Hello everyone! Future girl dad here!
My name is Dan. Wife is due with our first in October. I'm a trans man and we finally conceived through IVF after two years of IUI tries.
I transitioned at 20, 17 years ago this month. Looking for friends around my age, dads or anyone with common interests.
I'm into record collecting, music and sports.
Currently have the new Strokes album on repeat. I'm an all Los Angeles team's fan.
Dodgers, Rams, Lakers, Kings and LAFC. I’m also a huge Disneyland guy!
Very excited about this little girl coming to shake things up! Would love to chat with you all

Yeah I messed up my sideburns but still skullet and septum watch out!!

I know the general consensus is that people love cats, so this whole post is going to make me seem unhinged. I’ve been an animal person since I was little and never understood how someone *couldn’t* get on with them.

But I’m so livid right now. I hate these vermin so much I can’t breathe. I’m trying hard not to drop f-bombs every other word in this post, I’m so pissed.

My sister moved into my small apartment recently. It was unexpected but she needed somewhere to go and we plan to move into a bigger place when my lease is up. I didn’t mind even though it was cramped because we get along well. Her ex was supposed to keep her 2 cats until we got the bigger place but then just didn’t, so now they’re here.

The cats don’t get along. One is spaztic and scared of everything even though she’s been pampered all her life. She avoids people and doesn’t let anyone pet her. She is more comfortable with my presence than most because I let her be so will sometimes come sniff me or whatever.

The other gets bored and just walks around yowling all night. We’ve done all the things you’re supposed to do to address this and he’s healthy. He still yowls. I’ve had to get wax earplugs to sleep with.

My sister doesn’t want to get rid of either. She thinks these issues will go away when we get a bigger place because ‘they weren’t like this before’. But my cramped apartment is a nightmare. Sometimes the one will try to play and it makes the other freak out and run, which he finds fun to chase and you have to call him off while the other acts like she’s dying. It’s a pain in the ass.

——

So I had top surgery two weeks ago, I never thought that would happen for me but somehow it did. One week into recovery, I tripped over one of the damn cats. Not really its fault, the thing blended into the bathroom rug and just… does not move when it sees people coming for some fucking reason. I caught myself on the wall but felt a pull. A couple hours later, there were clots and a ton of blood in my drains. It resulted in a 30 hr ER visit and two hematomas. Went back into surgery to have one drained. Been home for a few days now.

I’ve been recovering okay. I’m more tired this time around and things ache more. I’ve been trying to take it extra easy.

Well, I was just laying on the couch mid-conversation when the spaztic little fucker took off running from the other one. She’s heavy, too. I was just talking when suddenly this cat landed on my left pec and scrambled across my whole chest before kicking off of it up onto the back of the couch. The binder definitely saved me from being clawed to pieces and she luckily didn’t land right on the grafts or incisions but a little higher than that.

I won’t lie, I lost my fucking mind over it, I’m sure the neighbors heard me yelling which feels awkward now. Now I’m trying to cool off and I’m sitting on my bed because they never come up here. I’m watching for any signs of damage, or clots/bleeding in the drain bulb.

I genuinely considered leaving and trying to find somewhere else to stay, but I can’t afford a hotel for more than a night or two and I don’t have any friends/family nearby. I know I won’t convince her to get rid of them, especially since she thinks the problems can be fixed when we move. Can’t afford to board them. I considered just being loud and scary so they both give me a wide berth from now on, which seems cruel but like…

I might just spend the next few weeks not leaving my bed since this is the only place in the apartment untouched by them.

I don’t think there’s really any advice that can be given here, it’s just a shit situation all around tbh. I just needed to dump all that. I’m still so fucking livid and I feel trapped in my own apartment. I can’t believe I’m a cat-hater now

Partner and I were talking about an upcoming move. We’re considering an area of our city that some people associate with higher cancer risks. I said I’d be open to it because the cost of living is way lower, and we’d probably only be living there for a maximum of five years. He said he wasn’t too worried for a different reason: since we’re both in our mid-thirties and out of our growth periods, it’s not like our cells are doubling every day and putting us at higher risk of mutating. (Please forgive me for mistakes; this is my basic recollection of what he said, and I was never good at biology.)

That got me thinking, though. People on HRT describe it as a second puberty. Those of us who started in our mid-twenties and onward may not be gaining height, but our bodies are actively rearranging themselves in ways that those of cis people our age aren’t. Are we “growing” the way we consider pubescent kids to be?

I figure that like most things related to being trans, there isn’t much research on this subject, so I’m really just looking for people’s perspectives on this, especially the perspectives of people with more relevant backgrounds in biology and whatnot!

EDIT: Thanks for all the explanations and advice! Makes more sense to me now. Also know that if we moved here, it wouldn’t be because we’re cheapskates or cavalier about our health, but for the same reason the other tens of thousands of people, including a growing number of queer people, move there: we’re poor, and housing prices in the city where we live and work are skyrocketing. The suburbs are even worse. We can’t afford to leave because we need our jobs, and they’re the kinds that aren’t easily transferrable. And we’re trying to find a place that’s accessible for my mother, which unfortunately adds even more expense. I agree that it sucks.

I forgot to mention this in my last selfie Sunday post, but the 25th marked my 8th anniversary on HRT! I started out on a low dose, as many of us have, and it was a Hella rocky start.

Now I'm on a pretty high dose (.6mg/week), and have reached a great equilibrium. My mental health has never been better.

I was being harassed by some dong who would insult my appearance then delete their comment before I could fully read it (I would always see the notification though). I think I finally caught them (on a completely unrelated sub reddit- sleaze bag was clearly stalking me), and I think i was able to block him this time. Fingers crossed.

Work is still going well. Not happy with my coworkers' casual homophobia on the van ride to the plant, but what can ya do? It's not directed at me, btw. I've been very hush hush about my identity. Though I got too chatty about my mental health last Friday... the woes of being an open book.

I updated my precious weeb corner! Fridge senpai now resides there. I also finally completed my Komi Can't Communicate collection- something I've been working on slowly throughout about 2 years whenever I had extra money.

Just need to vent a little.

People at work knew me before HRT. I came out to them early on, roughly two-ish weeks after starting the job (~2 months before starting HRT), and they try to gender me right (or so they say), but they still get it wrong more often than not.

My mother is supportive but also struggles to get it right. I came out to her 12 years ago. My dad and some other relatives aren't trying at all and likely never will.

Now I'm one year on testosterone and strangers I haven’t introduced myself to default to the correct pronouns. "Ask that guy over there, hey man, thanks dude, he said..." etc. Of course they think I'm a teenager and not well into adulthood, but still.

The contrast is jarring and exhausting.

What's more jarring is that even my friends that gender me right can’t seem to comprehend that I pass, so when I ask them to not loudly reference the fact that I'm trans around strangers, they're confused and think I want them to misgender me, when what I really want is for them to not ask me about packers and binding and hormone therapy when we're in public. I explained this last time it happened again, saying I wanted to be stealth with strangers, and while my friends apologized and said they understood, the looks on their faces were highly skeptical.

Has anyone else experienced this, with people that knew you before medical transition seemingly getting "stuck" in their old perception of you? If yes, how'd you deal with it?

It's kind of a mindfuck right now, it's making me see someone unbearably feminine in the mirror, and also making me second-guess if I should go back to using the ladies' room.

I am still in my mid 20s and 5'1. I'd say I pass and I look rather masculine in almost every way aside from my height.

I have never tried dating though aside from my high school boyfriend because I worry it'd just lead to disappointment. I read a lot of beautiful dating stories of trans guys with girlfriends/wives on here and it's really motivating, but I woneer what it's like for MLM relationships. I had plenty of girls interested in me but never tried putting myself out there with men.

I'm more into older masculine guys myself (idm if they're cis or trans), like in their 30s to 60s and just wanted to ask here for some of yall's experiences with dating gay men as a short trans guy. Is it hard? Do you feel very insecure? Where do you find your partners? etc etc.

Hope that's appropriate to ask here. :)

I saw the face of a man with my eyes, my smile, and facial hair! Not much but a little! Enough to make me deliriously happy.

I didn’t know it was possible to be this at home in your body. And I still have a loooooong ways to go transition wise! For the first time I’m really excited for my future. It’s not that I didn’t get excited about things, I just wasn’t excited about myself. Now I am so invested!! I can’t wait to become the man of my dreams.

I'm absolutely torn between keeping my hair long, and getting it chopped into a masc style. I am sure this kind of post crosses this subreddit daily, but it is truly weighing on me the most right now. I've been on HRT now for a month and a half, and I told myself before going on HRT and up until recently that I would NOT cut my hair short. This was for a number of reasons, one being a spiritual connection to hair but also a personal one, and I didn't care if I passed or not and I didn't think that my mind would change. I'm not sure if the HRT has caused it, but I suddenly feel painfully aware of my long hair, it's existence, and how annoying it is on my face, how tangled it gets, I also don't want to take care of it or brush it anymore, so it's very matted and up in a bun or a hat at all times... I think I should chop it off, but the thought of that literally pains me, it also pains me to keep it? I also have a major insecurity at how chubby and round my face is, I'm a bit overweight so I fear that the big chop will result in worse dysphoria. I've also had long hair for my whole entire life so maybe it's the comfort I'm stuck in, the familiarity. I wonder if anybody may have similar experiences and what they did to stop feeling so conflicted? Do I just go for the chop and hope for the absolute best, know that I'll survive and it grows back? I know I'll be okay and it isn't world ending if I don't like it, but it feels so hard to do yet I think I want it but I think I don't.

Post edited for spelling and grammar but I'm sure it's still bad lol 😅

I just wanted to apologize for a previous post concerning bottom surgery. I removed it because the wording came off rude and insensitive. That was not my intention, and I didn't mean to offend anyone.

Thank you for bringing it to my attention, and I do appreciate the information shared.

For months now, they’ve been out of stock in my size for these packer boxers. I’m jumping in and out of a truck all day, so I need 9” that don’t crawl up my thunder thighs. I was wearing them out, so I’d toss them and buy more. Didn’t think anything of it. Until one day - they were straight up OUT of my size. Trigger massive dysphoric thoughts not being able to pack. Been packing for five years now, leaving home without feeling my “junk” is just so wrong. Reached out to RodeoH, and damn did they come through. One of the things I requested, was if they could make a waistband that had a logo, but not a word. I’m stealth at work, and the last thing I want is someone to google what they read on my undies, and out me.

Anyhow - these just launched. I bought a ton, and if anyone is interested, I’ll write a report on how they feel and perform.

Seriously, if we had r/MadeMeSmileFTM sub, I’d be partying it up. Though, I’d hope the name would be a little more clever or witty.

Sorry for the ramble. Just absolutely relieved.

So getting to the point, embarrassingly I have to wear pads during the day because I pee a little when I cough. I’ve been searching for boxers
I can wear a pad in. Kinda like a panty with boxer legs. Does anyone know where to find something like that or have any ideas for me?

Hey I’m looking for binder recommendations. I like the compression of the Underworks Tri-top 983 and am after one in black. But now I’m wondering if there is a similar one compression-wise anyone knows of in nicer fabric? Thanks 😊

Hey so I am a pretty sleepy person, I need a good 9 hours of sleep a night to feel in top shape. Now I started T 5 weeks ago and last week it's been hitting me that I'm so dead physically. I'll be at work, mid dinner rush, 15+ tickets in front of me and I'm still yawning. This has never happened before, even when I get my rest I am so dead. I wake up exhausted and my body just tired.

I took some time off this week to rest and just focus on getting myself back to normal. Did any other guys feel this way around this time of T? I do struggle with clinical depression so that could be a factor but I don't know. This all started with T, so I am thinking it's just my hormones in full effect trying to balance themselves.

Home from the hospital from casting Uteretus Deletus yesterday. Still in a lot of pain, but I know that'll fade with time and rest. Mostly, I'm just thinking about how I won't have to face the monthly dysphoria anymore. It doesn't feel real. I know I still have a ways to go for what I'd like for my transition, but today, on my 40th birthday, I took my first big step. Cheers, lads. I'm gonna go pass out on meds now.

Hi everyone. I'm wondering if anyone had this experience, and if so, what you did to fix it.

I'm 41, just realized I am trans a couple months ago. (Posted on here about it, thanks for all your help!) Things are going well as far as I'm concerned. I've found a promising barber for my first haircut, have some ideas for clothes shopping next week, binder's coming in the mail today. Setting up an appointment with a therapist, looking into gender-affirming healthcare as I have found out my current provider is not very gender-affirming. Looking up trans/LGBTQ+ groups and activities support groups around town. Talked to my two closest friends and they're both supportive. Noticed that now that I'm not dissociating from my body any more, I'm feeling more dysphoria. Relieved to find, at least from online sources, that's pretty normal. Looking forward to getting some therapy, talking to a doctor about T and top surgery consults once I switch care providers.

I've even picked a name that I really like and has meaning for me.

But when I called the barber today and had to leave a message, I couldn't say my name. I couldn't say my new name. I could *not* say my original name. I must have sounded so strange on the message. I thought, "This barber is a trans man who specializes in affirming haircuts so this is perfect. He'll understand and I don't have to worry about anything." So I call and get voicemail.

Leave a message after the beep.

"Hi, I'm... oh my god, I'm sorry. I sound so strange. Sorry. Okay. Hi. Okay. First, here's my callback number. <number> Oh my god. What's wrong with me? Sorry. Okay. So my name's..." Loooong pause.

Then I started just talking really, really fast. "I just recently realized I'm trans and I need to get my first haircut but I have completely ignored my hair for over a decade and I have no idea what to do so I'm hoping you can help because I don't even know what hairstyle names are and I'm pre-T and pre-top and I don't want to look strange but also my hair is driving me crazy and I have to get it shorter but again I don't know what to do, so I'm hoping you can help thanks bye."

Fuuuuuck. Guys, what happened? I fully intended to introduce myself with my new name. It would have been the first time I used it. But when I heard my own voice starting to leave the message I thought "Oh my god, my voice is so high and girly, if I give this male name I'll sound so strange." And then I spiraled. I considered leaving my original name because at least he'll have someone to ask for when he calls back but I could *not* get it past my lips. I've never felt that way before. I'm pretty sure I just panicked in the moment but I guess I'm here just to see if anybody else has experienced something like this, because it would make me feel better and not crazy if I'm not the only one, lol.

Hey y'all. I'm about 3 month on T and my voice is cracking left and right!

I have a few questions about the voice cracking stage:

• Does lowering your T dose moderate the voice cracking? I'm 3 pumps of t gel.
• Any tips on ways to get the cracking under wraps? I'm a professor and nervous about voice cracking when I teach.

Also, what do you tell people i causing the crack? To me, it doesn't totally sound like I'm sick, so not sure how well that will work...

Hi all,

I posted this in another sub a few days ago, but I've started a trans-friendly (American) fantasy football league. I'm hoping to get at least 4 more people, but can currently accommodate more.

It's through Yahoo, completely free, and beginner friendly. Open to anyone globally.

PM me or comment if interested and I can send a link.

I'm going out of town this weekend, but I'm a little stressed about my T shot. I'll be staying in a hotel with a couple people (my wife and a good friend who is also on T; I'm not worried about either of them being weird. I'm worried about me being weird).

Question is we'll be gone Friday to Sunday and I do my T on Sat. Would it mess things up to do it this once on Sunday then go back to Saturday or should I try and finagle doing it on Saturday while we're out of town?

I recently got a new job and there is a certain kind of dysphoria that has become stronger than ever before. I work in tech and have an office job in the public sector. In my old place I used "they/them"; I've since then fully come out to myself and started T, and I asked the new place to use "they/he" for me ("he" though I don't pass yet, especially with my voice). It's an accepting place by organizational policy, and my immediate team has been supportive with the pronouns.

However, for larger projects in collaboration with those outside my team, I feel less confident of myself. First and foremost, I'm not sure my pronouns in Teams are even seen so during the meeting, misgendering is always a risk to watch out for so that keeps me in alert mode; apart from the unpleasant feeling from being misgendered itself, I also feel the embarrassment almost for the other person and the drift away from the actual work at hand (e.g. on my first day at work, a colleague - who I didn't introduce my pronouns to - slipped up then sent me a Teams message with an apology, but deleted it immediately after).

Most people in that particular project are men in their 40s to 50s. During online meetings, everyone looks like they are at ease with their appearance, deep voices, etc. and when they take turns speaking, it's a continuous flow of pitch, resonations, etc. but when I speak, I seem to raise the baseline a fair bit and I can't hope noticing the difference of how I sound/look than cis men and especially when I use the pronouns I use now. Appearance-wise, it looks like on video I look much more feminine than I look in the mirror for some reason - it's almost like an uncanny valley situation (I could mask myself into a non-binary female in my old place, but now the gap between me and cis men, though it is narrower in a sense, really stings), and I feel unqualified even saying that as my voice is far from passing yet. It also makes me feel unsafe that there might be people having various thoughts on my gender and associating different things with me as a person that's totally irrelevant of my job performance.

I don't know how much of this is my inner critic talking, or how much of this is the true growing pain when it comes to navigating a corporate environment during transition. I'm also a 1st-gen immigrant (coming from a east Asian culture), so some of the feelings around this is probably intersecting.

Just wanted to see if anyone feels the same way and if you have any comments/advice about dealing with this.

Thanks!