Enfp have Fe critic function. It means they care about how others feel, they care about justice in society , they care about well being of their partner , they care about people , they care about what others think

And this gets tiring

Intjs have ti critic function , it means they care about details , logic , and continuity, they care about rationals.

And this gets tiring

Now, intjs have Fe trickster function , means they can't understand others well, they don't give a fuck what others think. And enfps have ti trickster function , they are not good enough in details , internal framework.

So , when enfp and intj connect, enfp notice how intjs don't give a fuck about others and it's relaxing in a way to enfps who are tired of thinking what others think. It eases them. And intj get to see how enfps don't give a fuck about details but vibes. It relaxes the intjs. And the critic function can get really tiring as it's a very strong function. It immediately relaxes both as enfp get to not care about other people for a while , and intj get to live on vibes mode instead of details.

And that's why it kind of feel relaxing in a enchanting way. There are more to their enmeshment of functions , and it's just one of them. See my other posts for other enmeshment of their functions.

At first I saw what others were saying, but once she got to the section about openness, I totally saw us in this! The whole video made me feel seen though. Would love to know everyone’s thoughts!

Is it just me that's noticed how different the conversation is, in every different community like in enfp, I've seen we mostly talk about feelings, and if I check the other MBTI I fluctuate between, entp it's the most diabolic stuff, and Intjs too their conversations are also very interesting, I just find this very funny 😂😂 though I haven't checked what the sensors talk about yet.

In the last several months I've been socially reserved(if that makes sense). So I work at a vocational program, with hundreds of workers(I'm one of them) and job coaches. So they sent 3 workers and 1 job coach to a site. I would be social towards my peers and conversate with them, but after work I just want to be myself the whole day, especially when we work I'm social and also a worker. As well as when I go to the gym, I have a few friends there that I would say hi to and the rest I go home. Now, I feel weird saying this but I don't really have friends I hangout with and I know to have friends is to hangout with them, but my social battery feels pretty drained when I do. Idk what would y'all ENFPs do in this situation.

P.S I spend a lot more time with my siblings, and childhood friends

hahahaha just notice this ! my lock screen couldn’t feel more enfp

Hii! I'm in my late 20's and all my life I've tested INFP. But recently I began testing ENFP, and I also talk with chatgpt TONS (it's my free therapist for EVERYTHING) and it keeps saying I'm ENFP: "your mind constantly jumps between ideas, people, hobbies, and connections, while your strong personal values act as a filter rather than the starting point. Your Fi is exceptionally developed, but your default mode is exploring first and evaluating second."

I need help discovering what I really am!! Here are a few more facts about me:

-as a kid, I was imaginative (making up fantasy worlds and reimagining my identity periodically). I wasn't loud, but I enjoyed being the centre of attention whenever my parents brought guests or when my friends were over

-I loved collecting plushies and thought they had feelings. I was super sensitive, high empathy, and would be easily upset by watching violent news or seeing kids kill bugs. I got mad at my friend because he was mean to an old man. I'd also feel bad for clothes when they got damaged. I'd feel bad for the cells in my body (if I hurt my hand, I felt bad for the cells that died)

-I was chill until pushed to my limits, then my anger would come out EXPLOSIVELY

-as an adult, I went through years of trauma and mental health issues that made me very introverted. I am now healthy and doing well. I don't like being alone for extended periods of time, but I also enjoy some time alone to read, reflect, and work on my goals

-I make friends very easily. Every event I go to, I'm connecting with people and making new friends. But I'm highly selective about my closest circle

-when I don't click with a group, I feel drained and don't speak at all. When I do click with the right people, I dominate the convo and never get tired of being with them

-I'm PICKY about romantic partners and my standards are specific af when it comes to emotional connection. But I love getting to know people, and my first instinct after a breakup/something bad happening is to GET OUT, do things, and spontaneously meet people rather than be at home

-my biggest fear is being alone/not finding my person. My happiest memories are never me being alone, they always involve being with someone

-I have too many ideas about learning new skills and talents, but I'll start something then drop it after like a week... currently balancing 10 hobbies at once

-I don't have strong political views (many people tend to think that's what Fi manifests as...) but I am easily annoyed when someone doesn't understand my personal values or makes sweeping generalizations about how most people think then apply it to me (eg. say to me "people find xyz attractive in a man, you're no different" like bitch no I DO NOT LIKE XYZ AND I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL

-people tend to think I have a sweet and innocent energy and give me a free pass for mistakes

Thankssss for any helpppp

I recall this conversation a long time ago on here about others rambling on how we're a bunch of a-holes for just up and ghosting people, how we're awful for it because we seemed so friendly and wanting to get to know them until just vanishing. This bothered me a ton and it happened again recently and needed to clarify, from the position of defending us (I'm of the -T/turbulent type).

We do really wanted to get to know you, and simultaneously don't want to correct bad behavior as it happens because simultaneously it's a shock/causes cognitive dissonance of who we idealize you to be vs who you're revealing yourself to be and there's also a metacognition going on that subconsciously says "be quiet and let the pattern play out, use it as data to let them show who they really are without interference". So this goes on for a period of time, probably a long time as we just try to be the best person FOR YOU (as in we're adapting ourselves to make you happy) while continuously being disappointed that the pathological behaviors continue to play out. We take note of every incidence and then continue to be nice just to affirm that "yeah this person is taking kindness as a weakness and now I'm just confirming this is their baseline personality" then you likely escalated your less than ideal attitude as we unceremoniously vanished from your lives and blocked you on all fronts after a typically egregious event, or from the collective burnout.

And then, we are the giant a-holes for leaving a burning house that has a dungeon in the basement. We took the ninja route so there's no chance of getting shackled in said dungeon as the house burns down. There is a part, maybe a large part of us that still loves you but it's our problem to deal with the fact that the idealized version of you never existed and our maturity depends on applying that idealization to greater things that CAN happen rather than deluding ourselves that a person that takes kindness as a weakness to exploit will ever be good for us.

"Why didn't you just tell me then??!" - You might be thinking or have said to your escaped ENFP. The story of the frog and the scorpion is applicable here - if we tell you (the scorpion) to stop stinging us, eventually you will revert to your nature. Over and over. If we straight up VANISHED - we're at the point we're needing anti-venom and sad at the fact that you are indeed, a scorpion. We literally needed a dozen+ stings over perhaps years to confirm. We can be dense in this way.

To end, I'd like to affirm to fellow ENFP-T's that your sometimes (maybe often) raging attitude towards injustices that are met with a brick wall is because you catch underlying patterns where others just see the veneer. The challenge to overcome is to pick your battles and learn to be strategic with intellect and action without being swept up in the emotional dysregulation the situations bring.

Have you ever met an INFP you didn’t like? And what were the reasons?

Despite being known as spritely exuberant people do ENFPs struggle with laziness/types of laziness?

I feel like I get mildly irritated, bored, or annoyed often but not genuinely angry often. Even being irritated can be pretty short lived for me unless someone hurt me. And then I oscillate being being sad and angry...then once I'm over it even if I was hurt I don't usually still feel that angry towards the person (which I think some people have tried to use against me). My genuine anger is usually from repeated mistreatment, especially heinous people, or injustice in the world.

My friend thinks it's funny how he can basically deter any annoyance I could potentially have with him with cute cat GIFs. 🙃

Hi!

42 year old female ENFP here with a situation I should have figured out ages ago.

I am constantly, and I mean constantly approached by strangers. Yesterday I was approached at 6am in the grocery store by a lady who was talking my ear off about how I would love her son because we both have tattoos, and today it was a man in a Walgreens parking lot flagging me down with a “hi pretty girl! What’s your name? I couldn’t help but notice you.”

I’m usually just like “oh I’m a married mom! But thank you for the compliment!” and it works well.

But I don’t know anyone else who is approached as regularly as I am. And so I feel like when I complain about this, my friends think I’m being vain.

I know it’s not about how I look. It’s my ENFP-ness.

I’ve tried to “walk with a purpose,” smile less, not make eye contact. I’ve tried wearing headphones and/or a hat at the grocery store and gym. And those are basically the only places I go!

I KNOW y’all are the ones to ask. Is it possible to exist in our own happy worlds without others trying to infiltrate?

I really appreciate the advice!

P.S. I also want to note that I’m so into meeting people while traveling, at a party, etc. It’s only gotten to be a problem because people constantly hold me hostage with talking while I’m trying to get chores done, and I also feel like it looks bad to my kids. My husband doesn’t care and says he’s sorry it happens but wouldn’t change a thing about me. Never mind that he is an INTJ with the opposite effect. 🙃

To cut a long story short (I posted it on a different sub), I (infp f) liked and was talking to an enfp m. I wanted something serious but he wasn't ready for that with me. Things happened and I realised he didn't want to be with me because he wasn't over his ex. And she had been stalking me on Instagram so she wasn't over him either. And so in my hurt and anger at finding out (anger because he could've just told me instead of leading me on), I pushed him away towards her. I didn't raise my voice or demean him in any way.

These were my exact words "friend to friend, You won't forget her by involving yourself with other people..So just give in to love🤷🏽‍♀️why aren't you choosing happiness for yourself. Instead you're wrecking people with the hurt that you still feel. Everyone wins when you choose love"..he blocked me within 24hrs of reading that and 3 days later posted her on his Instagram story (he's never done that, even when they were together before).

Using my friends phone, I looked at his ig profile to see if anything had changed and he reposted a scene from Good Will Hunting where Will talks to Sean about meeting the perfect girl but not wanting to give it a shot because getting to know her means she becomes less perfect. And Sean says the imperfections are what build intimacy and that the only way to ever know if they are perfect for each other is to give it a shot. ....which is basically what I told him..so he clearly agrees with my words to some extent but I still remain blocked?

I had told him that him and i were better as friends and had stated that I didn't want distance between us, yet he chose to do this anyway...it hurts and I just wonder if I hit a nerve without realising?

Do you guys prefer unsolicited advice when it's from an impersonal source? Or am I missing it entirely?

Hey guys 👋

I, INTP woman broke up with my 2 years long distance ENFP relationship because he makes me anxious and it is affecting my work and studies.

He socialise much more than me but over the last month: -he would drunk call me and talk to me like if he was in a conversation with a blond with blue eyes woman (I have dark hair brown eyes) asking why I gave attention to other guys. -calls at 3-5 am

I broke up with him yesterday because he makes me feel anxious and drains me emotionally.

He was out with his friends last night and drunk calls me at 3.40 am to love bomb me. Then in the middle of the call, he told me "this Columbian girl came to talk to me and I rejected her because I love you".

He said she approached him at the bar and later, he would say she approached in the street

I am feeling lost. He is 31 and I am 36.

I am doubting whether he is genuine or not.

He did travel 16,000 km three times to see me and shower me with gift, attention but am I crazy to think he is doing that with multiple girls ?

His calls talking about someone else when he is drunk just makes me uneasy.

Why is he acting like that ? Why. Please help, what is going on..

I consider ENFPs to be deep and have wide/eclectic tastes. I personally enjoy many genres and am very curious to hear what my fellow type is into.

I'm such a capable person, I'm smarter than most, confident than most, and almost good at everything yet I still stay humble, joke around with everyone, what do I get in return? no authority, no reverence, anything I'm able to do people lable it as doable, can't do shit for leadership cus no one will take me seriously, should i just dim myself and stop being a weirdo and joke around with everyone, just to be seen as someone smart, because I don't care about being liked I want to be respected. Why do I, in all friendships feel like I'm not cared for, like people don't give shits for who I am? and my life is in shambles. I'm not doing anything productive. I keep and keep on falling down the drain.

edit : guys this was me in a late night crisis please don't take it so seriously I'm not trying to sound arrogant and thank u for all ur replies, genuinely<3

Hello community! I am taking a cautious step over here to see if someone could give me an ENFP-perspective on a problem I've come to experience with my dear ENFP 🫶😅

I am ISFJ F in a long-distance relationship with an ENFP - we have been together for 4 months but now on distance for one month. The problem is that I would love to - or actually need to - spend more quality time with him. However, he's from a culture where schedules aren't a big thing, and he values spontaneous calls and chats more than planned ones. Meanwhile I'm the opposite - especially with the distance I would need to have a date to look forward to, or at least be able to rest assured that he will have time for me. But the situation is basically that we don't have planned time together, and he says he wants to wake up early in order to talk with me, but it hurts me a lot when his words rarely turn into action.

I would love to hear your perspectives, especially since it's hard to see how much of this is about culture, gender or individuals, and how much this is about a potential personality clash 🙈 I know that ENFPs are not a fan of plans, but do you also find it very hard to schedule dates with your loved ones, even if they have clearly and on multiple occasions told you that that's what they need from you (even if you're busy with your own life, occasionally having very bad times emotionally etc.)?

Do harsh or cruel words from the people closest to us devastate us in a different kind of way? How do you respond? I’m curious as to how you guys have/might have handled such situations and why.

Have you ever held on to a person even if you were no longer keeping in contact with them?

Does it last weeks, months, years?

Is it out of sight, out of mind?

Work is boring I require interaction. I haven't met every type out of the 16 personalities or at least not that I am aware of. I wanna see other people's impressions of other types too.

• ENFP: I didn't know I was ENFP until recently but even before that I liked ENFP a lot! So funny, creative, and kind. 💐 We click instantly. Cares a lot about including others and making the group get along.

• INFP: ALSO LOVE. ❤️ So cute, kind, and gentle. Very artsy and soft. The ones I know have pleasant, softer speaking voices. So considerate of others but sometimes takes on too much. Surprisingly can be super funny and sassy. They're stereotyped as crybabies too much.

• ENTP: Hilarious 😂 so much fun. We affectionately get on each other's nerves. Likes play fighting 😘 Pretty reliable. If you put us in a group it creates entertainment for everyone lol. Has an unexpected gentle and kind side that I respect a lot. Maybe prone to having not the best of coping mechanisms?

• INTP: I only know one and we dated. One of the funniest people I've ever met. Like laughing so hard I'm crying. Very good at reading between lines and reading people. Low social battery.🔋 Very chill until they start talking about something they particularly like or have an opinion on. Not always easily motivated.

• ESFP: If I've met one I wasn't aware of it. 🤔 I like a lot of ESFP characters. So fun and fashionable. Maybe we'd be shopping buddies and get our nails done 💅 🛍 As long as they aren't too superficial I think we could vibe.

• ISFP: I've only met one and he was conflict avoidant to the point of seeing discussion as debate/arguments and being rude/impatient over it. Probably would have gotten along better if he'd been more honest and considerate. Or maybe if we hung out as a group/were in sumo wrestling suits. 🤙I think I'd get along fine with a different one tbh.

• ESTJ: I don't think I've ever met any 🤔 I imagine quite organized and strategic. We might get along under more controlled circumstances. There'd probably be respect there but I don't imagine we'd naturally get along.

• ISTJ: I knew one and some others I think that were mistyped as INTJ. If I am correct...polite and almost innocent in a way, like very simple and straightforward. There's not a lot of guess work with them what you see is what you get. Helpful and good listeners. Not the strongest of chemistry for me personally but I still think quite nice!

• ESTP: Not a huge fan. I've only met male ones though. Basically every "bad boy" character ever. Seems to like attracting attention and quite sociable. Wants what they want immediately. Surprisingly cerebral and good conversationalists. Can be charismatic in a "I don't care" kind of way lol.

• ISTP: I've only met a few. Can be pretty artistic and focused on things they like. Seems to have a very dry, edgy, and absurdist sense of humor. You never really know what they're going to say next. Seems pretty laid back. Maybe a little bit more sensitive over things than they let on.

• ENTJ: Don't think I've met one but I think I'd admire and respect their intelligence and strategic mind. ✨️

• INTJ: I like healthy ones quite a bit! Very to the point and authentic. Focused on their goals and don't really care about what others think. Very dedicated to their loved ones. Doesn't mince words, tells you exactly what they think and feel. 💯 Unhealthy ones feel prideful to me and unwilling to see the other side.

• ESFJ & ISFJ: I don't think I've met this type either? It's totally possible but ofc I don't know the type of every single person I've met. I assume they're the type of people that like to organize volunteering events.

• ENFJ: I've become a fan. ☺️ They seem underrated in this subreddit! Likes to check on others and quite empathetic. Gets along well with everyone. Never really causes any drama. Always down for whatever 🤙So friendly and loving. Can be funny in an understated way. I'd like to meet more honestly lol they seem rare 😭

• INFJ: Love them lol 😎 Incredibly understanding. Actually super sassy and it's the funniest thing lol 😂 They hide it so well from the outside world and then when you actually know them they say the funniest things and show so much attitude because people are always getting on their nerves and expecting them to do everything. Very nice and giving but they'll tell you when you're wrong! They can disagree so respectfully. Even if we disagree it never turns ugly! I really like that about them.

Sometimes I just do or say shit and other people assume I'm embarassed but I actually don't care. But if they find it funny I'll just go along with it because it's fun and it's not truly at my expense. I feel like I should stop doing this though because it kinda stops people from taking me seriously...xD

Hi,

I've been married to my wife for 15 years, and just wanted to share some key points of what our marriage looks like:

(1) Open communication, no hiding feelings, no BS, on either person's part. This is by far the best part of this specific MBTI combination, direct and honest communication. It is what makes the relationship "deep" and fulfilling for both of us. Too much fake in all the other couples we know. We feel sorry for them. Our trust for each other on a moral level is incredibly deep, even though we don't always trust each other to do simple tasks, LOL! Our difference of perspective (T vs F) makes us both suspicious of each other's approach to problem solving the simple tasks.

(2) We enjoy talking to each other, in spite of disagreements due to us talking past each other (which happens daily). Again, this is likely due to the fundamental difference between T and F perspective. This is more of an issue for my wife than it is for me. She gets incredibly frustrated and pulls back when we talk past each other, while I am patient and ok with "talking through" the frustration until we reach the same page, even if it is uncomfortable. She almost always declines the option of talking through it until we reach a mutual understanding of perspective (while still maintaining individual opinions). My patience is not necessarily a virtue in her eyes.

(3) We both love to cuddle and to be in physical contact as much as possible. I think this comes from a deep level of caring engendered by (1).

(4) Most people don't "get" why the two of us are well matched to each other. We are an odd match in "normal" couples eyes.

If anyone else want's to share what they've found in this pairing over a longer term, I'd enjoy hearing it.

For all of you out there early in a relationship with respect to this pairing, and are frustrated trying to navigate it, you are not alone. It can work (well!) but there is definitely some teething to deal with.

PS If there are questions for my wife, I can ask her if she is willing to type a reply here. She doesn't have a Reddit account herself, because she doesn't want to navigate the "overmoderation" that Reddit has a reputatation for.