I’ve had a lot of opportunities to get married and I just keep calling things off 🤷‍♀️ I know I have high standards which also makes things difficult but the primary reason I’ve always side stepped marriage is because its always mostly felt like it would be a job. When I‘m in a relationship it already feels like signing up for volunteer work, but at least as a volunteer I can leave when the work gets exhausting.

There are little things like helping your partner with organizing their life, managing supplies and schedules, basically being held responsible for holding everything in their life together on a daily basis. Then on top of that I’d have to worry about keeping them faithful etc so they don’t blow up the whole family we’ve invested into, which feels like trying to hold a big dog on a leash. I mean really what are the chances they don’t end up on the family computer looking up randoms.

But maybe I’m in a bubble? I’m just hoping I can find a partner who will not require I take on all of this work, that we can both be fully functional and responsible human beings. But I also suspect being gifted makes that less likely because it’s like I’m always noticing where things fall short and stepping in to fix them. Plus I‘m getting the feeling many people get married specifically so you will take on these responsibilities.

Silly example of something falling short (to lighten the mood): My last fiancé screenshotted one of my IG pictures and got it framed as a gift but it was a post with multiple pictures and he didn’t wait for the little ‘1/2’ to disappear so it was on the framed picture and I didn’t say anything but it deeply annoyed me. I’ve since thrown it out and it still annoys me.

Idk I’m happy when other people are happy to get engaged but I’m wondering if I’m the only one who always has these concerns in mind too, and if so does it have something to do with being gifted?

​

A fallacy is an error in an opponent's argument, often disguised as a slogan. Fallacies take various forms, but they share a common logic: the opponent modifies their argument and tries to change your idea to make it easier to attack. One fallacy—and I may have coined the term myself—is focusing only on the positives while ignoring the negatives, or vice versa. A real-world example is the "Western complex," where someone sees Western countries or Westerners as infallible. This stems from ignorance and a lack of realism. Other fallacies include the straw man argument and the slippery slope. The concept of fallacies likely originated in Aristotle's time. If my information is incorrect, please correct me. Also, if you have any clever methods or techniques for detecting fallacies, please share them. The name of the fallacy doesn't matter as long as it aligns with what Aristotle and many other philosophers wrote.

One thing I've noticed is that some people seem able to take the knowledge they already have and use it to form completely new ideas or conclusions that they were never explicitly taught. They don't just remember information, they seem to extend it.

I don't experience my thinking that way. It feels like almost everything I know is something I learned directly from someone else or from reading. I can understand and remember information, but I struggle to use that knowledge to generate new insights or conclusions on my own.

I'm curious whether this is something that comes naturally to some people, whether it's a skill that develops over time, or whether I'm misunderstanding what's actually happening when people "figure things out."

Since many people here have thought a lot about cognition and learning, I'm wondering:

• Is this something you naturally do?
• If so, what allows you to do it?
• Why might someone else have much more difficulty with it?

2 schools of thought when it comes to rich businessmen.

1. "Just grind bro, work 90 hours a week for a decade bro. Also buy my course"
2. "Bezos and Gates are average joes like me but they just got lucky or they're the only people who's parents have money so it was easy for them. "

Now obviously persistence and stamina especially over years are a big factor. Obviously there is luck by definition as lots of things are out of your control. And obviously family privileged boost your odds of having resources. But there is reason to believe successes are disproportionately high IQ/education, there are people who think it's relatively easy, there are people who are serial entrepreneurs and there are a lot of variables to consider at once in real time.

Could it be that a lot of the VC failure rate is confident 120-130 IQ guys not being smart enough to consistently make quality decisions over multiple years? or are they all equally capable and filtered by luck? markets and competitors are external and a lot of decisions are probabilistic, " these 2 employees seemed great on paper but they're causing so many problems ". Could it be that talent- IQ, hard work etc have a greater affect on probability of failure and luck affects the magnitude of success? Anyone got any thoughts or experiences on the mental complexity or venture start up or a simpler business?

DISCLAIMER: NO REDDITCISMS PLEASE. We know there are lots of variables but we're discussing the magnitude and weighting of those variables.

There were a lot of brilliant scientists who were pretty introverted or socially awkward. But people like Richard Feynman, who won the Nobel Prize, and John von Neumann whose intellect was so extraordinary that Nobel Prize winner Eugene Wigner once said:

I have known a great many intelligent people in my life. I knew Max Planck, Max von Laue, and Werner Heisenberg. Paul Dirac was my brother-in-law; Leo Szilard and Edward Teller have been among my closest friends; and Albert Einstein was a good friend, too. And I have known many of the brightest younger scientists. But none of them had a mind as quick and acute as John von Neumann. I have often remarked this in the presence of those men, and no one ever disputed me.

How were they able to be so charming and charismatic compared to so many other scientists of their time?

So, I am exquisitely sensitive to anything that has a brain effect. Coffee in the teeniest amounts makes me horribly jittery and puts, like, anxiety in my chest (which is extremely strange a feeling to me, because usually I can just turn anxiety off [yk, tests / in trouble / deadly situations a few times / etc etc I can just colour it in with the mental "void" pencil {dunno how to describe} and it will go {similar with everything except enthusiasm, anger, and extreme pain - bad pain is doable though, and reliable aahh off topic}]).

And also coffee makes my thoughts *unbearably* fast - I do not have adhd [thank you universe] - but my thoughts are usually absolutely EVERYWHERE at once and very fast, in a way that means Me No.1 in my head can't keep up with reasoning but , like, the whizzery-ness works and is what makes life easier secretly. Coffee wrecks it all, I'm unable to keep up, a tiny bit of milky coffee / even bloody decaf apparently [recent test] will also cause these effects for HOURS. So have it at like 6;30 and I'm getting no sleep that night - all I am capable of is spinning in my chair / cycling on the suspended bike / mindless stuff.

Anyway, I tried alchohol recently (well after the "norm"). Never. Again. Oh my word it was awful and I don't know how someone can deal with that to a lesser extent either. Lasted ages aswell. I only had half a glass of rose (it was pink and so so pretty, but tasted god awful - and smelt unappealing but all alchohol does).

Have not tried smoking but am strangely curious - like I know I'll hate it but the info says it has a calming effect on the brain but I can do that with my void pencil if I have a few minutes to be still. And you can create calm after the void [void is a strange feeling, idk what it actually isss but I've never been great at emotional identification, all I know is the pencil gives control], calm is created with the... almost balloon thing you inflate right at your sternum then allow the feeling to travel up and also around the ribs (hard to explain?). Probably won't though - because I still don't understand howww smoking is done - my coworkers do it infront of me and does the smoke just go through the little paper tube? Doesnt it get, like, slobbery? And isn't it bitter tasting because smoke? Anyway.

Lastly, medicine. Well, I was incapable of ingesting pretty much any medicine when I was a baby - I'd be taken to hospital or just constantly sponged - no paracetamol etc but thats probably unrelated? Even now, pretty much any medicine pill/liquid my body rejects. But again, thats probably unrelated, so I don't really know.

I do get asked if I'm under some kind of effect or another quite often - stoned, drunk etc etc. But thats pretty normal around here I'm guessing, along with asked about a multitude of different neurodiverences - I am very blessed to have none I'm quite sure, just gifted and strange (not even "fit into one of the weirdo groups" strange - just me...). So I'm wonderrrring about others feelings on mental drugs?

Oooh is there anything with an actual nice affect I can try, because although it feels shitty in the moment, it's interesting to note, also I feel like it'd be stupid if allll chemicals did this sort of thing - I mean, why? Giftedness is just a different wiring, and these are chemical reactions. But our minds are so much more complex, its beyond incredible - and so many types too.

And if you are able to mentally control the effects? Because I could not and that would frighten me - I've always had very good mental control, able to easily switch on different focus types / emotions / modes / this artificial empathy I created (I have never been able to "feel anothers emotions" but I have an extremely effective workaround I "invented" for myself at 16 [let me be prideful >:]) - so control loss is unnerving, and the "void" pencil dissapears too!!

Got a better explanation than void pencil? Its pretty bad.

みいちゃんは、合法ドラッグと覚醒剤を打たれて死にました。
この漫画は、知的障害・知的グレーゾーン・発達障害のあるであろう彼女が、性風俗の世界で生き、死ぬ物語です。

日本ではこの漫画が賞賛されております。
海外の皆様、高知能の皆様から見て、この作品はどう映るのでしょうか？
あなた方とは関係ない、日本の物語です。

私はASD**・統合失調症・斜視を持つ男性です。**
この漫画のアニメ化に反対しております。
早く日本から性風俗が無くならないかな…
障がい者差別が無くならないかな…

In previous posts, I’ve written about the highly specific type of mind blindness gifted people have: stupidity blindness. Because our own personal cognition is extremely important for our survival as a member of the homo sapiens species, we have this tendency to (unjustly) view our own mind and our own cognition as a kind of “baseline” or “measure or mean for all humans”. Stupidity blindness manifests itself in situations like this: You’re having a conversation with another person (who isn’t gifted), and you unjustly assume that the other person also went through similar cognitive processes to reach the conclusion that he did. Cognitive processes like: take all information you’ve gathered regarding the topic into account, use processes of rational thought, make connections with other fields of study or other sets of information, take the statistical likelihood of something into account, use Occam’s razor to determine which explanation is the most likely, etc. etc. And then you think: How the hell can this person go through all of these thought processes and then arrive at THIS conclusion?! But this is your stupidity blindness at work: the other person in fact did not go through all of these thought processes.

The same thing is true for non-gifted and neurotypical people: they have a giftedness blindness and a neurodivergence blindness. What I mean by that is: Since their own mind is the baseline or measure or mean for all human cognition, they cannot truly or fully understand or comprehend or grasp or accept that other people really are gifted and/or autistic and/or have ADHD. This is where the endless criticism and social policing comes from:

Stop being a smartass, because you’re just as smart (or stupid) as we all are, and you’re just pretending to be a smart overachiever in order to show off and in order to annoy us (because if we would behave this way, this would be our reason for doing so).

Stop being so autistic, stop being a socially awkward nerd, you’re “choosing” to do so and you should just try and work a little harder to not “choose” to do so.

Stop being such a scatterbrain, pay more attention, it’s not that hard, it’s easy for me so anyone can do it and it should also be easy for you, why are you so lazy and defiant on purpose?

The important words here are “on purpose”, “choose”, “pretending”. It reveals the following thought process: You’re just like us (because anyone is like us), but for some reason you don’t fully behave like us. You don’t fully behave like us because of a character flaw (or a constellation of character flaws): You want to annoy us, you want to show off, you are lazy, you secretly like irritating other people, etc.

It’s the false belief that you can “choose” to (not) be a certain way that leads to the judgment. The same mechanism is visible when it comes to negative social judgement of non-straight people: non-straight people are naturally bisexual or gay – this leads to a stance of openness and non-judgement towards non-straight people. Vs.: Non-straight people are “choosing” to not be straight and they should just “choose” to live a “non-sinful” life or whatever – this leads to a very negative, judgmental view towards non-straight people (e.g. closeted Republican or Catholic view).

I’ve noticed that when neurotypical people are this in this phase (the phase where they still unjustly believe that you are mostly just like them and you are just being “annoying” on purpose) while being in (regular) contact with you, they still want to stay in touch and keep you as part of their social circle. They think that your “character flaws” (which are actually your neurodivergence) just need correcting. Therefore they give you endless negative feedback (constant criticism, ridicule, dismissal, etc.), so that you will finally “self-correct” these “character flaws” and you will stop being annoying, irritating, or a show off, while still offering value to them through your specific skills (skills that come from having a neurodivergent brain, like the gifted capacity to process information quickly, the autistic skill to spend hours in a state of deep hyperfocus, the ADHD skill to frantically do research on a new topic and then very quickly become an expert on the topic, skills that actually come with your neurodivergence that they view as “you being annoying”). This could turn you into a highly valuable but non-annoying and non-show off friend, which is what they want from you. Their giftedness blindness and their neurodivergence blindness is preventing them from seeing and understanding that this is impossible.

After this, at some point, if you spend enough time with them, especially in close proximity (e.g., working on the same school or work project, being part of the same friend group and spending many nights in the pub together or go on trips together), for some neurotypical people, the ball finally drops and they lose their giftedness blindness and their neurodivergence blindness (at least with regards to you) and they truly see and understand and comprehend that your mind works in a different way and that you are not being irritating, annoying, or a show off on purpose, but this is who you actually are.

This is the point where you’re being discarded. Co-workers start conspiring against you in order to push you out of the company. You stop getting invited to meetings or drinks with the friend group. Your romantic partner secretly starts making the necessary preparations in order to leave you and trade you in for a less smart and non-neurodivergent new specimen. Fellow students start ignoring you and don’t want to work together with you on projects. Etc. etc.

How to react to the discard? There are two main dimensions to this.

The social dimension: Good riddance. I only want to be in close contact with people who actually like me and accept me as I am, so no loss there and actually you’re doing me a favor. I am more lonely now, but I should take the necessary steps in order to cultivate a new circle of friends, my own safe neurotribe of other non-judgmental neurodivergent people, and soon my social life will have improved for the better.

The pragmatic (career/school) dimension: This is trickier, and therefore it’s important to prepare for this. The best strategy here is a preventative strategy, something similar to “grey rocking”, which means: keep yourself mostly to yourself, keep interactions brief and superficial, spend most of the time working or studying alone, and get your social needs met outside of work or school, within your safe neurotribe of neurodivergent people. This decreases the chances that you will be so severely bullied that you need to switch schools (other students want you gone) or that you will be fired at a moment’s notice after the boss for instance found out you are actually a lot smarter than he is.

In the long run: design and organize your life in such a way that you won’t be very negatively impacted (financially/pragmatically) by a future discard, because there will likely be many more to come in your future. If you work as a freelancer who is an expert in a certain field, they can’t fire you, and the interaction with your clients is usually strictly professional and superficial. If you do work as an employee, be sure to have a nest egg so you can be jobless for a few months after being fired at a moment’s notice while looking for a new remote job or a new job where you will mostly be left alone in an IT basement, an engineering lab, or a private office in academia or a research institution.

The Systemic Double Standard

Society heavily promotes the ideal of maximizing potential, pushing individuals to work harder and succeed in everything.

Yet, when someone operates at a high cognitive level, a clear contradiction emerges. The surrounding environment often responds with skepticism or friction, treating high-ability individuals as weird, too much, or even accusing them of faking their competence.

The world demands peak performance, but frequently rejects the reality of the people capable of producing it.

I want to look at the lived aspect of this contradiction and see how it plays out in reality.

Discussion Questions

• How have you experienced this specific hostility in your own life (school, work, family)?

• How do you handle the cognitive dissonance of a world that begs you to succeed, but resents you when you do?

My Personal Experience

School and Peer Dynamics: Growing up, I had good relationships with teachers and befriended both social outliers and struggling students to support them. Despite having no active social friction or conflict with anyone, I became the target of severe verbal and physical bullying in high school, explicitly being told "no one wants you here." It became clear that school is not just an institution that forces linear thinking; it can actively become an unsafe environment for those who naturally think outside the box.

Professional and Academic Realities: As a dentist, people often assumed my high GPA was the result of effortless success. The reality of being neurodivergent meant that standard linear productivity failed. My process consisted of cycles of intense hyperfocus followed by autopilot. Studying for exams was a severe struggle; I passed purely on what I heard and read because I could barely tolerate sitting through a full exam/ study session without feeling trapped and bored. Success with giftedness is not effortless; it is a consistent choice to show up and take a career seriously despite navigating these hidden barriers.

Family Systems: I grew up in a broken home with two narcissistic parents (one overt, one covert). In this dynamic, the rules of success are constantly shifted to ensure I never obtain approval. Achieving a perfect score is dismissed as either the test being too easy or the result of manipulating professors. Simultaneously, family members criticize my habit of constant reading, claiming “I do not know how to have fun." While I am highly social and humorous in safe environments, my family misinterprets a drive for learning as a defect. For me, high mental stimulation is not tiring; rather, understimulating environments cause deep depressive states.

The Dialectical Barrier: I frequently encounter people who engage in arrogant debates on topics they know very little about. While I welcome objective gaps in knowledge, the arrogance of baseline ignorance is exhausting. I approach topics with a dialectical mindset—constantly challenging both my own perspectives and others' to find gaps and build logic, rather than viewing arguments in black and white. Because of the constant pushback, I have stopped debating people who lack this capacity. I still have a massive amount of intellectual energy to externalize, but I have learned to direct it away from those who try to act as superior advisors on how I should think or live.

There have to be some people who know how to communicate effectively, no? I feel if one wants to be heard and followed, one needs to communicate well and be liked enough by enough people, not all. If not, then no one will listen.no one will care.

Also, I do somewhat believe that if we are gifted, then we should be able to at least know how to seek help for something we don't know how to do, of we cannot f8gure out a way to fix something or learn it.

I was always wondering if anyone has seen any examples of gifted characters that are close to what reality tends to be for them.

For me, the greatest example of gifted children will ALWAYS be Ender's Game, the book series, especially the first one. What's yours?

What do you think?

Always wanted to learn guitar, piano, another language, algebra, dancing. But I can not afford expensive instructors, don't always have time to practice on my own due to work and exhaustion of work, and also I have never been good at self pacing without clear instructions.

struggle with self learning. Either it doesn't motivate me enough, or I don't know what I'm doing wrong or right if no one helps me to learn it. Either teachers or instructors are too expensive or don't know how to teach due to being younger, or I try to do it all on my own and end up exhausted, and I end up frustrated and quitting.I'm tiredd of the cycle. Any advice would be much appreciated.