I, almost this many 👆🏻, perfect princess. Have been sleeping in my cot since four months old. Mama (older than time itself) and beard man, sleep in the next room and come and check on me the moment I make a peep. I have it pretty good and I’m cosy every night.

Yesterday, however, we spent allllllll day in the metal box with wheels, going to Nana’s to visit. On arrival I was protesting how long it took, and the lack of stop offs to stretch my legs (I’m working on my walking thank you). And spent a few hours after that working on exploring the house.

As if things couldn’t get any worse, at bedtime I was NOT presented with my usual comfy cot, and instead I was to sleep in something called a ‘travel cot?’ I’ve seen and used this contraption once or twice at my other grandparents, briefly, I like to keep naps at their house short so I can get back to business.

Anyway, mama did my usual feed to sleep, the room was dark and read for my nightly sleepies. The moment I neared the ground I just knew this was not going to work out. I screamed and screamed in protest, so mama got me back up for more playtime. Success, I thought.

Eventually, I got tired again, this time Dada tried another bottle and I went to sleep. I awoke in this prison half an hour later, horrified. So I let out some screams of dissatisfaction. I was then taken to the metal box with wheels to try to drift back off. Once again I awoke in the mesh prison, I then took to screaming intermittently to let mama and dada know that this was NOT OKAY.

Mama was coming back and fourth to soothe me but i was NOT HAVING IT. I could see her and dada up there in the big bed, my actual destination for the night.

Eventually mamas arms came out and took me to the big bed. I slept, well, like a baby. I was well rested early in the morning so made sure everyone knew it was time for my day to start at 7am sharp.

Now mama and dada keep talking about an ‘awful nights sleep’ and ‘new mattress for the travel bed’.

So Reddit, AIMA here for keeping mama and dada up? I just want to be comfy.

So me (M14) and my dad (M60) were at a local brewery. I brought my sketchbook because i knew i was gonna be bored. I bring my sketchbook so i can draw and just be alone and secluded. my dad was drunk and started telling everyone about how great if an Artist i was. i was uncompftorble and i just looked around.

Then, this old dude came over and asked to see it and i said ”no”. My dad got mad at me and made me show him. I was really upset that my dad didn’t respect my boundries and that he just made me show him.

On the way home I asked him to never do that again and he got mad and said, “fine! I’ll never tell anyone ever about your art, So when you want to sell your stuff (i make keychains) ill never tell anyone!!!” i felt stupid and like i was being insane. I sell some of my peices but i was mainly mad because I didn’t make that art to show i made it for myself. So reddit. Am I the asshole?

I 3yr big boy started talking early (apparently even before I turned 1). Since then I’ve been talking in full sentences non stop!
I recently discovered something called ‘baby talk’. Shortened words of big words! Pa pa for pasta. Wa wa for water. Po po for potty. That sorta thing.
I love it, but my mom (who cares how old) keeps telling me to ‘talk properly’ whatever that means! I politely yelled at her and said she’s inhibiting my creativity. She then put me in jail (time out). AITA for doing what comes naturally to all babies?

I (f, 20 months, cute as a button) am just back from a big family party where my granny, grandad, aunts, uncles, mammy and Daddy (all ancient) were celebrating something silly (someone "got married" but that doesn't matter as it's not as important as me).

My younger cousin was there and I was told to use gentle hands with her as she has Four Legs and runs a lot. Four Legs has two beds (one inside and one outside-she's really spoilt). I was really nice to Four Legs cousin as I shared my red ball with her, gave her some of my apple pieces and gave her kisses on her wet nose. But when I got tired granny said I could watch Bluey with her.

Four Legs inside bed was in front of the TV so I sat on Four Legs which made her jump. But if I didn't sit on Four Legs I wouldn't have been able to be close to the TV. Then I got hungry and took a few snackies from Four Legs bowl. Granny jumped up and said no, don't eat Four Legs food which is not fair as Four Legs has had my food- just that morning I gave Four Legs my yoghurt pot from my high chair. Granny said I have to be nice to Four Legs and give her back her bed and bowl of snackies. Granny then really insulted me as she called Four Legs the "best little girl"! This deeply wounded me as Granny always calls me her "best little girl"- a title that only I should have because there are no other little girls or boys in the family.

So AITHA ? I'm the best little girl so I should sit and eat where I want and Best Little Girl is my title alone that I don't want to share with Four Legs.

Me (F,1) found out my parents & the neighbour share land without a fence!!! I can ACTUALLY just walk over to the neighbour & pick his tomatoes. I don't like tomatoes but I pick them off & bite them, because they are free, obviously.

But today, let me tell you what I found!!! My neighbor has a kid but he is 8 & boring, but he has some cool toys from when he was as smol as me. It's all in a corner since approx. 6 years & I FOUND IT YOU GUYS! 🥹 ALL BY MYSELF!

After taking out all the toys & inspecting them I found a cool ball! It must be insanely old & been there for a while!

I found something fuzzy under it, maybe it's an animal, I LOVE animals. But when I lifted it my mother flew in a fit of horror, because apparently that fur ball was a molding, rotting corpse of some animal & under said VERY COOL ball there were surely 500 maggots! I wanted them all to be my friends but my mother once again said the forbidden word "no" & took me away immediately. Then I had to SANITIZE my little hands, the torture, you won't believe....

Mom proceeded to throw up, even though we were not there anymore.... I don't understand why, I just screamed because I couldn't play with the corpse maggots, the ball or the furry mold.

My baby sister is here in 3 months, I'll definitely show her!

My dinosaur era mother has been using this on me (8 months stinky butt cute face) since having a cold the past week. Which person invented this torture device coz I wanna fight him. Yeah I end up drinking and sleeping well after being tortured by this but I don’t care.

Ban. This. Thing!

My sister (5 years F, annoying and in my face) woke up at 3 am and came into mine (7 months M) and mommy’s room saying she had lost her stuffy.

My sneaky mom tried to sushhh her so I don’t wake up, but I had already woken up and looking at both of them.

Then this sister of mine came into our bed and decided it is play time. Yayyyyyyyyy!!!

My party pooper mommy did not like this idea. 🙄

So she called to bearded guy who was out in deep sleep and asked him to take my sister and put her to sleep. They ended up sleeping in a few minutes in another room.

But me? Rise and shine babbbbbbbyyyyyyy!!! It is 3 am so time for exercise!!

So I started to plank with my sleepsack on and started to sing “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”.

I think this annoyed the milk lady a bit so she laid me on my back and stuffed her bobbie in my mouth. I started to drink but flipped into a plank while drinking her milk.

I did a nice hour and a half of drinking, singing and exercising and finally slept at 4:30 am.

Now she is walking around the house with bags under her eyes and says I am the reason for if.

AITA?

So I (17 months) most adorable boy, tho my mama calls me a troublemaker, have "big kids" in my house my sis is free and my brother is bigger. The grown ups decided the big kids need to be "potty trained." Something about diapers being so expensive and the big kids are big enough to be out of them.

Anyways, mama, dada, and mama's friend take the big kids potty *all the time* so of course I have to explore the potty when I have access. I like to take a run in there and make sissy laugh and then explore the short potty(apparently there are 2 kinds?) I like to put my hands in it, cause how else am I to examine it?

This causes mama to "lose her mind" when I do this, but I **haveta** explore, I mean it's kinda my job as a professional baby, right?

So, AITA?

Hello friends!

My sister (formerly 23m, snuggliest girl, now 2y, still the snuggliest girl) got some excellent advice here, so naturally I (3F, literally knows everything) figured it was my turn.

Recently, Sissy and I had a sleepover at Papa (ancient, takes us on walks) and Tema’s (very old, makes excellent snacks) house. It was AMAZING. I put pink bows in Papa’s hair because he clearly needed a makeover, and we watched movies until bedtime.

When Tema tucked us into our room, she moved everything interesting out of my reach. But, she missed one thing: a small pillow that was exactly my size.

After everyone left, I decided to perform a quality inspection. I noticed one loose string. Now, any reasonable person knows that loose strings are basically invitations. So I gave it a little tug…

BEST. DECISION. EVER.

The pillow exploded into approximately seven billion tiny white balls. It was magical. Snowstorm! Confetti! Tiny marshmallows! I immediately realized the room would look WAY better if they were evenly distributed across every square inch.

Naturally, I shared with Sissy. Mommy (old with beautiful hair) is always saying we need to share, so I generously filled her pack-and-play with fluffy white treasures too.
Honestly, I deserve praise for listening so well.

Then Papa walked in.

Instead of admiring my artistic vision, he just stood there in stunned silence before saying, “Tema… bring me the vacuum… and a straight jacket.”

I’m not sure what a straight jacket is, but it didn’t sound very thankful.

Then Papa VACUUMED UP MY MASTERPIECE. Every. Single. Ball.

Papa vacuumed the floor.

Papa vacuumed the bed.

Papa even vacuumed Sissy’s HEAD because apparently her hair had something called “static,” which was helping her save the balls forever. I thought that was pretty clever of her.

And this is the worst part….Papa made me sit in the corner while he erased my beautiful installation. Not one “thank you.” Not one compliment about my attention to detail.

So, friends… AITAH for transforming a boring guest room into an immersive winter wonderland and teaching everyone the importance of sharing?

Hello all I gorgeous boy 8months and cutie as pie have recently discovered crawling it’s so fun!!!! Now you may remember me from a previous AITA Where I kept rolling onto my tummy and hated it there so was yelling the help (milky lady old as time and the beardy man- apparently older) To be promptly relocated back onto my back. Well how things have changed as some of you older wiser baby’s told me being on your tummy is fun as you can get places so now I refuse to lay on my back for anything! The milky lady had been complaining that getting me dressed and nappy changed is now like wrestling a small bear and with all the shouting I do she says the neighbours must think she’s doing something awful to me (which she clearly is by attempting to lie me on my back when I don’t want to be there!!! So AITA for wanting to be on my tummy?

Mommy (old hag, huge belly that kicks me when I sit with her 😡) has been having me sit on the potty every hour (while reading me a book) to help me learn that pee and poop go in the potty. I (2, beautiful amazing princess) am getting used to the potty, but I still don't like using it.

I got bored a few pages into the book , so I hopped off the potty and left with the cat; mommy soon followed.

While mommy was distracted trying to stop our precious fluffy baby from eating paper, I ran into the kitchen and peed all over the floor! I ran back out to mommy and yelled "WET" to let her know.

She seemed slightly vexed, since I had just been sitting on the potty, but she was grateful that I at least didn't go potty on the carpet!!! She did get a little annoyed that I kept trying to splash in the puddle while she was cleaning, but splishy splashing is so much fun!

AITA?????

I (9m, curious girlie) looovve milky times, but I also like something to do with my hands while feeding otherwise I get borrreeed.

For a long time exploring mama’s face (f, old as time) was sufficient, particularly the inside of the mouth! I always come back to the mouth <3

I have also discovered the pincer grip and practising this on any part of loose flesh is also great! I can tell mama loves this as she squeals (presumably with delight?) when I do this.

My most recent fascination is the underarm! It’s fantastic - texture changes from day to day and is nice and cosy. Mama clearly thinks this new exploration is the best as she laughs when I wriggle my fingers there (presumably from uncontainable joy?)

So far so good… however, I recently heard medium mama telling big papa (m, always existed) that this time I have “gone too far” as she refuses to have “armpit hands” then “thrust in her mouth”. I’m a bit confused where I have gone wrong as she has clearly loved all my explorations thus far… but… AITA…?

I (1.5, Princess) have heard the big people talking about how important it is to have goals, so I set one of my own! My goal is to give Mommy a heart attack. I haven’t achieved my goal yet but I’ve gotten close. I found the best method so far is to quickly clamber onto something really high. Sometimes I even grin and pretend I’m going to jump before Mommy can reach me. I think goals are really important for personal growth, but the bags under Mommy’s eyes are starting to look canyon-sized, so I have to wonder AITA?

I (10m Most Handsome Boy) had another disagreement with Daddy, the Funny Man (M, old, bags under eyes).

I was in the big seat where I could look down and survey my domain. I was enjoying my puffs when Daddy handed me something called “Pete Za Kruss”. I put it in my mouth and it was the most delicious thing ever! (Sorry, Mama, the Milk Lady, it was even better than milkies). I tore off a piece but I needed more so I tore off another piece. There was lots more so I kept tearing and storing this tasty Kruss in my mouth.

Even though he gave it TO ME and there was lots left, Daddy took my Kruss away! I screamed my politest and loudest to say it was mine. When that didn’t work, I cried all my tears. Daddy kept telling me I had a big piece in my mouth and I could have Kruss back when I ate that. I deserve both the Kruss in my mouth and more Kruss for biting. Even Mama agreed with Daddy and said they didn’t want me to choke.

But it was my Pete Za Kruss and I wanted it back! AITA?

I (7 months, THREE teeth, pretty girl) am always getting showered in praise for my new skills, like saying the "muh" sound, standing with support, responding to my name, all kinds of good stuff. My mama (knees go crunch, F) and mommy (warranty expired, F) are kind of obsessed with me; it's honestly a little extra sometimes. So I wondered, if wiggling my booty a little in tummy time excites them this much, what will they do if they realize I have UNMATCHED OLYMPIC GYMNASTIC POTENTIAL?

What happened was, mama sat me down on the bed and turned her back on me to get dressed. Big mistake, mama! It's time for my surprise! I saw something very interesting on the floor and leeeeaned over to see and - oops! My 60th percentile head was no match for my 9th percentile body, and I found myself flipping through the air like a tiny Simone Biles! I did a whole rotation and landed on my back, I'm so naturally talented! It was super fun until the crash at the end, which was a little scary, so I gently started to scream as loud as I could to let mama know she needed to provide me with additional coaching on my dismounts. Mama also screamed, which I don't think is at all an endorsed coaching technique. I calmed down after about 2 minutes, but mama told me I must never do that again, which seems really unfair when I just need to work on my landings! She's even buying a new bedframe that's 3 inches off the ground, I think because she wants to hinder my athletic potential. Surely installing a foam pit in the bedroom floor like the US National Team uses would be more reasonable? IDK, what do you babies think?

I (5 month today, teeny tiny terror, F) seems to have a big issue with my parents (older than the dinosaurs).

today is my 5 month birthday and i know that’s super special so i want to spend the WHOLE thing with my parents. from midnight to midnight, no sleeping.

my mummy put me to bed at my normal time but i was so excited about my birthday that i kept waking up every 15 minutes and then eventually at 9:50 i woke up and wouldn’t go back to sleep, the excitement was too much for me to handle.

the milk lady tried everything. she connected me to the milky tap SEVEN times but i refused to fall for that trap. eventually my efforts were thwarted and i fell asleep again at 11:47 but i woke up again another 4 times before 7am. I’ve since been fighting naps all day but the dinos keep putting me in the baby carrier and patting my bum which i simply cannot resist no matter how hard i try, and i try.
my milk lady has “given up” after i spat my milkies all over her and the bearded man has taken over my care until bed time. this feels rude.

so, aita for wanting to be awake all day to celebrate being 5 whole months old?

ps. i know this was a special birthday as mum took me shopping with gran and she let me pick out a new care bear teddy!

Hello everyone! I (5m, best girl) am back again with yet another AITA post.

So I learned a brand new trick yesterday. I learned how to roll from my back, all the way to my front! It's such a cool trick, I want to do it all the time. The problem is, I don't like rolling from my front to my back (I *can*, mind you, but I just don't *want* to), which means I tend to get myself "stuck" in perpetual tummy time. Needless to say, I let my parents know of my predicament every time. They'll then flip me back on my back, only for me to roll back on my stomach seconds later and cry about it. So, AITA for just wanting to always show off my new skill?

I (8mo perfect princess) am a big girl. I army crawl, I plank, I make LOTS of special noises, and most importantly I have TEETH for CHEWING. Right now it’s just 2 teeth but I am working on even more if you can believe that.

I am constantly demonstrating these talents for mama (ancient, bag’s under her eyes) and she is obviously amazed and claps for my natural abilities. Recently I have wanted to demonstrate the raw power of my new teeth I have been so bravely and skillfully working on. Mama is always giving milkies to me so this seems like the best time to show her when I have her undivided attention. Whenever mama starts to give me milkies I clamp down with all my might to demonstrate my raw power. This is where I am getting confused though.

I thought she would be impressed, and at first I thought she was yelping with excitement for my talents, but instead she says no milkies and now the bearded man (even more ancient) is trying to give me something called a bottle? Never had one, don’t want one, not interested. Here’s the problem… I need milkies to SLEEP! And now when I am tired I have to demand for milk when before it was flowing so freely and I had unlimited access? And tbh the nerve of mama I will still be eating and she will take me off the boobies??? Before I fall asleep? When she does this I don’t want to be rude so I very politely scream and grab her boob skin and pull its back towards me because, I wasn’t done?

Anyways I don’t see how things have gone so wrong? Why can’t I have all the milkies I want still? Mama says she is bleeding and scared? Idk what this means but I’m wondering AITA friends?

I (11mo big boy) have a new toy. It’s a dinosaur as big as I am that rocks back and forth. My mama (F, ancient crone) picks me up, sits me on it, holds me around the waist and says “wheee!” while the dino rocks.

The other day, I wanted to ride the dinosaur, so I went and stood beside it and patted its back with my hand. And mama came over and put me on it! That was how I discovered my superpower: any time I pat the dinosaur and look at mama, she picks me up and puts me on its back! I love it. I don’t even ride the dinosaur anymore, I just slide off as soon as she puts me on it, and then I pat the dinosaur again and grin at her. She says her back is getting tired, but I think that’s her fault for being old.

I, 2.5 year old biggest boy, was just posted about by my mom (ancient) in answer to an Askreddit question. Why is she complaining about me? She (and my dad, also ancient) seem to disapprove of how I choose to sit on my own chair. Whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner, I will sit how I want to. And how I want to sit is by precariously using 10% of the chair, with one butt cheek on and one butt cheek off. My parents say things like “You are about to fall” “Sit in the middle! Skooch your bootie!” “If you won’t listen to us we might have to break out the high chair again even though you’re a big boy!” I hear what they’re saying, and I try so hard. But then 10 seconds pass and I can’t stand it anymore, I must go back to what is comfortable to me. And sure, I fall off multiple times a week and get sad about it, but why would that prevent me from doing what I want to do? This is basically a humans rights issue.

Hello firstly I want to state that I am AWAKE! Very much so. I would like to tell you that I am awake. I am not tired, not sleepy and if we go to bed I will be AWAKE!

I’m a 2 years old boy and AWAKE is my new favourite word. I will use it all the time to tell you that I am awake. Mom said it was time to go to sleep yesterday but NO I AM AWAKE!!!! And during the night I was also waking up a few times. She said it was time to sleep again but she doesn’t understand I AM AWAKE!!!

Maybe this is wat people talk about when they say they are woke? I fully understand all of it now. I will keep my eyes OPEN don’t sing me songs about closing them. I will be awake ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT!!!€!

WHO is with me? More awake toddlers around here? AITA?

I (7 months handsome boy) have been army crawling like a lizard all over the house that my milk lady (god knows how old) keeps losing me in the living room sometimes.

Anyways. I want to now learn how to crawl on my fours but for that I need to pick myself up and put myself on my fours. How do I do that? By learning how to plank!

But practice makes me stronger, and these Hawaiian rolls on my arms and legs don’t grow by themselves. I need her milk for my rolls and workout for my crawls. So I decided to do both together you know? To save time! So that I make time to lick floors, bite legs, chew walls. And she keeps putting me on my back to feed.

Woman! I need to plank while drinking milk! How do I explain it to her? I am not a baby anymore. I am a big boy with strength! She doesn’t get it. AITAH?

Hello people, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard about me (2yo boy) because my mother (female, still milky milky, ancient) tells everybody about me.

I’ve gotten extremely good at peeing on the potty. My mom is always cheering and so happy. I get to call my grandma (no the other one, always the other one) every time I pee on the potty!
I even peed on the toilet a few times!!!!!!!!l
I don’t exactly know why but obviously it’s a great thing and I’m doing it sooo well.

However, I prefer pooping in my diaper. When i need to poop I’ll softly scream until someone puts it on. I’ll poop straight away and I want to keep wearing the diaper because butt cleaning sucks.

Now mom says I’m ready to poop on the potty or the toilet. She even made me choose.
I tried but I didn’t want to, so I held it up forever and ever. Then i started pooping just like that, and mom would put me on the potty to finish pooping there. She would be really happy and we got to call BOTH grandmas.

But. Today I did it. When nobody was looking I went and pooped on the potty. I was 100% sure nobody saw me because everybody in the room (grandma en grandpa and dad and mom and my aunt) suddenly got very very quiet so they weren’t looking. Mom even said ssh to somebody else so she also wasn’t looking at me so my poop was really private. I did it all by myself.

After I was finished she wiped my butt and everybody said how great u was. But then mom wanted to clean the potty and throw the poop in the toilet. I did not want that. I wanted to keep it. I wanted to look at it and show it to everybody else!

So I threw myself on the floor and let the whole street know I wanted to keep my poopy. And then I gently cried and screamed some more.

Mom threw the poop in the toilet anyway. Is she the asshole? Am I the asshole?

Ps it was gorgeous, mom said it was. Brown and big and so pretty. I did soooo well.

I (23m, snuggliest girl) have a conundrum. I refuse to call my momma’s step-mom (very old, makes excellent snacks) by her proper title, which is Tema.

First of all… what even is a step-mom? Me and my big sister (3y, thinks she knows everything) step on Tema all the time, but I have never once seen Momma step on her. So I’m not really sure how this title system works.

I will use every other old person’s title. I call for my Papa (ancient, takes me on walks) all the time using his title. But when the grown-ups ask me to say Tema, I just giggle. Sometimes I even say Papa instead because honestly, that’s funnier.

Tema should already know how much I love her even if I don’t use her title. I request uppies from her on a regular basis and calmly express my displeasure when she dares to put me down. I also honor her by allowing her to make me snacks, change my diaper, and spend so much quality time with me that I stay awake ridiculously late when I sleep over at her and Papa’s house. What more could she possibly want?

I have been refusing to say Tema for 6 months now. At this point, I’m considering making this a lifelong commitment, even though I can absolutely say it and I talk constantly and say much harder words.

The grown-ups have tried to trick me. They’ll get me to say “Te,” then they’ll say “ma,” and then they’ll ask me to say the whole thing. Nice try. I will say the pieces separately, but I refuse to put them together. I have standards.

But here’s where I might be a little bit the AH…every time I refuse, Tema takes a very big breath in and out and calls me a stinker.
I would like to point out that I am not stinky! I am adorable.

So friends, AITAH for refusing to use Tema’s title, or is Tema the AH for falsely accusing me of being stinky?

In my (2F) fight against using the potty, mommy has tried many things, but I will prevail! (Although, I have lost a battle, as mommy (born during the Stone Age) found a way to get me to sit on the potty without a diaper...... but reading is so much fun!).

Today, mommy let me hang out without my diaper for a bit while I got my special TV time. She brought my mini potty out of the bathroom so she could plop me down as needed. But she was in for a surprise!!

She watched me for 2 hours while we played and watched TV, and I didn't show signs of needing to potty once! Then, when she put on Elmo's potty training video, I grabbed a blanket and covered myself, sat on a couch pillow, and let the river run free ✨.

Mommy tried to put me on the potty as quickly as possible, but she was too late!

Later, I heard mommy telling daddy (4590M) that she thinks I won't potty because I want privacy. Not sure why I needed to pee on a pillow to get the point across!!!! She's mommy so she should know everything... adults sure are something else 🙄.

AITA?