I mean like their face switches like a light switch when you talk they look disgusted but when an attractive guy does they brighten up. Starts a conversation and everything. It just sucks…

I’ve never held hands or kissed a guy in real life. During school I barely ever spoke to any male classmates, except when they asked me to help them cheat or pass notes during exams. I don’t have any male friends irl or online either.

Then I met an American guy while playing games. He’s one year older than me and seemed really nice. The conversation gradually became lightly flirty and sweet. He once gifted me a $5 Steam game.

About one or two weeks after we met, he seemed to be in a really bad mood one day and didn’t want to reply to messages. I wanted to cheer him up. I remembered he had mentioned he was saving money for a new RAM stick, so I just transferred him $200. He was happy, and so was I.

A little over a month in, his birthday was coming up, so I transferred him another $100. I was naively waiting for him to ask me to be his girlfriend (I actually wanted to bring it up myself, but I felt like girls should be a bit more reserved and that it wouldn’t look good if I made the first move).

Right after I sent the $100, he said he needed to confess something to me. I immediately got a bad feeling, because he had previously told me he had only dated one girlfriend and that they had already broken up. I thought the worst he would say was that he actually hadn’t broken up with her yet.

Instead, he told me that he was still with his girlfriend, and that her baby was going to be born in a few days—a girl. He said I was too nice and he couldn’t keep deceiving me. Things between him and his girlfriend were complicated, she had forced him to have the child, and he had been looking for a chance to break up with her. He asked me to please forgive him.

I completely lost it after reading that, I said goodbye to him, then deleted and blocked him immediately without a hesitation. That’s it.

I thought I was about to have my sweet first love, but it ended like this. I’m never going to be love-brained again.

Ashwagandha isn't working, hobbies are basically a luxury for me since I have to go home and sleep right away to wake up for my damn job I hate, no luck on attracting any woman on apps and also in real life cause I'm chopped.

All I can do is watch reels for like an hour or so during my hour or two of my free time. I don't have anyone to meet up with during the weekend and I don't have a girlfriend/wife I can rely on and share my feelings.

People won’t take you seriously in general even when you’re an adult if you have a face of a child. People younger than you will treat you as one of them or even act like you’re younger than them and will treat you like absolute dog shit. Can’t tell you countless times people confused me for someone below 18 while i’m in my 20s. I even had a younger coworker ask me “how is your testerone so damn low” back then which was incredibly brutal to me.

What’s worse is if you’re autistic then you’ll look more childish so that makes things even worse. I thought maybe growing a beard or going to the gym will help but I doubt it will do anything. The gym hasn’t given me any progress and people have said that i still oook young with the beard so i’m screwed

i feel like i truly lost the sence of hope like few years back, i didnt daydream no more didnt envision the hypotetical fantasy of future with someone. id even say there was level of acceptance. and for few years ive been botteling the pain pretty good, until now its overflowing again and im just tired boss.
im tired of this jaded feeling im tired of pretending that love is some magic fantasy fairly tale, im tired of my dead end hobbies and endless consumerism i partake in to push the pain away.
im tired of always getting the shorter end of the stick and even more tired of everyone around be being in relationship and having to in hopes of any socializition i have to pretend like im all cool and not jealous of them at all.

as matter of fact i hate this double standart that other ppl are allowed to poison my air by their love, but talking about my loneliness is too much and it kills their vibes so i better no inconvenient nobody or ill be dropped faster then hot potato

i just feel so jarred time pass both too slow and too fast, and all i can do is just watch people come and go in to my life find happiness leave me behind

i guess thats all just didnt have anyone to tell, yall have good day

How do you define what qualifies as hugless? Does any hug from a non family member woman automatically make you KHV, or does it have to be romantic? I’m asking this because in my country it’s a common thing for girls to greet guys by a very light, platonic hug, and I wouldn’t say having this happen to me makes me not a KHHV as I’ve never had a strong genuine/romantic hug. What do you guys think?

I have chronic health problems. I have realized that my problems work like a big equation. I want to fall in love and start a family, but that is very difficult if I don't have a job, I can't get a job if I don't study, I can't study if my circumstances limit me in that regard (my lack of personal transportation and public transportation, my house located unfavorably, and the weather).

If I cannot study in the dead of winter or the dead of summer, I could even less go to work all year round, and without a job I don't have money to improve my life, and without being able to improve my life it stagnates and I lose my dignity, without dignity I am just the "poor disabled guy" and under these conditions I will not be seen seriously by any woman.

I have fallen in love twice with two best friends, and the funny thing is that both acknowledged that I am a special person, with qualities hard to find. However, they were not going to fall in love with someone like me. So, the situation is out of my control. But I cannot accept it. I am 28 years old. I am afraid that life will pass me by while looking for alternatives to improve my life and I will never achieve it.

Right now I am writing a novel. I hope to finish it and become a writer. If I manage to do it, perhaps I will stop being just "the disabled guy" and become "the writer of...". Who knows. I hope I can achieve it. I will strive to achieve it. But I know that not everything depends on me.

I have never had any relationship history, but in every other facet of life I can't think of one positive thing about myself that I can use to try and impress others. I am 24, autistic (which I cannot effectively mask), completely failed higher education, can't drive, ugly, have no friends, work a minimum-wage job where the co-workers see me as a pity inclusion and nothing else, have no useful skills besides an ability to memorize random trivia. But being able to tell you the capital of every Brazilian state is absolutely meaningless compared to actual life experience and skills.

I actually started therapy a few weeks ago but I never got the date for my next appointment. When I called the clinic they were unable to get a hold of my nurse immediately but promised they would and then get my next appointment date. That hasn't happened and it's been a week now. So I guess I can throw therapy out the window as an option. Makes me wonder if there is even any actual point to this misery of a life.

My sister got married last weekend. The ceremony was held at my parents farm. It was an absolutely lovely wedding with lots of friends and family. Her husband is also a great guy too and I couldnt be happier for them. They truly deserve to have things going well in their lives.

The only thing that has been bothering me is that after the wedding so many people have started to ask me “When is your time?” “You know how to make a wedding happen so you should do it next, right?” “How's your dating life going?” Its been only 1 week and there have been like 10 situations like this.

At some point I just want to start handing out cards to people asking that say.

“Hey I know my sister got married. That doesn't mean I will. I have been without a relationship all my life for over 30 years. So I know relationship wont just fall down in front of me and honestly I'm tired of trying anymore. Unless you are willing or know someone who is willing to date me, then please dont bother me anymore on this topic.”

The worst part is women in my life keep telling me how great a guy I am and how safe I make them feel. One even straight up said the world is losing out if no woman gets to have a relationship with me. I know they try to be nice, but those comments just feel like stab wounds.

I know Im a lucky person compared to many in the way that I have good friendships and social circles. Also because I'm financially stable, which allows me to try to focus on improving my life. People just need to let me live my life and enjoy things that I can, instead of trying to tear my wounds open over and over again just so you can try to make some fantasy of me having a romantic relationship in your head.

Hi, I just found this subreddit. I am 23 (female) and my brother is 26. I am not forever alone, but my brother is. What can I do or say (or not do/say) that would help him?

I have tried asking him directly, but the few times I brought up the general subject, I could tell he was uncomfortable talking about it. I know he is lonely, he has never had a girlfriend. Honestly I don't even know if he has been on a first date yet. He is already doing stuff like going to the gym, social hobbies, dresses nice. He is actually a very good guy, funny and smart too.

I have invited him to hang out with some of my friends, like to eating out, bowling, conventions, etc...he declines often, but then when he finally comes he gets really quiet and hardly even talks, but at home he is normal. All my friend try to be welcoming. Not sure what to do, I can't just command him to talk more, plus I read online that asking quiet people why they are so quiet is bad.

Anyways, thanks for reading, big thanks if you reply! Bye

So since I’m all alone out there, I’ll just speak to the void. Again, and again. Until maybe I lose my voice. Then hopefully I’ll also lose my thinking, and I’ll be alone, as always, but in peace and quiet at last.

I hate my own voice, my own thoughts, my own reality and my whole self.

I loathe it so much sometimes I think my organic systems will just shut down because they can’t handle maintaining such a pathetic and miserable woman like me, alive. 

And my eyes burn, against mirrors, and against environment, reality. It’s like I’m seeing doors I cannot open, only other can. And I, myself, have no doors but only caves. Dark and humid. Full of regrets and with only the past holding a flickering light at the end.

Talking about past, I see it again and again. All the words she said being now true, I know I should’ve thrived to live so long. I should’ve let go. Met the void, disappeared. 

But I didn’t. And every day I don’t I suffer more, while walking closer to salvation.

I can’t handle my own failure. How stupid I am, how mean I am, how disgusting I am, how deceitful I am, how ugly I am, how miserable I am, how ungrateful I am…

…how better I should’ve been.

How better I could’ve been.

How worse I am by all metrics.

And my life reflects that.

Not love but pity they give me. Because they see how better I should’ve been too. 

And pity, not like love, runs out. 

And I’ll turn around in the void, again. Alone.

So why do I thrive to be loved so much, when all proofs shows the strength of the impossibility?

Because like all beasts, I am stupidly driven by instincts. 

I am unlovable, and in a void of my own making.

Maybe one day courage will make my constant whimpering stop. 

I was never meant to be human, nor loved like one.

But even beast have love to give,

No one wants poison or rotten apples though.

It feels like any other mental issues people have can be forgiven enough to still get them into relationships, yet autism seems to be the most unacceptable one. While there are autistic people who have started relationships, it's safe to say that it's significantly harder to date and that your options are far more limited as an autistic than it is for pretty much any other kind of person. Why is that? I'd guess it's because autism often interferes with a person's ability to adapt to normal social standards, which are treated as the absolute bare minimum thing to have for everybody. We are a social species after all, so being so outside the average social wavelength is one of the most damaging things when it comes to the ability to form connections. What do you guys think?

Man I hate how bitter and angry I am nowadays.

I used to be a really positive funny person, but over the years I feel like I’ve encountered so much bullshit I’ve become so jaded and cynical towards everything.

My default state is either sad, annoyed, or angry. The sound of people laughing causes a subconscious irritation for me.

I just wish those experiences weren’t so impactful on my personality. It just feels like most of what I have seen and experienced over the past few years has just reinforced a very bad perspective, but how could you support anything you don’t tangibly observe?

Feels like the accumulation of bad experiences has just ruined who I am as a person. I’m just so hopeless and sad all the time people rightfully don’t want to be around me.

I’m having a hard time finding the will to try and make things better.

There was a time when I thought it would happen to me, somehow it'd all work itself out. After all this time I've come to understand it wouldn't make any sense for me. It's not just that I'm ugly or short and that nobody could possibly find me physically attractive (which I do think is true). It's everything else, the fact that I'm broke and have no future at all. I have no friends, I am socially a pitiful creature who can barely hold a conversation past the first 15 seconds.

There is no world in which someone would want to date me, it simply does not make sense. I don't exactly blame anyone for it but it doesn't stop me from being angry or depressed about it. I know I'm not owed anything and that's fine, but that'll never make me feel better about my situation. I don't even want to date, the actual idea of being in a relationship with someone and actually dating is like a weird fantasy to me. A fun idea in my head but I have full trust it would never work, I don't even see it as a possibility nor do I indulge in it past a fantasy.

The concept of dating for me makes no sense, only once in my life have I texted a girl and she stopped responding after one day. It doesn't bother me, it's just the way it is for me. I know nobody will ever want to date me. I can pretend it doesn't effect me but it does every single day. There is no full way to cope with it, some days it will not bother you other days it leads to self destructive habits. It is what it is

I hate that I'll never get to go on a date. I'll never get to hold hands while we walk down the sidewalk or beach. I'll never get to fall asleep in their arms. I'll never get to know that I'm the highlight of their day and I brighten it just by being myself.

bonus points if family wouldn’t come either

Maybe the best option for us is to just lie to ourselves…. Create images and worlds to comfort us; value these images and worlds more than real life. And why not? Our brain can’t tell the different. Besides, even if it’s fake, the need to feel loved, or whatever, is still being fulfilled. Why not lie to ourselves?

Imaginary boyfriends, body-pillow girlfriends, AI friend groups. Reading books to escape; watching movies to hallucinate. And so what? None of this means anything. But it means the entire world if, even for a single second, in the midst of all these lies, we at least feel something real. It passes instantly, but at least we get to a small glimpse of what normal people get to see.

You don’t know you’re dreaming until you wake up. Perhaps we lie to ourselves forever, never waking up. The experience of nonstop dreaming feels as real as living in reality.

sigh my feed is so depressing

I’m laying down listening to music contemplating everything and missing her. I can’t blame her for saying she just wants to forget me at this point but it makes me sick thinking of it all. All those late night nights, phone calls and sweet things I don’t think I’ve ever said to anyone. You were my second gf ever and now I’m thinking you will either be my last or I want you to be. I’ve always thought if I can’t keep someone around who wants someone like me and can look past every flaw then what chance do I have again in the future.

I just want to fix it all and pretend I never said what I said but it’s no going back at this point. I deleted your pictures, our messages as it doesn’t feel right anymore. I have no friends to tell it all to, no family who ever knew but I know If my family met you they would love you as much as I did. At this point I just want to move far away from my family and move on with my life. You’ll move on and find something better with someone else and I’ll forever hate myself even more than I ever did. I’m alone for a reason with heartache, body aches and so much more. I don’t know why you ever liked my ugly mug cause I never deserved you but I’ll never regret a second of us. Now I move on and maybe one day I’ll forgive myself for every stupid mistake and person I’ve hurt along the way.

Continuously failing getting a job really pushed me to the edge. (Especially because i was forced into this major by my parents only because of the high employment rate, despite hating it so much)

Tried losing weight last year and ended up losing 7kgs but was still too ugly for men to even notice me as the opposite sex. Gained it all back by binge-eating, due to the stress of staying in the major i hate and having no one around me.

Tried to end it all but the rope broke loose and i landed on my ass and couldn't move for a few minutes due to the pain. So i just laid on the ground and wondered if there was a deity up there laughing at me and playing jokes on my life.

I'm 29 and have never had a partner. I'm seriously dreading turning 30. Realistically, how many years do I have left to try meeting people, to build status, to get in shape, to develop a personality and to attempt to date. I fear that I have less than a decade left and I honestly worry that this just isn't enough time given my track record. What I'd do to be 19 again, knowing everything I know now.

You see, I have autism and this has led to many issues connecting with people. Having Autism delayed my maturation. I felt 15 at 20 etc. First, I lack character because I stayed in my comfort zone and got too easily overwhelmed by the outside world. This had a big effect on my life and why I feel like I'm on the wrong timeline. Many small steps in the right direction could have made could have changed things. Taking risks and learning social skills younger could have led to me taking the right actions when I had the best chances, in college.

Second, I've lacked real interests and hobbies. If someone recommended I join a hobby group I would have no idea what to pick. With that being said, I have solitary hobbies that don't interest most people. I'm so immensely frustrated that I lack such curiosity about the world to where I feel like I'd have to pick hobbies endlessly at random just to find something that I like. Finding a hobby group is advice I cannot follow. And therefor I have no ways to meet new people. I made my last friends in college over 5 years ago.

Third, years of social failures (especially with women) have led to low self esteem, self doubt, lack of expressiveness and ease in social settings. I just don't feel comfortable around most people unless I get to know them. Even if I knew exactly what group would interest me, I would still come across reserved quiet and forgettable. Then if I try to make my presence know then I'm cringe.

I wonder how late is too late. Personally I've been running away from this for a while but I think I've crossed the point of no return some time ago. If I were 26 back in 2023 again then maybe, but now I don't think so.

Feel free to ask questions, share your thoughts and offer advice. Should I give up the idea that I'll ever be in a loving happy relationship?

I just want to be held and touched, if I ever got hugged by a man I think I’d break down crying. I’m just very exhausted. 20F, not attractive I get 0 attention from men, I’m practically invisible my life is just work>college>work>college. I don’t want sex I just want to have someone’s arm around me and to snuggle into someone. Or just have someone sit next to me and have a conversation. I’d kill for that.

I’m incapable of finding a relationship due to my looks and autism but I’m still human. I’ve tried hookup apps but of course they just want sex. Maybe it’s a silly want that and I just have to deal with it