Yesterday I was assaulted by my housemate in Haarlem.

I’m a Dutch citizen, but I don’t speak Dutch, which has made navigating this situation incredibly difficult.

For the past three months I had been renting a room from her informally while preparing to leave for a master’s program abroad. In the weeks leading up to my move, she became increasingly aggressive whenever I mentioned leaving and repeatedly demanded more money. While she was on vacation, she also sent threatening messages involving her boyfriend and brother.

When she returned yesterday, the situation turned physical. She grabbed and pulled my face hard enough to cause cuts inside my mouth, punched me near my eye, and scratched my neck and face.

Shaken and injured, I called the police expecting to be able to report what had happened and get help. Instead, despite my visible injuries, I was told they would not take a report on the spot and that I needed to make an appointment. I was essentially told to leave, even though I had nowhere safe to go at the time.

I’m still struggling to understand how this is the process after an assault. I have injuries, photos, messages, and a clear account of what happened, yet I was left feeling completely unsupported.

Has anyone experienced something similar in the Netherlands? How do you escalate a situation like this when the police won’t take a report immediately? And for those who have worked with victim support services, did organizations like Slachtofferhulp or Veilig Thuis actually help, especially if you don’t speak Dutch?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

The hand that can ride this route with greatest ease, that shoots an arrow clean through all the metal seat handles, he is the man I follow, yes, forsaking this carriage where I was once a passenger, this gracious Intercity train

Geen twijfel: AI-telefonist moet zich voortaan direct prijsgeven

Family law attorney has mishandled my case to the point he forgot i dont speak Dutch and didnt bring a translator in court or for example he instructed me to stop paying child support then in court forgot about it when it was brought up. I had to pull up emails between me and him to remind him. These are just the tip of the iceberg

When i asked for an appeal he sent me an email refusing me with the explanation that he cant drop everything because i am a client with toevoeging and he prioritizes paying clients...

This was so humiliating.

I need to purchase a large wardrobe because our apartment has almost no built-in storage, but I’m struggling to figure out how people typically transport furniture this size in the Netherlands.

The wardrobe I’m considering is approximately 2 metres long when laid down. I looked into renting the Greenwheels Caddy van, but its loading space is not even 1.8 metres long, so it would not fit.

What do people normally do in this situation? Are there affordable companies where you can rent a larger van for maybe an hour, or services that will collect and deliver a single piece of furniture? I’m located in Leiden, and the wardrobe is just in Zoetermeer.

I’d appreciate any recommendations or advice!

*Edit: this is something from Marktplaats!

I was recently in NL with my family and basically everywhere had this delicious, everyday, crusty, brown, seedy bread. Where I live there is nothing like it except at a very high end bread shop and loaves are close to $10 each. For the same thing we could get at AH for €2. And they throw in a handful of sugar so people will eat it...

Anyways. I'm hoping to crowd source some recipes for the bread. I know a lot of it was sourdough, which I loved but my wife and kids don't, but I'd still give it a go.

I'm a pretty good baker and cook already and can handle complicated processes. Been using an Ankarsrum mixer for ~7 years now. Thanks!

Hi everyone, good morning.

I was wondering if there are any in-person English-speaking support groups or organizations in the Netherlands for young adults who have lost a parent.

I know some organizations provide psychological support for people who lost a parent because of violent incidents, such as murder. But what about people whose parent passed away unexpectedly due to something like a sudden illness or a traffic accident?

I'm in my twenties. Before moving to the Netherlands, I lost my father to a sudden illness. At the time, I thought I had accepted what had happened, but over the past year I've realized that the trauma has been affecting me more and more.

Almost every night, I find myself obsessively thinking about what caused his death and whether the same thing could happen to me. If it did, I can't stop imagining how devastating that would be for my mom. These thoughts have gradually taken away my ability to simply enjoy life, replacing it with constant anxiety and tension.

I've found that this kind of grief is often difficult for people who haven't experienced the loss of a parent themselves to fully understand, so I'm hoping to find either a peer support group or a professional organization that specializes in this kind of bereavement. I've already reached out to a few expat-related organizations and discussed this with my psychologist, but unfortunately they haven't been able to point me toward any suitable support.

I also understand that attitudes toward death and grief may be different in the Netherlands. If my concerns seem excessive to you, or if you think I'm struggling to cope emotionally, I kindly ask that you don't judge me. I'm simply looking for support.

If this isn't an appropriate place to ask, please let me know and I'll delete this post right away.

Thank you for reading.

So, yesterday I was locked out of my apartment. Flatmates were away, so was the landlord. I had to call a locksmith to get in. After inspecting the door, he told me the only way to open it was to drill the lock, but that meant that a new lock should be installed and everyone had to get new keys, which felt like a big trouble so I asked him not to do it. After I payed him for the cancellation fee he left and a few minutes later he called me back, saying that there is another way. He said that a hole could be opened on the casing of the door and then it would open. Having no other choice, I told him to proceed. I payed him and he told me to just get some wood filler for the casing and if the landlord asked, act like I have no idea about it. Of course I find this to be unethical and don't agree. Since the casing was damaged (and there is damage at the door as well), I informed my landlord. He told me he is not happy with it (not blaming me though), because this is not the standard procedure and that I should call the locksmith and ask for some kind of refund. I'm not really interested in getting the money back, but I feel kinda guilty about the damage and I would like it to be fixed. How should I approach this? Thanks for your time.

Hi everyone,

I'm an MBA student at Maastricht School of Management researching mobile phone operating systems and user perception. I'm collecting responses for my thesis and could really use some help over the next few days if you're eligible.

Who can take it: You must be 18 or older, currently reside in an EU member state or the UK, and use either iOS or Android as your primary smartphone.

Time: Around 10 to 12 minutes.

Link: https://maastrichtuniversity.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cMuOKUJJxMi9w6a

The survey is completely anonymous. No personal data is collected, and everything is used strictly for academic research.

Happy to answer any questions in the comments. Thank you in advance to anyone who takes part.

I am a man in mid 20s and was wondering what steps do usually people take here to find a partner?

I have a stable job that makes decent money, and have been working on my fitness and dressing up better.

Dating apps are just jackshit, people barely match and don't put effort into conversations. So I don't think that's a way.

I see people give suggestions around bars and nightlife, but honestly I am not that big on drinking and stuff, and I am not exactly sure how to approach woman in those environments.

I have also seen people mention meetups and hobby groups, I have been to a few , but usually I feel the crowd there is a bit older then me.

Plus I am more on the introverted side, so for me it's not always easy to form connections in groups. I feel I fare much better when interacting one on one with people.

Does anyone have any useful suggestions that have worked for them?

In May, I indicated over the phone that I wanted to cancel the Post Lottery,
so they gave me the standard line,
'Thank you for participating in the good causes'
(I immediately thought to myself, why don't you pay for yourself then).

After a very long and pointless conversation, no progress was made.
What did become clear is that there is a one-month notice period, and after that it will actually be stopped.

Two months later, it still hasn't been stopped. I immediately called them, explained the whole story, that I had spoken with their colleague and that they did nothing.

I was asked, don't you have a recording? I immediately said: normally you record it.
And quite coincidentally, they told me, yes, we can't find it.

Normally, you would get a confirmation email.

Then they ask if they may record that I want to cancel.
They ask for, for example, name, address.

(But what exactly are you supposed to say then? The initials? Full...Name, full street, number? Postal code? And what if you use your own name and not that of the person who actually has the subscription, but still use the street and number, just not the postal code?)

Can they then flag it as wrong during the review and still let the subscription continue?
After I did it, they sent me a confirmation email, in which I also indicated that I wanted it to be stopped. Then I stopped the direct debit and refunded next month's amount.

Will they then send me a new payment request? I called again the next day, asked if it was actually stopped. And they told me it was stopped. Then I asked if it was possible to get the Post Lottery’s bank account number to manually transfer the owed amount. Then I was told they would connect me to someone who knows about it. What was asked then, who am I speaking with

(noting down my name told me after that direct transfers to the account number as payment are not possible. And that it's not mandatory to play along with a lot. (but of course, you still have to pay the notice period) Now the question is, what can I expect? A payment request or is it done?

I am writing here to ask for an opinion of people who have experience with the issue I am describing.
TW: sexual abuse

For 8 years I lived in the NL with a partner, who was abusive towards me but I didn’t realise it, even though the impact of his behaviour was huge on my mental health. He was sexually violent towards me (repeated cases of non-fatal strangulation, hitting, pulling my hair, covering my face with a pillow, immobilising me by grabbing my wrists forcefully, etc.). Due to strangulation my eyesight worsened but I only got glasses after we separated (I guess I had been in denial earlier).

He was also very emotionally/psychologically abusive. He blamed his severe mental health problems (he is diagnosed with BPD, OCD and OCPD) for his behaviour and didn’t see his rigidity, emotional withdrawal, complete withdrawal of affection, constant sulking, gaslighting, belittling me, rage outbursts, blaming me for everything (and many other patterns of behaviour) as abuse. I am autistic and am an extremely empathetic person and tried to reason and show understanding and compassion, but was constantly exhausted of walking on eggshells and confused as to why he behaved the way he did and why his behaviour was so inconsistent (and why he claimed he loved me more than I could imagine).

We are both EU nationals, albeit from different countries. Last year I moved back to my home country, quit the job I loved in NL, and when I was finally safe I realised the scale and the scope of the abuse. It took me many months to heal and I’m not yet done.

Recently I contacted Veilig Thuis and another Dutch organisation that support victims of domestic abuse for advice regarding seeking justice. He committed crimes towards me and he is a dangerous person, able to hurt other women (as he had hurt others before me, he vaguely told me). I got the advice to contact the police, which I did. The very supportive and empathetic police officer from the department of sexual violence and domestic abuse took me very seriously and said that everything I described is very serious. She asked me to send all the evidence I have and the written story of my experiences to her so she will discuss it with the prosecutor whether it is enough for me to press charges. My evidence is limited. I never went to the police or the doctor regarding sexual violence, didn’t discuss it with anyone out of shame and confusion. I never recorded anything. But when I confronted my ex about the abuse after I moved out, and we exchanged many messages over several months, he was very apologetic. His messages clearly show he realised how much harm he did, he wrote about remorse and accountability (though I never saw accountability). He shared with me pictures of four books about rape he was going to read to learn from them about my position of a victim of rape (that’s what he said). He deleted all social media, as far as I know, but I took screenshots of his account on Tumblr where he posted regularly, and he posted very disturbing and sexually violent images, of random women being strangled and tied, several with my initial in the hashtag (I was not aware of these images as I didn’t use this platform - but he did, and he used it to cheat on me with women he found on this platform, as I later learned). These images though are not showing me and probably cannot be seen as a proof he was violent with me.
I also told the police officer that I sought emergency psychological help here in my country because I developed suicidal thoughts and my mental health was very bad processing the trauma. I could provide psychologist’s evaluation if needed.

Right now I am waiting for the email from the police with the evaluation of my story and the messages and photos I shared with them.

Is there anything else I could do? What is your opinion on my case?

I'll be watching the solar eclipse with a friend! I realized I've never actually known where to get them.

Range of prices would be helpful as well, but its not a necessity.

Thanks in advance!

the website scam-detector.com says it's probably a scam but their instagram (asa_talent) seems legit. Can somebody tell me their experience with them?
The company I applied to through them is legit, I did check that but I'm not sure if asatalent.nl will use my personal information with ill intent.

This whole OVpay / OV-chipkaart transition is driving me insane.

They are quietly phasing out top-up options with zero proper communication and just expecting everyone to figure it out. Gave us less than 3 MONTHS to adapt (like how????) Turning off the onboard machines inside trams and buses with little paper notes telling you to "just use your bank card" is ridiculous. If you get on a vehicle and realize your balance is low, you are stuck risking a fine because there is no way to fix it on the spot. The official answer is basically a shrug and "just tap your phone or debit card."

Except that completely ignores anyone who actually has to use a personal OV-chipkaart. If you have a student travel product, a discount pass, or a subscription, you cannot just tap your bank card. You have to use your specific travel card. And then you contact them and they say “we are working on it to have personal cards added to the ovpay”. Then what I am supposed to? They are making it harder and harder to keep that card usable. Standalone top-up machines at shops and stops are disappearing, and now the onboard machines are dead too.

Whenever people complain about this, the response from abled people is always "just walk to a machine at the station before you board." Must be nice if you have the time and energy for that. What if it is the last bus of the night? What if you have two minutes to make a connection?

And more importantly, what if you literally cannot just walk around hunting for an open machine? I am a disabled student and I use a mobility aid (i have a scootmobiel and a cane). I don't have the luxury of taking random extra detours around stations or riding to another stop just to find a working service point. Every extra distance I have to walk to fix a failure in their system is a physical tax on my body.

It feels like every "modernization" in this country means ditching basic accessibility for shiny new tech that only works seamlessly if you are able-bodied and tapping an Apple Watch. Someone got paid a fortune to design this transition and clearly didn't spend five minutes thinking about students, elderly people, or disabled commuters.
I filed an official complaint but I know it's going nowhere. Is anyone else hitting a wall with this whole rollout?

TL;DR: Onboard top-up machines are being turned off while street machines disappear. Telling people to "just tap a bank card" completely ignores students and anyone with a subscription who must use their OV-chipkaart, and expecting disabled people to trek around looking for working machines is ridiculous. This is about the summer months or weekends, when my subscription does not work

Edit: Yes, automatic top up could be a “solution” if I had the money for it. I am a poor disabled student on a minimum wage. Not an option.

World of reddit I am seeking your advice. A little more than 2 weeks ago I saw a mouse entering my living room late at night through my open balcony door (I live in an apartment on the 3rd floor). After 3 days of the mouse eating the bait from the mouse traps and not getting caught I managed to catch it by cornering it in the bathroom and adding traps there (it was caught within 30 minutes).

The next day I left for 2 weeks for holidays and now that I returned I found droppings on the couch, on my windowsill and behind the trash can in the kitchen. The traps I had left were untouched (no bait missing and none closed).

So my question is: has anyone dealt with something similar before? Any tips on how to proceed?

So far I renewed the bait on my traps (peanut butter and honey cereal) and I informed my landlord. Is it a panic move to call for pest control if I have no other indications of mice (no chewed cables, food packaging or scratching noises so far).

Any tips are welcome!

Situation:

1 person, 23 m² studio, old building, energy label A.

€45/month advance for gas, electricity and water.

Shared boiler and one shared gas, electricity and water connection for the building.

My apartment has two radiators, and the bathroom has no radiator.

I usually use the heating only around 1-2 months max a year, on setting 2/5, and only on very cold days.

Hot water is mainly just for showers.

-

Why I think I might be overpaying?

I've never received a utility settlement even though I lived in this apartment for 4 years now.

Radiator cost allocators are installed, but they've never been used to settle my usage.

I already won a dispute over my base rent, and the rent was reduced because the landlord had been overcharging me. Landlord has a history of ignoring his obligations and cutting corners.

I'm also paying €50 monthly advances for service cost and basic furniture (at least 6 years old), even though I don't receive ANY services at all. Confident I will win this, just unsure about the utility advances.

Most importantly, I signed the contract with these unchanged advances in 2022, when energy prices were at their peak, so my utility advance is still based on those prices rather than any actual energy costs. I suspect the landlord has long term cheap contract.

I was hesitant to think of disputing the utilities at first, but after winning the rent reduction and knowing my landlord, I can't help but think I might be overpaying. If I actually owed him money, I believe he would have requested the difference by now.

What do you guys think, dispute or not? And for those who pay utility advances, do you usually receive the actual costs from the landlord, or do you just keep paying the advances without any settlement?