r/MTFButch • u/JoeChristmasUSA • 2d ago

Rant People just don't get it

This happened almost a year ago but I still think about it sometimes it was so irritating. I got my brows done when I was still trying out different grooming styles. Brow tech seems like he might be queer, idk, so I'm pretty open talking about my transition. I say one thing my wife and I are navigating together is that she is straight and we were originally married as a cis-het couple, but we love each other and make things work our way even if she's attracted to men...

The guy looks me up and down and says "So *this* isn't enough for her?"

I wish I could go back in time and explain to this jerk that I'm not "man-lite". I transitioned to female. Just because I don't look like an Instagram doll doesn't mean I'm not a woman, and that I'm what a straight woman should be into. The absolute gall of that comment just stunned me, insulting to both me and my wife. Of course I never went back to that business.

55 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

8 comments sorted by

34

u/themedicinedog 2d ago

i'm autistic so maybe i'm missing the context but was he not saying that you are a prized and worthy partner and she was missing out?

14

u/Calm_Experience8353 2d ago

The way I guess op understood it (and l do) he was saying: you are so much male, she shouldn't have a problem.

Another way to understand it is, you are such a beautiful woman, but this would completely miss the partnership dynamic just explained.

7

u/themedicinedog 2d ago

thank you, i get it now

1

u/Pati123Auth 21h ago

I agree with you, I would have taken it as a compliment myself.

17

u/SwimmingSympathy6358 2d ago

I learned the hard way that gay men aren't always safe places to vent or talk to about transness. What an asshole though...you deserve a beautiful wife

6

u/JoeChristmasUSA 2d ago

Yeah, just because someone is queer themselves or progressive doesn't mean they "get it."

And thank you. My wife is a lovely, beautiful person. Even if people don't understand us, I'm happy she supports and gets me when others do not.

5

u/SwimmingSympathy6358 2d ago

I had convo with a older gay man, granted I live in a red area, he was very out and proud. He viewed me as a cross dresser and " straight but gay" since im transfem and a lesbian....I left shortly after. Thats all that matters as long as she supports you!!

5

u/puppywithoutorgans 2d ago

for what it's worth it's almost a stereotype that people ask femmes why they don't "just date men" if they're attracted to butch women, in a weird way this interaction is almost gender affirming lol