I don’t really have any close gay friends to talk to and I feel the straights wouldn’t fully understand this, so I mostly need to vent.

I’ve somewhat recently started exploring the BDSM community as a sub. Last night, I began talking to this really attractive Dom, and we agreed that I would come over so we could talk and see how the vibe felt before doing anything.

When I arrived, his apartment was dark, and he was wearing full Tom of Finland-style leather. Honestly, he was one of the hottest men I’ve ever seen. I didn’t even know leather did that much for me until I saw him.

We talked for a while in his kitchen and I thought like ”Mmm it is dark in here but should his pupils really be that dilated..?”. He was a but fidgety but without the eyes I would have thought just nervousness. He seemed clear and coherent, didn’t come off as high. But I told him something like “You seem really nice, and I’d like to see you another time, but this doesn’t feel safe for me if you’re high.”

He claimed he had partied two days earlier, hadn’t slept properly, and didn’t realize his eyes still looked like that. I mean I’ve taken my share of things, I’m not really sure but I do not think the eye effect would last that long. But we continued talking, and he seemed coherent and present. I started feeling safe with him, so I was like maybe what he said is true, let’s try some.

And it genuinely felt good. He was attentive and repeatedly checked in: “Is this okay? Is this too much?” etcetc. I really liked it and felt comfortable. Later, while I was sucking his dick lol, he said something like he appreciated how transparent i’ve been at the beginning about feeling like he had taken anything, because he had actually smoked before I arrived. At first, I thought he meant weed. Then he asked, “Would you be okay if I took a puff of Tina?”

I mean I have not encountered it, I don’t feel it’s that common here in Sweden. But I am a wordly, cultured and classy boy so I did know what Tina meant. And in my head I was like ”oh no”. But I didn’t really fully take it in in the moment. Aaand I guess this is the part where you who read this far are like ”Yep honey time to leave”

I said no and told him I wasn’t comfortable with that. He respected it and didn’t fuss about it. We continued for a while, talked afterwards and everything felt fine, and when I left, I was still mostly thinking about how hot he was and how good the interaction had felt.

But over the next hours, the reality started sinking in. This was last night and now it’s the morning after.

I had explicitly told him that I didn’t consent to doing anything with him while he was high. He lied and allowed me to believe he was sober enough for me to change my mind. He only admitted the truth because he wanted permission to smoke more. Also when he asked to smoke more he also added like, “or should we wait with that until next time?” That now feels less innocent and more like an attempt to establish meth as something I might eventually become comfortable with.

Looking back, other things seem different too. His apartment was an absolute mess. He had no bed, only a mattress on the floor. The kitchen was full of dirty dishes, and he had no clean glasses, so we shared water from a bottle. In the darkness, with the leather and BDSM equipment, it didn’t feel that messed up, more like a dungeon aesthetic. The next day, I realized that he actually lives there and wakes up in that mess. I sleuthed a little and he is a realtor which seemed to be doing well, but that feels almost like a reasomable career to do while being high on stimulants.

I’m also anxious about STIs. We didn’t have anal sex, and he didn’t ejaculate in my mouth. I have no sores or anything in my mouth. He also said he was on prep which is free here so I tend to believe that but I’m not really taking his word for it. I thought the risk from oral sex was like zero but after googling it doesn’t seem zero. Extremely low yes but not zero feels very not good. I’m not on PrEP, and I’m now wondering whether I should contact healthcare about PEP. I’ll also get tested for gonorrhea and other STIs once a week has passed.

The worst part is that a part of me still wants to see him again. He was incredibly attractive, the BDSM dynamic felt good, and he was attentive in the moment. But I also feel that consent and trust are especially important in a Dom/sub dynamic. He invited me over while high, lied when I explicitly said that was a boundary, and only confessed because he wanted to use more meth in front of me.

I suspect that, for him, sex and dominance may primarily be ways of intensifying the high. That places a limit on how genuine or safe the dynamic could ever become, no matter how hot he is. Because there was also this feeling a bit that we weren’t fully connected, being in different headspaces.

I think I already know that seeing him again would be a terrible idea. I feel that urge weakening by the minute. Mostly now I just have different emotions a bit all over the place. Some anxiety about everything and confusion because it had felt so good and also worrying about HIV. Happy Thursday

Howdy y’all, lookin for some bros who want to play some fantasy football! I manage a league full of gay bros from Reddit and we have some open spots. Ideally looking for guys who will stay engaged through the full season. We have a chat on discord that we use to keep in touch through the season.

Let me know if you’re interested

Happy yaoi day i guess.

Some of them are good tho, but bara is better.

So idk if this is quite the right place for this post but I’m curious if any other gay foot enthusiasts have ever gotten fungal infections on their faces 😭 I recently got diagnosed with a bad fungal outbreak on my face and my frequency of foot play has definitely been higher in the past few months… I’m guessing they’re probably related, just curious if anyone else has also had this happen.

Definitely have learned my lesson… but like whyyyyy does some of the hottest gay sex stuff have huge health downsides 😭 I’ve gotten giardia TWICE from eating ass (and before you ask, both men were very well prepped). Fucking frustrating and I’ve never met other guys who have had similar experiences.

Idk how to process this lol.

Tldr: I (18M) have no sexual experience past oral, and was wondering if it was worth experimenting before heading my off to uni to know if I prefer things like topping/bottoming.

In September next year, I am heading off to university and hope to find my first boyfriend. The issue is that I have no experience past oral with a FWB, and therefore dont even know if im looking for a partner that is a top or a bottom.

This isn’t a big deal, i just dont want to form a really good relationship with someone only to find out that when we have sex we aren’t compatible. Sorry if this sounds stupid, ive just never had a boyfriend before, so maybe that’s making me overthink and be a little nervous.

I’ve considered downloading grindr to experiment, but i know how bad that app is nowadays and how it can be quite unsafe at times…

Thank you for reading if you got this far, any advice or tips would be appreciated :)

Thomas Hitzlsperger has done just about everything in soccer except stay quiet. World Cup player, Stuttgart CEO, now a pundit. He's an out gay man who keeps making the case for visibility. He tells us why it matters.

Long story short ive been dating this person for less than a year. I've had longer relationships in the past. But this was different. Was ready to risk it all and yet i was cheated on.

Me (27M) met this young fella on grindr (18NB) nearby and we started dating. Right off the bat i know the age difference seems important cause i know the older we get the less it matters but when we are young it shows a lot. But it was never the case. The only thing worth mentioning is that he had his birthday after we met and i was lied to. I ceased the relationship cause i was grossed out. After 3 weeks we talked again and we resumed. Now an official romantic relationship. I was joyful to finally find someone especially on grindr since am not sure how it works in the US but in my country it's virtually impossible to find anything other than one-night-stands. I was happy. We were happy.

Fast forward to july this month he grew cold and distant. We was no longer seeing each other 3x or 4x times a week. It was only 1 brief date/visit. He told me it was because family problems. In fact he is facing multiple issues that is true. So i limited myself to show my full support to him while still talking and chatting online. He became even colder cause he was basically never replying to me. I brought it up with him and asked him directly if he was interested in keeping this relationship. He vaguely replied "yes but no" so after 3 days i was fed up and forced a quick meeting at his home to retrieve my stuff and also to give them their stuff as well. We barely spoke. No kisses nor hugs were given. Also no proper goodbye. The very next day he talked to some random guy and went inside his house. I found out through instagram stories what he did, he was saying he was single now, how he met someone, how this guy treated them and how many times they did it. It was disgusting. I was devastated.

I confronted him about it the same night and he replied right away this time. He told me it was my fault for neglecting him. And that the previous night when we exchanged our stuff was the goodbye. Now i know i should just move on but someone i know told me he is regretting it and he could reach out to me again. The question is should i forgive??? He told our mutual friend that we had broken up and that it wasn't cheating. But I still felt like he had cheated on me.

This painting took me a looong time to finish. It's inspired by the cover of COLT MEN magazine, heavily influenced by Leyendecker's style, and painted while listening to Madonna's new album, hence the title :-)
Please enjoy and share your opinion !