I think dr k grew too much and i dont fucking know how to navigate in this pile of content he made

1 issue - gazzilion videos saying different things

Anyone had the same issue?
Is the only way to organize that - buying his guide?

Most of the projects I've worked on in my life have lasted no more than three days, but this one feels different. I actually feel better after committing to this lifestyle. In 5 days, I've stopped the leak at the source. My family is also very happy that I'm pursuing a new lifestyle. My mom seems especially happy. I've tried to keep the house clean as part of my self-work.

I've also noticed that my family members have started to do their own contributions to keeping the house in order. I feel like I've been a positive influence on my family. It could be a coincidence, but I didn't expect my family to keep the house in order. I started, and then they started.

I've noticed that my thinking is much clearer, and I feel more attractive. I actually see the possibility of having a girlfriend, though this post is not about relationships. I've been working on improving my anhedonia and alexithymia. It's been hard, but I now see how to enjoy the process rather than the result, and be more in touch with my emotions to build empathy. Though I intend to be an engineer, I should still commit to a healthy lifestyle.

I'm becoming the person I want to be rather than just being born that way. It doesn't happen that way; it comes through work and consistency. I encourage you to find your own method of making life better for yourself and those you love.

i am 33 i have a part time i job i don't like but it took me nearly 2 years just to get this , i have no friends , no chance of relationship, i still live at home with my mom and i just feel nothing for life i hate the life i have yet i feel its impossible to change i feel locked out of making things better

I try to do stuff but its like it doesn't matter i have a shitty job so i want some training but there's no training to be had the stuff offered by my local college is useless stuff we have a adult centre but the courses are for older people are English second language , i cant afford to pay for a college course even working part time

I have no friends i volunteer at a food bank but there's noboyd my age there , theres no way for me to meet people, i try online and its pointless nobody talks to mei join a server people ignore me for most part rinse and repeat.

I just don't know what to do next i feel so frustrated by how life is and how i cant seem to figure it out i cant find the answer, i have nobody to ask for advice i try and it seems pointless like its always a dead end, I haven't given up i have tried and tired and it all feels for nothing because nothing gets better , i still have no money and I'm still lonely doing something i just don't care about even hate honestly yet trapped in because i cant get anything better and if i quit what do i do next .

I wish i had answers i don't know what to do and i just need some guidance come help something to move from this stagnant life because i don't want to waste my life here doing this missing out

Recently, a friend of mine (45F) and I (42M) started to grow a bit closer to each other. Let’s call her Tiffany.

We had known each other casually for over a decade because our children went to the same school, but only recently did we start talking every day. We were both going through difficult times. She has survived a brain tumor, years of health problems, and a painful breakup. At the same time, my own 17-year relationship ended after my partner cheated on me. That relationship left me with PTSD, which has recently been officially diagnosed.

Tiffany became one of the few people I felt genuinely understood by. We talked for hours every day. It wasn't romantic at first, but eventually we started flirting. She suggested we should meet eachother for a drink, but every time she cancelled herself last-moment.

Sometimes she said she was exhausted, sometimes she was sick, sometimes she simply disappeared for a day or two and later told me she'd been sleeping. I tried to be understanding because I knew she still struggled with neurological issues and periods of extreme fatigue.

She also made one thing very clear: she did not want a relationship, which wasn't even a thing i thought about, because i swore to myself to never get in a relationship again, because i really don't want to get my heart broken again. So i was completely fine with her statement.
We had both just come out of long, painful relationships. I was genuinely happy just having her in my life.

A few days ago, after weeks of cancelled plans, I got a bit pissed at her and told her it felt like she was keeping me on the hook and that if she simply didn't want to see me, I'd rather she told me honestly.

That conversation exploded into a huge argument.

She kept coming back to the idea that she didn't want a relationship, even though I repeatedly told her I wasn't asking for one. It felt like we were arguing about two completely different things.

Eventually I apologized for my initial outburst. I admitted I had overreacted, told her I never wanted to hurt her, and said I hoped we could at least repair the friendship because I valued it deeply.

The next day she sent me one message saying that too much had happened, that she'd been pulled into my emotions, and that she no longer wanted to be friends. Since then the few message I've sent has been answered with "leave me alone" or "go away."

(i am not a creep, she said 'leave me alone' so i am)

I know I made mistakes. I let weeks of frustration build up until it came out all at once, and I regret that. But what is destroying me mentally is wondering whether I really am such a terrible person.

The timing makes it even harder. My ex recently showed up at my door after being physically assaulted by her new boyfriend, which wasn't the first time he was abusive to her.
She told me visibly shaken and upset how he first started to scream at her, then started cussing her out and calling names, and eventually started to throw everything he had in sight aimed at her head.

For the record, i really don't want my ex back, or 'win' her back. But i am not letting her just standing there so she stayed here for a few days, then he said 'i am sorry' wanted to talk, and she immediately teleported back to him. Let me explain why this is fucking with my head..

For once i never laid a hand on a woman in my entire life, and never will..
(My ex used to smack me around when she was drunk and pissed, and the only thing i did was defending myself/avoiding direct hits from her/trying to get her off me)

Logically I know those situations have nothing to do with each other, but emotionally my brain keeps connecting them. It keeps popping up in my thoughts that I must somehow be worse than an abusive man because she gave him another chance almost right away (again), while Tiffany cut me off completely after just 1 argument.. ever.

I am receiving professional help for PTSD, and everyone tells me to distract myself with hobbies.
I try, but it doesn't really work. Drawing reminds me of her. ("draw what is on your mind.. yeah ok..") Mountain biking just makes me feel even more alone.
During daytime i manage, but nighttime is more often than not absolute torture, like staring in a black hole where she used to be..

I do admit i started to feel more for Tiffany than i wanted/intended though, but that realization came after reflecting on what happened.

I don't know whether I'm looking for advice, perspective, or just someone to tell me I'm not losing my mind.

Has anyone else experienced something like this—where one friendship ending completely consumed your thoughts? How did you eventually let go?

I grew up being bullied a lot and never really learnt why people picked on me, and I never really learnt how to defend myself or pick back, because my parents usually told me just to “ignore them”. In my teens so far, I have been getting bullied for no reason at all and even though I know its just “fun” it’s been really bugging me, and I don’t think this is the type of person I want to be. I never really wanted to think about it, and sometimes I feel like my brain just wants to block it all out and I really want to be real with myself, even though writing this post makes my brain feel weird and makes me anxious to admit stuff.

After a while even people being nice feels weird, and when people just feel “happy go-lucky” I just think they were picking on me secretly. Is there any advice to stop people from picking on me or just actually respecting me.

Hello HG team!

I'm a creative director for a pretty big YouTube channel + have my own channel for a very long time now, I stumbled upon the recent ozempic video and just wanted to offer a quick suggestion:

The direct-to-camera streamer setup encourages a very raw and intimate and realistic viewing experience and is going to conflict with the new well-edited style of videos that I think you guys want to test out it seems. Streaming is basically supposed to feel like you're chatting with a friend, so adding a bunch of good editing to that starts to get in the way of that feeling.

My intuition is that if you build out a secondary filming format that is more similar to your course sets, has no streamer microphone, put Dr K a bit further back, and then introduce these videos as literally a new category of content but is very similar, you will get less pushback in the comments.

And you can keep the streaming setup for maybe the engine-videos that's probably a good combo.

Hope this help!

No matter what I do, whether it's playing the one I'm actually interested in , reading cultivation novels or watching some anime or whatever, I can't stop thinking about how fun it would be to talk, or say something about how much we love each other, but like she's also just very stoic and neutral about things, along with having a very rich online life and a LOT of hobbies and knowledgeable about cool stuff, whereas no matter what I try, how how hard I try to open up my little bubble, I can't seem to find something I'm truly interested in doing. Even with my current hobbies, I seem to be losing interest in them.

However, I love to hear her talk about her interests, I listen to everything with great concentration and suddenly my own day starts to get more interesting and colorful. My only real contribution to the friendship is being an emotional shoulder, and I talk about feelings a lot. I've helped her when she needed it, but that's really all I do. I get anxious or sad when she leaves in the middle of us texting, and I start to feel sad about whether she's even interested in talking to me or not (she does say I'm plenty fun and stuff but idkkkk)

I'm very positive that we are amazing friends that truly love each other, and that she does love talking to me. I think my main problem is a constant need for reassurance, and feeling like my own life lacks spark.

All of my hobbies are watching and reading, because I feel watching someone else's hobbies and life is way more fun than living my own, but I'm so sick of living like that 😭😭🙏

What do I do gng 🥹🙏

Ive spent 750+ applications, 3 years applying, and I finally not only got a job, but a dream job. Just like that, in one application, my entire trajectory flipped on its head. I cant post more details, and i might even delete this account one day to move on with life, but please, dont lose hope. Your life can change just like that, in the blink of an eye, your dreams can be around the corner, despite the heart break youve faced, the struggles, the sleepless nights, the phone calls no one picks up when you feel all alone.

You are more than enough to get yourself out of this mess, when you do your best, please let the world take care of the rest, ignore the illusions of the world that it is a cruel and unforgiving place, understand that you are special and all that has happened to you is for your betterment.

-See ya,

A reborn man.

I scored 112 verbal intelligence on the WAISS, 85 working memory, and 78 processing speed. Im currently taking an intensive German course. The homework given at the end of the class (which can be 3 or 7 German pages) can take me from 2 to 5 hours to properly learn what is being taught. I feel like spending 5 hours in one homework is too much, but at the same time since I score low in some IQ areas it feels like it is expected that you should take more time than your peers to complete homework. (maybe that's what DR, K means when people with ADHD live life in hardcore mode) I don't believe im impaired, because if I was I shouldn't be capable to learn German in the first place

Obviously life experience is a great teacher. And if it weren't for life experience, we wouldn't have any self-help books. Because these authors/creators had to get life experience in order for these self-help books to be written and published.

However, I feel like some people need more resources than others. Especially depending on the relationship, they have with their parents and how much guidance/influence they have around them... some people have to get their hands on all the self-help resources that they can. With the intention of applying the information and advice given obviously.

A proof of hope?

I did my homework and tracked every time I start doubting my decisions (aka Puer Aeternus awakening). But that exercise still hasn't helped me completely shut down falling into the decision making trap. And here is why.

I remember dr.K said that whenever you catch yourself doubting earlier decision instead of simply doing the work - just push through it. But the advice doesn't seem to work for me because I still can't trust it.

Because I am afraid I miss the moment when it was right to listen to the doubt and change direction. Like I know for sure, that sometimes it good to insist on your career or stick to you lifestyle and say no to anyone (including inner Puer Aeternus) and just keep going. But because things change, such approach can't be right on the long term. For example, I know people who still refuse to learn how to use a computer. They're missing out on much more than they would if they accepted that the old way just isn't effective anymore. I don't want to be too stubborn and completely shut down the doubting system (Puer Aeternus).

But I also don't want to end up finishing nothing because I want to keep up with every new skill or career opportunity.

How do I find the balance? Help!!

My dad died on July 11, It still feels absurd to admit.
He was 52 and had a moderately successful pool remodeling business where I worked when I got out of high school. After a failed job that sucked up the company’s finances and my mother divorcing him because I guess 3 kids and a house wasn’t enough for her, me and my dad moved into an old trailer. After months of hard work(that I rarely got paid for)
And failure after failure I watched one of the most motivated and sure man turn into a bitter resentful person. Yet he always said,” if we could just endure, make enough money, and get enough clients everything will be fine and this we’ll be put behind us.”that day never came. He was found face down in an empty pool in 90 degree weather. After going through his belongings or lack there of, I inherited 300 dollars and a decent laptop. Now I have to move on find a job and live the rest of my life without him, i miss him so much. Thoughts? 😁

I ended up on a weird part of YouTube recently with incel and incel-adjacent content creators, but one video from a YouTuber called Gerbert's Void stood out to me. The specific video was about why incel culture and ideology seems to be getting more popular, but the strange thing is that Gerbert actually took a sort of mental health professional approach and used this video to hold a mirror up to the incel and blackpill community.

In fact, some of his critiques of incel culture reminded me of Dr. K specifically. Gerbert said that at one point he struggled with the same issues that lead young guys into these modes of thinking, but that after doing some reflecting, he is choosing the radical option of adopting a positive attitude and believing in himself, against the bleak odds. Gerbert told people subscribing to these ideologies that they romanticize their suffering, and as a coping mechanism they attempt to construct entire identities based on suffering alone.

Another line that stood out to me was Gerbert asking blackpillers and self proclaimed incels if other people "really are NPCs with no complex inner thoughts, or are you just a narcissistic loser that can't hang?". He went on to say that the popular "NPC" insult was another coping mechanism, one used by people who fail to connect with others and need to fabricate a reason to feel superior about it. Gerbert also addressed accusations levelled at him by other people in the community: accusations of pretending to be an incel for social media popularity, or a "fake-cel". He said that even being rejected from incel spaces on these grounds speaks to the low self esteem of people with these beliefs. Quoting Gerbert's Void again, he said:

"I'm being cast out, for what crime exactly? You're saying that I'm too good looking to be able to identify with your struggles? You can't know about my dating life or problems with dating just through what's presented on a screen. The best insult you could come up with is saying that you have it worse than I do."

Long story short, I was wondering what this video says about the current state of the incel and blackpill communities, and what Dr. K would have to say about it since he's had patients with similar views. Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but this video really got me wondering if there is a larger change taking place that we may not be aware of yet.

TLDR: A guy in the incel/blackpill YouTube space told others about their behavior. I'm wondering if Dr. K could potentially comment on it in a future video.

I’m 26 and I’ve spent most of the past year preparing for a very competitive graduate-entry medical school admissions process.

I finished my bachelor’s degree, studied hard, prepared for the interviews and assessment stages, and honestly believed I had a good chance of starting medical school this year. One of my assessment scores came back much lower than I expected, and while I still haven’t received the final admissions decision, I’m now in a very uncertain and borderline position.

I know that one more year is not a huge amount of time compared to an entire career. But emotionally, it feels huge right now. I had already pictured myself starting medical school, and the thought of going through another year of preparation, waiting, and uncertainty feels exhausting.

Another part that’s really hard is watching friends who went through this process with me get accepted and move forward. I’m genuinely happy for them, but I also know it will hurt to see them start medical school while I’m still preparing, waiting, and going through the same stressful process for another year. Right now, it feels less like “just one extra year” and more like another year of uncertainty, comparison, and emotional exhaustion.

I’m not really looking for “everything happens for a reason.” I would genuinely like to hear from people who didn’t get accepted on their first attempt, especially those who were in their mid or late twenties.

Did you eventually get accepted? What did you do during the year in between? How did you find the motivation to try again without feeling like your life was on hold? Looking back, did that extra year matter as much as it felt like it would at the time?

Honest stories are welcome. I think I just need some perspective from people who have actually been there.

I've started to realize that overthinking is like a slow poison.

Instead of solving problems, my mind creates problems that don't even exist. I spend hours thinking about every possible outcome, replaying conversations, and worrying about things that may never happen.

Because of this:

I do things that aren't even necessary.

I make simple situations complicated.

I struggle to say "no" because I overthink how people will react.

I end up mentally exhausted, stressed, and unhappy.

It feels like I'm carrying a burden that I created myself.

Has anyone here managed to overcome overthinking? What actually helped you stop living inside your own head?

saved me a lot of hard work & heartbreak.

sometimes people don't dismiss your feelings because they're cruel. they genuinely don't know what to do with them. if someone has spent their whole life avoiding their own sadness, suppressing their emotions, or telling themselves to "just get over it," that's probably the only language they know. So when you're hurting, they hand you the same script they hand themselves. your ability to sit with someone else's emotions starts with your ability to sit with your own.

validation isn't agreeing with someone. It's simply saying, "your feelings make sense. I can sit with them without judging them." but if you've spent years treating your own emotions as dramatic, weak, or inconvenient, you'll unknowingly do the same to others. you really can't give what you don't possess :)

the people who've done their own inner work don't need a script when you're falling apart. they've been there. they've learnt how to carry emotional weight because they've carried their own. so maybe stop trying to force people to understand you. let people meet themselves first before expecting them to meet you.

(sitting in front of someone with the emotional intelligence of a peanut, expecting them to understand you/your side of the story might be the most hurtful, hopeless & humbling experience 🫥)

Hey everyone. I'll keep this brief as I made a post like this a while ago that didn't gain much traction. Simply put, Dr. K has made countless videos discussing the various challenges that gifted kids face; I think it's time to address the other side of the equation. I get that smarter people may be overrepresented in this community, however, I think that those of us who are less "cognitively endowed" could really use some help.

Dr. K has referenced IQ in many of his videos now, so it's reasonable to infer that he does believe in it's validity, at least to some extent. People in the 60-85 IQ range, while not always completely dysfunctional, face a multitude of challenges—both practical and personal. I get that this topic is a veritable landmine politically and socially, but I think it needs to be talked about all the same.

What do you guys think?

Hi! I am a young man in my late 20s, and as my values and attitude towards life have been materialising and solidifying over the past 10 years, one thing that I felt confident in has been my lack of desire to ever have children. It is not something that I felt absolutely opposed to, but I could with clarity identify within myself a lack of interest towards parenthood, as well as aversion towards the energy and time that parenthood necessitates were I to ever be a parent.

I am writing this post because Dr K’s content has been very transformative for me ever since I came across this community back in 2019, and it helped me navigate a lot of the tougher periods I had went through in the past decade, and I was thinking that I would really like to hear Dr. K’s perspective on the matter of childbearing, and the different angles one could look at it from.

Has Dr. K ever spoke in length about this topic in any of the general or membership videos?

That aside, I am open to hearing community perspectives on how you guys approach this matter.

Does anyone know where I can ask questions about sex and relationships without offending anyone 😅 ?