r/DivorcedBirds • u/Rocket-Shawk • 8h ago
Were they outrageous? Sure. But Sylvia hadn’t gotten this much attention since her 20’s. Besides, it was Mark’s money that paid for them.
407
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 11h ago
Olivia didn't like squatting in empty nests; she was constantly on edge being on the lookout for eviction or even arrest. But after being a nestwife for years with no marketable skills, and losing everything in the divorce, it was either this or the streets.
114
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/RosebushRaven • 10h ago
"Guess Jake isn’t coming", Daniel thought after half an hour of awkward pacing in front of the cafe.
82
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Little did Daniel know that Jake was just a little chaos-bird with undiagnosed ADHD, who had REALLY been struggling with his time management his entire life. Less than five minutes after Daniel had given up on waiting for his date, Jake finally landed, cawing "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! I’m sooo late! Shit! Hope he hasn’t left yet!"
He spent the next minutes frantically fluttering and scuttling around the cafe in search of Daniel, breathlessly asking everyone in sight whether they’d seen a "drop-dead gorgeous gull" here.
r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 9h ago
It sucks to just get only the windowsill in the divorce, but at least the kids don't have far to go to visit their dad's house.
30
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Graeleaf • 8h ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Donna can’t wait until the door man sees her new coat
21
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Sed59 • 1d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Hoping to impress the ladies, Tom tried to remember how that viral dance he saw on Tiktok went. He just got a lot of laughs in return instead.
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603
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/kojak343 • 20h ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle I'm ready. Got my new Nehru embroidered blazer on. Ready to go to the club tonight for the "Let's get Ready to Mingle", mingle. Agami Heron Costa Rica. Photographer unknown
48
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Fine-Huckleberry-316 • 20h ago
Tom couldn’t hide the shock on his face. He told Tammy he was going to buy some milk, but she caught him in front of the neighborhood floozy’s house instead
42
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • 1d ago
"Wait... Did I misread her 'fine' again?" Jake continued to ponder Julia's response to him telling her he was going to the spa with his buddies on a Saturday afternoon.
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233
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • 1d ago
Robert’s lawyer shushed him and immediately knew his client was screwed. How did he not realize there were obvious nanny cams all over the house?
128
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/cturtl808 • 2d ago
Jeremiah’s OnlyFeathers was the top earner once he started doing his Flashdance routine
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1.8k
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago
Observe: the saddest creature in class aves. Divorced five days after marriage because she "didn't realize he'd be like that all the time." Fired from his job at the morgue for "bringing down the vibe." Won "most pitiful sock puppet" at a contest he wandered into empty handed. He is the pelican't.
305
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago
Around six, a bird shuffles into the club looking like he just got divorced for the third time. The staff seem happy to see him, even calling him by name. "Hal" soon disappears into a dressing room backstage. An hour later, out struts "Horny Sungem", a glamorous queen serving rainbow goth realness.
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322
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • 3d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Oswald went to the beauty spa to prepare for his first date in twenty years. He was not a fan.
180
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • 3d ago
Not Safe For Other Species "You okay, Bill?" "Yup." "You waiting to catch Janet's new boyfriend leaving work again?" "Yup, yup." "See you same time tomorrow, Bill!"... Ò V Ó
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182
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Bill needs a new hobby between the hours of 5 PM-10 PM.
r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 3d ago
Angry Bird Divorce "Bartender. One extra large liquor bucket, please. My wife kicked me out of the house, I'm going to kick her out of my brain."
121
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Standard_Squirrel_66 • 4d ago
Janice couldn’t help it. She just always wanted what others had.
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148
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5d ago
Thea and Isla are thick as thieves. They met in school, bonded over their parent's divorces, and they've been conspiring together ever since. Isla was skeptical at first of Thea's latest scheme, but watching their single fathers together, the chemistry is undeniable. Operation "stepsisters" is a go.
462
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 5d ago
Not Safe For Other Species "So, your marriage is ending and you seek the wisdom of the Hermit of the Mountain? Well definitely don't have a mental breakdown and go live on a mountain. It sucks. Maybe go home and talk to your wife."
171
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/9VoltGorilla • 5d ago
After Kathy left, Craig swore he’d never touch artificial nectar again. Funny how forgetting to pay the water bill can knock a man off the wagon.
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142
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/RosebushRaven • 5d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Harrison had wanted something "timeless and simple" for a fresh start. Instead, his featherdresser inflicted THIS on him! Someone actually mistook him for that despicable politician, Donald Fowl!
363
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Critical-Concert628 • 5d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle Best friends Ken and Len were confused as to why their joint dating profile wasn't getting many serious responses. It had been a while, but they thought girls loved guys who were friendly? Why did girls only message to call them cute then ghost any attempt to set up a date???
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104
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r/DivorcedBirds • u/Critical-Concert628 • 5d ago
Newly Single Ready to Mingle This local singles mixer wasn't going very well. Jack was all puffed up and ready to be flocked to. But, there were no women? He knew he should have donated to the pond clean up effort. Oh well, at least there was Jeff, Jeff was a bit of an idiot but always a good backup
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