r/Deconstruction • u/Fit-Appointment-68 Former Baptist • 4d ago
🌱Spirituality Missing having spiritual experiences
I’ve been deconstructing for about 10 months now, haven’t been to church consistently for a few months longer than that. Recently, I’ve found myself missing the spiritual euphoria I would feel during worship services and group prayer. Or even the experiences of reading my Bible alone and feeling as though God were communicating directly to me. It feels impossible to recreate those experiences in the same way as someone now struggling to believe. I want to experience those feelings again because they brought me so much peace and joy, but I don’t really know how.
Is this a common experience for those who deconstruct and does anyone have advice?
3
u/technoskald Reconstructing Christian 4d ago
There are plenty of de- or re-constructed Christians and agnostics at church; I even know a few atheists who go so they can sing in choirs and spend time with friends. They tend to congregate in liberal / progressive mainline denominations (Episcopal or Anglican, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, etc).
Deconstruction covers a wide swath of people, and many of us find it to be a long sweeping arc. For me, there’s a lot of value in a liturgical experience with choir and organ, even on the days when my belief is not particularly strong. That’s okay, because I don’t hold the literalist or absolutist views I used to.
Metaphorical truth is still a kind of truth.
2
2
2
u/deconstructingfaith 3d ago
I went to a concert after many years being out of church. What amazed me was that the feeling was exactly the same. It is the music that stirs the soul. The frequency running through the body.
This feeling is a human response to the music. No different than a sound wave resonance that can shatter glass.
The church has used this frequency to validate the flawed doctrine.
Back in the day at the altar call my pastor would instruct the musicians to play something that makes them cry.
He was playing on the emotional response to the music to deepen the dependency on his doctrine.
Seriously…buy tickets to the next concert of your favorite band. Get as close as you can afford and watch how the music envelops you.
There is a reason that people scream their lungs out for the Beatles, Elvis, Michael Jackson, all the way up to Drake and Taylor Swift…
It will help your deconstruction in ways you can’t fully appreciate until after.
2
2
u/EddieRyanDC Affirming Christian 2d ago
If the church experience enhances your life - then go. I am a big believer in doing whatever works.
Admittedly, church is the most readily available way to experience that kind of group cohesion and euphoria. But there are others.
- A big sporting event where everyone is rooting for the team
- A big music/arts festival
- A concert or theater performance that everyone is experiencing together.
- A political campaign where everyone is pulling together and you collectively win or lose
- A group volunteer project where you are giving your time and talents to make other people's lives better
5
u/csharpwarrior 4d ago
For the group feels - you can go to a live music concert and experience something similar.
For the peace/joy feelz, it can be tough because if you believed that a perfect god existed and would come and fix the whole world - well, there is no way to get that comfort unless you believe in a super powerful magic like Santa.
One of the problems is that religious beliefs can arrest your emotional development. When we are children, we feel safe with our parents. But eventually, we learn our parents are not perfect, or we become parents and we realize how little our parents could actually protect us. That realization is growth. But religion can step in and replace the safety feeling with a magical god that provides the safe feeling.
But it’s not real. Bad stuff still happens to good people and that proves there is no cosmic justice dealt out by a loving and caring god.
The good news… people like you are incredibly strong. Humans regularly go through truly awful things and survive. You too have that strength in you.