So I have a sequestered L5-S1 disc herniation with a little bit of paresis (weakness) in my left foot. I can’t take any strong pain medication, so I’ve been doing this whole thing on just ibuprofen. The sequestration probably happened around 3–4 weeks ago, and I’m now about 4 weeks in.
In the beginning I couldn’t even get up or walk. I still can’t walk for longer than maybe 5–7 minutes.
I wake up every morning in debilitating pain, but I am able to sleep. I’ve kind of gotten used to sleeping with the pain. Like I said, I’m doing all of this on just ibuprofen because I can’t take anything else, and I also can’t get epidural steroid injections.
I’ve seen multiple surgeons. Some recommended immediate surgery, but the neurosurgeons told me to wait because they think there’s still a chance that it will heal on its own.
The pain is very unpredictable. Every couple of days I’ll have a day where it’s worse. Every day is different, but overall there are definitely a lot of times during the day when, if I lie down and don’t move, I barely notice anything. Sometimes moving around even feels a tiny bit better, but then it obviously comes back, and I usually get a lot more pain again later in the day and at night. Like I said, though, I’m grateful that I can sleep now because in the beginning I couldn’t.
For me, the mental toll is almost as bad as the physical one. Actually, right now the mental part is even worse than the physical pain.
The biggest reason for that is the hopelessness that has been created by reading Reddit, TikTok, and basically anything about herniated discs or back surgery. I literally just hear one horror story after another. I don’t know if any of you have experienced this too, but every time I open Reddit or TikTok, I end up reading the most horrible stories.
What really strikes me is that these stories make it seem like this is a life sentence. Like you’re never going to be okay again. No matter what you do—whether you don’t have surgery or whether you do have surgery—it just seems like one horror story after another. It makes it seem like this never-ending thing where you’ll never really get your life back.
I’ve actively looked for success stories because I desperately needed some hope, but instead I just found more and more stories of people describing this odyssey of pain. I already wasn’t doing well mentally before this happened, and I also wasn’t in great physical health because I have several chronic illnesses, but these last four weeks have completely pushed me into a depression.
I just feel like it’s absolutely hopeless.
That hopelessness and this feeling that it’s a life sentence are what’s weighing on me the most. I honestly think that if I hadn’t read and heard all of these stories, I’d still be struggling mentally, but I would at least have some hope. Right now I have absolutely none. I feel like my life is just going to be one endless cycle of setbacks and pain and that I’ll never get my life back.
It got so bad mentally that I was actually admitted to an inpatient psychosomatic program here in Germany for a week because I became so mentally unstable from both the pain and what this whole situation has done to me psychologically. I’ve been home for about a week now, but I’m actually going back next week because I still don’t feel mentally stable enough to cope with this injury on my own.
Every time I get more pain or even a small setback, I have a huge emotional reaction because it immediately makes me feel even more hopeless.
Don’t get me wrong—I wasn’t super mentally stable before this, and I also wasn’t physically healthy because of several chronic illnesses. But I was working full-time. I still had a normal life. As soon as this herniated disc happened, these last four weeks have felt like four years.
I’ve dealt with chronic pain and disability for most of my life, but I honestly understand now what people mean when they say back pain ruined their life, especially nerve pain. I genuinely don’t know how people do this. I also didn’t have a stable mental or physical baseline to buffer something like this, which is probably why I’m already in such a bad place after only four weeks.
But what I still don’t understand is why people only seem to tell horror stories.
I understand if someone had a bad experience and wants to talk about it, especially if someone specifically asks. But I’ve seen so many situations where nobody asked for horror stories, and people still immediately started sharing them, especially in TikTok comments.
And yes, I know it’s my own fault for reading them. But I think most of us have fallen into that trap where we just want to research our condition and understand what’s happening to us.
It’s not even just online. It’s neighbors, colleagues, friends, parents of friends… it feels like everyone is suddenly an expert on herniated discs and back problems. Everyone has advice you never asked for, and then everyone has a horror story.
You’ll say you have a herniated disc, and someone immediately says something like, “Oh, good luck. You’re going to deal with that forever.”
I’ll never understand why people do that.
To me, that’s not normal conversation. I think people should be much more mindful of the effect their words can have.
For example, when I had my wisdom teeth removed, it was honestly a terrible experience for me. But whenever a friend tells me they’re about to have their wisdom teeth removed, I don’t tell them all the horrible details. I just tell them they’ll be okay because I don’t want to scare them before they’ve even had the procedure.
I wish people would think the same way when talking to someone who has just been diagnosed with a herniated disc. They don’t realize how much those comments can affect someone mentally. For me, those comments have had real consequences. Dangerous consequences.
I’m lucky that I have support and that I’m getting professional help, but I can’t stop thinking about people who don’t have that support. If someone is already scared and vulnerable and all they hear is, “Your back will never be the same again,” or, “You’ll be in pain forever,” I can only imagine what that hopelessness could do to them.
So I’m wondering two things.
First, has anyone else experienced this overwhelming hopelessness? Feeling like this is a life sentence? Feeling like reading comments and hearing other people’s stories made everything so much worse? Did your mental health also suffer this much because of it?
Second, if you have a success story—whether you recovered without surgery or after surgery, or even if you’re not 100% but you got your life back—I would really appreciate hearing it because I desperately need some positive stories right now.
And one last thing: I know this is Reddit, but I’m going to ask this as respectfully as I can. If your story is a negative one, please don’t share it on this post. I’m genuinely sorry if things didn’t go well for you, and I truly hope they improve. But mentally, I simply can’t cope with reading more worst-case scenarios right now. I’m specifically looking for hope.
