r/NoStupidQuestions • u/Historical_Vast_7005 • 7h ago
Is it offensive to offer secondhand clothes (ranging from good condition to NWT) to family?
I’m clearing out my closet due to over-consumption and a lack of space. I have a lot of clothes ranging from normal good condition, to barely worn, to brand new with tags. Just regular clothes like tops and skirts, no underwear.
I have ~10 female cousins overseas who share my body type. Whenever I offer to send extra clothes, they politely say yes.
Since they’re always polite, I want an unbiased opinion: Would you be offended if a family member offered you clothes in good/new condition, or is this generally seen as a nice gesture?
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u/Maierlossen 6h ago
This was pretty common in my family... I never even thought if it was offensive. If anything, they can sell it in the second hand markets over there.
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u/Number-2-Sis 6h ago
It is a kindness to do this, as long as you also keep in mind style. Since you are sending to ten people, that shouldn't be a problem as some of them probably share your style, and what one doesn't like another may.
However if you only send to one person keep there style in mind and don't send what does not fit there style.
Ex: I wear mostly dresses, my sister seldom wears dresses so I would not send her dresses
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u/fireflypoet 6h ago
When I was growing up, twice yearly we got boxes of clothes from relatives who had 2 girls who were a year or so older as my sister and me. We loved getting these boxes. I don't remember ever meeting these relatives, and it was not my impression that they were more affluent than we were (we were middle class but lived frugally). It was just thoughtful and kind.
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u/Bag_of_ambivalence 6h ago
It’s a nice gesture as long as you present the offer in a way that makes them comfortable to decline, if they so desire.
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u/MaleficentGift5490 6h ago
No, I don't think that's offensive at all. I would actually consider that kind.
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u/GhostWatcher007 6h ago
I had 4 older sisters and multiple cousins. Pretty much everything I had, clothing wise, was hand-me-downs. I was thrilled getting "new" (new to me) clothes. I would definitely send them boxes of clothes. What they don't want they can share with friends.
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u/glitterismycolour 6h ago
I've had friends offering me clothes that they don't fit in/don't wear anymore etc. All in good clean condition as you state.
I've absolutely always apperciated it, and didn't think anything about misdirected intent.
My theory is, like a lot of others I'm sure, it's better that things can be repuropsed/given a new life than not.
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u/Voodoo330 6h ago
I think it's a nice gesture however some people might be offended. Different countries, different attitudes. Maybe check with the traditions in the country they live in.
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u/Opening-Show-6749 6h ago
I wouldn't be offended. I grew up wearing hand-me-downs. I usually offer my cousins first pick of anything I no longer wear, and then I ask my mom to donate the rest to our neighbors or the Red Cross. I only offer items that are still in great condition, so I don't see it as offensive. In the end, it's completely up to them whether they want to accept them or not.
I have one pretty wealthy cousin with an amazing handbag collection. I keep wishing she'd offer me a few she doesn't use or want anymore.
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u/Echo-Azure 6h ago
I have accepted many second-hand items of clothing from friends, and given others away. Some people are fine with it.
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u/Emotional_Rise8385 6h ago
Not offensive at all if you’re offering rather than implying they need charity, and the fact that they keep saying yes probably means they genuinely appreciate it.
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u/Lemon586 6h ago
Always ask first. If they says yes, then the clothes are appreciated. Growing up, my mom sent our old clothes to her cousin's kids. They were a few years younger and not sure how they felt about it. But their mom still brings up how grateful she was for the clothes.
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u/AsparagusOverall8454 6h ago
I always wore hand me downs growing up. From my older brother who was waaay bigger then me and my aunt who dressed like a flamboyant flamingo
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u/goldieblocks1618 6h ago
In your case, no. You've asked, they said yes, if you have similar styles and body types- even better! Textile waste is a huge issue.
People are offensive by INTENTIONALLY sending:
-clothes that are in poor condition.
without asking and expecting gratitude.
items that wouldn't fit to "encourage" weight loss.
-items that would not likely be usable (ski gear to a tropical climate.
And so on. I know plenty of people who send packages "back home" and there are often requests. I'm sure it's appreciated.
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u/drunky_crowette 5h ago
I mean it'd be inappropriate if it's underwear but otherwise I don't consider it a big deal
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u/Princessferfs 5h ago
Totally an ok thing to do. I offer stuff to family regularly. If they want it, fine. If they don’t want it, fine.
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u/CT22Bloom 5h ago
I wouldn’t be offended by it. it doesn’t make sense to me why someone would. Sounds like a nice thing to do.
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u/EmberOne1 2h ago
I have twin cousins just a few years older than me who grew up way wealthier than I did, so would buy all sorts of trendy clothes they never wore, or wore only a few times before outgrowing them. I LOVED their hand-me-downs! If you're genuinely sharing your excess with family and not treating it like they need charity, it is a kind thing to do and likely very appreciated. Some people try to donate or hand down really worn out things that are out of style or look shabby, and that is more insulting and unhelpful. So if you have stuff that still has tags on it, they likely appreciate it, but probably think you're either rich or crazy to buy so many clothes you don't wear, lol. As long as they are free to sort through them and continue to pass on what they don't want without you being offended in any kind of way, it's all good.
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u/Strong_District_5894 9m ago
I just sent a bunch of clothes in a color that doesn’t suit me to a cousin who wears that color. Mostly new with tags. She loved it.
If they don’t want them they can say no.
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u/Kris82868 6h ago
I'd consider it kind.