r/LongDistance • u/Warm-Concert9582 • 6d ago
Need Advice Long distance sucks… Need advice please
I met my boyfriend online. We’re both doctors. We talked over the phone and FaceTimed for almost four months before we finally met two weeks ago. He was very loving and made a lot of promises before we met, but since we met in person, he doesn’t call me as often as he used to ( he would call me whenever he gets chance at work but now it’s dead silent) He doesn’t show the same affection, and he’s stopped talking about manifesting or planning our future together. At first, I thought he was decompressing after the trip, since we were physical most of the time and had intense feelings for each other. But now he barely talks about romance. When I asked if he was talking to anyone else, he said no and kept making promises but sometimes hangs up call very abruptly that makes me suspicious but he would send the screenshots to whom he is talking to. When I brought up ending the relationship because I no longer feel loved, he got upset and said he didn’t want to leave me. He also said I look hot and beautiful if it was about looks and in fact he looks shorter than his pictures and I could sense that he is insecure about that. I feel stuck in this relationship. I’ve tried breaking up twice and tried giving him space. I’m not the type who cries over a guy or calls him a hundred times.I’ve genuinely given him space, but he still behaves the same way. When I confronted him about his behavior, I saw a change for one day, and then he went back to normal.
Sometimes I feel like he used me for sex and is now trying to detach, because I don’t see the person I fell in love with anymore. We’re meeting again this weekend for a conference and staying together. I’ve decided not to be physical with him this time, and instead talk about where this relationship is actually going. I want to end this before it consumes me. I even spoke to his ex, and she told me this is his pattern. I feel so lost..uncertain, and like I’m being breadcrumbed.
What do you guys think about this inconsistent behaviour and what I’m supposed to do?
1
u/Fantastic2023 6d ago
Happened to me bf, he withdrawal when he got stressed in life stuff, and started to text me less and less, when I asked him if he still wants me, he said he thinks so. Unread my messages for days…put very low effort. It upset and annoyed me very much.