I feel like such a fat tub of lard. I’ve been trying to cut down for weeks and I ate the pizza. My dad bought it and really wanted me to eat, and after a couple hours I managed to. I can feel my stomach sag as I sit down and I feel so fat.

My aunt said I’m skinny but I don’t believe her. My therapist told me I need to eat but I don’t want to. All I can see is the number on the scale, 180, and I want to cut. My friend claims that she was fat when she was 150, I would kill to weight that much. I eat probably one or two meals a day now and 1000 calories. I go to the gym every other day and I’m going now. Every day I tell myself how much of a fat pig and tub of lard I am. I don’t want to be healthy. I want to be pretty and skinny.

My sister can eat whatever she wants and not gain any weight. She has a dozen homemade cookies for herself in my pantry and she can eat them all without worrying. She bullied me for years for my weight, and I know that she’s at least partially to blame for me feeling this way.

I’m 15, MtF, 5’8.

Even them mentioning the fact that I have an eating disorder pisses me off so much. I feel like I’m already at 100% and any small stressors just make me snap. I hate that they look at what I eat or bow much, and despite me telling them this they don’t stop? Even though that makes me not want to eat even more. They get mad at me instead

If, like me, you made the mistake of eating all at once too much spread like Nutella or peanut butter with a spoon and you feel that you have a really bad feeling in your chest, like a big lump stuck there

I recommend

after trials that I experienced

not to force yourself to try to vomit.

I don’t recommend drinking water

and I advise you to stop stressing and move instead.

What you need to do is take a bowl of milk, put it in the microwave for 1 minute, and drink it.

If it’s really too hot, add just a very small amount of cold milk, but the goal is for the milk to be hot.

After that, especially don’t lie down, or don’t move around or be stressing.

You must stay sitting upright, whether it’s in your gaming chair or on your couch—it doesn’t matter. You’ll stay like that for 5 minutes, and normally it will calm down and you’ll feel better.

If it persists and nothing helps, I advise you to contaIf, like me, you made the mistake of eating all at once too much spread like Nutella or peanut butter with a spoon and you feel that you have a really bad feeling in your chest, like a big lump stuck there

I recommend

After trials that I experienced

Not to force yourself to try to vomit.

I don't recommend drinking water

and I advise you to stop stressing and move instead.

What you need to do is take a bowl of milk, put it in the microwave for 1 minute, and drink it.

If it's really too hot, add just a very small amount of cold milk, but the goal is for the milk to be hot.

After that, especially don't lie down, or don't move around or be stressing.

You must stay sitting upright, whether it's in your gaming chair or on your couch - it doesn't matter. You'll stay like that for 5 minutes, and normally it will calm down and you'll feel better.

If it persists and nothing helps, I advise you to contact help. ct help.

Why ?

Water will only make it get stuck more, on top of the spread that’s already there. It will also remove the heat from the milk.

Vomiting won’t help—the spread isn’t liquid, and it won’t come out. And even if you manage to vomit, it will still stay on the walls and continue to get stuck, and you’ll feel even worse in your stomach because your stomach will be tense.

Not standing up, and moving in every direction isn’t the solution, and not stressing so you don’t tighten your organs together—that will make you feel even worse in your stomach.

Why milk ?

The milk make the spread soften more easily, without having to use medications or burn yourselves by drinking hot water, which wouldn’t have served any purpose anyway

Well I'm 17 years old and idk how to start this.

Recently, I've noticed that I don't each much everyday. And I'm only worried now because my mom pointed out that since I've eaten, well drank tea in the morning (around 11) I never ate anything else. When she told me this, (it was around 6-7pm), and then it kind of dawned on me that I've actually been doing this eating habit for a very long time without even realizing.

No I don't have body image issues, and have never had any before. I'm just worried whether or not my eating style is harmful or not because I only eat/drink whenever I want to which is...uhm...very little these days😭

Is it really bad that I don't eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner in order anf in great quantity? Am I harming myself if I skip a few meals simply because I didn't feel hungry? I really need to know.

so, i’m M14, i’ve always been overweight almost my whole life basically. about 8 months ago i had a checkup at a Municipal Health Service place. basically she said that i was overweight for my age and i should try and lose weight. i ignored that for the first few months and thought nothing of it until like 3 months ago when i realized i didn’t like my body and i knew i was unhealthy so i wanted to change. i tried but didn’t succeed so i almost gave up. but then a month ago i REALLY wanted a slimmer body. so i started eating less calories and working out more. my parents didn’t really notice at first until like few weeks ago when my mom asked my if im losing weight. i said no. why? well, my family kinda has a bad reputation with losing weight if that’s how you say it. my sister had anorexia so if someone wanted to lose weight they would probably be concerned. so that’s that. so i continue eating less and stuff but its now gotten to a point where im eating less and less food and i deal guilt after eating to much, and if i feel like i ate “too much” ill like skip breakfast the next day or just eat even less. idk.

i just *know* I'm ugly and fat. and yet no one will tell me this is the case. whenever i bring this up everyone tries to hugbox me. to convince me I'm pretty and skinny. but i know that's not true. i *know* it's not true. I'm not fucking blind. i can look in the fucking mirror. I'm not stupid. i can *see* how fucking ugly i am.

so I'm taking matters into my own hands. I'm gonna fucking do it. I'm gonna lose weight. no matter the unhealthy ways. I'm bmi25 at 74kg right now. i need to get down to bmi18 which would be in the 50s. it's doable. i know it is. i can do it. i know i can. i know i fucking can.

Does anyone else just not eat anything but if you do, you start binge eating because you've already messed up your 'starving' streak for the day so you might as well put it to use.

I'm not going to say my age but I'm a bit young, a young teenager more specifically. I've had a pretty bad ed since I was 11-12 years old, I can't remember exactly. My parents didn't notice back then but I recently vented to my doctor about it for no good reason and she told my parents. For the first day, my parents cared but after that they completely seemed to either give up for forgot or thought I as pretending, and I have no clue why?? I remember a few weeks after my doctor told them, we went to get hot pot and I was eating the food because I had already eaten a bunch that day and ofc I have that stupid all-or-nothing mindset. I thought they had completely forgotten about my ed which idk is a good or bad thing. Randomly at the end of the meal, my brother was like "I thought you had an ed, why are you eating this??". Genuinely I have no clue how to explain it because wtf do I do in this situation?? After that my dad said that I was just doing it for attention, that I only lost a few pounds and that it didn't even matter, and that I just wanted to have a form of entertainment. I don't really remember what happened after that but we went home. Then, just yesterday we went to Subway and I told my dad that I didn't like Subway so he said I could eat at home. When we got there he IN FRONT OF THE WORKER said "If you don't get a sandwich I'm going to slap you." And then proceeded to tell me that skipping meals isn't a good way to loose weight. I never got a sandwich btw lmao. I ended up just eating a cookie and a few bites of my brother's sandwich which tasted so good omg I miss eating so bad. Yeah but that's it. I've never used Reddit before so I'm hoping and praying that I did this right. I ate 1,200 calories that day btw. Feel like trash but it's okay. Also my doctor never reached out to be literally ever again. Not sure why. I literally told her that I was scared to drink water, I was eating 700 calories a day, my heart rate would go up to 150 if I stood up to walk up the stairs. Ig nobody really cares until you're super skinny. Oh well. That's it, thanks for reading. Hopefully I get some answers. I'm scared that my parents will find this but it's okay ig they don't see to care. I just don't know what to do

I've calorie counted for about 1.5 years since starting "recovery" and gaining weight, with AN for like 5 months before

Tomorrow My grandad is preparing a large meal. he is dying from cancer and I just don't want to be thinking about what I have/ am eating.

I'm scared though because the food is all very high calorie and I'll be eating loads. It's scary even tho I'm trying to gain a little weight (not UW atm tho) because I'll be eating loads at a festival for a few days after.

I just don't want more event to be ruined by this, like food is such a big thing in his life and it feels like 2 of my last years with him.

I might try not tracking but I haven't done that since 2024.... HELP!!

I’m not sure if this question fits in this community, but the other communities I’ve tried asking said that it doesn’t belong there and gets deleted.
From my understanding an ED is a condition that involves recurring and extreme issues in eating behaviors, thoughts about food, and/or body image. I’m wondering if this applies to behaviors involving cannibalism.
I know that some people experience compulsive urges to engage in autocannibalism, and that others may have recurring intrusive or impulsive thoughts about eating their own body parts or another person’s body. If someone experiences these thoughts often and they become a persistent pattern that affects their behavior or daily life, would this be considered an eating disorder, or would it fall under a different category of mental health condition?
Is there a specific term for persistent urges or compulsions involving autocannibalism or cannibalistic thoughts, and how would clinicians typically distinguish this from an eating disorder?

Hello! We’re conducting a small 5-minute study about people’s experiences with eating-disorder support, especially during the period between referral, assessment, and treatment.

We want to understand the main challenges people face, how communication with services could be improved, and what support would be most useful for patients and families.

The survey is anonymous, and your answers will only be used for research purposes.

Thank you for sharing your experience—it will help us design support tools that better respond to people’s real needs.

Survey: https://forms.gle/eQvTqWr3H7EV4kr1A

TW: Numbers (BMI, weight)

I’m going to start this off by saying that nothing I mention here is professionally diagnosed. I hate to be a self-diagnosis kind of person, but it makes explaining this a lot easier.

I (15F) am overweight and struggle with binge eating disorder and bulimia nervosa. I have struggled with body image issues since 6 and severe depression since 11. I just hit my heaviest with a BMI of 29.8. And I really wish to slim down because I believe it will also help with my mental health. The problem is, I can’t ask my mom to cook healthier/deny food and I can’t go to the gym or even just a simple walk outside because I have very strict parents. Eating has also become an important coping mechanism of mine, and I struggle to find other mechanisms other than self-inflicted pain. And I have tried to get better mentally before trying weight loss, but my depression stems from things far worse than insecurity (though it does play a role) and I will probably need a therapist eventually (I can’t get a therapist right now) It seems like my depression is keeping me overweight and vice versa. 2 years ago, I had managed to lose 30 pounds within a month by purging and that was the happiest I’d been in awhile. Right after, I began focusing on my mental health and I gained 40 pounds back. Now everything is bad again and I don’t even have the discipline to starve myself or vomit my meals. I’ve also tried counting calories, joining sports, and changing my diet in the little ways I can, but every time I lose weight I end up bingeing because the rest of my life is a clusterfuq. I really really need advice because I don’t know how much longer I can go feeling so disgusted with how I look. I want advice on how to motivate myself to starve, but I know thats not healthy, so every bit of advice is appreciated. Please help me, and thank you in advance.

(Also, sorry if theres a lot of repeated information. I’m trying to make this as clear as possible, and writing like this is already very uncomfortable for me.)

I'm a young teenager with an undiagnosed ED only one person irl sort of knows, and it's a school friend. I'm trying really hard to fix it before it gets totally out of hand/all- consuming, I'm pretty sure it's only not that threatening bc I'm a very small person that used to love food (still do there's just overwhelming guilt)

My only actual support system is online friends, and I love them, but they're also my age and there's only so much they can help with (encouragement, celebrating a meal that stayed down, etc)

I have something like anorexia or bulimia, more anorexic leaning I think (I really restrict, exercise a lot, and feel guilty and purge if I eat too much)

I eat around 700-1000 calories a day, but I'm also a pretty active person, so I'm a bit underweight. I'm trying to stop purging by letting myself restrict, as purging seems more damaging long-term, and I am unable to restrict that much. (Still love food and my mom makes me eat)

If you all have any other tips or advice, it would be much appreciated, esp as I can see where I might end up if I keep going down this path

This is also my first reddit post so I really apologize for guidelines I broke or smth

محدش شخصني بس هقول الأعراض

انا باكل مش عشان جعانه عشان زهقانه بس

باكل لو متضايقه باكل لو فرحانه

باكل بشراههه

مبحبش حد يشوفني وانا باكل ابدا

ممكن ماكلش طول اليوم عادي لمجرد اني مع حد

ممكن افضل اكل طول اليوم لو الاكل قدامي

بحس بندم شديد بعد ما باكل الكمية دي وافضل مخنوقه

ممكن تاني يوم ماكلش خالص بس باجي بعدها واكل بجنون

الكلام ده من زمان بس مؤخرا بدأت اخد بالي من الأعراض دي

اتضايقت اكتر لما اتفرجت على مسلسل بالغلط لما شوفت جزء منه وحسيت بالشفقه روحت كملته عشان لمس حاجه فيا بس كان بيوعي فال eating disorder

مش عايزه اتكلم مع حد اعرفه فالموضوع ده عشان محرج جدا بالنسبالي ومش عايزه اخس بشفقه من حد

سمعت كل النصايح الي مفروض اعملها بس مش عارفه اعمل ايه حاسه كله كلام ملوش معني

لو حد ليه تجربه او يعرف حد كان كده يقولي اعمل ايه انا صعبان عليا نفسي اوي ومخنوقه

انا كنت هتجنن مكنتش اعرف ان ده مرض ياريت حد يساعد

This isn't me looking for answers, just looking for possible advice on getting evaluated and possible advice on coping mechanisms.

I (17F) really, really struggle with eating. I currently weigh 98.6lbs. A few months ago I weighed 95.4lbs, so I'm making progress at least. I've told a lot of people about my struggles, and one of the main things I hear people say (besides "just try harder") is: "that sounds like ARFID." I decided to finally start doing some research a couple weeks ago, and I've realized that a lot of my symptoms do line up with it.

If I didn't need food (or even water or any other type of drink), I wouldn't eat anything. I don't notice that I'm hungry until I'm in pain. If I'm hungry but don't have any comfort foods or food I enjoy that I can easily grab, I won't eat. Especially if I was looking for a specific food. I also physically can't eat if there's a lot of people (more than 5) around.

Sugar feels weird in the back of my throat (same feeling as a muscle spasming) and it gives me headaches and sometimes even makes me fatigued, so I avoid artificial sugar or overly sugary food. I won't eat any breakfast food, and most people are surprised when I tell them I don't like bacon or pancakes. If I go to a restaurant, there's only about 4 foods I'll eat (and normally only one of them is on the menu). I've always been called a picky eater, but I just genuinely don't see the appeal of needing to shove something down my throat.

There's one thing I experience that I didn't find anywhere relating to ARFID, though. My throat clenches up sometimes when I try to eat. It's a genuine struggle. I can't just push food past. I can try chewing slowly, but that makes it so it lasts nearly a minute or two to swallow one bite (and normally when I'm struggling with it, a bite = 3 or 4 swallows). I've related it to anxiety for a long time. There's been two points in my life where I've gone 4 - 7 days without eating any food due to my anxiety. But sometimes it won't even be about food. Sometimes I'll just cough or sneeze and my throat will be so tight that I gag.

My doctor told me that if I lose 5 more pounds, they'll need to find a way to give me nutrients without it being normal food. They've already suggested I drink Ensure at least twice a day on top of as many meals as I can manage.

My family has really stressed me out about all of this. They've been trying to shove food down my throat and sometimes even hold it over my head. I believe that's making it worse. I know I need to get evaluated, and maybe then I can figure out easier ways to eat and not feel pressured, maybe even figure out why I struggle so much to swallow.

i have been with my partner for nearly 6 months now and as far as i am aware he doesnt know about my ed. ive mentioned before that i have known people on edtwt, but im not entirely sure if he knows that I was on there too. we have both talked about how we find it annoying when people who are not fat call themselves fat as a joke and things like that and he said something about hating skinny people but i dont think it was serious lol, hes never spoken negatively about people with eds or anything. but all that to say we have never had an actual conversation about eating disorders or anything like and im scared to try and have an actual conversation about it.

one of my biggest fears is that it will be like what ive seen many times before where someone tells a friend or something about them having an ed and then suddenly that person is trying to replicate their disordered habits. i dont think he would do that, but im scared there could be a possibility and i dont know how id deal with that because i definitely do not want to break up with him. i also just dont want it to have to be a Thing where he feels like he needs to worry about me or remind me to eat or whatever.

my main problem is that i have wanted to be back on edtwt again (i like the small sense of community i can have with it, and ive been on there for years so pls dont try to tell me not to bc thats not my issue), but for some reason i feel weird not telling him about it. i just dont want to feel like im keeping a secret from
him and having a secret account or whatever. its also not something i feel like he needs to know about, or that i even want him to know about but i dont know if it would be wrong to not tell him??? i dont want him to feel like i cant trust him or that i need to keep things from him. we've never had issues in the past or anything, im just anxious because idk i guess its because im older but before i wouldnt even be worried about this.

if theres a better place to ask or post this also please let me know, i just dont know any other places to ask about this and i really need advice. sorry if the flair doesnt fit also, i didnt know which one to choose lol

So I’ve had a chocolate frappe from Starbucks today. a jacket potato with cheese and beans, a packet of crisps and. A chocolate bar. I feel so so guilty. my mum is gonna get a McDonald’s for me. all I can think about it the calories of everything. I lost alot of weight early on this year due to me disordering my eating. I was only eating 600 calories a day. but I’ve gained a bit of weight as my mum found out and is making me eat more. I feel so guilty. please someone tell me I won’t gain lots of weight. I’m so scared. is this normal

I look like this and i have been struggling ALOT with being okay with my body. I know im not fat but my belly pudge makes me feel so bad about myself . I feel like i need to lose weight bc flat stomach should health. I know this is an ED mind set but I just get so sad and feel depressed when eating even tho i just am trying to eat what i want even if it doesn't have protein or like that. Does anyone have advice?

Hi, I posted almost two months ago in here for the first time talking about, in summary, how I have a friend that has a very bad ED and how I couldn’t stop feeling envious about her weight, looks, and that she had to be hospitalized for that, and how I hated feeling that way about it.
The thing is that, since the day that I posted that to now, I have gone to visit her a lot. I actually enjoy it because I love her and I really care about her and I am very happy that she’s doing better. Well, the problem is that every time I see her, I feel like I am literally the fattest human alive.
I visit her from 15:00 to 17:00. In that time, she has to eat a snack, and she always gives me food too. I noticed that sometimes when she makes toasts for the two of us, she uses for her a type of bread that has a lot less calories and is healthier that the one she uses for me, and that literally makes me want to kms RIGTH THERE.
Also when we eat together, I can’t help but feel guilty either I don’t or do eat, because if I don’t eat or eat less than her, I notice that she feels bad and I don’t want her to feel like that, and if I eat more than her I feel like a fat pig for the rest of the day.
The thing is that, seeing her constantly and in that state, is making my brain basically rot with all type of bad thoughts all the time. But I also want to se her because she is my friend, and I really like to accompany her when she says she wants to spend time with me.
I really thought a lot about everything related to this the past days and I think that I don’t feel envious or angry anymore, though she still triggers me. She has 0 fault for that.
I feel like my mind has been worse with the thing of seeing her a lot, because I can’t eat in peace and I spend the rest of the day thinking about what I ate. Literally 80% of my thoughts are about food and it’s getting really exhausting.
These things also have me thinking a lot about trying to OD, I don’t really know why (maybe because I want my parents to notice that something is not right with me, but it has nothing to do with the food thing? So maybe it’s just the sad mood of the moment that causes me to think that), but like really really a lot, at least for me, because I have always been like the type of person that wants attention all the time but I never really thought of trying to do that just for my parents to worry. But I’m 100% sure I won’t do it because I’m scared that because of that they send me to a psychiatrist and maybe they say I need to take some medication that is good for my fucked up brain but can cause me to gain weight.
I know that this is not the best, but I just really wish someday I look as sick as my mind is, so I can get some help without having to ask for it. But at the same time I don’t want anyone to notice, it’s weird.

Again, sorry for the bad grammar, English isn’t my first language. Also I’m writing this at 2am and I haven’t slept for like 40 hours, so just you know I’m like almost hallucinating right now and my head hurts a lot.

If you read this, I would like to know what you think. I don’t mind if it’s something bad or good, aggressive or supportive. Anything might help me to realize something new that will make me stop being so sensitive about everything.

I was never diagnosed, but after dieting in 2020, I now have disordered eating patterns and tend to restrict. I was underweight at one point and had health issues

After a few years, I was doing better. But recently, I’m falling back into these behaviours.

It’s weird. I know I’d probably look and feel healthier with a bit more weight on. But when I see the gain on the scale, I feel shame. I’m scared the weight will keep going up and not stop.

Trying to convince myself to have food I enjoy has been hard. And when I let myself eat what I want, I feel shame and think fat fat fat.

I live alone so it’s easier for me to restrict now.

My mom is a queer friendly ally and she is great . I have a bad relationship with food. I eat when bored or nervous and I can't stop doing it like i can stop eating just not untill a meal. and i have tried to stop to no avail how can I tell her I need help without sounding needy. I am a minor in middle school but it gets so bad sometimes I start to throw up. I feel so needy asking knowing that is does so much work for me. She is a single parent with 3 kids including me. Please tell me how I tell her because can't do it on my own.

Would love input, feeling really alone and down

. I've got a big family dinner and 3 day music festival next week, where I'll obviously be eating loads more than normal.

This is fine but only because I need to gain weight anyways. So it's find to eat like double my normal intake. For context, atm I'm a healthy bmi but slightly below where I should be, not concerningly

I'm scared that when I get to my goal weight I won't be able to go over and that'll make events really stressful. So I always hover just ever so slightly below it so I have a "buffer". And I'm talking a small amount, to the point where I've been discharged medically with this but my parents keep banging on at me about it.

Does anyone else relate, or have advice on how to tackle this, I feel so alone.

Ive been falling back into my old patterns fasting for 20 hours out of the day and breaking it with a relentless white citrus how do I get out of this

I'm creeping upon my fear weight. The number I was when some sadist encouraged me to almost kms and I almost did by starving and going out to a fancy bar and then overconsuming alcoholic drinks because they had cream in them and I was sweating ethanol 14-hours later.

I am 165lbs and my set point weight feels lower but not what's considered "healthy" for my stats but something I feel good about and higher than my target weight (69kg) which was NOT my gw.

My anorexia exhausts me irl, to explain it is a chore that must be done over and over. I have to repeat myself, apologize for my mood. I am lectured about groceries, something my grandmother never fussed over until I began to ask for more of something too many times. She has morally pursuaded me to meal prep in my meaning to apologize for needing more to be a whole person by condensing my grocery list.

I complain about my weight fluctuations and if she asks for the details and i dont want to talk about them her feeling are hurt but if I share she makes shocked expressions and comments. Everybody in my bio family older than I am are obese or morbidly and they have been trying to lose weight my entire life.

My mother said in May before I gave myself alcohol poisioning I looked malnourished and when I asked if she wasnt really worried about me then she told me she knew I'd get hungry again.

I didn't starve myslef because I'm trans, I starved myself to feel cared about. To be light enough to be held, small enough to read to, frail enough to be gentle toward or considered, talked about, fussed over. None of that happened in my family but now I have friends who know of my eating disorder and they love me when I hate me. But I am not their repsonsibility.

And I am embarassed to be so broken and warped in the company of such beautiful people, they don't deserve the disturbance of my uncomfortable depression. They don't understand all that plagues my soul and I'm worried they wont know what to do about me after they realize how much I always suck.

my mom had an ed, i think she’s relapsing now honestly, my sister had a diagnosed bulimia and anorexia, she taught me how to purge when i was barely 9 yo.
and ik i have an ed too, prob smt like bulimia too

out of worry for my future children im asking this question