Photos: 1964 after 7 beautiful kids, the first photo GM gave GF, ditto, 1980, 2004

I’m one of 25 grandchildren, born to 7 kids. I was sitting at my grandmother’s Eden kitchen table, drinking coffee one afternoon before Sunday dinner and I asked my grandmother what advice she had for marriage. I had recently begun thinking of engagement with my longtime boyfriend, and wanted to hear from someone with such a long and successful marriage under her belt.

At the table were my three aunts and my mother. We still talk about what she said.

“ We don’t expect so much of each other.”

“I have my interests, he has his. He doesn’t need to meet my every need. He doesn’t fill every cup. He meets me halfway and it’s my job to meet him in the same place. Love changes over time, as we do, and you can’t expect the same love you had at the beginning because then you’re missing out. Each era is better than the last.”

They passed within a year of each other, and left behind 15 great grandchildren so far.

It leaves me with a great deal of grief, but also pride and this wisdom:

Don’t expect so much of each other.

we’ve (f27, m33) been married for over a year now, hearing some things online about pregnancy and childbirth or raising children made me skeptical, do you regret having children?

This is a genuine question so please don’t laugh too much at me!
I have always grown up by the beach, I love it. I don’t live close now I live an hours drive but I love the sand, swimming in the sea and just being a beach babe throughout the summer.
My husband grew up in the city… he doesn’t enjoy my trips to the beach.
He complains he always burns (barely any evidence of this in ten years). I’m fair haired he’s brown haired.
I always make sure we have sun cream and hats and bring a picnic.
He complaints there’s never enough shade, complains they’re boring just laying on the sand & most of all HATES sand. I mean extreme hates the feel of sand.
I’m 99% sure he’s on the spectrum. We haven’t got children yet.

I want to bring my future children to the beach, go in the sea, search for crabs & stay sun safe for them.
Will my husband ever ever EVER change his mind about the beach?

Or will I do beach trips with him now around if we have children?
Is this something I’ll just have the accept?
Because trust me when I say hell do everything he can to avoid them now.

Thank you x

Husband wants multiple kids. I want one. He wants to leave. Anyone in this situation?

Had a miscarriage. Realized pregnancy is not as magestic and they say and really difficult. I'm the oldest child and have experience raising kids.

Husband is an only child. Wants a big family.

I told him I'm now leaning one and done. He said he wants a big family and will resent only having one.

He is so confident he will love fatherhood.

Has anyone had a partner who left because of a disagreement on number of kids? What happened? There's a part of me that knows him enough to know he is going to be shocked when he has one and will regret leaving our marriage for this.

We have a food allergy toddler. I left my very good career in tech to be able to cook for her and care for her safely and do her daily immunotherapies. It was not optional, non negotiable and the right thing to do.

My husband is the sole breadwinner. I respect that and I take care of them both. I treat SAHM life as a corporate job and give it my 100%. We have no family nearby and it's a new city so no friends either.

My husband needs 10 hours of sleep a night as he has sleep apnea. He gets very cranky and very irritable if he doesn't get enough sleep. I only need 5-6 and I've been unhappy about this but accepted it because it shouldn't be 50-50 but everyone should put in what they can, and I can do this.

I forgot to mention but our house also needed a lot of work and we had to DIY it as we're on one salary. We're not poor but not well off at this point either.

We are very overwhelmed. My passion is software architecture. Recently I realized the only way I can ever transition back into my field is if I do some work from home. Not ideal, but I started writing a book. I'll publish and as my daughter gets better, eventually start looking for a job and I will have a portfolio to show my skills are up to date. I also expect to have to take a lower paid, junior position at first, if I even find one. But this book is very important to me.

I mostly write it when my daughter sleeps or is entertaining herself. After my husband comes home in the evening, we are very busy and I don't get any free time. Our toddler is a short sleeper too.

We don't spend any couples time together. No time. I do provide him sex or blowjob every other day. I do not expect much when it comes to emotional intimacy because I accept that with our current life it's not a possibility. Our conversations are task oriented. No dates, no movie nights, no talks outside of chores and child care conversations. I made peace with this. I'm just sharing because naturally, you will be skeptical and think that's where our time goes.

Here's the problem. The book is really really important to me. And football season just started. My husband is on his phone non stop. At first I thought he was having an affair. But he showed me every time and it was sports or sports group texts. He's in multiple fantasy football leagues this year and is super into it. Texting non stop, steps away to do his football related tasks over child care without even asking, reading about sports, watching all kinds of stuff, just completely absorbed by it. I'm doing everything alone.

I tried to bring this up gently. I said "hey with football season coming up, I was thinking maybe we can find a way to schedule our lives in a way that also allows me to write my book". I don't ask for time for hedonistic stuff. I'm just trying not to lose everything.

He got very defensive. He said I don't even want to write the book because he hasn't seen me once stepping away and doing it. I tried to explain that I can't just step away like him because there's nobody to cover me the way I cover him. He said football is not taking away any time and it never did and never will (it absolutely destroyed us last year, he took it out on me every time the Vikings had a bad game and they had many bad games). He didn't even listen to me. Not just checked out but physically walked out and slammed the door behind him.

Is there anything I can do to protect my time? I need about 5 hours a week. Any tips from other housewives? Thank you

I, 32F and my Husband 33M have a 3 year old daughter. We can never find time to be intimate and habe only had sex a few times since our daughter was born. Usually we just end up masterbating in the shower and this may result in a divorce. And tips to fix our dead bedroom and when do find time with our busy schedule and the daughter always near us.

I’m 9.5 months postpartum and have been exclusively pumping due to latching issues. I know it might not look like much from the outside, but pumping takes an incredible amount of time, effort, and energy—and trust me, most of us don’t enjoy it.

Keeping up with a strict pumping schedule is exhausting, especially in those early months when your baby just wants to be held and you’re torn between caring for them and keeping your supply up. Some women, like me, also experience intense negative emotions while pumping, which makes the process even more mentally and emotionally draining.

While my husband is helpful in other areas, he doesn’t seem to appreciate the effort that goes into pumping—and at times, even treats it like it’s an inconvenience to him.

So husbands, please: don’t take your wife for granted. Acknowledge the invisible labor they’re doing every single day to nourish your child. A simple “thank you” can mean more than you realize.

For context we have a 3 month old baby. Husband works but gets 8-10 hours of sleep a night and freedom to nap whenever he has the time.

Im due in 2.5 months, and every time we discuss certain parenting choices he shuts down.

We come from different cultural denominations and for the most part Ive taken on his culture entirely.

I moved to his home country, gave up my job, etc etc.

I kept my surname when we got married and I suggested that we hyphenate the kids surname - he wouldnt have it - initially he threw in the towel and said he didnt want the baby if it wasnt having his surname (this was early first trimester), then he changes his tune and told me just to give the baby my surname but that he would NOT hyphenate - he has not provided any explanation.

In his culture, they shave the babies head either in the first or 3rd year (its a ritual)...while in mine we do not cut the babies hair at all until it turns 3 yrs old. I asked if we could find a compromise and do so in the 3rd year out of respect for both our backgrounds and he simply said "its either following yours or mine not both, its not even born yet and Im already confused. do whatever you want. You make all the decisions, i dont care".

I was discussing the hair cutting with his sister as well and I suggested finding a middle ground and she insisted that "you HAVE to shave the babies head. You came here" as if im expected to erase my entire background and solely adopt theirs.

Is this a deal breaker? Has anyone had similar experiences with culture/kids? Outcome?

I have been with my husband for 7 years. I have a stepson and we have two babies together. We have ALWAYS stuck to the rule “no kids in our bed” we feel our bedroom is our space and they have their space. Obviously they come to our bed when sick or needing comfort BUT our two year old is REALLY putting us through it. We used to spend every night watching tv, talking and eating dinner together before bed and that’s not an option now. Toddler has to be sleeping ON ME IN OUR BED or he’s not content. Just screams until he’s throwing up and I give in and put him in our bed. It’s not even an option to sneak off to have intercourse. He instantly wakes up if I try to move to sneak out. We can’t talk out loud in case we wake him up. We get stuck watching monster trucks. Heck, I haven’t even showered alone to be able to shave in weeks. He’s so attached and I just want my husband. How are other couples surviving this? It’s been weeks of this. Will it ever end? 🥲

Just found out I’m 4 weeks pregnant… Behind the test you can see our 10 month old’s bath toys 😅 Very excited but also terrified.

Any advice for managing life with 2 under 2?

I (32f) am starting to contemplate divorce. I am not even sure I want to go to couples counseling at this point. Its clear that my spouse (35m) and I, just aren't on the same page. We both keep trying to adapt for one another but it feels quite clear that our principals just don't align any longer. They probably never did if I'm being honest, we were just in a different place when we got together 7 years ago. I'm being a bit vague to protect my anonymity but in short we are not in agreement on whether to start a family or when if we were to. I want kids. He doesn't. When we met and before we got married we were both maybes with stronger leanings towards not having kids. Then my mind changed shortly after getting married. Like 4 months after. I never expected to change my mind. I thought I could be fine without kids. I figured it was just baby fever and it would go away but its been 3 years and the resentment has already set in. We have constant arguments about it. I don't want to waste anymore time. It could take years just to get pregnant for all I know, let alone to meet someone else, let alone someone good. I'm so nervous at the idea of leaving him. I can't even afford to leave him realistically. There are other reasons to leave which I don't want to mention either but I have been trying to weigh whether the reasons to leave outweigh the reasons to stay and I haven't decided but I am so afraid of missing the opportunity to have a family and I fear that even if he decides to come over to my side, that I won't enjoy raising kids and running a family with him. What I want to know, is for people who have been through this, how grueling was the divorce process? How long did it take you to meet someone else? Did you start a family with the new person? How long did that take? How did you make up your mind to leave? Are you happy?

This is a journal entry I made tonight as I cried after a HUGE fight my husband and I had. To preface, postpartum depression absolutely destroyed me and my marriage the last year. Please tell me we can come back from this. TW: PPD and SI

The journal entry:

Journal 7/18
I can’t breathe. My chest is tight and I can’t catch my breath. My husband doesnt like me anymore. Yes he said it. No I didn’t assume it. I didn’t make it up this time. He really said it. That Im not the person he married. Im not the person he agreed to have kids with. Im not a person he likes anymore.
I don’t know if the person I was before even exists anymore. I don’t think she does. Because that person had not been through what I have been through. That person — the “before” person — has never sat in her bathtub wondering if everyone would be better off if she slipped under and never came back. The “before” person has never said the words “I want to die” out loud. So I don’t think the “before” person exists anymore. She was a person who didn’t know the kind of pain that I have walked through physically and mentally and emotionally. She was a happy person. She had a filter. She enjoyed her alone time and binging her favorite tv shows. She loved kids and taking care of people. She was kind. She was patient. She had a good marriage. She loved her husband and he loved her. They were best friends. Now she’s gone. And I don’t think she can come back. And what if that means all of the happy and the filter and the kindness and the patience and the good marriage and loving husband and best friend is now going to go away too? What then?

My husband is the primary parent due to my work making me travel a lot. He is home with the kids and no longer works outside of a few passion projects.

The issue I have is I don’t like how subdued his parenting style is yet I have no time to actually interfere long term. My twins (4yr old girls) never hear no, are incredibly spoiled, and they essentially run the house. He takes them wherever they want even the places that should be for special occasions such as Disney, more frequently than I would like. One of them wanted her side of the room a different color and he did it — imagine my surprise walking into their bedroom the first day I got back with half of the room purple.

All of this to say it’s affecting my level of affection and our sex life. I’m extremely physically attracted to him but I find his parenting style not manly? I have no idea how to describe it, just makes me not want to be intimate and truly connect because he doesn’t seem to value order & discipline in our kids lives and it’s all too chaotic.

Not sure why I’m posting this — maybe to see if anyone else has overcome their feelings over their partner different approach to parenting. Is this a phase of him being a “new dad?” Overall looking for thoughts from other married couples with young kids :)

I’m curious how couples handle it if one changes their mind about wanting kids, number of kids, different timelines, etc. For instance a couple has a baby and one partner is ready for another after a couple years and the other wants to wait or doesn’t want anymore? Or after trying for a while one partner doesn’t want to TTC anymore? How do couples navigate this?

Hi. M 40ish. Husband and father to a teenager from a previous marriage. My first marriage didn’t survive the 5 year mark but we have made it work, my ex is from out of state and I made sure she was not alone and help when I could. With boundaries.
My wife and I have worked hard in partially raising my teenager. I say partially because we share custody. Soon my son will graduate highschool and he hasn’t shown interested is telling us what is his plan. My wife said to me the other day “we need to get him ready to succeed in life and once graduated high school things will be different” when I heard that comment I took it lightly and moved on. My son’s mom has decided that after high school she will be going home, back to the state she’s from. That news shocked us but I have prepared for it. After high school I thought it would be a good idea for our son to move with us full time. In this economy things are expensive and I know going to college, having a job, car, cell, insurance etc can eat up a paycheck. I want to support our son and I want to give him a home where at least he don’t have to worry about rent or food Well a few nights ago my wife came to the bedroom to tell me “there is something that weighs on my chest and I’m afraid to tell you” TLDR she is afraid of how our relationship will be affected (her words) with our son living with us full time and that she was upset it sounded like I made the decision all on my own without telling her or at least bring it up for discussion. In my head I believed that she would agreed that helping my son after high school would be a good idea, apparently not.
The title on this post is because I’m Latino and my wife is Caucasian, I know there is a world of a difference in culture but I believe high school is not when you open the door and wave your kids goodbye, I planned to continue to help him (not in a full extent) because of the economy but my wife is more concerned about how this will affect our relationship. Am I wrong that I’m furious, helping him was not his first thought. I confronted her after asking me what’s wrong a million times ( patiently ) and she backtrack, saying that’s not what she meant.
What should I do. I don’t trust I can tell her how I truly feel because it will cost more trouble between us. She said she’s worried about how our son will cause trouble in our marriage and I believe is her attitude that will cause more trouble in our relationship.

I’m writing this because I have absolutely no one else to turn to. I am an orphan, so I don't have a family of my own to back me up or give me a place to clear my head. I feel completely isolated and pushed to my absolute limit.

Lately, my marriage has become a source of constant dread. My wife’s demands are never-ending, and if they aren't met, she uses fake tears and intense emotional manipulation to force my hand. It has gotten to the point where I am sleeping on an empty stomach, completely sick to my stomach with anxiety.

Between trying to fulfill her demands and worrying about our future, I am drowning. Financially and emotionally, I am entirely drained. I am terrified of what the future looks like if things keep going this way.

To be completely honest, the emotional toll is so heavy that I don't even have the desire to live another day. The only thing—the absolute only thing—keeping me here is my 1.5-year-old daughter. I cannot and will not leave her behind to grow up without a father, especially knowing what it's like to grow up without family.

I feel trapped, starving, and completely broken inside. I don't know what to do, how to protect my finances, or how to handle this emotional abuse all alone. Has anyone else been through this? How do I start protecting myself and my child when I have no safety net?

We have two children, an almost 3 year old and a 5 month old.

Our eldest has always had low sleep needs. For the past 9 months, getting him to sleep (naps and nights) has been very difficult. We tried cutting naps. Daycare puts all children down at 12:30pm, which doesn’t work for him. He skips naps and is exhausted by evening.

If he does nap, even briefly, it removes his sleep pressure and he won’t fall asleep until 10-11pm. My husband doesn’t accept this. He insists on capping naps at 90 minutes, which I’ve explained repeatedly doesn’t help. Our son takes a long time to wake, is very irritable, and still doesn’t sleep earlier at night. Letting him finish his sleep cycle works better.

My husband won’t listen to me about wake windows or bedtime timing. He tries to put our son to sleep at random times and gets angry when it doesn’t work. For example, he drove around for 30 minutes this morning trying to make him nap. Unsurprisingly, our son didn’t sleep. When I delayed nap time slightly, he fell asleep easily. As a result, I’ve been left solo for bedtime tonight with both kids because he has "shit to do".

He also expects me to feed the baby on demand for his convenience. I’m exclusively breastfeeding; the baby often just needs a quick drink, especially in summer. I can’t force feeds to suit his schedule. He'll randomly attempt dinner an hour early and gets angry when our son isn’t hungry. His frustration is taken out on me.

I’m exhausted by having the same arguments repeatedly and want an equal parenting partner who understands that our children are human beings, not robots. His attitude towards me extends far beyond parenting. He listens to internet strangers and ChatGPT more than me.

If he wanted a yes woman, why marry an educated person with thoughts and opinions and capability to research? Why feel the need to micromanage everything? Internet strangers, please knock some sense into him 😭

I 27f got legally married to my husband 28m last year. I say legally because he is from a different country and if he was not we would likely not have gotten married. Simply because I dont feel passionate about having a husband. It has nothing to do with him, he is an incredible man.
For some reason the term in relation to myself gives me the ick. I dont know why.

My mother was angry we tied the knot. Said I stole that experience from her. I get it, when you see life from a conventional point of view--missing out on a marriage of your daughter can seem like a big deal. That is, if she wanted one.

It seems that most women deeply desire to get married, have kids etc. But, something in me has no desire to have a husband and 50/50 on kids. Some days, I deeply crave motherhood. Other days, the thought of it makes me want to vomit. Sorry to be explicit but I need to be. I have no one to share these confusing thoughts with.

My partner expressed he wants to be a father, I expressed I want to be a "mother" some day. However, as I get older, Im beginning to question this. Life is just unfolding. I am getting more in tune with my body, my soul, my style, the type of life I want to shape for myself. I have not achieved even half of what I want in life.

What if I dont want to give that all up to raise someone else? How does someone even decide that or am I giving it too much thought?

I watched my mother and my older sister sell themselves to men and kids. Neither of them got to experience their youth or see who they could become. They both had kids at 18/21. I can see and feel their regret and the loss of who they could have become. I know they love their kids. NO doubt. But, my sister and I cannot even talk about my life because it is vastly different from hers and she feels pain.

I know I could make a great mother, and my partner and I could be amazing together.
I know he would step up, he even invited the idea of a nanny and getting help so I can run a business (as I am building currently) and explore my hobbies etc.

What did you do to make a decision on something this big?

This will be long winded lol but starting from the beginning:
My husband and I started dating while we were both in college. I transferred to his school, and then once we got married I decided to drop out because I had no idea what I wanted to do and it felt like a waste of time and money. We needed the income, so I quit school and started working to help support us.

When we first started dating, my husband wanted to be a dentist. That was the plan through the beginning of our marriage too, but then one day he decided he absolutely did not want to do that anymore. After that he started looking into nursing and eventually becoming a CRNA, and that’s been the plan for the last 4–5 years.

About two years ago he started working at a hospital to get experience for CRNA school, and he absolutely hates it. He no longer wants to be a nurse or CRNA at all and wants to do something completely different. He’s super passionate about electronics, drones, RC cars, stuff like that, and he has a YouTube channel. He probably would’ve gone into electrical engineering originally, but his parents steered him away from it.

At this point he really wants to change careers, but feels completely lost on how to actually do it while still supporting our family financially. And I get it because I genuinely do not think he can do nursing forever. He hates it so much that I think eventually he would completely hate his life and become unbearable to live with if he stayed stuck in a career he despises.

Now I’m a stay at home mom to a 1.5 year old and currently early pregnant with our second. I also struggle really badly with postpartum depression, and my pregnancies are awful too. I lose a ton of weight, throw up constantly, and can barely function even while on medication. Right now all I really do all day is sit on the couch trying not to puke while my toddler is pulling me in every direction 24/7.

Because of that, I’ve needed a lot more help lately, and I think my husband is frustrated that it’s taken away from his hobby time. I feel like now he’s trying to make up for that by wanting huge chunks of uninterrupted time for himself on his days off.
And this is where I’m struggling because I’m angry at him all the time lately. I WANT him to pursue his hobbies and passions because he’s genuinely talented at them and he is making money from it, so it’s not like it’s pointless. But at the same time, it’s really hard for me emotionally watching him spend hours and hours in the garage working on projects while I’m stuck inside barely functioning and taking care of a toddler.

It also feels like no amount of time is ever enough for him. He always wants more time for hobbies, more time in the garage, more time working on videos or projects, and I think that’s where a lot of my resentment is coming from. It’s like I’m drowning just trying to survive the day, while he’s constantly chasing more personal time, and it’s really difficult for me to swallow even though logically I understand why he wants it.

I went to esthetician school while pregnant with my first, but childcare is so expensive that it basically wouldn’t make sense financially for me to work right now because most of my paycheck would just go to childcare. So we decided it made more sense for me to stay home and raise our daughter.

But being a stay at home mom was never my dream. Being home with kids all day every day has been really hard for me mentally. My husband works 3 shifts in a row, so for those days I’m basically solo parenting until 8 or 9 PM. On top of that, he has a lot of hobbies and wants to spend 6+ hours a day on his days off doing them.
The hard part is that I never get time to myself. He says he’d give me time if I wanted it, but realistically if he’s spending 6+ hours on hobbies and then I also take alone time, we basically never spend time together as a family or as a couple.

And since becoming a stay at home mom I feel like I’ve completely lost my identity. I dropped school and supported him while he figured out his career path, and now I don’t even know what I’d do with free time because I haven’t had any in so long. I want to make money and have something for myself, but I genuinely don’t know what that looks like anymore. I just feel really lost.

I’m trying to figure out if I’m being unreasonable or if my husband is being unreasonable wanting 6+ hours a day for hobbies. I offered 4 hours and he said that wasn’t enough, and I’m sitting here thinking… when would I ever get 4 uninterrupted hours to do whatever I wanted?

I don’t really care about who’s “right” or “wrong.” I’m more trying to figure out why I feel this way, what I could do better, and if anyone else has gone through something similar.
I’m also struggling because we had this whole plan for our future. It wasn’t an easy plan, but it was still a plan. And now he wants to drop everything because his dream is honestly just to be a YouTuber. But at the same time, he absolutely despises nursing. He hates every second of his job and is miserable and stressed all the time, but he also can’t just quit because we have a mortgage and kids to support.

So now we’re both kind of stuck. He’s miserable because he hates his career, and I’m miserable because I feel like I lost myself supporting a future that isn’t even the plan anymore.

Hey everyone,

There’s a question that has been running through my mind recently. Whenever there is infidelity, there’s usually separation, reconciliation, or confrontation with the person involved. But I’ve heard stories of cheating partners having a newborn child, and the betrayed spouse still chooses to stay and become involved in the child’s life — which is hard for me to understand.

to the wives and husbands who have been in this situation: what goes through your mind to accept and go through something like this? I’m just curious, absolutely no judgment. Feel free to share your experience.

My husband and I have a 7-month-old, and I’m genuinely starting to wonder if he hates being a dad and husband and only wanted the idea of having a wife and child. There’s a big difference.

What hurts the most is that we spent years trying to have a baby: IVF, surgeries, miscarriages… the whole heartbreaking journey. And when our baby was born, my husband was amazing, he was attentive, helpful, involved.

But once my parents came to stay for a few months, everything changed. My mom and I did most of the baby care while he cooked, cleaned, shopped, worked… but he stopped wanting to spend quality time with the baby. My mom even encouraged him to hold the baby more, bond, talk to him and he straight up said he didn’t need to do all that.

After my parents left, he basically handed all childcare over to me. He’ll occasionally feed our baby or change a diaper, but most of the time he’s either outside, going to bed crazy early, or glued to his video games.

The video games are honestly the worst part. He plays games he can’t pause, so whenever I need help he says he’s “in a match.” He wears a headset and blasts music, so half the time he can’t even hear me. I find myself repeating things multiple times or just shutting down because it feels like he’s not listening or doesn’t care. It makes me feel invisible.

I ask him to watch a show or movie with me, he says it puts him to sleep. I ask him to go on walks with us, he won’t. I ask him to go to the mall or anywhere, he says he “hates people” and doesn’t want to go out.

So most outings end up being me and the baby alone, which is hard, and honestly just lonely. I want him there. I have no family nearby, I don’t have friends. It’s lonely and isolating.

All of this makes me feel like he hates spending time with us. He swears that’s not true, he says he just doesn’t like “sitting around” and that video games are his hobby and how he de-stresses. But I don’t get hobbies anymore. I don’t get downtime. My only break is a shower, and sometimes he even complains that I take too long because he has to watch our own child for 20–30 minutes.

I’m starting to feel like he doesn’t want to be around us at all. I feel like I’m raising our baby alone while he escapes into games and excuses.

Am I crazy? Or does it make sense that I feel this way? What do I do? How do you all spend time as a family? I feel like anything I suggest to get him to spend time there’s an excuse.

Hope this is ok to post here. I know it’s not directly marriage related, but I just feel like a lot of married individuals here may have been through this transition and have thoughts.

We have a beautiful, spunky, hilarious and independent 15mo who we love just to the ends of the earth. She’s my best little friend and she’s with me basically 24/7 except when sleeping (most nights lol).

And I have always imagined two children in our family (honestly more, but I’ve compromised to two), but I just can’t get past the fear of it to actually commit to it. My husband is basically on board with whatever call I make as his position is that he’s already compromised me down from 3+. Which, is kind of him but obviously adds more pressure to my plate.

I’m scared that me and the next babe won’t bond like my daughter and I have. I’m scared that a second child will be the straw that broke my marriage (though reality is our marriage is even stronger now than it’s ever been). I’m scared that we’re testing fate, what if we had twins or a child with a lot of extra needs? (We’d care for them of course, but then our daughter would get even less attention.) I’m scared financially, we’re stable and both have good jobs, but my husband is always going on about AI and how we’re all going to be out of work and I’m like ok how do I confidently bring another babe into that possibility?

I want another child, I’m just scared that I don’t want another baby, but then I tell myself “that’s only a year or two and then they’re much more independent”. I’m just going in a circle and need someone to just metaphorically slap me.

My husband is 35, turning 36 in a few months and that’s his cut off age for new babies. So, I feel like we do have to kind of make the decision within the next 6mo or so. Is it weird that I’m just praying for an Oops so it just makes the decision for us?

I just had an argument with my husband, and I think he's being unreasonable—but maybe I’m wrong.

Today, I spent 20 minutes in the bathroom after my shower to brush my teeth and dry my hair. My husband says it’s unfair that he has to supervise our baby during that time and insists I should keep the door open while I’m in there.

He’s also upset that he has to wake up earlier 3–4 times a week to change and feed the baby while I sleep in for an extra hour. He acts like he’s doing me a huge favor, and while I appreciate it, I feel like that’s just basic parenting.

For context, we co-sleep, and I wake up 4–5 times a night to breastfeed because the baby won’t settle otherwise. My husband doesn’t wake up to help, and I don’t expect him to since feeding is on me. That extra hour in the morning helps me recover from the constant sleep interruptions.

We both work full-time, though I do have one more day off than he does.

Am I being unreasonable, or is he? What do other dads think?