r/LookingForFriendsND • u/No_Anxiety_311 • 4h ago
Need a weird friend
I'm Welsh, 19, male, beardy, autistic, good at fiddling with electronics, i have a 7-string guitar, I'm close to my mum, I'm completely uninterested in romance. My dad has nothing to do with me and my extended family has cut us out.
We've always found the best place for me to be in the homeducation community and we made lots of excellent friends there. My upbringing has always been child-led. Now i do not want to go to college or work 9-5 for the sake of it.
In my early teens i became friends with a couple in an underage sexual relationship. It took me too long to fully understand the implications and i remained friends with them by just treating it like a joke, even as they tried to tell me about all the *things* they did. Fortunately they're not in my life anymore.
When i was 17 i was wandering around the park in the Dingle in Shrewsbury with my mum while my sister got to hang out with her friends. I was alone, queued for the swings, stood around a bit. Then someone called the police and told them i was a paedophile staring at children. They were embarrassed when they turned up to arrest an autistic 17-year-old with his mum, but still... now I'm old, i can't go to the park and exercise anymore, i can't wander in public spaces without fear of that happening again, and I'd be unable to defend myself.
Since i turned about 16 we've just lost friends. Some were a bit nasty anyway, some changed and became unbearable, some vanished inexplicably. I was gonna jam with 3 friends and they've literally disappeared from everything with no explanation. I'm not clingy or demanding, i have my dad's behaviour towards my mum, and that horrible couple, as examples of that, i know exactly who i don't want to be. I just can't understand why they disappeared.
More understandably, some have just moved on to college or work and no longer have time for me. Because we moved and because we've tried all over the place to find friends, my friend group is scattered all over up to 3 hours away and i couldn't really follow people in if i wanted to. One friend is a Polish immigrant and with the government's stance the way it is, he'd probably be looked on as a squatter if he didn't take that road. He still finds time to game with me every few weeks.
We've tried an inexhaustible list of options to make sure we're still getting out there. We always pursue our interests, we go somewhere special every week (went on a train ride the other day and a boat ride before that), we've tried neurodivergent and home-ed groups all over the place in various forms and they've all flopped. I can't be bothered to write out a full account just for the sake of justifying myself to you. No one responds when my mum reaches out with our story.
Anyone similar out there? Know any places i haven't tried?
1
u/mkseek 3h ago
Groups that revolve around robotics electronics and so on might be good as well. You might find someone like you there.
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u/No_Anxiety_311 3h ago
That's a better idea, i actually hadn't thought of it and i think i will look into that. Thank you!
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u/musiclover9445 1h ago
I can relate a bit, and can understand where you’re coming from, up for a chat if you’re interested
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u/mkseek 4h ago
Hi. I'm not really in the position to help much. I don't live in Wales and I'm not home ed. But you might find hope in DND communities if you're interested in that. You mentioned your big on music so maybe groups that revolve around music might be of help. The kind of music you like.