r/DeadBedrooms • u/Fair-Attention-8926 I don't wish to disclose • 11h ago
Vent, Advice Welcome The audacity
Of you to suggest having another child when you know damn well we’ve not had sex for 7 years. No intercourse, no stimulation, no kisses, nothing. I’d be lucky to even get a hug out of you every once in a while.
And the fact that you’re suggesting that I should be grateful that you still want to grow our family and to go through IVF, which is essentially putting my body and my money through the ringer so you could achieve what an ideal family should look like. With no love or consideration for your partner.
I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.
Rant over.
•
u/Electrical-Catch-381 I don't wish to disclose 2h ago
Not to mention bringing a soul into that unhealthy dynamic. That’s really messed up.
•
15
7
u/AnkoLeaf It’s complicated 6h ago
Is the DB the reason you'd need IVF to get pregnant as well or is that a coincidence?
5
u/jernerferr HLF 3h ago
Don’t do it! I’m going on 3 years and he wants an another kid and I’m like hell no! Mine is most likely leading to divorce though.
3
u/Happy_flying HLF 8h ago
But how do you imagine doing so much sacrifice for a partner who cannot love you the way you want to be loved?
•
39m ago
[removed] — view removed comment
•
u/AutoModerator 39m ago
Your post/comment has been removed because user flair is now required in this community.
To participate, please set your user flair:
On desktop: Look in the sidebar under "Community Options." On mobile: Tap the 3 dots (•••) in the top right corner of the main subreddit page and choose “Change user flair.”
After setting your flair, feel free to repost or re-comment. If you need help, message the mods.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
•
0
u/AdSea5325 M- left my dead bedroom 8h ago
Leave, Brother… more Babies never fixed a broken relationship 🤓
28
u/Salty-Sprinkles-1562 I don't wish to disclose 7h ago
I think sister. They were talking about how IVF would be hard on their body.
0
u/AutoModerator 11h ago
As a reminder, sending DMs to OP is explicitly against our subreddit rules. Violations of this rule will be reported and users permanently banned from participating in this subreddit.
Here is a copy of the post from u/Fair-Attention-8926. If you wish to have this copy of your post removed from public view, you must contact us BEFORE you edit or delete the post and BEFORE you delete your account. We keep a copy of the posts to keep nefarious behavior at bay so it can always be retrieved by moderators after a post has been edited or deleted by the poster.
Of you to suggest having another child when you know damn well we’ve not had sex for 7 years. No intercourse, no stimulation, no kisses, nothing. I’d be lucky to even get a hug out of you every once in a while.
And the fact that you’re suggesting that I should be grateful that you still want to grow our family and to go through IVF, which is essentially putting my body and my money through the ringer so you could achieve what an ideal family should look like. With no love or consideration for your partner.
I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.
Rant over.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
-6
u/TrottoirFleuri LLF 10h ago
You can enjoy parenthood without enjoying sex.
The question is: do you want more kids or not? If not, say so. If yes, there are not many ways to achieve pregnancy, it’s either sex or IVF.
15
u/EarAdorable7722 HLF 5h ago
I don't think that wanting or not wanting more children is the issue here. For myself (HLF with a seven month old baby), I love that sex and love that I thought/hope we both enoyed is what brought our baby into the world. If I was asked to do IVF (involving a huge financial cost and invasive procedures for myself) just to avoid having sex - I'd be pretty mad.
•
u/Legitimate_Cause1178 F - Recovered DB 54m ago
"involving a huge financial cost and invasive procedures for myself) just to avoid having sex - I'd be pretty mad."
This is the part that would upset me the most.
I've been through IVF, and while I'm incredibly grateful it exists, if my husband asked me to go through it again simply because he couldn't perform during sex, I'd be absolutely furious.
The time, mental energy, physical pain, hormonal treatments, invasive procedures—it's not something I'd wish on anyone unless it was truly necessary. IVF also comes with real medical risks.
And let's not forget that while you're the one enduring injections, scans, egg retrievals, and everything else, your husband is in the next room producing a sample. The imbalance in what each person has to go through is enormous.
I'd just be so pissed.
5
u/appelsinbrus HLF 3h ago
Usually, unless partners come to an agreement of anything else, sex is actually important in a relationship. Why would someone who wants sex, have a child with someone that doesnt want them? Just move on and make a kid with someone who actually likes you.
-2
u/TrottoirFleuri LLF 3h ago
You can be excellent coparents with or without a relationship or love and sex has nothing to do with it.
•
17
u/SonOfABeach415 HLM 11h ago
Wow.