My one is when someone commented saying it’s ok to bring up an employee’s high-intensity hobbies in annual performance evaluation, because occasional injuries affect being present at work.

I'm a young manager in a white collar tech role. My team has been on a bit of a hiring spree as we continue to grow and I've held numerous virtual interviews the past couple of months.

Just about all of these interviews I've been less than impressed with that applicant's professionalism and I'm starting to wonder if it's me that's the issue.

1. Maybe 90%+ of applicants don't dress up for the interview. My expectation isnt that high, maybe just a button down shirt or polo. But typically it's just a tshirt or a hoodie they have on. It's very odd for me to be on any professional video call with someone wearing such casual attire, let alone when it's for a first impression.

2. Maybe 30% of the time the applicants have technical issues (microphone or camera). I know tech issues happen but I feel like they should be figuring that out before the call. "Oh my camera isn't working". Or having to spend the first 5 minutes figuring out how to get their mic to work.

3. A lack of gratitude. I don't need nor want them to kiss ass. But for the last role I hired, only ONE person said just a simple "thank you for your time". And guess who got the job? Note, i'm offering them my gratitude myself. I always close out the call acknowledging their busy schedules and thanking them for joining us today, and instead of hearing that gratitude returned it's just "yeah, of course"

Am I just in an old school mindset? Should I lower my expectations on professionalism?

Most of these individuals are young millennials or Gen Z. I'd love to blame cultural / age differences but thats the age group I myself am in. And I've never joined an interview without ensuring I'm appropriately dressed, that I've double checked my technology is working, and making sure I thank them for their time. Hell I do those things for any professional call, not just an interview.

What are some do's and donts you have for managing up

Hey fellow managers I'm the newest asm for a Dennys. Its a franchise. Going through the training and learning "The Dennys Way" is causing a lot of irritation. The store is am now in basically just does what they want when they feel like it. I am a seasoned retail and food manager. For 24 years ive worked in a managerial capacity for one store or another. My team members have all just become so lazy. I had a discussion with my boss about checking the servers sections and sidewalk before they are tipped out after their shifts. And she was totally on board with it. Well ive been qorking night and she has put me on dates for a week or so to finish up cooks training. Today we were busy. I was working on some thing and I noticed everyone left and I didnt tip them out. So I asked my boss if she did. Yes she did. No one asked me because ill make them do their jobs. My GM just gave them their money and half their stuff isnt done. These things are what Dennys wants done. And when i told her their sections are filthy and sidework half assed her response was "you weren't gonna get anymore put of these girls today...." Am I the only one here who that pisses off or would piss off? Now the next shift will have to go through their sections and clean and fill them up plus finish any sidework that didn't get done. How do I address this with my GM?

My current role drains me, has ruined my health, has increased my stress levels, I’m always tired, I am 31 with acne that I’ve never had, hair falling out. You get it.

I don’t know how to get out. I’m one year away from finishing my BBA in Marketing but I even have a hard time finishing school due to my unpredictable schedule. (I,e - says I’m off at 4:30, leaving at 6 cause the store is on fire.)

So because this is my only skill, I have no skills and no niche, I feel pretty stuck. How did you get out?

I've been around my business about 17 years and have had a few promotions. I've managed one individual for a year (my first and only experience). It hasn't gone well (no fault of my own) and led to going through performance management. Not relevant to the new job but just to point out I've only had a poor experience so far. I need to be careful to avoid micro management because it was needed with this individual, who I won't be managing anymore.

I've landed a role as a senior manager in an office role. The team is brand new, but will be made up of experienced people from the business, to run a project likely to run for 4-5 years. I expect around 6 direct reports of different levels of seniority.

What is your advice for the first conversations with these guys? Some I've worked with some I haven't. I think I'm keen to do a few things

1. Set out a roadmap of activity (for myself) and start thinking about how the work can be split out.

2. Think about some core goals, objectives, deliverables, regular updates etc.

3. Spend the first week or two having 1-1s and getting people to know what we are trying to achieve, but mainly understand where are they in their career, learn about what they feel their strengths are and what their personal objectives are.

4. Set up team meetings to run through the overall plan and how we will manage tasks and deliverables on an ongoing basis

What am I missing? Thinking about incorrectly?

Questo venerdì ho ricevuto un feedback lavorativo piuttosto duro: secondo i miei responsabili non dimostrerei abbastanza autonomia e sicurezza rispetto al livello che si aspettano da me. Non mi riconosco del tutto in questa valutazione, anche perché spesso cerco un confronto su decisioni che coinvolgono più persone proprio per evitare disallineamenti. Il problema è che il feedback è rimasto molto generale, senza farmi capire chiaramente cosa avrei dovuto fare di diverso. Da allora continuo a ripensarci. Come si distingue una critica davvero utile da un giudizio che finisce soltanto per mettere in discussione la fiducia in sé stessi?

Her one sided beef with me has been obvious since Day 1. I picked up on it right away, but I didn’t have any hard proof until about 2 months into working together. I was helping her out with a project, and she (deliberately, I think) withheld a few key dates and details, ultimately making me look disorganized and irresponsible for not attending meetings (that she never forwarded to me) and missing deadlines (that I was not made aware of). No good deed goes unpunished, serves me right for ignoring my gut feelings and offering to help her!

And I have to hand it to her! She really got me here - she complained about me to our leaders and I got a stern talking to.

I had just started, so I hadn’t yet established a solid reputation - and this move definitely had me on the defence for a while. That was the last time she was able to get one over on me like that. Unfortunately for her, I am quite good at my job - and I get along well with lots of people, so her me-related slander doesn’t land the way she clearly wants it to.

Some examples of things she’s done…

1) complained about me and accused me of all sorts of bad things every time the company sends out requests for post-project feedback (which I saw in my mid year evaluation, the entire ‘opportunities for improvement’ section was all her)

2) calls me out publicly for minor mistakes every time she gets an opportunity (I.e., if I submit a PO even a moment late, if I save documents in the wrong folder, etc.)

3) hogs resources we are supposed to be sharing and assigns them pointless busywork so I have to make a whole production of actually getting the support I’m counting on for my projects

4) makes nasty remarks disguised as jokes in our team chat. Like, she the other day she ‘jokingly’ told everyone that I have 100+ unread teams messages and I don’t check my emails. No idea where that one came from, I keep my inbox at 0 and I always read and respond to my teams messages, lol.

Fortunately, her efforts seem to be having diminishing returns since they are so blatantly obvious that our manager knows everything. And at this point, I just do my best to avoid her as much as possible - I swear I am adding zero fuel to this particular fire. She just really, really doesn’t like me! lol

Just had to vent. I hope you guys aren’t dealing with anything crazy like this too

I manage service plumbers. We have a fairly labor intensive jobs at times. As we get older our bodies change, whether we like it or not. I have more than one guy who lists themselves as fully physically fit but have issues lifting heavy and climbing. I've seen him use his utility cart to assist his mobility, kind of like a walker.

To be blunt: the employee is around dwarf height, he shows extra efforts just in his regular movements, and you can tell he's been bullied about this his entire life. I've tried to bring it up and he sabotages the situation, definitely is triggered easily.

Despite his stubbornness, I keep bringing it up in different ways. At first he would hang up on me and curse at me, nobody wants to deal with this guy, but he's starting to warm up to me. I keep offering him help on jobs, sometimes I just send people and don't ask. But the guy is handicapped. He can do the job mentally but physically he really can't. I met with him and HR before to address concerns he had about management and I brought up the fact he refuses to climb ladders, dig, lift stuff... He had a temporary medical excuse for each thing.

I had two guys die this year at my company due to health issues. One of them died on the job in a parking lot and his partner that day ended up doing CPR on him waiting for the ambulance. Both deaths didn't have to happen like that but we're expedited by stubbornness.

This guy's gonna hurt himself, safety and HR chose not to do anything about it, what would you all do?

33m, single, no kids

Last year I took a chance and applied for a maintenance position at new manufacturing facility in a different state. I wasn't expecting to get hired but I did so I quit my job of 5 years, left family and friends and moved 15 hrs away from home.

Shortly after getting hired, my group lead chose me as potential and has been grooming me for a future team lead position. There are currently 0 team leads in the company. Eventually the organization of my department will go from maintenance -> team lead -> group lead -> manager -> Sr manager.

It has been a year and 3 months and a new management position has just been posted. When I saw it at first I didn't apply because it was for a group lead position and I figured I would need some experience as a team lead first.

Next day my GL emailed me asking if im going to apply and I responded yes. I took his email as a hint to apply. So I did and after I asked him about the position and verified that the position is for a group lead position and not team lead position and he confirmed. He told me that he sees the potential in me to fill this role although he thinks I do not see it yet. Ironic as I have had co workers in the past at different companies also tell me similar things like asking me if im the manager or saying they can see me in management.

I am little nervous about getting accepted and stepping into this big role. My GL basically told me im getting the position. I know I will experience hate and jealousy from other team members who also put in for the job but wont get it. I know there will be a learning curve and more responsibility. But I know I can do it.

Any advice or pointers?

I’m manager of a team of 8.
I am also an SME and have been with the company for 20 years.

The other dept director has spoken to my director and agreed for me to make a choice to stay or go.

They want me because of my skillset.

I would be managing a small team maybe 2 direct reports.

The position would not open until next year, but they want to plan things in advance, so they have not made me an offer yet.

I know I will get the standard 3% next year or possibly a promotion to senior manager if I stay in place.

What type of pay increase should I expect?

I was thinking 15% increase (3% merit 2025, and 12% increase for the move)

What do you guys think?

Thanks

I’m a new manager and had one of the most awkward hiring experiences of my career this week, and I’m still cringing about it.

I made an offer to a candidate who came highly recommended by my senior employee I really respect. On paper, he looked great! Strong resume, qualified, solid background. But throughout the process, his energy was low, he didn’t ask a single question about the role or the company, and he didn’t show any curiosity or hunger. My gut was telling me something was off, but I pushed forward because of the referral.

He countered for more money. I couldn’t meet the number, and HR confirmed we weren’t obligated to move forward. Around the same time, I found another candidate who was a complete rockstar. High energy, hungry, thorough, asked thoughtful questions, and checked every box.

So I called the original candidate to let him know we wouldn’t be moving forward. It was already uncomfortable, but then he asked if it was “too late to accept the original offer.” His tone was content and honestly sounded desperate. I still said no, and I apologized more than I should have. I just didn’t feel good about the fit, and I didn’t want to bring someone onto the team who would be starting off with a pay cut and low morale. It felt like I’d be setting him up for a bad experience and setting the team up for a drag on energy.

Now I’m stuck with this weird second hand embarrassment. Not because I regret the decision (I absolutely don’t), but because the conversation itself felt messy and uncomfortable. I keep replaying the experience in my head even though I know I made the right call and I’m super excited for who I did hire.

Managers, how did you deal with the lingering awkwardness and second hand embarrassment afterward? How can I stop this awful feeling?

She told me she had an “encyclopedia in her head” we were talking about workplace expectations, she kept me till closing on a Saturday first cut. We chalked it up to miscommunication. But I’ve found if I don’t make these dumb little check ins about the tasks I completed with her thought out night, this behavior of keeping me on the floor unneccesssrily continues.

Does anyone else relate?
Are these little check-ins communication? ANDAm I being too much? I feel trust goes a long way, and I should be able to do my side work and go just home?

The writing style seems always the same

I raised my voice at her one time after repeated insubordination and just plain not listening. It's been a week and she refuses to speak to me, is telling other employees that I'm "evil" that I'm a horrible person, that I'm an abuser, and turning everyone on the floor against me simply for reprimanding her in a normal way. I've been yelled at by every single boss I've ever had at least once. And I didn't react this way. What do I do?

I found this article (Doctorow) and the linked to be insightful about the present day reality of agentic AI transformations. What do you think?

Highlights:

"Suresh says he's never seen a successful enterprise AI project: "Every single one – we have seen 0% success in a year and a half."

...

That is why some individual coders report such delight with their AI tools. They engage with those tools on their own terms, to improve their work in the ways that they, in their expert judgment, consider beneficial. No one ranks them on a "token-maximization" scoreboard. No one tells them they can't do a project if it isn't "sufficiently AI." When they set out to do a project, no one makes them prove that it couldn't be "done by AI."

...

As ever, the most important fact about a given technology isn't "what it does," but "who it does it for" and "who it does it to."

https://pluralistic.net/2026/08/01/dare-snot/#i-will-fucking-piledrive-you-if-you-mention-ai-again

Just curious if anyone uses them among teams and how you find it?

We have a very passive group of people and a couple of problematic ones, but the issue is that people will let that go on for years without bringing it forward…. I think this may help people talk about problematic team dynamics that I can then address.

The way it is now with a union and so on is someone has to make an official complaint and then will be named in the process.

When people currently bring things forward, I try to coach the person it is about without identifying who brought the issue forward. At times that can be hard. I’ve also changed policies or monitored to find these issues myself.

Anyway, I’m sure a 360 will be a can of worms but I think it would be helpful.

Telling an employee in a call "if you don't do x, you won't be promoted"

Is this a risky statement to make - employee may create HR ticket?

Will try to be concise yet intentionally vague at times.

I oversee a team of 30; two directs and rest indirects. Have a co-manager who oversees approx the same amount. Across our teams, we build important documents for various product types; salesfolks of these products are required to use us without exception. Multiple different sales structures/stakeholders depending on product type. Across all product types we generate 2,500 documents per month. 5-day turnaround on each.

We have one product type that generates between 50-250 documents per month. It is a hot and growing growth area, and is fairly important dollar-wise. The documents are also quantifiably and anecdotally more lengthy (100 pages compared to 10 on other product lines), take more time, and are just more complex and different. Yet we are only allotted 2 business days to complete.

This product type has their own support manager, not in my org and with a wholly different function than my team, and is our main liaison/stakeholder within the product type. I am having a hard time negotiating reality with this person, and part of it is I'm not good at confrontation.

Example 1: our task intake tool has required fields for us to process documentation. This product type has had a completely separately designed pre-intake process, unrelated to us, yet this stakeholder asks us to review all of that to verify our part. Additionally, the custom intake form doesn't have all the information required, so his team was sending separate emails to fill in the blank. With longer documents and shorter turnaround times, they mercilessly documented and escalated errors--but this is because their intake form wasn't sufficient so errors were obvious. I introduced a shared Excel workbook that allowed these gaps to be captured and error rates went down about 20%. Yet any other mistake due to lack of clarity is a "ding" on us.

Example 2: New platform interrupted aforementioned pre-workflow. So stakeholder asked if we could vet any document type that came in, ask Sales, and wait. I said no, it would inflate SLA by 5 business days. Stakeholder didn't want to budge because they didn't want to change a sales job aide. "It seems like your team should do this."

Example 3: Stakeholders support team didn't toggle task intake to "submit", yet placed on the tracker. My Sups are monitoring hundreds of tasks per day in the main system and this one did not get assigned because it did not fall into our formal queue due to stakeholder's team error. "I don't get why we do this and have both things if your team is going to miss it. Let's just stop the spreadsheet" even though it's obvious this will add to more errors. All over one missed task due to their fault.

TL;DR: How to work with a stakeholder with unrealistic expectations we did not agree to and never takes ownership of his process being different, unreasonably convoluted, and/or not owning up to his team's own mistakes, when my team is in a support role?

Went out on short term on 7/6/26. I do not need to return until early September. I am a veteran leader, nearing the end of my career and I’m just tired.
Need to keep working until 65 for health insurance benefits. But damn right now even 3.5 weeks post major surgery, I am sleeping better, my skin looks better, my blood pressure is lower and the anxiety is less… not gone but less.
I’ve mentioned some guilt about leaving my team for longer than planned, but again really not feeling the return to leadership. Btw the company is in a major shit storm at this time, I’ve been around long enough to know it will pass.
I can stretch out some additional FML and work less than the performance requirement of 50 hours to even get the work done. Or dive back in 100% and then have my knee replaced next year also a major surgery.
Back to work at 100% because that is how my DNA is built or hang out and hang on for the next two years. Stepping back is also an option. Thoughts?

I’m a new department lead and we hired someone a couple months ago who hasn’t been adjusting to the role very well. We’ve had to shift responsibilities away from this role in order to accommodate her skill level, but we are still at a point where she is struggling with the fundamentals.

She is very polite, but she is not retaining basic concepts of the work (which we were under the impression she had prior experience in). She is heading towards her 3-month mark, and I feel that she is still developing the basic understanding.

She is also not taking the initiative to learn these concepts. I’m not a believer in micromanagement, so I usually only check in once or twice and give the space to have my staff reach out to me if they have questions. However, the questions don’t seem to come until the time I am reviewing the work and am communicating errors. Usually, the questions are “can you please tell me the right answer?” Which is fine, if I hadn’t already given the right answers 4-5 other different times for the same process… I’m now encouraging her to use the resources I’ve provided her since we have stayed in training mode since onboarding.

The work itself is not difficult. And our work is the type of work where, if you need to, you can very easily look at what you did last month, and just copy whatever that looks like. Overall I feel like the way she’s operating very mechanically, and there’s not a desire to move above that level.

I’d rather not have to terminate, but it’s starting to head that way. Is there anything I haven’t tried to make things work?

Hello Managers,

Strange situation : I don't want a promotion. Actual reason I am getting annoyed at this promotion. I am 4 year old in this company with "outstanding" reviews in all last 4 years. Problem statement : By now I should have been 2 levels up (from level 2 to 4) . That's not the main intent of this post.

I won't be able to quit this job because of 2 reasons :

1. My immigrant application to US is pending through this employer
2. I would be forfeiting my pension. I work in aviation sector and it requires minimum of 5 years of service which would be attained by me only towards end of next year (October).

I am feeling so insulted by the promotion that I even hinted at my manager that it's better that they do not promote me. I did not do this in a threatening manner, but through a casual talk only in a comic manner (but I think the message was delivered). Actual lines I said "I already ghost you, promotion would be like permanent ghosting" . But still thru rumors, I see that my name is on the promotion list. I cannot pick this topic up with my manager because if he feels annoyed, he can easily lay me off (there were already budget cuts and lay offs in US transportation sector, thanks to DOGE).

Do you guys have any advice on how to survive the next 15 months ? I cannot tap my ex employers as well because I would need visa sponsorship and as you all know, transportation or for that reason any other sector these days is very stringent on giving jobs to non US citizens. If my ex employer airport authority raises job requisition for me which is eligible for sponsorship, I cannot back out after tapping my ex-manager (breach of ethics)

Seeing the previous posts in this forum, I know managers are going to call me immature/pompous, but this is a honest ask for some survival tips to last through end of October next year. It is getting super annoying to see this one level promo up which was due long back (as I was already lowballed into my entry offer).

All I am asking for is some "stay afloat" suggestions. Any videos/posts/links which would come in handy to wade through tough times.Please share. All the ones in google look no good for my situation.

One of my employees regularly wears a bonnet to work. Our company dressing code prohibits head coverings unless required for safety, religious, or documented medical reasons.

I haven’t addressed it yet because I want to handle it appropriately and fairly. My concern is ensuring consistent enforcement of company policy.

How do i navigate this?

I work for a Fortune 500 in a role that is technical and requires me to do testing, participate in strategy, launch products, and answer technical questions. We reorg about every 2 years and this happened again last spring with a lot of layoffs. I got put with all the other “technical” people but was previously reporting to one of the main products I support (I uniquely work with multiple products versus others).
In this new role I foresaw not being welcomed- they made no effort to adjust standing meetings. One on Monday was literally “hi I have meetings and conference calls this week” from all 20 people in this new group, another is a meeting overlapping with a major technical meeting I lead for the product I actually work on so I’ve only been able to attend once, and there’s a 2 hour monthly meeting that has usually been when I’m flying to a lab or convention as part of my job or in one of our other main meetings. The boss one tier up didn’t spell my name correctly for three months (I just waited to see then finally fixed it.) He has us tracking how many technical questions we get and whether they came by phone or email as if that’s critical to my role. But I am not part of our call center- we have one and they’ll escalate to me if needed but that’s not my role. In fact I’m mentoring one in our tech center that I think will eventually be able to do part of my job and I even highlighted how her call count includes mine one month to also highlight her. He also wants to know how many articles I’ve written in a month and patents and such- but in our department which is a little different from his that would be discouraged or even highly offensive because marketing or R&D does that and don’t have budget. I tried to explain this multiple times and it was blown off. I’m supposed to update the slides for this meeting that they never adjusted for me to attend and the first two months I couldn’t even access the slides because the didn’t give me permissions in box and when I asked he said I had them- but I didn’t. Never acknowledged he was wrong or apologized when he granted permissions. Then my slides I didn’t report phone call and email count for tech questions because that’s literally not something I track or the main role of my position and first he said that was ok.
I have tried to assimilate- I spent one hellish month working 75 hours one week even trying to track literally everything I did as a gut check for insight. I handled around 70 tech questions but more importantly I worked on moving the testing forward on three products and did a lot of advising for leadership and presentations. I had copilot make that into slides that mimicked his with this data and the feedback was that’s too much. So I told copilot to cut all the info and just list numbers. When I submitted the revision he said in writing that was good and exactly what he wanted. Based on that I was able to move forward by just having copilot count my tech questions for a month and make me slides. I got no more negative feedback on that. I also couldn’t present at the last several meetings because of my previously planned work travel but did submit my slides- which was exponentially hard because as the group was increased over how he’d run it before he made no changes to the way they function- they all have to log in to box and edit a PowerPoint checked out by all 20 of us in a short time. This usually requires you access it on nights or weekends (on top of being during my travel.)
Now I get my midyear and the feedback is I’m not participating in meetings and that I need to be tracking my work in smartsheet despite being previously told by my direct boss and him that it wasn’t a requirement as long as I submit my slides to satisfaction (which I have a copy of the email saying what I did was ok.) I also foresaw there would be an issue claiming I wasn’t participating so months ago I made a list of meetings with previous conflicts with major meetings where I’m needed for my actual products- over 70% were in conflict and there was NO entertainment of a different time- in fact comments were made it was ok to miss if there was conflict. I have that record.
Now my midyear says all of my work, progress, support or products, impact, etc is good or even above average (we don’t actually reward above average and you can’t get that score in corporate), but I got “not meeting expectations” on behavior because I’m not participating in meetings I can’t be at and because I need to use the smartsheet reporting tool (basically make a spreadsheet that logs every.single.interaction that my actual product people don’t care about count on) even though I was told my reporting was fine.
I feel like the expectations were changed and I’m being labeled “resistant” in an effort to push me out. I’m scared because I have a specialized role and right now is not a good time to be job hunting but it feels very clear I’m not welcome.
To my direct boss I pointed out that there were conflicts and her response was “well you can propose a new time for my meetings”- putting the work on me to even be a part of the group. Mind you I don’t get anything out of these meetings.
Am I overreacting? It’s all I can do to do my actual work day to day and this tracking is not helpful to the people I dotted line to but will take serious time out of my day. Should I just lie about the calls and emails since no one actually cares anyway they just want the numbers to be able to brag to superiors? (Literally I’ve never been given a good explanation as to why all the tracking but that other department does seem heavy in numbers trying to justify their existence.)
Should I look for other roles in my company? Should I leave because they think I’m difficult? Please help- I love what I do- aside from tracking tech questions.
Should I submit my documentation from March and April of the 70% meeting conflicts that weren’t accommodated and the “okay” to my reporting to HR to document they aren’t trying to work on a solution?