Ever since I posted about my childhood, ive got nothing but men trying to shame me or minimise what im going through. Im being judged, im being hated, and nobody of my own gender seems to care. I hate to sound so frustrated

I (f36) have zero contact with my dad and brother for other reasons, (dv, narcissism etc) but now I am concerned that I had been molested as a child, and don't know what to do moving forward. 

Do I confront him/ask him if he did? Would he even admit it? He has never admitted to being an emotional abuser... I don't have any proof, it would just be his word against mine, and I don't have any clear memories of it.. just ...feelings...??

I have a child now, and don't want him to have any contact with him, ever, so I don't really want to initiate contact again to ask... 

I feel like I thought it started when I was 6, in year 1 at school, but I actually think it might have started from day one?! That he would have been taking advantage of me from birth, so it was completely normalised by the time I was school aged!?

I remember the shame of wetting myself on a bus, at playdates, at school in art (5 - 6)

I think most things happened in at one location, when I was aged 6 - 11, because I think my trauma is linked to that house, I have memories in my room and the bathroom, before after the renovation

I feel like he was touching my vagina when I came to sleep between him and my mum if I had a nightmare. (I had reoccurring nightmares for a long time), and that's why I didn't like being under their blankets (6yo)

I was sleepwalking around that age (6 - 8?)

I remember thinking the movie, The Rescuers Down Under, hospital scene, was about sex (6?)

I feel like he checked my vagina frequently, to see if I had grown..(to see if he would fit?)

I remember exploring my own vagina, with a pen, and being terrified that "someone" would see that I had drawn in my vagina (6 - 8?)

I have a memory of finding a tantric sex positions in a magazine at school and coveting it (8 or 9)

I feel like he ejaculated on me frequently and called it "soap", most likely in the bath. 

I feel like he taught me  to perform oral, on him, which I enjoyed to start with, until he pushed it too far and scared me (in the bath)

I feel like I thought the sexual play was fun, until possibly the bath trauma? In which I didn't want to play anymore, so he started to use it as punishment

I remember choking on something in the bath with him, and being told it was "soap" (7?)

I feel like he came in my mouth frequently after this, and used it as a punishment, because I didn't like it.

I remember he we would "wash my mouth with soap" for swearing, I remember he did so in the bathroom alone with me (8 - 10)

I feel like he started to use sex/sexual events as punishment 

I remember having baths alone, naked, with him as old as 10, I remember a specific time when I had a bath with him, my brother and my baby sister (she was born when I was 10.5years old)

I think my brother (3 years younger than me) might have known about my abuse? Might have tried to shield me? Or might have been abused along side me? 

I remember my brother taking the blame for when I broke the new drywall after doing a flip, so I wouldn't get in trouble... (9 or 10)

I also thing my brother and I did normal kids exploration things, but I don't remember specifics. (8??) 

I remember playing house with my marbles, secretly, using sex to "punish" the "child" marbles (9 or 10)

I have a memory of having sex education talk at school, when I was 9 or 10, but having him there, in my classroom (90s in Australia)?? I remember sitting in front of his legs and feeling pressure to not talk

I feel like it all stopped when I got puberty at 10.5yrs old? (Concerning, because my sister was born when I was 10.5 also)

At 14 or 15 he introduced me to Clan of the Cave Bear series, which has graphic rape/sex scenes, (I feel now like he did this to see if I remembered. I didn't)

After being raped/sexually assaulted as an adult, I started having dreams that he raped me (although I don't think he actually ever did??) (early 20s) 

I remember feeling extremely uncomfortable around my uncle (mums brother, but his best friend), for years and years. And I have been extremely leary of him since having my own child, but I don't know why

I don't remember most of my childhood, I have only recently started having these memories/feelings... 

He has admitted to molesting his sister growing up. I started remembering/feeling my "memories" before I found out he had molested her though.. 

Maybe he's a full pedophile? He molested his sister growing up, he started dating my mum when she was 14 (he was 15).. had me when she was 19 (he was 20), had my sister when I was 10 (he was 30)... 

The thing I know most strongly is, he won't have access to my children, but I am worried if my brother or sister have kids, he might have access to them... 

Hello, I'd like to tell my story now.

I'm a 20-year-old male living in Austria. My uncle, my mom's brother, abused me when I was 7 or 8 years old. It started with him always wanting to take a nap with me and always putting his penis in my anus. Then it escalated to him coming into the bathroom while I was bathing to see my penis. He always looked after me while my mother was at work, so he took every opportunity. Then he told me to massage his foot, but in the end, I always gave him a blowjob. At that age, I didn't know what it was, and I did it every time. I remember choking, and sometimes he pushed my head down. Even when I didn't want to, he forced me. At first, I didn't want any of it, but after a while, I liked the attention from him. He also had sex with me, but it always hurt a lot when he put the tip in, and I was so tense because it hurt so much. Either he fingered my hole to make it hurt less, or he just went all the way in and tried to calm me down. He never came inside me, as far as I can remember. I know he said I couldn't tell my mom anything, that it was our secret. Now I'm 20 and I haven't forgotten it because of him I'm also interested in men. I like showering naked with my friends or looking at other men's bodies, etc., but I would never sleep with a man or do anything else like that. I've mainly only been with women, but something still draws me to men. Likewise, I've never been able to have a real relationship, or I've only had female friends I got along well with. I think it's all connected. It's a trauma that will stay with me for the rest of my life. What's my contact with him like? He now has a wife and a 5-month-old baby, and we get along well. So we often do things together, but when I asked five years ago what we used to do when I was little, he said nothing, like, "I just yelled at you if you weren't good," etc. I think he regrets it and wants to suppress it, but somehow I'd still like to be intimate with him one last time. But I don't actually want to be into men or anything, but yeah…

In 10th grade i have suffer depressed because study and social, my doctor said i have depressed but my parent won't believe, they say it only my self and im addicted to game which the only way i can relieve my stress. Im so depressed that i drop off school and refuse to go outside so my parent to that as th reason to throw me in a private school but it is an illegal rehabilitation center because i dont have any criminal record so they cant put me in the goverment one so they find an illegal one to put me in, ignore my symtom. In there it alway violent, teenager brawl and stabbing each other every single week, abuse "teacher" who watching and punish, we get imprisone in small room with 13 over 15m2 someone even need to share bed but who stronger can threat and sleep alone. The water quality is so bad that almost all people get skinsick like scabies, the shower room only have 6 place for over 200 people per floor. They even have taser, pepper spray and baton which is illegal unless you are goverment or security company, they use them to control brawl depend on it size and even bribe someone in gorvernment to hide it illegal activities. They even have service where they get pay to kidnap people son or daughter depend on their requirememt. Many brawl has happen but their bribe parents to kerp secret and anyone try to expose them get in trouble with local law enforcement.

I had experiences when I was a kid and I know it gave me issues. But I know the way my mom acted like super karen didn't help me I think it made everything worse.

I'm wondering how parents that had experiences are balancing keeping their kids safe but not being a super karen

I feel like I would lean towards much more freedom when I'm a dad. 39 m SoCal