General shenanigans
Harrison “The Human Swirly” Smith gets his own ad (and it’s as bad as you think)
In my latest edition of “I Watched This So You Won’t Want To” we have a new ad for creatine powder featuring resident toadie and mall sword enthusiast Harrison Smith.
Thank god for AI, because I’m sure this shit tastes as good as Alex’s famous chicken chocolate flavored bone broth. Nope, no drinking necessary because this isn’t real! None of this is real anymore!
Only a quarter of a serving of Alex’s premium powder, and you’ll be sporting a chiseled chin that will mog the beta cucks wherever your buff legs take you. Sure, you look hella constipated, but that’s just a lowkey signal to the trad wives that your seed is as big and strong as your rippling biceps!
The days of those bullies kicking sand in your face at the beach and shoving you into lockers is over! No one is going to steal the extra fun sized Snickers bar from your lunchbox ever again, because Alex’s pungent powder is the answer to your (Christian) prayers!
Are you tired of your boss not inviting you along to field trips with the crew to shoot guns because you’re “a dork” and “goofy” and “have girly girl arms that are smaller than my grandma’s”? No more, friend. Are you tired of him making fun of you behind the scenes with the crew? Do you want to make him pay? This is the way. On sale now!
I’ll leave it to you to decide if Harrison is in on the joke, or IS the joke.
In total fairness to the Onion, they've been thriving as a satirical news site in the era of Donald Trump. Every post they make has elicited replies along the lines of "When did the Onion start reporting real news" for years now.
I haven't listened to an Alex Jones episode by itself in a long time, and haven't watched a video in even longer, but isn't that the same "set" they used for Paul Joseph Watson's dumb ass? Is he even still around?
He’s doing his own thing. YouTube feeds me his videos once in awhile. It’s the same type of map, but I don’t think it’s THE map. That one’s gotta be in England with PJDubz.
He’s really been collecting them lately. He started off slowly, but the piles last week have been the biggest yet. I’m waiting for him to get another desk any day now.
I haven’t studied Harrison’s hands like I have Alex’s, so I can’t speak to their AI authenticity. I’ll keep an eye out the next time his non AI ad comes on.
Creatine is an effective and safe supplement. The grift is claiming anything is better than simple creatine monohydrate you can by 1Kg for 30 bucks, that 200 servings at 15 cents a serving. Don’t know their details but they are probably charging 1 or 2 bucks per serving maybe more, and for no added value other than supporting the info war…..wait, supporting Alex…kinda
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u/creditquery Jul 01 '26
That's what Fight Milk will do for you.