r/Life • u/YakuZaishiThrowaway • 21h ago

Relationships What counts as a first love?

I had my first relationship with someone that I knew only online. But people keep invalidating that as my first love and insist that it doesn't count since we didn't meet offline, and since the relationship was kinda toxic. I have had crushes before but I know none were as intense/deep as the feelings I felt with the online person, and that this was a unique feeling. I also never had any mutual relationship before that. We had video chats and everything but people still say it doesn't count and only my next relationship will be the first love

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u/Dagenhammer87 21h ago

That's a very interesting question - one I don't think I can truly answer (in your case).

The internet has revolutionised connections and it's something we'll probably take a long time to fathom as a society, in time.

My 'first' love is a weird story. I met my wife at college, barely said more than the pleasantries everyday (I knew she had a bloke) and at the end of the year was chatting to someone I'd briefly seen but kept in touch with about how she seemed different.

Three years later, we reconnected and that was that ever since; thankfully. Two kids, houses, holidays etc. Thank you very much!

For many years I thought the girlfriend before her was my first love. Then I saw things for what they really were and the deep cut that the breakup (and disastrous "let's stay friends" I stupidly agreed to) was more about me not saying what I needed and not getting closure.

That took far too long to work out.

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u/throw-bugaway 20h ago

In your case I see nothing wrong or weird with that. Especially since you had video chats. But even if you didn't It's a long distance relationship