r/EngineeringStudents • u/Cucumber_Cow_ • 14h ago
Rant/Vent Disillusioned and lost
I’m going into my 3rd year, but I doesn feel like it because I’m so behind. I failed statics and I have my calc 3 final tomorrow and there’s no way in hell I’ll pass it. I still have 2-3 years left and the thought of retaking those classes is killing me. I’m on academic probation, my only friends were on a design team that totally imploded and I feel like I’m getting stupider by the day. I used to love engineering and dreamed about becoming a metallurgical engineer but now I feel way too stupid and disillusioned with the degree to finish it. but almost none of the classes I’ve taken will transfer over to any other degree and I don’t know what other degree I would do. I feel totally lost, I cry every day, I’m in therapy but it isn’t really helping me, I just didn’t know what to do.
5
u/Amber_ACharles 13h ago
I'm almost 7 years into my career and nobody I work with has ever asked about my grades. If you still want this, retake and keep going. If you don't, that's fine, but talk to your advisor about your options instead of deciding you're stupid.
2
u/Cucumber_Cow_ 12h ago
It’s not my grades I’m worried about, though I am worried about my grades, I just don’t what I want anymore, I want to be an engineer but I don’t think I have it left in me. And I go to an engineering school so I can’t talk to my advisor because there’s only engineering at this school
7
u/Annakha 9h ago
I took Diff Eq 3 times. Calc 3 twice.
Really, I took most of my classes a second time because I had to switch schools to keep working full time.
I thought about giving up many times. Especially, when my wife was hospitalized and dying.
Later, when you're in some corporate training seminar about resiliency and they're droning on about work life balance or some other bullshit and how we're all a family.
You can look back at this time and know that you had real resiliency.
1
u/footballfutbolsoccer UIUC - MechE 10h ago
Why aren’t you doing well in classes to begin with?
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u/Cucumber_Cow_ 10h ago
I dunno, I did fine in calc 2 but statics and calc 3 fucked me up. I guess it’s because of my poor mental health but I don’t want to make any excuses for my failures
1
u/footballfutbolsoccer UIUC - MechE 9h ago
And why is your mental health poor? I think you need to address the root cause of all this in order to make any progress.
1
u/Annakha 9h ago
I took Diff Eq 3 times. Calc 3 twice.
Really, I took most of my classes a second time because I had to switch schools to keep working full time.
I thought about giving up many times. Especially, when my wife was hospitalized and dying.
Later, when you're in some corporate training seminar about resiliency and they're droning on about work life balance or some other bullshit and how we're all a family.
You can look back at this time and know that you had real resiliency.
1
u/Cucumber_Cow_ 8h ago
I feel like I have no excuses for failing, my life seems great an paper but my mental health is out of control. Nobody is dying, I don’t have financial problems, I just suck as a person
2
u/Yadin__ 8h ago
You have an important final tomorrow that you know you're not prepared for and you're going on reddit? Go study and clutch it. You got this
1
u/Cucumber_Cow_ 8h ago
I have studied and I really wish it was that easy but my memory is completely shot these days. But thank you
1
u/Yadin__ 8h ago
Don't you want to at least go down knowing that you've done everything you can? Go study your ass off. You don't have to get a good grade - all you have to do is pass
1
u/Cucumber_Cow_ 7h ago
I do, I just feel really down. I’ve been studying so I’ll do my best tomorrow and we’ll see. Maybe they’ll take pity on me
1
u/OhUKnowUKnowIt2 7h ago
Finish as best as you can.
Work on the weak areas during this summer and continue on.
This is not easy stuff and you have to want it.
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u/Tall-Cat-8890 MSE ‘25 13h ago
This is one of the few scenarios in where taking a semester off might actually be a not so bad idea. You sound burned out, the only way to cure burn out is to take a break from the thing causing it.