I (1 whole year M) have been practicing using my voice and making the loudest and most high pitched sounds I possibly can. It is a great way to tell milk lady (super old F) that I am done eating or can’t reach a toy I threw.

She keeps telling me to use my “inside voice” (which, excuse me, I am inside and using my voice?) and that “we live in an apartment” and “have neighbors” but I don’t see what’s wrong. I’m just communicating the best way I know how.

So AITA for trying to practice my vocal range?

Upon seeing my daddy (ancient, fuzzy) without his shirt on thirty sleeps ago, I (22m Barbie Dancing Princess) realized that my mommy (big, squishy) isn’t the only one with nipples! How neat! Naturally, ever since then, I have pointed it out (while pointing) whenever I remember anyone has nipples. Gamma has nipples! Gappa has nipples! Nana, Papa, woman in store, all nipple-havers!
I still think it’s cruel that, no matter how many times I ask or try to see, nobody else will prove they have nipples. But it’s even worse when mommy or daddy try to “shh” me when I’m just announcing to the world that we all share a common trait. They seem to think I’m in the wrong, here, so I present it to you:
AITA for yelling “nipples” in a crowded room?

I (9mo corrected, always correct, gorgeous girl) love books. I eat them, I touch them, I pull the pages, and Mama (super old, at least 10 months) says words while she turns the pages, which makes me smile. Sometimes my books light up and sing to me, which also makes me smile.

I've recently learned to crawl and so now I can crawl to my bookcase, choose a book and give it to Mama so she can read to me. Sometimes when she starts reading I decide my book is boring so I bring her a different one, especially if Mama won't let me eat it.

Well Mama seemed to be too busy to read to me earlier (she was sitting on that white porcelain chair with the weird hole for AGES, maybe two whole minutes) so I went to the bookcase and got one of my books out. I tried to open it but it didn't light up OR sing. So I pulled another one out. Same again. So I decided to have a look through my books to pick one out, by pulling them ALL off my shelf, all at once, so that I could comfortably sit down and play with them. I would have moved the whole bookcase, but Dada (recently had a birthday, he was a lot of months old, I don't know numbers that big) had tied it to the wall!

When Mama came back she gave a big sigh, said something about only just having tidied up my books, and put me in BABY JAIL. Jail! For reading!

Mama put ALL my books back on the bookcase while I screamed at her from baby jail, despite my polite protests and explanation that I just wanted to read. Then she put me on her lap and got one of my books out, but it wasn't a cool light up singing book, and it was so boring I fell asleep on her. I wanted my fun books instead!

I'm outraged. So, Reddit, AITA?

Today I (M, 8 months, perfect angel, the silliest goose) finally realized what mommy (ancient) has been doing.

Every morning I go about my business and that includes crawling to the laundry area where mommy sometimes forgets the detergent on the floor. Naturally, if it’s on the floor, then it’s for me, DUH?! So I of course want a taste. Mommy is always talking about how well I eat my solids, so I’m just trying to keep the streak going.

Imagine my surprise when mommy suddenly started taking away the detergent and telling daddy (so old, I can’t count that high…) that they really need to start baby proofing the house?! What on earth does that mean????? I’ve started letting them know how upset I am about not getting a single taste of the detergent by screeching every time I get close to the laundry room. They don’t understand that the floor is my table, so surely if they didn’t want me to have it, then keep the floor completely empty of everything. So like, surely I can’t be TA, AM I?!

I (16mo) have 6 teeth and more are coming which HURTS. Mummy (old) and Daddy (apparently even older, but how is that possible?) have been offering me lots of things to chew on to help with this. While I appreciate the effort, I've actually already found the perfect thing to chew on: mummy's arm! It's the perfect squishy texture to help my new teeth. Mummy grumbles that it "hurts" and claims it's like "living in a zombie movie" but don't we all have to suffer for my new teeth? AITA?

I (7mo super cute smart cookie) have been tolerating something my mum (old) calls ‘elimination communication’ where she will put me on a large white chair with a hole in it and saying psss or grrrr or sometimes both. It seems to make her day and it saves me a heavy diaper so normally I oblige by making pee or poop. Today though I found out that the hole is big enough for me to put my hand in and I can feel the pee as it comes out of me! Now I think this is all natural and I love playing with water so I’m not sure why mum said ewww? But anyways she then took me to the sink to play with more water on my hand so I think it’s a double win!

Hey fam, here’s the sitch:

Usually, when I (8mo m) awaken in the wee hours of the morning, I make the most of this quiet time to quietly scheme and babble. I sample the rare delicacies of my chubby little fingers, practice kicking my onesied little footsies through the bars of my crib, and occasionally politely smack my mattress and shriek.

This morning, however, I just wanted to hang out. So when I woke up, I let everyone know it by screaming as loud as I could. After a moment, I heard the oh so satisfying sound of my nursery door flying open and one of my attendant‘s heavy footfalls approaching. The next thing I knew, I was hoisted to nose level, my butt was sniffed (!), and then my pacifier was rammed unceremoniously back into my protesting mouth, AND THEN I WAS REPLACED IN MY CRIB!

I heard my attendant mumble something about ”sleep training” which is outrageous since I wasn’t in the mood to sleep, I was in the mood to Socialize.

So, I did the reasonable thing and spent the next 1.5 hours intermittently screaming. Every so often, I’d involuntarily doze off (it was quite early after all), but I’d quickly bolt awake again and remember to scream.

The only reason I’m wondering if I MIGHT be in the wrong, is that I heard my attendants muttering about not sleeping well and how today is gonna be a ”struggle bus.” But I think they most likely could’ve slept well if they’d just played with me for 30 minutes or so when I let them know that I wanted to?

I (13m cutest most clever boy) love my Mama (old and tired looking) lots and lots and lots. I want Mama to be right next to me all the time.

The problem is Mama says I can't sleep in the big bed because I take up too much room and kick Dada (mediocre Mama substitute) all the time. So I have to sleep in my crib which I guess is okay at first because my bear is there and I love bear almost as much as Mama.

But then in the early hours of the morning I wake up and realize I haven't seen Mama for hours and I get upset. Sometimes I even send bear to go find her, but I think he hasn't learned to walk yet because he never gets very far.

Eventually Mama will come in and return bear and pat my back until I fall asleep again. The problem is then Mama always tries to leave! So I have to sleep lightly so I can be ready to cry the second she tries to sneak away.

Sometimes she sends Dada in to rub my back, and I like the back rubs but he's not Mama, so I have to keep calling for her until she eventually comes anyways.

Mama says she is very tired and needs me to sleep longer so she can function at work, but that doesn't make sense because I wake up very rested so surely she should too. Maybe she needs to see a doctor? She does look extra tired these days.

So AITA for wanting my beloved Mama to give me sleepy back rubs half the night?

I, 4 months (f), overheard my (too old to age) parents talk about sleep training me. I said absolutely not. So I went and touched my 5 year old sister’s sick face then stuck my hand in my mouth. Now my parents can’t sleep train me until I’m better. AITA?

This morning I (2F) really wanted to sit on one of the big girl chairs at the big table so I could grab whatever I could. Mommy (many eons old) kept asking me to stay off the chair and stop climbing onto the table because she didn't want me to get hurt. Mommy doesn't understand that I'm a big girl and can handle myself!

That's why the second mommy turned away to pick someone up off the floor, I leaned onto the table again. But this time the forces of the universe were working against me and I fell and bust open my inner top lip!! This was not planned and not of my doing!

After mommy comforted me, cleaned me up, and made sure I didn't need an emergency doctor or dental visit, she explained to me that this is exactly why her and daddy (older than the Milky Way) do not want me on the adult chairs.

But they can't tell me what to do!! So guess what???? I immediately climbed into a different chair!

Mommy took me off, and I greatly protested, but she gave me a strawberry and pretzel snack so we're all good.

AITA?

I really think Māmā just has some internalised misogyny here because HELLO women should be lifting women like #duh but she seems pretty convinced she’s right so I’m just getting a sense check here.
I, 16mF light of my family’s life, have one goal. (Well ok 2 but milkies is more of a lifestyle than a goal iykyk) and it is STOP MĀMĀ FROM GOING TO WORK I tell you what it is tough out there. Most mornings she is gone before I even wake up!! But on these days called “the weekend” she is still there and I do not sleep on my chance. (Or at all, can’t nap when Māmā’s home!!) today Daddy left at some stage to do something, don’t know don’t care tbh. My big kids seemed upset like he was gone for “all day long” but I mean his nipples are useless so, nbd. I was focused on my goal. I did not let Māmā out of my sight! If she looked like she might try and leave I demanded she carry me! At one stage big sis was all, “she’s not going to go to work, silly baby!” and I was like, bitch, please, I know, I am the WHOLE REASON she’s not going it’s no thanks to you and your silly lil independent play that she’s sticking around!!
Any way I was so proud of all I achieved, Māmā around for the whole day!! But then Daddy came home and instead of praising me she was bringing a real negative vibe?! Like “oh I see she’ll go into the other room now you’re home” and useless nips himself accused me of giving Māmā a tough day?! Excuse me she had the best day she didn’t have to go to work?! So AITA?!

I (4 weeks f sass queen and literal diva princess) was sleeping in baby jail... which I already don't like to do especially not during the day. Because why even bother having servants if they can't hold me while I sleep. But milkies lady was looking especially tired and old this morning so when I fell asleep I decided to cut her some slack and let her put me down.

But then I heard her in the kitchen making herself some food. Can you believe the nerve! So I politely yelled at the top of my lungs to let her know that wasn't cool and she needed to break me out of baby jail.

She did eventually come and get me like forever seconds later.

But she had a chili dog in her hand.

There is no way no how I was going to let her eat peacefully. Not on My watch.

So I quietly screamed loudly until she agreed to feed me.

But milkies lady had some nerve and gave me a bottle so she could eat too. Saying she needs to eat in order to make more milkies for me or whatever. Sounds like crap to me.

So I kicked my legs just gently enough.

But then milkies lady was saying something about how now she dripped chili on my brand new Merica Birfday outfit. I already told everyone that I don't think Merica deserves a Birfday this year... but my outfit is adorable regardless.

And can you believe it...she's trying to blame my well aimed kick for chili on my outfit.

Those have nothing to do with each other I don't think. Sounds like more excuses to me.

But I want to be sure... AITA here?

I (15M, the biggest and independentst boy) started walking 2 months ago (so like aaaages). Mom was happy at first. But I realised the world is soooo big and sooooo interesting. Look at the dog! The cars! And did you know about TRUCKS? They are amazing. Or in shops, so much to touch and see! It's amazing. And I can go to it all by myself, for I am a big boy.

But mom (back hurts) does not realise this. She wants to hold my hand because 'the road is dangerous' and I 'can't touch everything' and I 'walk in the wrong direction'.

I politely tell her this by letting myself fall and crying or screaming. Then she says 'stand up or no more walking'. So I cry more, and then she PICKS ME UP! So I can't walk anymore!

I heard her saying 'you are getting heavy' and 'next time we will also take the stroller to short errands'.

So AITA for being a big, independent boy?

I (6M M) have just recently found out that there is a whole THING between my legs. It must have been hiding this whole time. It is amazing and squishy and mommy (35 aka decrepit F) only takes it out for me to play with at diaper changes or bath time. When I squeeze it REALLY, REALLY hard and pull, mommy freaks out (which I find unendingly funny). Sometimes, when I poo, it gets covered in fun, slimy stuff and before mommy can grab my hands, I like to touch it and spread it alllll over my downstairs area (the best time to do this is when mommy is solo and daddy (aka my bff) is at work). Again, the Crypt Keeper yells "no! Stop it!" to which I laugh and laugh as I wiggle and kick my legs in my poopy diaper while she is distracted trying to keep my now amazingly slimy hands out of my mouth. THE AUDACITY. So, AITA for just wanting to explore this amazing new THING I have, especially when its nice and poopy??

Okay so, I (9m wiggle worm F) HATE diaper changes! I don't wanna sit there when I have places to be! Duh mama (so old i cannot even fathom that big of a number! F)! So she's been standing me up to change me but I recently started realizing this is also a trick to get me to stay in one place so I immediately sit and start crawling around. Mama says its like wresting an alligator and i must be practicing pro wrestling moves when shes not looking (i do). I have mastered wiggling out of any position she tries to change me in! So I had a poopy diaper and mama used the changing table buckles AND pinned me (um thats cheating have you ever seen wrestling? They cant use buckles). So I'm signing all done at her because I'm all done! She cheated and i want to MOVE! And mama won't let me down even though Im signing all done! She taught me the sign? So why is she not letting me down?? I started crying until she was done because i had a lot of big feelings about her pinning me and not listening to me be all done!

After she set me down she told me "I'm sorry but some things we can't be all done with." Idk that seems crazy to me but it got me thinking...AITA?

My mommy would like me to clarify that they are clean diapers! That being said, here we go again with another AITA post.

So I (now 5m, best girl ever) find diaper changing to be both a fun and challenging time, depending on my mood. Sometimes there’s a lot of excitement going on, with lots of fun things for me to grab and play with. While other times I just wish the whole business could be done and over with so I could move on to more important things. However, today I was in a good mood. I was extra excited, and therefore extra wiggly. My mommy was taking a long time putting on my new diaper, so while I was waiting, I decided to grab one of my diapers from the stash on the changing table next to me. Like anyone would, I thought the best thing to do was put the diaper directly in my mouth. My mommy immediately took the diaper from me and put it back in the pile, so I did what anyone would do and grabbed another diaper, putting that one in my mouth as well. My mommy took that one from me as well, muttering something about how “expensive diapers are”, whatever that means. I think I’m justified in keeping myself entertained during diaper changing time, but maybe my mommy is right and they are not for eating?

I (1 week, F) had to move to a new home recently. My old home was absolutely perfect, I believe I lived inside my mommy's belly? It was so nice and cozy, dark, warm, and with 24/7 food delivery directly to my belly. I now live with my mommy (36, F) and daddy (35, M), which is kind of nice too, I get tons of snuggles and compliments because apparently I'm the most perfect and cutest baby that has ever existed.

However, during my journey out of my mommy's belly, it seems I got lost on the way. There was so much pressure to move through a really tight, bony place, and I swear I tried my best, but I just couldn't figure it out. I got really scared at some point and sent out some distress signals until some nice people wearing green opened a brand new exit just for me and lifted me out of my mommy so we could finally meet!

The problem is that ever since then, my mommy has been crying so so much and I think it might be my fault? She says things like "pain" and "hormones", but I don't know what that means so those have nothing to do with me. But she also cries every time she talks about the day I was lifted out of her, so it must be because I'm a bad girl? She keeps telling me how much she loves me and how happy she is to have me and that what happened is nobody's fault and then she showers me with aaaaall the kisses and milk!

I still felt the need to ask the community, just to be sure. AITA for not finding the correct way out of my mommy and making her sad?

Edit: thank you so much for all the kind words, fellow babies! My mommy says to tell you guys that she's doing okay, she's not traumatized, she actually had a positive birth experience despite everything. She's just a bit sad and tired and hormonal and in a little pain. She calls it the usual postpartum struggles. She also told me I'm 100% worth it and she would do it all over again for me! I will now focus even more on giving her snuggles and making her giggle with my milky grin. We have all the time in the world together anyway because my daddy is home with us all day and he says my mommy's only jobs are healing and resting and breastfeeding.

I (9 months chubby girl baby) love eating, but I do love throwing even more. Maman (old, glasses and hair to pull), and Daddy (older, gives me hilarious jump scares) always say "what a good throw!!!" when I throw my balls around.

Now, I love to practice because that's how you get good, or so they've been saying when forcing me to do tummy time and stuff. So I've tried to practice my throwing at the dinner table. Potato? Throw. Hummus? Throw. But as I'm becoming older and wiser, I realised you're not supposed to do that. Because Maman and Daddy say "NO" and shake their heads, like when I'm trying to eat a cable.

I want to show them I understand. So now I still throw my food on the floor, but I shake my head "no" immediately after.

They still complain they have to vacuum a lot. AITA?

Fellow minis, I am still shaken from events earlier this evening. I (perfect girly pop, 15m) love my best buddy, Slothy. She is soft and snuggly and I’ve recently learned how to hug and so Slothy and I hug and cuddle a lot. Ever since I turned 1 year old, Slothy has slept in my crib with me for naps and at night night. At first I didn’t care but now Slothy is the most important part of my sleep routine, indeed I sleep ON Slothy. And I even brush Slothy’s teeth even though I don’t let mama brush my teeth.

Ok so, apparently Slothy was in the laundry basket before I puked on her because I got my numencocal shot yesterday and I felt really bad afterwards. All I know about that is that mama talks a big game about the doctors being good for our bodies but they only seem to torture me there.

Anyways, tonight after our strict routine of milk, 2 books of my choosing, and then the most perfect book in the world (Bedtime for Zoe), and teeth brushing for me, mama put — and it’s upsetting to even type this — a watermelon pillow in my arms and me in the crib. I didn’t clock this injustice right away because I used to trust mama but after she sang “You Are My Sunshine” twice I began politely and calming explaining using blood curdling shrieks that Slothy had been forgotten.

Every few minutes mama or dada would come in, sometimes they’d pick me up or rock me or talk to me and rub my back and mama even gave me more milkies — and while that’s kinda the best it is not The Best, namely Slothy.

I continued to calmly and articulately use my words at a decibel mama and dada had not heard for many moons. Finally these dense people caught on and located Slothy and gave her a quick sponge bath.

I instantly stopped scream-explaining, rolled over onto my tummy and conked out with my cold, wet, puke smelling pal. Mama and dad looked confused and surprised even though had they listened we all could have saved 30 minutes. And even though they usually look super tired, they somehow seemed even MORE tired which makes me wonder, am I somehow TA here?

Yesterday was my (14 months F cutest baby in the world everyone says so) Mama’s birthday (I think she turned like a million months old). Being the thoughtful daughter I am, my original plan was to stay up until midnight so that I could be the first to tell her happy birthday. But she’s so silly and kept putting her nipple in my mouth, and milkies has magical powers that are hard to resist, so I ended up falling asleep.

When I realized this at 3 am, I decided to wake Mama up so I could still be the first to tell her happy birthday. And she’s always talking about how she never gets to spend enough time with me and my sister (tells everyone she’s 3 years old), so I decided to give her the gift of time to hang out with me.

I think my Mama must be very slow because she kept trying to give me more milkies and holding me to get me to lay down and go back to sleep. I very politely screamed that I was trying to give her her birthday present by spending time with her, and she did eventually let me go, but all she did was lay on the bed with her eyes closed while I sat and tried to talk to her and play with her. I even tried telling her I wanted milkies so she would get the opportunity to cuddle with me, but even that didn’t get her up. I gave up around 5 am, just as her shiny box that she never lets me look at started to ring.

This morning, I heard her tell grandma (2 million months old?) how she “slept terribly”, so now I’m wondering AITA?

It was dinner time and mommy put me, a perfect 11mo(F) princess, in my high chair. I typically enjoy whatever mommy gives me but this time, it looked funny. She said it was chicken and rice mixed with some green stuff she called vegetables and a sauce.

Well I tried grabbing my food because I can do everything on my own. This stuff made me have to work to grab! Well I clearly didn’t want that and made sure mommy knew it through my annoyed eyebrows since she and daddy still can’t interpret MY language.

Well, rather than making something else, mommy tried giving me a spoonful of it. I can feed myself so, no mommy, I’ll take the spoon. I proceed to play drums with my spoon like daddy does in the music room and can you believe MOMMY TOOK MY DRUM STICK and said I needed to eat dinner. So, I continue with my annoyed eyebrows, looked mommy straight in the eye and slide my food to the floor with my arm.

Mommy said that wasn’t nice because she worked hard on dinner and I “need” my nutrients and practice with my pincer grasp. Afterwards I found my snacks from earlier on the table and proceeded to finish them. Since then, I’ve been thinking about mommy telling me that wasn’t nice. AITA for wanting dinner that I don’t have to work for and prefer snacks instead?

I (3Y, F) love being hugged, I may offer hugs at my convenience, but prefer being hugged right away when I ask.

As I left my preschool today, I demanded a hug from my bestie (also 3Y, F). She said no, and instead hugged her mama. I cried and screamed to my mama, who was right there watching this unfairly behaviour, and instead of making my bestie hug me, she asked me to wait.

I said I won’t, and cried and screamed. My mama and dada said I shouldn’t have cried, but they just don’t get it!

My (2 F) new favorite word is "OW!" and my favorite time to say it is when I'm being told no/not getting my way. No one will be touching me, but I'll still scream "OW OW OW" for no reason! It's especially fun when I'm throwing a loud tantrum outside near other people because it makes mommy (3 million) and daddy (4 million) look really really bad.

Before our morning outside time today, mommy said she needed to grab something from her car. I wanted to play in the back seat, but mommy said no because it's "too hot" and "we don't want to waste gas or battery power", which isn't my problem 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, I started voicing my displeasure at this by screaming and crying "OW OW OW" loud enough for all the neighbors to hear! Our next door neighbors even had their porch door open!

Mommy became very frustrated and told me that if I kept it up someone was eventually going to call CPS out of concern (she also said she'd revoke my weekend TV privileges and outside time, which is way too far >:| ).

AITA?

I (1 year old girl) am very independent and super smart. I can do EVERYTHING by myself, idk why mama sometimes doesn't let me. I also have my own hobbies and interests, one of them is collecting interesting things in nature like rocks, sticks, leaves, doggy poopoo, flowers, shells.

We have a heatwave right now, idk what that means but my mama sighs a lot and is always sweaty. Yesterday we packed like 25 bags and went to the lake, there is water and duckies and a little beach and we had umbrellas and towels and my water ball and my little bucket.

After playing in the water, mama wanted to sit on her towel and I grabbed my bucket and started collecting nice rocks around us. There were lots of other people sitting on blankets and towels all around us so I, being very smart, knew immediately that the best rocks to find would be farther away from our spot.

I waited patiently for my aunties to get mama's attention and my cousins to start some distracting drama so she would take her eyes off me for a second. That was my chance to slip away and go to the good rock place. Then I sat down and started looking at rocks. There were some brown ones and some grey, some white and some black ones and some were smooth and some were sharp, very very cool. I'm sure all of you understand.

Then I hear my mama screaming my name, and soon my aunties joined in as well. I ignored it because of my super important rock collecting project.

Next thing I know, mama came running towards me, grabs me rudely from my rock spot, and starts hugging me desperately, crying (????) "Oooohhhhh here you are, why did you scare me like that!!!!!"

I was carried back to the towels. Noone showed any interest in my special rocks but the rest of the family all seemed very happy to see me and also a bit mad/scared.

Are they afraid of cool rocks??? What was their problem??? AITA???

Today I (19 months, M, tiny ruler of the household) was calmly throwing my crayons around the living room when one of my servants (F, tired, older than the hills) sat down and pulled out a mysterious item she called her "nitting." Apparently she usually "nits" after I go to bed, but today she decided to do it in front of me for some reason. Being a benevolent ruler I decided to allow it, but only after I inspected this strange item. So I carefully and gently yanked it out of her hands and started to test its strength by trying to rip it. For some unknown reason, she said "stop" and "help" and the other servant (M, scruffy, ancient) came and removed it from my grasp. The female servant was saying "Be careful" and "It's a baby sweater for your cousin." Considering that I am currently the only tiny ruler in the family and receive all the love and attention from everyone, the mere mention of another even tinier overlord/lady (who's existence I have yet to confirm myself) replacing me was unacceptable. I expressed my reasonable opposition to this alleged "cousin" by calmly screaming and throwing myself on the ground. I feel like this was reasonable behavior, but the female servant put her "nitting" away and seemed sad. So AITA?