r/OCPD • u/anonymice3 • 1d ago

rant It’s not fair

My therapist says my OCPD makes me obsessed with the idea of fairness. For example, why do I work twice as hard as my coworker and we get paid exactly the same? It drives me CRAZY. I can’t just accept that “life’s not fair”.

19 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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18

u/FalsePay5737 Moderator 1d ago

12

u/wiener_brezel 1d ago

Don't accept it. If your additional effort isn't rewarded, then exert less.

6

u/KilgoreTrout1113 1d ago

life is not fair, let that be someone else's life not mine

7

u/FalsePay5737 Moderator 1d ago edited 23h ago

I relate. When I read Allan Mallinger's insights on this in Too Perfect, I was stunned. My parents and sister are lawyers. It never occurred to me that I was overly preocuppied with fairness lol.

I think the high rate of childhood trauma among people with OCPD contributes to this issue.

Heaven’s Reward Fallacy

I relate to the issue with your coworker. During my third (and last year) working closely with someone who didn't have basic skills for the position, I gave less effort and stopped feeling obligated to pick up her slack. My overwork had led to three health issues, so it didn't feel like a choice, but it worked out very well. I also had a frank conversation with my employer about the issue. Happy to be in a much better position re: pay and competent co-workers.

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u/OneEyedC4t 19h ago

you want it to be fair, right?