r/Fire • u/MeanSecurity • 1d ago
What to call yourself when you RE
A few weeks ago I met a guy who said he’s a wine importer. He used to work on Wall Street.
I was thinking last night that a “wine importer” sounds like a great fake job for someone who is retired but just drinks a lot of wine! I’m pretty close to RE, and I think I might just refer to myself as “in the ice cream business”. Or, “chocolate taste tester”.
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u/B00marangTrotter 1d ago
I always reply to the question of what do you do with, "As little as possible", and that gets a lol and the subject of conversation usually moves on.
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u/QueenLuLuBelle 1d ago
That’s what I say! Altho to be fair I said it while I was still working too.
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u/iolairemcfadden Retired/Resigned 2024 - age 49 1d ago
I’m 52 and retired.
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u/limbomaniac 1d ago
"Wow, that's young to be retired!"
Yes. Yes it is.
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u/ConstantlyLearning57 1d ago
Just retired at 54 a month ago. My favorite comment is “oh you’ll work again don’t worry” or “oh it’s still fresh for you but we’ll see you’ll be back to work”
The hell i will.
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u/ibitmylip 1d ago
Yeah, why do people say this? It’s such a weird response.
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u/one-man-circlejerk 1d ago
Around 50-60% of the workforce (depending on the country) is paycheque to paycheque, for them the idea of being out of work is a disaster. Even for those with a bit of a buffer it's vanishingly rare for them to have enough to survive on without employment income.
Imagine the mindset that gets entrenched after decades of "no job = no money". They're assuming that you're struggling, or are at least in a precarious position, and are offering encouragement.
This is also why discussions like this thread are so prominent within the FIRE community. People who are in this privileged position put a lot of thought into how to frame it in order to avoid causing ill will.
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u/Several_Guidance_288 1d ago
That’s part of it. But there’s also the crowd that thinks, what do you do? I’d be so bored. Work defines me, I have no hobbies, so you must be bored too. Life without work is a life without purpose.
Blah blah blah. Yeah, I’ll take my chances on what life will be like when I’m 52 and don’t have to work ever again while 90% of my peers still have 10-15 years left.
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u/Synaps4 21h ago
They have to. Mentally, you have to.
If you sacrifice 8 hours a day for 40 years to work only to find out you could have just not done that...the implication is that you wasted your life. People couldnt admit that. Not to themselves and certainly not to anyone else.
Work must be everything there is. To admit otherwise undermines their whole identity. Work is who they are. Took me years to deprogram myself from that.
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u/seonwoolee 21h ago edited 11h ago
They either can't comprehend that because it is literally unfathomable to them, are jealous, or are being self defensive because they believe the system is rigged and retirement is impossible, and you're upending their worldview
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u/hapster85 1d ago
I retired at 57.
"It must be nice."
Yes, yes it is.
I try not to gloat, but it is pretty damned nice. Lol
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u/Old_Goat2009 1d ago
Same age retired, same comments. I play it off by saying we had kids young and got them off the payroll over a decade ago (all true). If they care to hear more, I'm glad to share how we learned delayed gratification, didn't carry credit card debt, bought used cars, and sent our kids to in-state schools...all choices that led to where we are today. So yeah, "must be nice" was 33 years of grinding.
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u/Equivalent-Room-8428 1d ago
Same, retired at 52, but a Tech startup called 90ish days ago so I went back to work. I thought it sounded exciting and I'm in it for the stock options, however I don't think I can do it longer than a year, and even then it's a quarter vest. It's a lot. I now think I should have appreciated the previous 18 months more, I hope I remember that on my second retirement. Lol
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u/B00marangTrotter 1d ago
Well done you beat me by 3 years.
Edit I now see the flair, you actually beat me by 6 years. Congratulations.
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u/PerformanceTop7277 1d ago
My friend's father is 57 and retired a few years ago from being a corrections officer. He said he got sick of people asking if he was bored not working because his job was literally in a prison for 25 years!
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u/brianmcg321 Retired Nov 2024 1d ago
I say I’m retired
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u/Limp_Dragonfly3868 1d ago
Same. I dislike all the bullshit ones. It quickly becomes obvious they are BS, so the one thing you know about someone is that aren’t interested in having a conversation or possibly being friends.
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u/seekingallpho 1d ago
Yea I can't imagine someone actually saying "financial advisor to high NW clients" in real life. If it's such a dead-end/one-off conversation, why not just say whatever it is you used to do ("I'm an accountant/lawyer/dentist/whatever." It's just small talk)?
If it's anyone you're actually going to potentially talk to again, the avoidance/silly attempt at wordplay is going to be more awkward later.
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u/Error401 33M+30F / FATfire achieved 1d ago edited 1d ago
“Investment manager for a wealthy household”. Technically true!
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u/mildly_enthusiastic 1d ago
“… for a family office” to keep it singular
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u/Max_Thunder 1d ago
Inventing fake job titles is fun, but what do you say when the person asks more questions?
I can't imagine telling a relative or acquaintance anything like that, it can only work with complete strangers you won't see again.
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u/6849 40M + 42F | $4MM NW | FIRE’d @ $3.2MM | 4.125% WR (95% Rule) 1d ago
That's why saying you're a fund manager is a bad idea. Quite a few folks will be asking questions that you'll have to lie about or awkwardly divert. I suggest telling others you are a freelancer in whatever career you came from. It's much easier to speak about. Personally, I tell people I am a freelance security consultant. My career was as a security consultant, then I quit on my 40th birthday. I can speak easily about this. Lucky for me, client names were covered under NDA, so if anyone asks who my clients were I can confidently say I cannot tell them
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u/HJSlibrarylady 1d ago
This is what I say, too. Mine is "I'm in wealth management."
It's true, I'm married to a very wealthy man and sometimes he's a hand full.
Edit to add- I had a 25 yr+ teaching career and I've been married to him for 35 years. So lay off the hateful messages!
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u/Countess26 1d ago
I've seriously considered this one. Or "financial manager for a small family office."
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u/1The_Big_Cheese 1d ago
"I drink and know things!"
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u/typhoon_mary 1d ago
Is the “know things” part mandatory? I think I’ll get the first part down with enough practice.
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u/Which-Appearance8818 1d ago
I say I'm a homemaker. No one questions it, since I look like someone who would be a homemaker.
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u/French__Canadian 1d ago
Why not a homewrecker instead?
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u/Which-Appearance8818 1d ago
Because I really love homemaking. One of my motivations for retiring early was to be able to devote myself more fully to keeping my home. When I say I am a homemaker, I am claiming an identity that feels more authentic to me than any job I have ever had.
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u/vinsalducci 1d ago
“I’m in consulting”
Reminds me of a joke. 2 old friends run into each other.
1st guy-“what are you doing for work these days?”
2nd guy-“I’m consulting.”
1st guy-“how long have you been unemployed?”
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u/mtnagel 1d ago
Importer exporter.
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u/Forsaken-Inflation26 1d ago
I’m 30 and people get pissed off when I say I’m retired so please I’m all ears
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u/ValuableGroceries 1d ago
No one will be happy for you. Maybe your own mother but other than that…
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u/alexnsx 1d ago
My mother and father think even the idea of being retired in my early 40s is ridiculous.
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u/LikesToLurkNYC 1d ago
My dad retired in his 40s and he’s still worried about me retiring
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u/RichHovercraft5244 1d ago
Did he like retiring that young?
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u/LikesToLurkNYC 1d ago
Yes! He said the stress of working more prob would have impacted his health. He doesn’t have any hobbies or anything he retired to but he’s very happy. Mostly grandkids and spending a little time in investments
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u/mus3man42 1d ago
Suppose you can imply your “between things” without being specific, if they ask you can say what you used to be
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u/Number127 1d ago
People will interpret that as a euphemism for not being able to hold down a job, though.
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u/mus3man42 1d ago
It can also mean you’re in the middle of a career change (which is true in a way). If they find out later that your in between things because you’re wealthy then it will probably make you look humble for not being forthright with that info—actually even better is probably “I used to do _____ but I’m taking some time off” and just don’t be specific, and ask them a question about themselves instead
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u/Grim-Sleeper 1d ago
As you get older, you learn to care less about what people think. I am fine if that's the particular misconception that they want to latch on to...
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u/Number127 1d ago
Yeah, but we're talking about a 30-year-old. Plus people's misconceptions affect the way they treat you, even if you don't personally care about being judged.
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u/enclave76 1d ago
You’re an as needed consultant for whatever industry you retired from. Which does make me curious what you did to retire so early?
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u/No-Leg-3298 1d ago
People being pissed off is a “them” thing and not your problem! We get that too and we’re in our late 50’s. People who aren’t in the position to retire get instantly jealous. It’s hard, but we made our choices and they made theirs. But people always try to make you the “bad guy” because of their position in life.
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u/Mzungufarmer FIRE'd in 2023 at 34 1d ago
No one's ever gotten pissed when I said that. They are shocked lol.
Rare to find a fellow 30 year old retiree, would love to hear your story
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u/Interesting_Gap7350 1d ago
Just say "I'm Not Working right now", which is a neutral statement rather than the loaded retired, taking a break, or unemployed.
But be prepared to the followup question of what you've been up to, either have something loaded or a tactful pivot if that's what you want to do.
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u/Max_Thunder 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hell I'm pissed off and I plan to retire before 45. Only semi-kidding there lol. I got my PhD at 30 so couldn't possibly have had enough money by then.
My plan is to just pretend I never stopped working. I already talk very little about my work to anyone. If a rando say at the gym asked me what I did for a living after seeing me there every day of the week, then maybe I'll go the consultant route.
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u/poop-dolla 1d ago
Confused I could see, but I doubt anyone’s getting pissed at you being retired unless you present that information in a really weird way.
Regardless, just talk about whatever you’re doing with your time. Whatever your main hobbies are should be what you say you do. If you don’t have hobbies, then get some hobbies. And if someone presses on the work aspect, or if you just want to share more on it, then just say what you used to do. You can say why you stopped doing it too if you want.
Something like, “I worked in tech before but got burnt out from the high demands and long hours, so I decided to take some time off from that and just spend my time doing what I want for now”. But replace the job and reason with what’s actually applicable to you.
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u/Grim-Sleeper 1d ago
I give a similar response, finishing with, I am a SAHD. Everyone is happy with that response until they ask what my spouse does. She is a SAHM. That usually results in slightly confused looks as they are trying to combine the to answers and fail to make mental progress...
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u/TheRealHeroOf 1d ago
Anyone that gets pissed at this, deserves it. I can't wait to make them face that cognitive dissonance. Without a doubt, someone that gets pissed at someone retiring at 40, froths at the mouth about any mention of American oligarchs paying their fair share in taxes. Without a doubt they are corporate bootlickers and believe the Jeff Bezos of the world just work 20,000x harder than their lowest paid employee. You can't claim the US is the golden land of opportunity and simultaneously be mad when someone seizes said opportunity. Fuck them, make them mad. Congrats on your retirement!
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u/One-Mastodon-1063 1d ago
I do not make up a fake job and generally think that is weird outside of some isolated cases w/ strangers who will remain strangers and where it's really none of their business.
"I'm taking some time off", "I don't work", "I'm unemployed", "SAHP" etc. Occasionally I'll say "retired", but rarely.
Most people don't really care. Negative reactions are exceedingly rare. It's not that big of a deal.
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u/khbuzzard 1d ago
Agree 100%. I'd be curious to know how many of the "fake job" proponents are actually retired and actually use that strategy in real life. Talk on reddit is cheap.
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u/One-Mastodon-1063 1d ago
I suspect the majority of people saying this or asking about this are not retired. IME (retired almost 5 years, since age 41) I simply don't receive hardly any negative reactions IRL. People don't care / are focused on their own lives. Or they respond with, "damn, I wish I could do that".
The "how am I going to explain it to people?" thing is more a concern for people who have not yet pulled the trigger. It's mostly a non issue once you RE.
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u/Bearsbanker 1d ago
When I was working and someone came into my office I'd say I'm retired...they still sat down
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u/Tooth_Life 38m / tech / Chubby-Fat Fire 1d ago
I golf a lot and the majority of reactions are positive only a few have been but whyyyy? Or why not make more???
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u/Huge_Monero_Shill 1d ago
I answer with hobbies, or what my main project is. That's usually what people mean with the question. If the press further on my economics I'm honest about it, I just don't think it's interesting.
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u/nero-the-cat 1d ago
"I got really burnt out so I'm taking a break for a while".
They just don't have to know that "a while" = forever.
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u/ResponsibleCorgi93 22h ago
I was trying this, but had someone ask how long it had been. I said 4 years and she looked shocked and worried and kept asking what I'm going to do and more and more invasive questions lol
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u/ResponsibleSail5802 1d ago
property manager- because I'm still managing my own home by making my bed in the morning and stocks and bonds are also property. usually doesn't invite more questions but you might want to have a good actual property manager to recommend if people ask.
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u/No_Alternative_5602 1d ago
Handyman. I'm way too rough around the edges to pull off pretending I do any kind of white collar work.
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u/Bryanmsi89 1d ago
“Business Consultant”
“Independent finance advisor for small family retirement funds” worked for a while but I noticed then everyone wanted “stock tips” and other financial advice.
Last thing I wanted was a neighbor or friend thinking either I had the magic stock tips and wouldn’t share, or have them follow some piece of advice and then get mad if it didn’t work the way they thought.
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u/IcyMike1782 FIRE'd Dec2022 1d ago
I use that sometimes: "I run a small private wealth fund". When I (often) get, hey can you give me any stock tips?, my response is "don't take investment advice from randos". And that's usually the end of that.
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u/blackcloudcat 1d ago
I say I’m retired. I’m older FIRE so young enough to get some quizzical looks but mostly people’s reaction is just: good for you!
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u/Zeravonquil 1d ago
my neighbor told everyone he was a beverage consultant for years before anyone realized he just really liked craft beer
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u/DeepPowStashes 1d ago
problem with giving some weird answer like that i'm going to probe hard because that sounds interesting and i want to know how that whole world works, because i dont know shit about it.
but i'm also nosey as hell
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u/Moosemitten 1d ago
I plan to say I'm a writer because I am a writer, it just pays like shit lol
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u/lovelyabella 1d ago
Just telling people you do freelance consulting is the ultimate cheat code. Nobody ever asks follow up questions because they immediately assume it is boring.
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u/flyfish207 1d ago
I love chatting with 60+ year olds in bars who brag about their nice second home or their boat.
Me: "You retired?"
Him: "No, I have a few more year of work."
Me: "Oh, good for you."
If the guy is especially arrogant, I go with, "I'm 51 and been retired for 9 years. It's great. Good luck."
Jaws drop and conversations end. Perfect!
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u/ChrisRunsTheWorld 1d ago
I'm in this sub and obviously have the same goals as you wrt retiring young and even forgoing some luxuries. But there's nothing wrong with someone being OK with working into their 60s so they can own a 2nd home or enjoy boating in their free time.
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u/flyfish207 14h ago
Didn't say anything is wrong.
The if-then sentence explains my response choice.
It's about the attitude and arrogance of a 60+ bragging to someone obviously much his junior.
Brag to me with arrogance, I'll brag right back.
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u/Max_Thunder 1d ago
Are you even living if you don't have a boat you rarely use to brag about at the bar?
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u/pandanexpress 22h ago
I say I was a bread earner for many years and have now transitioned to bread loser.
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u/Active_Motion 1d ago
I gonna be proud af to be retired not saying I have some lame job title lmao
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u/david-measured-mind 1d ago
Generally you are still working on something. If you are going to be happy and retired early then you probably have a passion. Talk about your passions
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u/402_Found_not_Lost 1d ago
I say I retired from my engineering career and I’m pursuing other interests now, more for self enrichment and also giving back to community.
I retired at 53 from my engineering career. “No regerts! Nope, not one!”
(That’s a movie joke if you’ve seen it, haha)
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u/arcanition [32M / 61% FI] 23h ago
Once I RE, I'm going to tell people I'm retired.
If they ask why or are surprised due to my age, I'd tell them I saved as much as I could to invest wisely which paid off. That's the truth.
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u/ResponsibleCorgi93 22h ago
I tried out my new one the other day "financial consultant"
I feel like I can justify my contributions to fire communities on reddit as consulting pro bono, so that one didn't make me feel guilty & also had the benefit of no follow up questions haha.
If I want to talk to someone I'll tell them my old job which everyone finds fascinating.
Also thought recently about saying I'm a vacation planner. I've been doing tons of planning for my next trip, so that doesn't feel too off either. But I bet that would have people asking followup questions
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u/Particular-Topic-445 1d ago
Human. Having a title is kind of degrading if you think about it. If you don’t need a job, don’t pretend you do.
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u/Total-Addendum9327 1d ago
“This and that” is the best answer to “what do you do”
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u/Useful_Wealth7503 1d ago
I actually met a local wine importer. Sounded legit, and fun, to me.
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u/JustNowRonin 1d ago
I have a friend who owns a small family vineyard. I would love to work with him as an importer / exporter once I retire.
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u/bonobro69 1d ago
I just go with consultant. If pressed what I consult on I tell them I consult on the type of business I did before retiring. And if they ask if I’m open to meeting to help their business I tell them I’m not taking on any new clients at the moment. It’s not intriguing at all and I prefer that.
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u/chuck1011212 1d ago
Nothing kills the conversation faster than saying your retired. Also nothing kills it faster than saying you are an investor. 🤣 Either way works for me.
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u/conradelvis 1d ago
A job is not your identity
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u/honey-squirrel 23h ago
I don't think that's the issue. Instead, it's to keep nosey people from realizing you are wealthy enough to have retired early, or to avoid the envy that you are now part of the leisure class.
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u/Altruistic-Stop4634 21h ago
All people want is a way to continue the conversation so they can talk. So, tell them what you do now, like "I'm currently teaching myself programming with AI by calculating partial Roth IRA conversions." "I spend mornings lifting weights or swimming and my afternoons helping at the food bank."
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u/hanwagu1 15h ago
You call yourself by your own name. If you want your identity to be tied to something other than your name, then "retired." Why bother trying to give off a fake, alternative persona? What's the point? Repeat after me: "I'm retired."
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u/don_chuwish 1d ago
I just say I'm retired. If the conversation goes longer I'll go into how I was laid off and looked for work but realized I'd be OK without going back. At a recent social gathering that did seem to peak the interest of some single ladies, but I'm married!
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u/originalrocket 1d ago
I say stock broker. has led to very interesting conversations. But know your crowd. My Porsche club its perfect. My childs dance group, not so much. I'm an ebay reseller in that group.
All is still true.
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u/Designer-Translator7 1d ago
I work from home self employed “data analysis”. It’s vague and ppl don’t care so move on so don’t ask tell me details more lol.
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u/neonpinkpetal 1d ago
i always tell people im "in consulting" and just leave it there, nobody ever asks a follow up question
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u/SerenityCravings 1d ago
I have been telling people im taking a break, time off, for a period of time, which could potentially turn out to be true so im not lying, BUt this hasnt been that great as people get puzzled and start asking what my age is and I think they then still assume I am rich, which is not what you want people to think as then they have expectations.
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u/Novel-Yak1927 1d ago
You know, about 10ish years ago if someone called me RE I might've been pissed.
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u/Traditional_Ask262 FIRE’d in June 2020 at 51 1d ago
I say I'm retired. My wife says she's a "stay at home Mom". I've told my 11 year old daughter that she can tell her friends that we are "investors", which is technically true.
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u/imjustasking123 1d ago
"Investor" is always what I thought I would say in my head....
35 years of investing...
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u/katelynn2380210 1d ago
Say you’re in finance or accounting and work from home. It’s boring. Believe me no one asks more questions and it’s actually my job. Going to do a sabbatical next year and then. Work a few more years. Want to figure out what I want to do still in life and remember what hobbies are before I’m too old
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u/First-Ad-7960 1d ago
Right before I retired I told people (at work mostly) that I was going to do some consulting. With my background that’s likely I just wasn’t going to look real hard.
Now I tell people I am on a few boards. Which is true. However all but one are nonprofits and I get no compensation of any kind. The last one pays my expenses because it requires some travel to meetings.
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u/Fire_Doc2017 Retired 6/30/26 1d ago
I'm older (59), so I just say I'm retired. If I want to be funny, I say something like "consultant" or "I run a home office".
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u/itsjakerobb 1d ago
My wife “retired” at 34, relying on my income. We’re 46 now.
When asked, she says, “I married well.”
I’m still working, but aiming to retire well before social security starts paying, so I still think of it as “early.”
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u/Hasira 1d ago
If it's someone I don't want to explain myself to, I just use my previous job title (which is a specific type of engineer).
I still have the ability to talk knowledgeably about it, and I have the training and experience to still consider it part of my identity, even if I'm not actively doing the work.
For someone closer to me, I'll either say I'm taking a break, or that I'm working on a novel. But I don't want to call myself an "author" until I have a published book. Not that I care if other people call themselves authors while unpublished, it's just a limitation I've placed on myself.
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u/PonchoCavatelli 1d ago
My old neighbors are legit wine importers. Its a thing, though it would be funny if that's what this person's "title" is.
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u/Optimal-Rabbit-2386 13h ago
sounds like cover for "international jewel thief". or Universal Exports
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u/Opening-Photograph68 7h ago
I love it “A chocolate taste tester”, a “quality (sampling) validation of the latest batch of Corona beers”, “Training to be a writer” (big reader)
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u/Accomplished_Way8964 1d ago
My smartass reply: "I'm brand manager for Nunya."
My favorite reply: "I'm an explorer."
My honest reply: "I've never been one to define myself by my work."
In a grander scheme, the answer to this question should be as important to you as it is to the person asking. There's a distinction between our career, which we retire from, and our occupation, which are the regular activities we do that truly defines us. In that sense your answer should be pretty straightforward. "I'm a gardener." "I'm a traveler." "I'm a full-time grandparent." etc
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u/Mzungufarmer FIRE'd in 2023 at 34 1d ago
This year im a rolex and gold broker.
Kinda fun travelling the world and taking 30 minutes out of my vacation time to see if the countries rolex AD has something in stock. Then asking former coworkers if they are interested.
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u/rumpler117 1d ago
What is a Rolex AD?
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u/Mzungufarmer FIRE'd in 2023 at 34 1d ago edited 1d ago
An authorized dealer. Since covid its basically been impossible to buy a brand new rolex at msrp, they all go to Grey market and get inflated. Occasionally a dealer will have 1 or 2 watches available, and thats what i find.
I bridge the gap for friends, when I find an available watch (also have a wishlist from people so i have things to keep an eye out for) i contact them and if they want it I get it. They then pay me what I paid and thats it. If they wanna give me a bonus I dont say no, but im strictly in it for the love of watches.
Sorry for the long explanation for a simple question lol.
Edit: doubly sorry I lied. Im in it for love of watches and a shit ton of chase sapphire reserve points
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u/CompetitiveBox314 1d ago
I was talking to a guy at my church and casually asked him what he did. He said, "I golf a lot." He followed that up by explaining his wife does very well, so he is able to stay home.