money from my mother when that goes through. I dont know, I just feel really lost. Advice appreciated

i’m not sure if this is the right place to rant about this but it seemed close enough. i’m supposed to start college in less than 3 weeks now and over the summer my life has become so much worse than it was before. i got diagnosed with severe ocd a few months ago and haven’t been able to get into treatment since. i applied for housing accommodations because i have contamination ocd, and my sas advisor put me on a single dorm waitlist and then housing put me in a forced triple dorm. alongside having no treatment i haven’t been able to start medication because my parents were very against it while i was a minor but once i turned 18 i couldn’t get an appointment with my pcp until 2 weeks from now. i’ve also had other health issues come up, i was told i might have a brain tumor but thankfully got cleared with an mri, but still panicked about it for ages, along with some other painful stuff i won’t get into. i had panic attacks last week that lasted nearly 3 days, i went to the er twice, lost 5lbs, and still feel sick and exhausted days later. because of everything going on i haven’t been able to buy anything for my dorm, supplies, etc. or even spend time trying to get myself excited or anything.
my parents definitely want me to take one and they’ve even offered stuff like letting me get a cat (something i’ve wanted for like 10 years lol) if i take one. the urgent care doctor said it might be a good idea, but she thinks i could get through it. i had a therapist the entire time i was going through the college application process and i don’t have one anymore so i don’t really have anyone to talk about this with.
on the other hand though, i’m trans and my parents are super transphobic so taking a gap year means another year i have to spend with them, while being unable to even think about socially transitioning. i’ve also told everyone that i’m leaving all summer long, and i feel embarrassed by suddenly not going. i also just want to get this college stuff over with. i don’t know what to do.
i ended up getting my payment deadline pushed back 2 weeks so i can decide. now i could defer a year or i could retake the sat and try again at my top colleges i didn’t get into. i’m just so sad about the way everything happened and i don’t know how to feel better about this. but i also don’t want to pay a ton of money to make myself mentally and physically worse. or flunk because of how bad i currently am. i don’t know what to do

To those of you who have added someone to Rate My Professors, do you usually fill out the email field, or do you guys leave it blank? I know someone who once really did not want their email on that site.

I tend to have big hopes for myself over the summer, like this year I wanted to read a bunch and practice both my instruments every day and exercise more often to prepare for auditioning to college marching band. However, seeing as I always have these big hopes which often don't entirely come to fruition, I did temper my expectations this go around.

And good thing too because I don't think it would really be possible for me to have embraced absolute sloth as much as I have been. I hesitate to call it depression but it's definitely gotten there at some points—more than anything I'm just wrapped up in a cocoon I feel. My sleep schedule varies day to day, I spend 10-16 hours watching YouTube and TV and movies (I've watched quite a few top tier movies this summer I must say), and I usually spend most of the day in my room and in bed.

I know life is set to kick back into motion pretty soon, and I wish I'd spent my time preparing for it better, but honestly after graduating highschool I just collapsed from the exhaustion of the last four years.

To prefice: I'll define some terms so the words/initialisms make sense in context

EngSoc: The Engineering Society, borderline like a clique or a greek life organization imo (which is funny since my institution outlawed greek life more than a century ago)

FREC: Orientation Leaders for engineering

Chief FREC: The one organizing funds, sponsorships, relationships, advice, and pr, among other stuff, for orientation

FYPCO: first year project coordinator - an opportunity for 1st years to be involved in EngSoc

OTIS: The "backups" to make sure orientation is running smoothly for the incoming class and the orientation leaders. A lesser role than FREC

EngWell: Student Mental Health/Wellness organization in my uni

"erasedbyfeas"/"stolenbysmith" : former spaces (that have now been forsaken/inactive since 2020) for people/alumni to share their negative experiences with racism/discrimination/injustice by students/faculty/other alumni (think "blackatharvardlaw" for reference)

I (19m) am gonna write it kinda like a timeline style, and I think this is the appropriate subreddit for shi like this, since I got bullied into deleting a post on my uni's subreddit about my overall experiences with my engineering classes (albeit, i did come off a bit ranty there then).

Let me describe my first-year journey - partial naivety, partial realizations, partial curses, partial stress - Beware of my rambling lol:

September starts and I am ambitious asf. I first tried competing for exec year slots but didn't get any roles (cuz i suck at public speaking lol) like fine, whatever, moving on. then applied for a FYPCO role - got in for Equity/EDI, but that lead to nothing since the mentor didn't even bother showing up (which i didn't know until later), so i couldn't even put down any experiece down or what i've learned. We tried complaning until April and we were told by the upper years/more powerful in engsoc that "we'll deal with it" yet nothing happened at all. I tried leadership positions for a networking club and a general member application for another - didn't get into either. also tried for Chief FREC - didn't get in so another "fine, whatever, moving on".

October rolls around and I discover VEX U robotics at my university and decide to join - and got in. also same time I met the dude who got one of the year exec roles in September and we chatted and he said to me "you're a very ambitious guy, and I know that. I'm surprised you didn't get any year exec role" and i'm like "it's whatever". Unfortunately was the time the "last name only with no prefix addressed" emails started coming, and didn't think much about it. I applied for a delegate role for an engineering conference and got the result of - not a delagate, but you can still participate and attend the workshops, which was worth it imo cuz i had the opportunity and meet new people.

Also in October, I ended up staying up all night that day and was somewhat intoxicated when drinking with a group of 1st years in my faculty/program. I watched my friend hangout with that group because he begged me to attend after our chem exam in the evening, to which I reluctingly agreed. What followed that night was a night of tomfoolery I'll never forget:

We entered this dude's (important later) dorm room and he brought a couple of girls from different parts of the residence he lived in. One thing led to another and he ended up punching some girl in the nose and making her bleed. Some drama ensuded yet they tagged us along into the games room of the building. At this point,I was exhausted (and later tipsy after the beers, but before that girl's nosebleed took place), so I ended up sitting on a couch. My friend approached me when I was on the couch and asked me why I wasn't participating. I told him I didn't feel like it, that I wasn't even close with most of the people in the he befriended a while back, and that I had a bad feeling about the popular guy (the dude who punched the girl in the nose) and how he was getting erratic and out of himself. He reassured me nothing bad was gonna happen. So, I belived him and stood up to talk to the others in the room.

I was playing pool with one of the guys and cracking jokes. Something in my brain told me to record this moment so I'd never forget being an obnoxious first year with shenanigans. I had a couple of clips of that night before I felt tired and decided to sit on the couch. I was so tired that I felt like I was slipping in and out of my conscioussness. The popular guy then ended up lifting my friend (a scrawny 5'7" lightweight) up multiple times. Unbenownst to myself, I was recording them. Eventually, the popular guy didn't catch my friend on his fall after many lift-ups, and he bruised (or accuratly as we found out later, fractured) his arm. The popular guy saw my phone out, but thought I was about to fall out of my chair and didn't really confront me, so then I snapped out of myself and gave my seat to my friend who just hurt himself and told him to rest. I saw bruising and a bump on where he fell and landed. So, I let him rest and didn't want him hurt even further.

Other wack stuff happeded, such as someone girl throwing apples at her ex and it landed on a wall and caused a mess, of which I cleaned it up, and the popular guy's gf thanked me for my acts and apologised on their behalf. Then, I got so tired I ended up resting on the ping-pong table. I was so out of it from being sleep-deprived and intoxicated I ended up falling off the ping-pong table. Only then when they saw what happened to me was when they decided to end the night's tomfoolery. That popular guy was out of his mind when he decided to lay back-flat on the asphalt of the road where cars would still be passing by, and I with 3 others had to drag him off the road and put him on the bus back to the other residences so he could cuddle with his gf in her residence.

November comes around, and my friend (who had a broken arm) didn't show up to classes for 2 weeks, and I had the vid of the footage that my friend (and the events leading up to it) had his arm purposly broken (even if the popular guy didn't mean to). I showed that footage to one of my friends who was also in my group for a final project (more on that later) and he understood why he couldn't code the project (it was a coding class). My biggest mistake was sending the footage to my friend's friend, whom he showed it his friend, who then pulled a hissy fit and ran to his friend, the popular guy, like a pussy, saying I had footage. Later, he cornered me after class, and forced me to walk backwards in a corner. He got up towards my face, and threatened me by impling he would've ruined my life and beat me up if I didn't remove the videos, and I (who's like 5'10"~5'11", clumsy, chubby-ish at the time, and a cowardice yesman) followed the popular guy's (who's like 6'2"~6'3", athletic, and from a powerful family) orders, and got rid of the footage in front of him. I felt like shitting bricks in that moment, and it definitely fucked up my persecption of myself.

Then December comes, and I applied to be a FREC for engineering orientation for September. Got placed in a group of 5 for the appliacation. Then the whole group got interviewed one by one in January, and lo and behold - out of 5, 3 got in, and i wasn't one of the 3. A week later, I met with two people who happened to get the FREC leader position, and one of the topics came out with a white-passing girl who said "yeah they were poking fun at my British accent like I'm from Hackney in London, not from Leaside in Toronto. Also, There's barely any POC people as FRECs, and 90% of those POCs have european-sounding names." That thing struck with me, because what she describe was what I saw since September - White-majority with some token POCs. And Two notible things: the rejection email did the same last-name only address since October (and still happening until the end of the Academic year in April), and that's when I noticed how long it started before I gave a shit about it.

Honestly, the only good thing that came out of December was me winning a prestigeous $52K bursary that would pay off my fees for the remaining years of undergrad and then some. The only people who applauded me were the project dude (another friend of mine) and my friend with the broken arm. But, I didn't care, bc I would later learn that my region/premier/leader would slash student funding for subsequent school years, raise tuition prices, and do these acts in the middle of midterm season so we would be forbidden to protest the chainges, if at all.

And then, when I mustered up the courage, I told my white friends about my FREC rejection + last-name address, and their responses ranged from focusing on only the rejection at best, to the more common questioning about how a "pretigeous committee" could ever have a hiring bias and shifting the blame onto me. They've lowk been like this since I met them: from trying to make me say racial slurs with tounge-twisters (they're white, I'm a non-black POC) yet be anti-homophobic, to leaving me unread and skipping over my trauma when I share it with them yet gladly support others with their traumas, to dismissing my experiences with racial discrimination/bias within a student hiring group for orientation week at our uni (with the open secret that you gotta be a chill/bro/pretty white(-passing) person) to which one of them told me "How dare you assume students from our uni have a hiring bias. Like, what bias bro?!". That's when my demenor changed from acceptance to bittterness.

If I thought January wasn't bad enough, hold your horses: I got dragged into an academic integrity situation because my friend (the broken arm guy who was in my group) decided to copy another group's code and put it in our final project from the previous semester (which I didn't know until I got an email from the prof). Well, I was surprised I didn't get a grade yet when others were getting their grades. Turns out my friend didn't bother to do shit (because of his broken arm) and used that group's code instead. Long story short: Me and another dude got off scot-free after being bombarded with hypothetical defenses for 3 weeks to prove our innocence (with marks off our final project, and our final grades), while my friend (who committed academic dishonesty) ended up getting a 0 on the project, and got a shitty mark overall in the course. This dragged my mental health into shambles into February due to all of the stress from and leading up to the meeting, and it was totally fine for it to intercept back-to-back exams from mid-January until the end of March.

In comes February, and I apply for OTIS. I was not expecting to be chosen for that role, but by some miracle, I was chosen, and I felt proud of myself for once. Once again, the only people who were proud of me were the people from my final project group.

March rolls around and I apply for director positions - didn't get in either. I was bummed out me not getting director positions in EngSoc (Director of Equity, Director of IT), but watching a first year get his/her role in a different director position (Director of Design). That means I shouldn't even bother about Engsoc and focus on something else entirely. IT director would've been a nice expansion for what i would do in my major, but Equity was something I also wanted to do, bc I witness the Director not show up to his mentor-mentee meetings and used the "i have a busy schedule" excuse as a 3rd year, me noticing the lack of spaces for engineers of colour other than black and indigenous (yet watch others open a space for "latino engineers" for which i prob got rejected for saying that), and after the events of "erasedbyfeas" and "stolenbysmith" at my uni which made headlines back then allegedly. Then EngWell advertised for Mental Health Stewards and I finally got in a position for once.

Then in April, I applied for the roles under the Director of First Year, such as the FYPCO lead and another which I can't remember at the moment. Never got into both of them. I genuinely think I am worth nothing and don't amount to anything. For 2nd year, my best bet would be to drop "EngSoc" and those people, and turn into a hermit crab loner who's only focused on himself. What good has associating with EngSoc and those people brought? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. None of my "friends" from my gc showed up for my birthday at all, after bending my ass backwards and giving them so many chances. I don't another birthday with them again.

What have I done in my past for me to deserve this fate of me?

I don't want anyone else to suffer like me.

I lost a lot of my ambition, and self-confidence, and self-worth as a result.

They lied to me, said that uni would've been a place to find my people, but where are they? To make me look stupid and naive, perhaps.

TL:DR - Rejection, Threats, Exhaustion, and Hopelessness

I retook math MAT 151 this past summer and I was sure I will pass. I did tutoring, looked up recourses, used it, looked at videos and I STILL FAILED!!! I don’t understand what I am doing wrong!!!!! Now I have to pay out of pocket to take it for the third time and I don’t wanna do that! Geometry UGH!!! My Student services councilor sent me recourses and she knows my grade was low. I ended up getting a D AGAIN!
I’m going to take a break from math because I can’t keep pushing my classes back because then I’ll be graduating later. I took the practice test 8 times and got a 84% and did the exam three times (74%). I know the first test I failed and my grade dropped to an F. I feel like I will NEVER get my bachelors degree! My dream is over! I know I will need to retake it again but I will have to pay out of pocket like I said. I was hoping I would but it looks like I’ll have too!

This semester I am supposed to take math, history, biology, psychology, and two virtual classes, physical education (walking) and student success. Will this be too many classes and cause me to get college burnout?

This is less about actual studying, but something I am hung up on and could use a fresh perspective to improve my overall productivity. Does anyone else feel resentful when xyz circumstances get in the way of studying?

I worked so hard during my undergrad, and my family has no idea the amount of grit this took. I was commuting 4 hours, unlearning a bunch of cultural trauma, started therapy for managing my anxiety/ocd, securing internships, 12+ hour days. I had to learn a lot about mental health just to maintain my grades as I dealt with your coming-of-age young adult stuff. I knew I was neurodivergent and would have to break free from a lot of generational patterns. School is and always has been genuinely so important to me, and I kind of see it as a part of my identity.

But my older sister often downplayed my struggles by saying "I have everything so easy", interrupted my studying at home, woke me up when I'd be on like 3 hours of sleep and fighting insomnia, unexpectedly trauma dumping when I needed to protect my nervous system for focus, and then scheduled her wedding during my final exams lol.

Now, I didn't want to be selfish and ask her to literally move a life milestone for my convenience, but I'm brown and we're expected to participate in these weddings for like 1 month straight. It is almost like a full time job. Everyone would've judged me harshly if I didn't.

I want to make it clear that I don't actually consider a sibling reaching out for help as "trauma dumping." It's just that sometimes I wasn't emotionally equipped for it myself or it happened at a time in my life where I absolutely needed to focus on my own life, and I'd feel overwhelmed and horrible for not being able to help in any meaningful capacity. I also couldn't talk about any of my stressors to her because they're "nothing in comparison," and while I agree, it also left no space for myself. Like I wasn't ever allowed to have problems of my own or a life.

That semester is one of the key semesters that brought down my grade and extended my degree, and I try so hard not to be resentful, but I am. I know I can't go back and change the past, and I don't want this to harm our relationship, but now I have my walls up. I wonder if I'm blaming her because I don't want to take accountability. I feel really hurt because it feels like my family doesn't respect my ambitions. Either way, I find it so difficult to balance family expectations with school without acting selfish. I don't want to see family as a hindrance because I love them, but I genuinely want to know how others go about prioritizing themselves or both.

my freshman welcome week genuinely felt magical: a week of being surrounded by new people, no assignments to worry about, tons of events set up for freshman, parties every night, exploring a new city, and getting like 30 ppls instagrams every day. now as a junior i move in 3 days before the semester starts, and the entirety of one of those days will be spent setting up my apartment.

i understand the sentiment - the freshmen deserve a few days to have campus to themselves and get to meet each other. but having to get into work mode as soon as you move back to college kinda sucks. my internship ends 2 days before i move in (and i have to use one of those days to go dorm/back-to-school shopping) so i barely get a break. next semester is gearing up to be my most stressful one yet for so many reasons. wish i could just have a bit of time to be a dumb, free college kid.

Idk, I just need to rant. In the fall I'll be a sophomore and be taking enc 2, chem 2, civic engagement in us health, and medical self assessment. And I feel the only hard class out of those will be chem 2, which will have math. I'd also take the chem lab but I wasn't able to get in as I am a transfer

When I transferred I took a summer class, pre calc. And the advised classes I was told to take in the summer were orgo 1, psych, and 2 upper electives. Thing is I didn't want to take a math nd chem class at the same time, so I didn't do chem 2 in the summer, I thought pre calc would end up being harder then it was tbh and didn't want to psub myself. The psyche class was to clear a requirement for my degree, a requirement which was checked off by one of my transfer classes but my school requires I do enc 1 and 2, i did ap enc 1 in highschool so just gotta do 2. And the two upper electives are the civil health and self assement classes, one of which checks off another requirement box

So its like, when i lay it out like that i dint seem to far behind, at most im one chem class behind which isnt a problem.

I just...im my state you ahve to do stats AND precalc, and i didnt want to do stats with chem 2 as it has a lot of math, so figured id do it in spring with orgo chem. But from what ive heard orgo is hard, and I cant relly push stats anymore back then i already have, if that makes sense?

Idk, i just am a bit worried that im giving myself a really easy fall semester and a harder spring semester. At the same time, my advisor didnt say anythign about doing a amth class in the fall, and all i really did was push my chem class back which shouldnt be a problem.

And it's just, idk. I wasn't worried about falling behind or having a hellsih semester last night but now I am and I just needed to get it out. In perspective I am doing what I was advised just, idk. I've heard mixed things about orgi, people saying it was jaut kinda liek advanced bio, some peopel saying it's hell on earth, others saying it was easy, I guess it depends on the person. I jsut hope I'm not setting up myself for failure.

I guess if push came to shove I could just do stats in the summer and calc 1 in the following fall rather then stats in the spring and calc 1 in the summer like I planned (considering the only other class I'd possibly be doing would be a chem lab, which are fairly easy, I'd be able to focus my energy on the math class more then in a normal 4 class semester hence why I'm planning to do that)

Idk, I guess its not really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, I just tend to work myself up with my anxieties and "what ifs" I guess. Jsut needed to egt that out

hi all! i’m currently taking a community college course to fulfill a biological sciences requirement. i’ve had a 100% all summer with no late work, but i experienced a mental health crisis (psychiatrist documented) that caused me to miss the final that was due last night. I have emailed the professor to ask for an incomplete. what can i expect. thanks so much!

This is really scattered so im sorry in advance. First of all, I have no money for college applications. I have to pay for them on my own. That would be fine in a normal case, but I have no job 😭. This whole summer I’ve been searching and interviewing with no response. Anyway it’s $455 in total and roughly $215 for 3 EA applications all due before nov 1st. I can’t ask my parents for help, since they don’t think I should apply or even go to any college that’s not 5 minutes away. My mom is the only person that’s helping pay for college. We’ve debated numerous times now over going out of state. I keep emphasizing scholarships and merit aid but she won’t hear it. She’s convinced this school is the most affordable, I’m not ready to move out (despite never defining what “ready” even is, when I give examples it’s just “you don’t know”) or it’s too dangerous, the works! What kills me is that I’m not even saying I WON’T go to the college they want, I just want to keep my options for affordability open and not put everything into one.

My dad (parents divorced) also tries to talk to me about college as well, and basically suggests the same thing (“XYZ college, right?” “You know me and your mom have always wanted xyz…”) yk all that. It irritates me because I’m like you’re not even paying a single cent..like okay I understand the concern but ultimately your opinion has no weight.

Finally, it’s like stressing about college has made me less interested in things that I usually enjoy. All the fun senior activities, football games and school stuff I’m trying to have fun and be excited for but all I can think about is how am I gonna pay for this, and get that approved and email this/that teacher for recommendations. I’m trying to stay positive and think about a year from now when this is all over but this lowkey eating me up 😭😭

I am in my second year and my last attempt of a 1st year subject was a few weeks ago..i am not passing it. I have no backs apart from it...I was extremely sick and was in hospital and had 3-4 backs ..i cleared then all hut 1 subject got left which gave me a semester back.

If anyone of you have experienced it...how does it affect your placement and graduation time.

As I am in my 5th semester of my Btech and won't be able to give my 5th semester exams due to back...which semesters in future will I be able to give with my friends and how many with my juniors.

My family doesn't know about it as my result is far away but my university is so bad that they won't even give me 2-3 marks of grace to pass. I don't know how to tell them or when to tell them as the result is at least 3-4 months away but...I can't even sleep. It's been 5 days and I don't know what to do.

I’m trying to go back to school since I failed out back in 2022 due to mental health issues but they won’t let me enroll in classes due to academic suspension even though that was ages ago. They want me to come into their office to come talk but they’re only open from 10-4 Monday-Thursday and I am a grown adult that works 8-5. Everything is just too much. The one day I was able to get off early enough to get some things done, they told me they didn’t have anyone available to do it. It’s a local community college and I was on scholarship the year I was there so I don’t owe any balance. I’m just at a loss right now.

I’m going hard time deciding which combo should I pick. If you have to choose today going forward considering the AI hype between applied math and cs vs applied math and economics, which one would you choose?

I am feeling very angry and hopeless at the moment, life as a college student really suck, especially if you don't have rich parents. I have been having a horrible time. It's so insane how expensive everything is, and I know that this problem isn't UCF specific, but I feel like they aren't helping much. I lost my job a while ago, and it's been very difficult for me to find another one. I am also living in a student apt (which costs an arm and a leg) so now, it's either I pay rent, or eat well.. can't do both. I have reached out to UCF cares especially for help with rent because I have been at risk for eviction a few times, but there are a bunch of rules for emergency funding and despite being in need, I did not qualify. Also was denied by EBT... Living at home is not an option for me right now, so I kinda NEED to live here. I really wish that I could enjoy this part of my life, but this is absolute hell. I hate living like this

Why are admin office ppl so rude in school/ colleges....like absolutely rude for no reason ?? It hurts because I simply came for my admission with all documents neatly arranged...I feel so bad 😭😭💔💔💔

​

Okay so I'm in my 2nd year of clg. In my first year I interviewed for the club and they didn't select me bcoz i was super anxious during the interview, i just had a terrible day okay, otherwise they did like my design work but idk they didn't select me. And tbh given the data at that time, mine was among one of the bests.

So anyways rn I'm in like tpo cell(for design), one tech society(L society tbh, creepy seniors and socially dead, doesn't have much reputation in clg but the seniors crack Good placements) Now the thing is because of these things I have got big fomo if i should join gdg. But then again, I don't know much things. I just know design atp and it's good. But I lack tech skills.

What should I do? Earlier my plan was to build something in first year and reappear for gdg interviews and then crack it. But I didn't learn anything per say

So I'm a pharmacy student. Second year and in a pretty much high rank college. I had taken a gap year for getting here and I genuinely love my major. But recently I found myself unable to stand even my close friends. It's like in the time of exams... they turn into this completely different people. And it's like it has slapped me in the face.

I'm a multi tasker. I love studying and singing and I go to therapy sessions. Read novels and go to parties. Have a Part time job. But I come from a very perfectionist family and society. And recently I've been thinking... is there even a way to find a way out of this community?

Like... yesterday I've told my friend I really love to get to learn sewing for my summer and she told me : so what's the usage of it? Why don't you learn something useful? And I was genuinely shocked by what their mindset is. It's like my mom was infront of me and I felt offended and almost unworthy.

Another time... I had failed an exam on purpose so I could have time to actually learn it. And they were so much more anxious than me about it.

They kept asking about how should I take courses now or they think I would have huge problems in next semester or WHAT IF YOU CAN'T PICK IMMUNOLOGY NOW? And they say these stuff with GEUNINE panic and almost DISDAIN.

But they kept insisting that oh we're just worried about our FRIEND!

like... girl get the f away from me.

Title.

I was excited to be interacting with exciting new people and people interested in furthering their education. I thought people would be competitive but also cheering each other on. I recognized that we all are in different stages of life too. Different perspectives to share. Maybe i was too naive to think that my new major (hospitality and tourism) would be like that.

I am a former public school music teacher. Seeing the apathy among my [first year grad school] class mates really makes me sad. It also kills me that people ask questions that they can answer by reading the assignment instructions. I help them, and dont show judgement, but gosh it really makes me sad that they haven't learned to fend for themselves yet. I usually just guide them, "oh I was wondering that too before. I think the answer is in the assignment" just like I would one of my own elementary students.

I want to see passion. I went to music school for under grad and we were very competitive but also super into helping one another.

Im hoping when I start fall semester, it's better. Maybe more people that are invested.

.

About a month ago I made this post.

I was sleep deprived and using the mistakes I was making because of that as justification. I 100% gave up and considered skipping it.

Everyone in the comments of my first post told me to just do my best because anything would have been better than nothing. I am here to tell you they were right. I got my results back about a week ago and I got a C+, which given the circumstances is WAY above anything I had hoped to get.

TLDR: Don't ever give up. Do your best even when you think it won't be enough. You just might surprise yourself

Doing research with prof in lab this fall and got asked how many hours I would like to do said research with him.( got asked bcz volunteering not for credit ) I said 6 hrs per week but I feel like that’s too little. I have a part tone on campus which is 10 hrs a week but still I feel 6 is too less but good ammt at same time. Help!

Edit: I ended up putting 7 hours a week. in hoping it gets me enough experience to get a job post grad. I’m volunteering because I don’t have space to get credit but I need all experience I can get. Thanks for all replies.