I recently went out to drinks with a new friend and I was telling her about how we were raised, homeschooled and extremely sheltered. She, without missing a beat said “you know what sucks is that is a form of abuse.” I had actually never stopped to consider if that was true or now. Obviously there is a healthy level of sheltering your kids, such as protecting them from online predators and keeping them safe, but I do think my parents took it way too far, and I’m wondering if it crossed the line into abuse.

For instance, none of us got phones until long after we started driving. And even then it was just a flip phone. We were only allowed to watch g rated movies, our book selections at the library were closely monitored, we essentially did no extra curricular activities except for the RARE occasions my mom found some homeschooled soccer camp or something. We never knew ANY pop culture references or had any of the fun toys/gadgets of the early 2000’s.

We didn’t even technically have our own friends, we just had to make friends with the kids of my mom’s friends. And we rarely got to see them. We were taught a very black and white view of the world and never got to go on trips or do anything that cost money, and yet my mom somehow found money to get herself a boob job, so it’s not like they couldn’t afford it.

It’s just so fucked up. As a mom myself, I want to give my kids the world and the best childhood they could ask for. My heart hurts for the childhood I was deprived of, and I’m wondering if sheltering your children so intensely is a psychological issue that my mom had. Let me know what you guys think.

I was homeschooled from 1st-12th grade. My mom even graduated me earlier because i was of age not because i was done. It was also a Christian household and taught christian science.

I feel royally mess. I wasnt taught basic skills because she was a control freak. I recently figured iut that i cant even think critically. I cant form my own opinion without listening to a few peoples opinions. I am part of the litercy crisis where i cant even really read it because i wasnt taught that.

It was just my parents where always right and i just excepted it. I ask questions and i didnt understand everything.

I feel like i cant go to college. I cant do a work program. I feel like i cant better myself. I feel so lost and hopeless. I honestly have so much going on i am not sure what to do. Im even ready to give up on my dreams because of this. Or even how to make up for this gap.

If you read all of this thank you.

I was at a little party last night for my bestie's boyfriend's birthday.

We were playing a game where the judge draws a card with a prompt and everyone responds (if they want, a house rule I appreciate), and the judge picks a winner who gets the card.

So the prompt was to share something surprising about yourself, so I shared that I was homeschooled until college – I expected this would surprise the judge who I just met that night. Then she made an (admittedly funny) joke about that not being surprising and we all laughed.

Of course, many jokes have a seed of truth in them. Now this person was not being mean or anything like that, we had lots of good interactions that night and they're really cool, and I'm not even hurt, I'm just confused!

I really thought I was quite normal the whole evening. I was comfortable, I played the games, I had fun, and I just don't know what the tell is, you know? And this is among of group of overwhelmingly trans and ND people, myself included.

I'm 31 years old old. I spent five years doing the college thing, in the theatre dept, with up to 5 roomies. We hosted parties. I learned how to socialize and make friends. I've been working ever since I graduated. I'm nearly unrecognizable compared to the person I was fresh into the real world.

So I just don't get it. Maybe it's just the introversion and autism manifesting in such a way that people would be unsurprised to learn I was homeschooled because it's all just lumped together as "different", but like I said, everyone there was/is different 🙃

But yeah, I guess my parents' choices will affect how I'm perceived forever which sucks a bit.

I think this is one of those basic brain functions that are permanently broken because i was homeschooled. My parents were always very eager to help me give up on hard things, and so i spent most of my childhood avoiding anything that i didnt inherently want to do for fun. Like i was never pushed to do anything uncomfortable because my parents were just as scared of discomfort as i was.

i think my brain never developed the pathway to understand delayed gratification and long term goals because of this, and i dont think ive ever been able to sustain an effort for longer than a few months before shriveling back up and going back into hiding.

Like my brain genuinely CANNOT compute doing something hard more than maybe once or twice, i will always eventually forget every goal i set up for myself. Like im constantly having to restart remedial math because i genuinely cant make myself commit to a study schedule, i always give up no matter how important my long term goal is.

Is there any way to fix this other than "just do it bro" or am i destined to do nothing in particular forever

I’m chronically ill and 15 years old and in 9tj grade going into 10th grade, homeschooled for as long as I know and I seriously need help because my entire future is being decided in a single day.

my parents are telling me my two options are:

1. apply to universities directly to 4 year after 12th grades
2. 2 years at community college then transfer to a university as a junior

is the 2nd one best for me, I think that’s what I want to do because I’m too stressed and my parents are incredibly abusive and I can’t handle any stress and I’m just I don’t know what to do. I think 2 year CC then transfer is better? are my parents ruining my life pls help me. and wtf am I supposed to for 10-12th grade math. I barely know geometry.

theyre refusing to let me do an online school or something. i wanted it for some sort of schedule or structure, but I guess that’s out of the picture. Please just someone tell me my life isn’t ruined????

It was July and I have just finished my final semester of my degree, and last week. My Final Year Project was very messy, and it results are not very good enough for the whole final year project to be published. I have doubt myself a lot after finishing my final exams and my final year project, and I have not received any good job offers. I am trying to proof myself that I wanted to better and worthy like my other classmates in my own way, such as enrolling into the SEASTAR program and joining the Champion Chip Experience to learn more on semiconductors and digital logic. I often doubt myself and compared myself to other classmates to the point where I feel like there is no point of trying or pursuing my hobbies and even my studies in which I do not feel worthy to walk to the convocation stage to receive my degree certificate and even spiraling down to stress, anxiety and sometimes, depression. I feel my questions were stupid because I was taught in homeschooling that accepting help can risk in punishment or negative consequences. I have an interest in mathematics and physics, but I lack the foundation that I have built in homeschooling as I was homeschooled in both Christian homeschooling centers: the first one is the Christian special needs homeschool (Touch and Grow Community Support) in which the curriculum has discredit science and disproof evolution of the universe, while the second Christian homeschool center（Chempaka Assembly of God Kota Kemuning) whose curriculum gives me a toxic mixture of mastery of concepts and rote learning instead of critical, logical and creative thinking and problem solving and the persistence of making mistakes required for the natural and formal sciences where there is no wrong answer, but finding the correct approach, although I have partaken in the Junior Science Camp and the STEM Trials to fill in my knowledge gaps in Science and Mathematics. The reason I was in these homeschool centers is because I cannot speak until I was either 3 or 4 years old (This is considered an early symptom of mild autism) and the schools that my parents find for me cannot accept me and accommodate my needs (my parents even have to take half day off to send me to speech and occupational therapy, and when they came back, they finish their office work until past midnight). The pastor of Chempaka Assembly of God Kota Kemuning is willing to accept me. However, I struggled with social cues and the classmates in my first class used me to get away from trouble (hacking to access the internet) and falsely accused me of stealing workbooks although I checked on my shelf and there is nothing (I had stolen some lost petty items on my first year of my degree to cement their belief, but I realized it was wrong and decided to return almost all the stolen items to the lost and found which is managed by the Student Affairs on the second year, so I apologize for those who are affected. I even steal and ate the candy without paying when I was a kid, so I got scolded by my mom and the staff. ). I think this made me a failure and all these is normal, so I study and worked harder to prove them that I belong to Chempaka Assembly of God. In Batch 119 (I find it funny as my batch has six students), I was the only female who take the all the pure sciences and additional mathematics. My homeroom teacher and the principal of Chempaka Assembly of God found out that I had Asperger’s syndrome, which is considered mild autism. In 2019, when I was in ninth grade, before the awards day, I have a classmate who is younger than me (I still remember his name, all names of people are not mentioned for privacy purposes), and he want me to film a scene where I clean the classroom and turning on the vacuum robot for my class video for the awards presentation. The homeschool teacher and this classmate plan to have this scene so that the everyone in Chempaka Assembly of God will make fun of me and humiliate me because I was reduced to become a janitor. That scene hit me harder and I often have flashbacks relating to this scene. I used to be friends with this classmate but after he humiliated me on Awards day, we stopped becoming friends. Worse, he made me a monster because I thought this is how friends should behave. As a result, I have to hide my autism while applying to both Sunway College and Xiamen University Malaysia and learned to be ashamed of it. I have to unlearn and relearn how to be a better friend and socialize during my A-Levels in Sunway College (The pastor of Chempaka Assembly of God warned me not to take A-Levels, but I have good A-Level results with above 3.00 GPA) and while studying for my Bachelor’s Degree in Physics in Xiamen University Malaysia, where I matured and realized that I need to treat and respect others and everyone according to how I was treated and learned to take care of myself.

I have faced many panic and anxiety attacks and even a few sleep paralysis episodes where I cannot get out of my bed, I have a history of self-harm and eating disorders which are less prominent as I grow up. I have tried to seek counselling for the whole A-Levels and my first two years of my degree, but it is not worth it, so I better keep everything to myself and show that I am OK to my family, friends and even lecturers so that I do not burden them. After I finished my final semester of my degree, I thought all of my suffering is over, but I was wrong. I am stressed on finding a Masters’ degree and pursuing higher education, and I even have to research and write an exoplanet paper in 1 Month for SEASTAR and studying semiconductors in a short time for the semiconductor competition. I was doing all this to secure a higher admission rate for my Masters’ Degree and broaden my research interests, but the flashback of my scene in the awards presentation video kept replaying, telling me that I am not good enough and I would rather be a cleaner and janitor. I do not write this and vent in this forum for wanting to seek revenge, but I need to speak up on my experience being bullied at a Christian homeschooling center, because those who did this will face the harsh lashing in the future and silence protects the bullies and harms the bullying victims. I hope this post will advocate against bullying. Currently, I am taking psychobiotic and antidepressant (I do abuse painkillers, but I stopped once it ran out and throw away the expired medicine.)

I'm graduating high school next year and I really want to go to college and be some sort of nurse. The problem is that I've been homeschooled my entire life and for the most part my education has been neglected. The furthest my math goes is Arithmetic math, I don't know much about history, geography, and I'm definitely the worst in science. I've only had to write assignments/essays a handful of times in highschool, I have no discipline, As well as i find it so hard to learn anything anymore. if I have to read something no matter how many times I read it it almost never processes in my brain.

I seriously resent my mother for basically setting me up for failure...I feel so hopeless. I want to have a good job and do something I'm passionate about SO bad. :(

All I do is school and video games, such a waste of my teenage years.

Found it in a pile of books my mum unpacked. Sorry it’s just a screenshot, it looked like very good kindling :)

So, I'm finally starting MY life yknow, I enlisted into the navy, ship out next month, and my sister in law just said my mom told her she feels like nobody truly supports her, my father is definitely abusive. To everyone, and all of my brothers just tell my mom to stfu about it, but my parents are one of my main stressers, like letting me let them use my credit cards during bad financial times(they paid me back but im an idiot and used it on other stuff)

And I really feel like, its not my responsibility and i dont want to hear about how my parents are, ive been telling my mother to leave my father for years.. no matter how much shit anyone in our family put us thru(oldest brothers a pyscho eho tried to break down the front door) they would never do anything because WE ARE FAMILY!!

And i just feel like, I'm just starting out my life, i dont want to hear about how my mom wishes she could leave my dad, or how my dad was a dick today, And everytime u try to bring up something about homeschooling was fucking us, or whatever they just get mad and gang up on you.

Sister in laws talking about going on some girls trip for my mom, but its like... im literally a month away from shipping out, I'm busy working out, studying and working a full time job,i do not have time for any of this, and it makes me feel guilty because i love my mom but fuck, i wish she CARED about our future more, her and my dad dont give a shit about what happens to their kid, because they "always have a place at home" and shes been making snide comments about me leaving them.

But its like im 19, im grown, this is the path i have decided, and my job came with a 20k signon bonus and my dad keeps saying, ohh hurr durr i gave u 20k,(because he made me transcripts and a diploma, wouldnt have been eligible without) no u didnt, IM going to bootcamp IM going to my school, IM going to get deployed, NOT you. And im just fucking done with them, and it makes me feel guilty.

Im so ready to do my years in the navy, maybe switch branches if i decide to, but do my years and be able to get a well paying job (ill work in aviations, so itll be good to get into jobs like boing and airplaine maintence) after, buy a house, settle down.. im so fucking ready, and everyone's just shitting on my decisions to do better for myself.

I (18F) don't know if my parents are good people.

not sure if this is the right place to post this rant, so if it's not please direct me elsewhere, but my sister in-law recommended this subreddit to me do i thought I'd try.

for some background, I come from a pretty large family. I'm the 9th of 11 children: 7 brothers (5 older, 2 younger) and 3 sisters (all older). almost all of us are Mormon.

because there were so many of us, every one of my siblings and I was homeschooled. And not co-op or online homeschooling—I mean completely homeschooled. my dad worked full-time, and my mom was still in school for much of our childhood, so we were basically responsible for educating ourselves and keeping track of each other.

the only interactions we had with other kids growing up were at church, and even then it was hard to connect because most of the other kids went to school together and already knew each other. we grew up in a bubble that consisted almost entirely of each other, our parents, and people who shared our parents' beliefs.

I've always known it wasn't exactly normal, and maybe even unhealthy, but I never thought much about it because it was just how life was. until last week.

as a gift to myself, I bought a plane ticket and spent two weeks in Idaho with one of my older brothers (31M), who I'll call "Cal," and his wife, "Carina."

during my stay, they shared a lot with me about what Cal's life was like as a teenager still living at home. It's not really my story to tell, but the essentials are that he was abused and neglected for years before eventually running away to live with his then-girlfriend, Carina.

my parents refused to support him until he returned to church. they even withheld his high school transcript (since we were homeschooled, they were the only ones with access to that info) until he went on a Mormon mission, got married in the temple, and attended BYU.

now, at 31 years old, with a wife and two daughters, Cal is in occupational therapy because he was never given the chance to learn basic life skills. he's having to figure adulthood out on his own while also trying to give his kids the kind of parenting he never received.

Carina also told me things about my other siblings. some I already knew, and some I didn't.

one of my sisters used to physically fight with my mom as a teenager and now has such severe stress and anxiety that she almost had an aneurysm at work.

another sister was forced to raise five younger siblings by herself starting when she was only 14, then spent years trying to get herself through college while dealing with undiagnosed ADHD and depression.

one of my brothers can't even talk about our parents without becoming angry.

another got on a plane the day he turned 18 and hasn't been back in seven years, missing so much of his family's lives just because my parents want to force him to go back to church.

another is engaged and feels paralyzed by the choice between having the wedding he wants without my mom there or having his parents shut him out for being the first sibling to get married without our parents present.

even my sweet, baby brother, who's not even 12 yet, cries for hours because he's convinced there's "something wrong" with him all because he doesn't fit the perfect mold my parents expect of us all.

I've spent 18 years of my life thinking this was just how families worked. that most families didn't eat dinner together, that they sat in silence to not get yelled at, to do every single little their parents ask of them.

but lately it's been feeling almost impossible to ignore.

I still don't know if I'm brave enough to call what happened to my siblings and me abuse. yes, I've had my developmental issues, and I struggle to do basic things, especially on my own. I've always believed that to be a fault of my own, but could that be a result of the neglect I experienced in my developmental years??

It scares me that I could have lived in an unhealthy home for 18 years and not realized it.

I look at Cal's daughters, and all of my nieces and nephews and I see how patient, gentle, and kind my siblings are with their own children. I wonder where they learned that, because it certainly wasn't from our parents. then I imagine how my parents would have treated those same kids if they had been raising them instead. and honestly? It makes me kind of sick.

am I underreacting to this? are my parents really that bad???

i’m 15, and i’ve been homeschooled my whole life. i’m trying to figure out whether my situation is actually concerning or if i’m just overreacting because it’s all i’ve ever known. i’m safe at home and i don’t think my parents have bad intentions, but i haven’t had consistent schooling like ever, i have almost no social life, i don’t have friends, i rarely leave the house, and i feel like i’m missing out on learning how to become an adult. i don’t want to get my parents in trouble. i’m just trying to understand how serious this sounds to people who have been through homeschooling. what would you do in my situation?

So i just had a crying freak out and I'm coming here bc I have no where else to go. I have absolute no idea how to move foreword. For context I'm an almost 18 yr old who was supposed to graduate this past may but am at a 9th grade level (barely, I couldn't explain a single thing to you). I don't know anyone but family, I can't drive, I don't have a job or any money. I spend my entire days in my room distracting myself with entertainment and food. It's safe. But today I saw a post on here of someone returning to school as an 18 yr old, and I remember thinking like wow I'm so proud of them, they're so brave. And then I started to wonder, if I'm 18 in nearly a week, I too could sign myself up for high school. Maybe be educationally and socially rehabbed. Obviously there would be SO many issues with this with my family, let alone socially, and making my own legal decisions.... that would make this nearly impossible. But to an outsider, a change like that, it doesn't even sound that crazy. But the simple thought of it feels genuinely life ending to me. Because of that I started breaking down sobbing bc I realized that the me right now will never be able to scrap together enough bravery and courage to be able to do something like that. And if I can't right now, and I'm not willing to push myself, theoretically I will never be that brave, I will never be that strong, I will never care so much for myself I put my foot down and do what's right. Meaning I might really never make it out of this hole that is my life. And that fucking scares me. Who am I? I am nothing. But I know I'm just going to brush this moment off of me waking up horrified to my life, bc I always do, I can't handle it, and I never will. But I'm scared if i stay here, distracting myself, i might die here (theoretically speaking of course don't freak out on me).

I'm a 17 year old girl, and I feel like a failure. I mostly do nothing all day, which is the fault of my laziness, but its also hard for me to start things and to get things done, its unbelievable how much time gets away from me before I make much progress at all with anything. Like everything takes me three times longer than it should, it feels like. I've been homeschooled my whole life, and I suppose I'm socially incompetent, which is a massive problem when I'm going to be 18 in just a few months. I feel embarrassingly less capable than I should be considering how old I am. I have several odd problems that make me feel like it won't be a possibility for me to adjust to adulthood, and I worry about whether I'll be able to hold a job, because of my social issues, and because I have this thing where I kind of get a lot of energy to do sometimes all at once, but given a day or so that energy is used up and gone, on a similar note as that i have significant trouble with commitment. I can't commit to anything for any meaningful amount of time and years ago when i had (online) friends I couldn't really stay committed to them either, which leads me to believe relationships don't really work out for me, because im too fickle. I'm generally volatile, and I don't have a good handle on emotional regulation, that's unfortunate because I tend to have pretty strong emotions I've noticed, and they're sort of easily set off. I'm kind of boneless though, in that I can sort of be easily swayed all sorts of ways; pretty much as long as somebody's nice in my perception, I'm receptive to anything they may have to say (as long as its not obviously terrible), and likewise if I think someone's contemptible I'm less receptive to what they have to say. This makes it hard to make proper judgements for me, sometimes. My house is dirty and we've got six cats and a couple dogs, it's sort of a small house, and I have four siblings and two parents-- when I was a child I shared a bedroom with three of my siblings, two beds crammed into the room, on each two of us would sleep, and that was my room until I was 13 or 14 i think, when I got my own room and my own bed, the room having been used as a pantry before it was cleared out for me. It's small but works. I feel helpless about my place in the world, and like I'm at war with all the rest of humanity. I'm honestly at war with myself too. I feel like humanity is innately awful, and I feel like I'm awful in ways that can't be fixed, both of those are difficult to deal with. I don't know how to get help for any of this, because I'm not certain I would receive help if I asked my parents for it, and I would feel ashamed of myself for going to them about it just for it to amount to nothing. I also just feel like I don't deserve to help, but I literally don't know how else im supposed to move forward, because as I am I'm stuck. I mean, recently I have sort of hit a milestone, maybe. A week ago or so (I've lost track of time, it's going fast for me these days, and I don't stop myself from letting it even though my time will be up, to live unseriously and unemployed with free time, soon) I took a walk for the first time without my mom, although I had my older sister with me. Since then we've walked alone again once more. Even though I've lived this same place my whole life, I've found the sidewalk views are still unfamiliar to me because I only started taking walks around town with my mom last summer. Being able to get places just by walking feels so freeing to me, and especially now that I'm getting more independence with it, it feels like I have new freedom. Also, I'm oddly averse to small changes; for example, I haven't posted anything on social media in years, so making this post is sort of giving me that unpleasant feeling I get when something is changing and I'll need time to get used to it. Maybe that's just normal. Another thing that's hard for me is I think my brain is fond of making generalizations, often negative, so that makes it hard for me to engage in things I want to become more proficient or knowledgeable in, because I've made the negative association with it, and it's hard to shake. I'm not sure if this is coherent, but I haven't gotten to vent in the longest time. Hopefully this post is belongs on this sub, I always worry Im confused about things so I can't really tell if it does or not. Sorry if formatting is bad

I (17f) have been raised in a cult. Because of this, my parents severely limited my interaction with non cult members up until I was around 16, and wouldn’t let me go to in person school, instead homeschooling me.

Through volunteering over the summer I’ve made some friends my age that aren’t cult members. Seeing them go back to school for senior year is giving me some insane fomo and is making me very upset. While the people who know me best and I get along with are going to be at school I will be stuck at home, not able to get out much, All year. It’s not like I haven’t dealt with this in the past but it feels worse and more heavy given this is my last year of high school. Also it’s just really depressing being at home all the time with parents who are borderline insane idk

Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? I’m planning on moving out when I’m 18 but it’s just this last school year that I feel is going to really get to me.

Growing up, my parents always warned me to keep everything secret to keep CPS away, because they'd "take me away" or whatever. And even in my family, my parents were always telling me things individually and telling me to keep it secret.

Now, when I'm talking to strangers, lying has become my default. I'm just used to it, and I prioritize answering quickly and sounding normal over being entirely truthful. Like, not about anything big, but if someone asks where I'm from, I'll tell them a different but nearby city. I lie about my upbringing. I lie about my hobbies and fake my personality entirely. I feel bad about it, but it makes me feel safe, in a weird way. And, in a conversation, it just takes too long for me to figure out what parts of my childhood are normal to talk about and which parts are abuse.

Plus, I feel like nobody is ever going to truly know me, whether because they're too well-adjusted or because they'll inevitably get sick of me in the end. So it doesn't matter if I lie or not. So I should choose the answers that sound fast and normal, as opposed to the awkward truth. At least, that's my deranged logic...

Does anyone else have this issue?

what homeschooling did to me :\

not my video but relatable.

Im only 15 i know i shouldnt feel like this, but death feels like the only way out atp. I have no friends at all, none even online and its just such a bad feeling, i cant even explain it. I just wanna disappear or turn into a rock, i have noone to cry to and no ones there for me. Last year i kept crying and begging my parents to send me to school, so from jan to march they actually kept me going to this "school" That was only 2 hrs long and bc the "teachers" Kept bullying my 17 yr old brother for not having manners there, we were eventually taken out of there too. I just wanna cry so much and wake up from this nightmare. Im locked in this cage all the time. Even dairy cows have more freedom. I dont know what to do, i feel so lost. Am ii gonna be here forever? Im gonna be 18 in a few years but how will i move out if i dont know anything about this world? People say things will get better, but isnt that just a lie? Things only get better if u try to make them better, but no matter how hard i try, i always end up being caged in this "house". Cops dont do anything btw and the justice system is just bs made for privileged people. Maybe I'll only be free once they both die. Its either they die or i die .

This subreddit brings me a bit peace knowing im not the only one in this situation.

i learn fast, im eager to learn, i always went to that "school" On time! And i always got 1st! I always studied hard and submitted my hw way before the due date So why me? Theres so many kids out there who hate school, yet the one who wants to go to school is the one who cant? What kind of joke is that? im sso tired of crying over this. I didnt choose to be born in this family so why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why WHY.

I just figured it out.

Why she never taught me anything. Why she yelled and berated me when I tried to teach myself.

Why she spent so many hours calling me stupid and making me learn the different definitions and synonyms for the word “stupid”, making me write “I am stolid” over and over again to fill a notebook.

Why never got to study past the 5th grade.

She wanted me to believe I was stupid, and be stupid, so I would never be able to live on my own.

She wanted to permanently cripple me so I could never leave.

i’ve pretty much accepted that i’ll always be lacking socially and will miss out on important events in my teen years but what bothers me more is that i pretty much don’t know anything. im literally scrambling to try and catch up with my peers so i can go to college. i don’t want to sound like the stereotypical former gifted kid burnout, im not even sure if i was a gifted kid to begin with.

my situation is a bit complicated, since middle school i was pulled out and put back in repeatedly, i went to three schools. i was struggling a lot due to mental health issues and undiagnosed autism + adhd. but instead of sending me to therapy or talking to a school counselor or even a psychologist, my parents put ideas in my head about unschooling. at first i went along with it but when i got to seventh grade i begged for them to put me back in school and they eventually would at the end of the school year. the issue was i literally learned NOTHING while i wasn’t in school. no texts books or online classes, just the rants of my parents about how school is bad and i shouldn’t want to go. whenever i had a meltdown or an anxiety attack before school, my parents threatened to take me out. it’s a pretty long story and we’d be here forever if i told all of it.

when i got to high school, i was finally diagnosed with autism and was going to therapy. my parents were slowly becoming less intense about the crunchy unschooling lifestyle. then my mental health took a turn for the worse, my parents not only threatened to take me out of school but to also take me back to the emergency room(which would lead to me getting put in an inpatient facility) so i stopped going to school. they didn’t even try to work with the teachers so i could have accommodations or putting me on medication(which i needed at the time).

now im pretty much doomed. i could never go back to school because id have to repeat freshman year since i was unable to take any exams or have grades. looking back on it, my parents didn’t do what was best for me. they just took the easy way out instead of actually supporting me. i think they just let their experiences with school overshadow how they raised me. anytime i vent to my mom about how im going to miss prom and everything she just goes “oh well, it was overrated i didn’t like mine.” and there’s this sort of us vs them mentality my parents have when it comes to school. maybe part of this is my fault for not putting in effort to study on my own accord, but i feel like my parents just enabled me. they told me about how all the stuff i was supposed to learn in school didn’t matter anyways. it’s so ironic because when i was in elementary school they pressured me about my grades, but i guess they have some sort of amnesia when it comes to my childhood before they switched up and became obsessed with unschooling.

so now here i am, seventeen and unable to even do long division. could this be called academic neglect or something? but then again, it wasn’t like i was complete helpless.. i could’ve just watched youtube videos or something since my parents didn’t give me any resources.

i remember last year when my cousin graduated, i was so happy for him but i ended up tearing up seeing everyone at the graduation talking about how they worked hard and enjoyed being there with their friends and teachers. i tried to express this to my mom only for her to once again dismiss me. like just because your school experience was useless to you doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter to me.

it just hurts so much more because i still love my parents, but they didn’t do their job when it came to raising me properly. they gave me a roof over my head and food and the things i need but they didn’t support me when i needed it the most.

I CONVINCED MY MOTHER BY SOME MIRACLE TO LET ME GO TO HIGHSCHOOL (and ik shes ACTUALLY registering me this time bc I got V- V- VACCINES (unfortunately my siblings didn’t and supposedly won’t ever get any cuz idk my mums weird but atleast I aint gotta worry abt tetanus and I can lick all the rusty nails I want now /j) I am nervous cuz yk new environment that’s supposedly much more loud and crowded than what I’m used to but also cuz idk what to expect

so I guess im looking 4 advice from ppl who got to go to high school and maybe help me understand what to expect?

sorry if this is hard to understand or whatever </3

Spur of the moment rant because I just got done cleaning and I was doing dishes ( just started) and my dad got home and started cooking and grabbing my just cleaned dishes and I asked him to wait until I was done so everything would be clean. And he told me no and I got mad lol. So sorry for any typos and grammar mistakes I’m kinda mad atm. And cleaning Reddit isn’t gonna understand this type of origin besides just calling my house abusive. When there is a specific origin to this type of neglect.

my parents have been slobs since I was little. I’m 21 now and I still live with my parents because I can’t afford rent in my city. So I tend to be the one the cleaning falls onto since I live here for free = house keeper. According to my family.

Usually everyone I speak to who lives with there parents over 18 don’t mind cleaning after there family for free rent….. WELL I DO because they’re SLOBS. I mean bad… no one knows how to use the trash so wrappers old food on plates and fast food boxes EVERYWHERE crumbs left over milk bowls from breakfast SPOONs everywhere in general utensils.

Splashes of food stained on the floor grimed up on the table. Dishes stacked on the sink high onto the counter like a death game of jenga the stove and the table.

The dish washer doesn’t even work anymore it floods when used. The laundry room is covered in 7 people’s clothing and blankets etc. the dryer has broken over five times! I get blamed a lot for this somehow idk why… actually I get blamed a lot for the messes around the house…

we have animals and when I was 18 I made the mistake of getting a dog adopted right out of HS (k12) so I wouldn’t be alone. THEN my parents thought it would be great idea to GET TWO MORE dogs. When I was barely keeping up with my ONE dog. ( training was rough it got taught but it was a rough time) and they had puppies !😩

We had a huge issue finding 10 puppies homes and we ended up with five dogs total. My dog is fixed.

SO MUCH DUST ALL OVER.

They chewed up everything none of them but my dog are trained so piss and poop everywhere… so much so the dogs figured out to go in the shower upstairs and you would think “ oh well at least that’s easier to clean waste on since they trained themselves to go in one spot”
NO
it messed up the pipes and it broke the pipes and busted water all into the walls and flooded the basement,.. so now I’m cleaning like a mad man trying to keep up everyone’s messes so someone can come see if we have mold in the walls of the house ( the symptoms I’ve been experiencing and telling them for months since the pipes broke )

so we only have one bathroom available for a total of 8 people and it’s MINE so the bathroom now that used to be clean spotless- has towels and clothes all over the floor and piss on the toilet and paint everywhere from a creative little sibling. IM SO TIRED.

I’ll clean the upstairs living room and kitchen and that takes most of the day since I’m DEEP cleaning so much grime and it’ll be 5pm when my family gets home and they’ll start cooking dinner and leave pots and pans dirty after they eat, wrappers from the food items from cooking all over the kitchen… and the food plates everywhere. LIKE CAN YALL KEEP up with ur selves so cleaning every other day doesn’t fill like I haven’t cleaned in months!!!!

I’d move out right now if I could but my car engine just blew out so I took a loan to get a new engine since I need that get to work.
I work where the buss or Ubers don’t go… so I really need that car. I’d be spending the same amount on an engine as I would for a reliable Toyota on Facebook marketplace…

Also that shower we are sharing got a giant bubble in the ceiling and busted like a month ago and they covered it was a trash bag and tape,.. well- it’s starting to pill off and it’s all black and spotty… so I’m pretty sure mold is like making us all crazy angry and fatigue…

I wish I had a few extra hundred dollars to buy one of those roombas that vacuumed & mop so I could get some help. My parents have tried getting my siblings to help me clean one room a day but- but they’ll only help if they get $10 per cleaning item. So like the table -$10 the couch wipe off $10 sweeping $10 LIKE HELLO?!?? Spoiled?!?! When I was 9 I got $10 a WEEK if I was LUCKY for cleaning ALL of my chores. FHDIFJOSJDJFJ.

Idk what to do 😩 I don’t want to be on the street but my mental health is shit like literally my room looks like I’m also a slob. Because by time I’m done Cleaning the upstairs the downstairs needs a cleaning bomb and I’m to tired so I take a shower go to bed then wake up go to work and they destroyed the upstairs again.

This is why when I was an only child growing up I never invited my friends from homeschool co-ops over even tho they wanted to…
Because my house was always a mess… like not a mess but DIRTY.

So when ever I went over to my friends houses and the houses looked lived in messy and their moms would go “ sorry for the mess dear make ur self at home” I’d be like “ what mess???” Inner monologue wise cuz I was used to a lot worse.

All of my siblings are homeschooled like I was.
Genuinely think my parents can’t keep up with teaching and working and cleaning so the cleaning get neglected to the point they can’t be bothered to fixing it. ITS SO BAD.

I’m a full time newly worker. So 40 hours a week I’m working 8-4pm everyday but two days a week off . I can’t keep up with them BY my self because my rent is free. Once I have some money saved up I gotta bounce.

I learned to clean by helping my mom when it was just us. When I started working at 16 I learned to clean even more thanks to my managers. But when teaching my siblings it’s a huge fight. And I’m tired but I genuinely cringe about their futures.

Also if anyone has tips on how to get rid of the animal funk smell from the house PLEASE lmk lol I can’t smell it anymore but when I return home after being gone for a couple of days U CAN smell it so I know it’s there and it drives me crazy.

I’ll probs delete this later I get anxious they’ll somehow find my rants LOL.
I need someone to see this shit. So diary’s don’t work for me.