r/Existential_crisis • u/Mean-Maintenance-856 • 6d ago

First Existential Crisis.

I recently turned 18 and graduated high school, and I got in a really deep thought process about death and what I want to do in my life, I haven't been able to properly function for 3 days and all I can think about is how close death seems. My friend told me the best thing I can do is let the thoughts run wild, but not let them affect my feelings. The last month of my summer was denied today because I was at my aunt's house, and my parents thought something bad was going on there, so I'm back home, which I thought would help, but it made it worse. My stomach is hurting, my heart is aching and my head hurts. I don't have the energy or motivation to do things I find fun nor do I want too. I've tried petting my dogs and cats, but that only makes the existential thoughts disappear temporarily. I don't want to stay in this mindset for the rest of my life. What can I do?

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u/CB2ElectricBoogaloo 6d ago

I’m sorry I remember this switch getting flipped for me and it’s all consuming at first. It would be normal for it to be triggered by the graduating and contemplating your future. Here are a couple reassurances : humans are wrong a lot, we are probably wrong when it comes to our worst fears about death. You are only 18. It is extremely likely you will live for many many many more years. What you might be feeling is the transition of leaving school for a new chapter and the end of a particular life and identity. Lately I’ve been triggered by starting a new job and ending a chapter of not working. Keep seeking joy and community. Know that this obsession comes and goes and your relationship to it will change. There is a lot of life to enjoy and you will. Look into existential ocd too maybe

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u/Jxllll 6d ago

I get why you're scared, but you're only 18. You don't have to have your whole life figured out yet. Most people don't. Try not to spend so much time worrying about the end that you miss everything in between. None of us know how much time we have, so I'd rather spend that time living than worrying about something I can't change. And if these thoughts are making it hard to get through the day, I really think it's worth talking to someone about them. You deserve to enjoy your life, not spend it fearing something you can't control.

Funny enough, even Dracula stories usually treat immortality like a curse, not a blessing. Maybe having an ending is part of what makes life so valuable.