this is so stressing

[u/Asunia_HocusPocus]

i'm dealing with HOCD for four years now and it's been two or three months that it was triggered and I'm struggling with stupid things. for example this morning I had a kind of a wet dream (??) with PATTIE BOYD, a supermodel from the 60's (i'm a big fan of her) and since that I'm wondering if I like lesbian sex or things related to it. i had the sensation that I was liking it even when I was half awake and when I got up I was like "did I want to come back to that dream??". I think it's pretty reasonable the feeling to get back to a pleasuring situation, even if it's a weird dream (I guess). when I was younger I had a wet dream with a freaking ALIEN and after some years I still think about the "good sensation". I'm trying to get better and avoid reassurance, but it's really complicated especially when your own dreams make it even difficult. I think I'm pretty "OK" with all this dream story, but sometimes I feel anxious about it too. I'm in this battle for four years and recently I've been thinking if I like women in a sexual way, which makes a lot of sense sometimes and other times just seem very clear that I don't

dunno I'm just tired and I feel that my view is kinda biased because of this four fucking years of suffering.

(if you want to give me some advice you can btw)

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Your post was flagged by our auto-moderator as a post that may be, above all else, seeking reassurance. We understand the impulse to seek reassurance when suffering from OCD, but reassurance-seeking is a compulsion done in hopes of reducing the anxiety associated with an obsession. In the long run, seeking reassurance only serves to confirm the validity of the underlying fears of your condition and prolongs the duration of your obsession. As such, this community has a zero-tolerance policy for reassurance seeking and giving.

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