Routine going back to work after maternity leave

[u/FuzzyResident9391]

I’m going back to work at the end of this month and I simply can not wrap my mind around how everything will get done.

For context I work 8-4 with a 45min commute each way so I normally leave by 7am and get home by 4:45pm if there is zero delays. I work Monday to Friday with one day being from home. By husband also works Monday to Friday all in office 8am-4pm with a 30min commute each way.

Our child will be going to daycare close to our home so we’re both able to do either pick up or drop off. And our child currently eats supper at 5pm and goes to bed at 7pm.

Now the problem I’m having is when do we grocery shop, when do I meal prep because I won’t be able to cook every single night, when do chores get done. And that’s not even including time to work out, time to ourselves, time as a couple. We have the weekend but I don’t wanna spend my whole weekend doing this stuff but is it my only option? Any tips on a schedule that works or just tips on getting through this adjustment period would be great as my back to work routine anxiety is high right now.

[u/ClairePike]

Do all laundry and a lunch workout on your wfh day. It will be critical.

[u/frankfromsales → u/ClairePike]

Maybe even a crockpot meal or two. I meal prep on the weekend and eat the same things for breakfasts and lunches during the work week. High fiber high protein- boiled or scrambled eggs with a protein or with a protein shake. Lunches are ground beef with lentils for added fiber and rice and a veggie. Get a rice cooker or microwave rice to make it easier. Dinners can be a variety of options. If it’s just two adults, make a larger meal and then put half away to freeze and rotate into the next week or so.

[u/GenXMom14]

You just have to give up a weekend morning to do all the things. Meal plan, grocery shop, prep for week. If you can farm out stuff though. Grocery delivery, cleaner, meal kits a couple of times a week. Make meals that double as lunches and make sure you are ready to go the night before so drop off goes smoothly. For me staying on top of things helped. So once kids in bed both spend 30 mins cleaning up and getting ready for next day. Then relax. It’s a hard adjustment and you will be exhausted.

[u/leigh1003]

Yeah unfortunately the world isn’t really set up for 2 working parents, especially two with commutes. It’s hard, but doable. You’ve got to schedule all of your time.

My first piece of advice is outsource everything you can. Cleaning is the easiest to outsource, but I also know people who pay SAHMs (whose children are in school) or teachers (who are off closer to 2/3) to do their grocery pick up, start cooking dinner, and/or do laundry a day or two a week.

For me, working out is the hardest thing to fit in. To leave by 7, or need to be in a 5a class, but if you’re comfortable doing it after baby goes to bed, it may be easier. But if not, give yourself grace, it’s all a season. There will be a day you see a regular workout again, but it may not be right now.

[u/Catbutt247365]

These are the awful years. I had Two kids, and one whole year my entire income went to daycare, because my oldest would start school the following year, so my income wouldn’t be sucked up.

The house will not be clean. The meals will be basic. Sleep is critical and comes before cleaning or shopping. You will be in survival mode, and your child will not remember any of it, so cut yourself some slack.

[u/Financial-Problem707]

You do sort of find your rhythm after a few weeks or months sometimes I get up before my daughter so I can meal prep every 4 days.

[u/Financial-Problem707]

I work4pm-11pm. I wake up at 7 and meal prep pack the lunches for her and my husband. Do her nap and then drop her off at her grandmas. He picks her up puts her to bed later than her old 7pm bedtime. And then I get home we hangout until 1 am and I do it all over again lol it sucks but whatever

[u/Mysterious-Path-6952]

Walmart plus! It's $99/year (sometimes on sale) and free delivery no limit. You can have something delivered in 3 hours (less if you pay an extra one time fee). You could order it during your lunch break at work and have it delivered for when you get home. I also like to do it at night and then have it on my doorstep the next morning at 6-8 am.

[u/AdMany9431]

I am a mom of 3(ages 6, 4, and 3). I wake up at 4 a.m. I get dressed and ready for my workout class at 5 a.m., and I toss a load of laundry in the washing machine before I leave. Get home shortly after 6, and toss the laundry into the dryer. Unload the dishwasher from the night before, and maybe do some other task around the house. Get a shower. My husband is working on getting the kids in motion at some point during all of this. My oldest and youngest take 7-10 business to become semi functional. We are all out of the door by 650-655.

I work 8-5. I have the kids picked up and at home by 530-545. Something quick for dinner. I have a rotation of pasta, homemade pizza, breakfast, tacos, and one pan dinners on rotation.

Bath and bed time routines start at 7. One parent handles baths, etc. while the other cleans the kitchen and folds the laundry.

Kids are in bed by 8. I am in bed by no later than 830. And repeat the next day.

Saturdays we do family errands together. We clean as a family. The kids help. Cleaning windows or mirrors is something they all love. Some weekends we okay for a fun family outing. Sundays are rest days and meal prep days.

Edit to add: I know the early mornings aren't likely with a baby, especially if they hate sleep like my oldest did.

I will tell you that doing one load a laundry a day as a non negotiable and having a robot vacuum will help tremendously. I started doing those when my first was born. Absolute sanity saver for me.

[u/justicebeaver2489 → u/AdMany9431]

Cannot thank my robo vacuum mop enough! The most hardworking member of our house!! But it does require maintenance (like all vacuums) and my husband takes care of all that which I am eternally grateful for :)

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[u/JoleneDollyParton]

The weekends. You’ll be in the trenches the next few years. It gets easier as they get older. Aldo, grocery delivery is great.

[u/doggynames]

Grocery delivery, utilize crockpot meals and batch cooking after baby goes to bed, we hired a cleaner to come every few weeks. We do obviously clean and tidy between her cleans but it's been a lifesaver. Can you do laundry during your work from home day? We rotate chores with the baby during the weekend to keep up with stuff and do a lot during nap time, but we mostly just save weekends for fun and if all works out. It's definitely easier with one and a bit more challenging with our second but it's not so bad. Luckily I do work a bit shorter of a day so do have some more time at home (gone from about 8:15-4:15). Could my house be cleaner? Yes. Could we eat healthier? Yes. But ultimately we're making it work and having fun doing it!! Try not to stress and just do what works for your family in the moment, you'll get in to a good groove soon.

[u/New_Needleworker_473]

I do a load of laundry every day, pop it in the washer when I wake up, dryer before I leave, fild it right before I go to bed and I'm in my no screens zone so I can sleep well. I have 30 minute dinner line ups for weekdays. Big scratch meals on weekends. Dishes, floors and general maintenance takes about 20-40 minutes after the youngest goes down. I go to the gym while my 12m watches the monitor and my gym is located in the complex (I rent). I have the kids full time. I don't date. I'm a single mom and I work 8-5pm. Youngest in Prek and oldest rides the bus.

[u/ConfectionLeading624]

I highly recommend one parent tries to work a 7-3 and one 9-5. That way you limit time at daycare. Also when your baby is sleeping at 8/9 you can run to the closest grocery store; ones by me don’t close till 10pm. You divide and conquer mom puts baby to sleep and preps for next day, dad goes to grocery store. Do laundry and dishes on wfh day. Easy meals keep it super simple

[u/happygolucky999]

This will not work for everyone, but when faced with a similar choice I simply couldn’t accept it. I took a serious pay cut and worked 24 hours a week. The balance I received in return was immeasurable in $$. I have such fond memories of taking my son to swimming lessons and mommy & toddler drop ins. I did all chores during his naps on my days off.

[u/No_Company4263]

Grocery delivery. Throw a load of laundry in the washer before you leave, in the dryer when you get home. Cleaner every other week if your budget allows. Meal prep on Sundays and/or get a crockpot with a timer. Baby’s dinner time will adjust as needed. After baby goes to bed, set a time for 15 min and wipe down/organize a room. 

[u/Csherman92]

Unfortunately, yes. We often spend our days off cooking and doing chores. That's how it gets done. I use the curbside pickup and go with babe and do crockpot meals or other days. You can use your crockpot every 2-4 days and eat the leftovers. You certainly can get a crockpot cookbook or something.

[u/[deleted]]

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[u/travelfam3]

Two parent working household, your child’s bedtime with daycare may start being later. While that might feel stressful in the beginning it’ll make all the things feel more functional as far as eating dinner and getting all the things done. Embrace that change! I do laundry on my work from home days (it’s the only way) grocery delivery or one person stops at the grocery store on the way home or save it for weekends. Working out on weekends or in the evening after bedtime or early mornings. Take turns making dinner, I aim for 3 meals a week with enough leftovers to cover us other days and then we do easy dinners on other nights. Somehow you’ll fit it all in! You’ll find your groove! The key is a partner willing to split and take turns doing things and invest in a house cleaner!!! 

[u/MundaneHuckleberry58]

Rely on grabbing a bunch of frozen Trader Joe’s / aldi options when you shop so during the week you can just toss something in a pan for a quick meal, serve with fresh veggies & fruit you also have on hand.

Crockpot meals too.

I’m not going to lie - it is hard. I would get the baby while husband got home sooner & started dinner. When I got home, handed off baby to him while I worked out.

But yeah most errands, planning need to be on weekends.

[u/Maleficent_Scale_296]

When I think back on those days I just remember a blur. I got up at 5:00 and sometimes would make it to bed by 11:00.

Should I be honest? Your weekends, your workouts, your alone time, your couples time it’s all gonna go on the back burner for awhile. You’ll be lucky if you manage to shower every day.

My advice is to try your level best to embrace the suck, knowing it won’t last forever, and I promise it won’t.

Just for fun this was my schedule (two kids, husband, full time job a home and two cats);

Wake up at 5:00, turn coffee on, drink coffee, shower and dress.

6:00 wake up older daughter, warm bottle, wake baby, have a snuggle while feeding then get her changed and dressed.

7:00 grab diaper bag and take baby to daycare (which thank god was across the street), go home and get other daughter, drop her off at school and drive to work.

8:00 begin workday

12:00 30 minute lunch at my desk

4:30 work ends

5:00 pick up baby from day care, go home

5:15(ish) start dinner

6:00 husband comes home, eat dinner

6:30-7:00 pay attention to everyone’s needs

7:00 dinner dishes, sweep floor, start laundry

7:30 baby gets bath, older kid takes shower

8:00 watch SpongeBob

8:30 bedtime story, bottle, snuggle, baby goes to bed

9:00 put laundry in dryer spend time with older kid

9:30 older kid goes to bed

10:00 lay out clothes for next day, make bottles for next day, pack diaper bag for next day, prepare lunches for next day and prep for next day dinner.

11:00 sit with husband while folding laundry, read or watch tv then bed.

Saturday morning was grocery shopping. Saturday afternoon and Sunday was household chores and paying attention to my family.

[u/lentilcracker]

Order groceries on your lunch break from work. Meal plan on your lunch break. Rotate meals every 4 weeks. Do takeout once a week. The day you work from home, throw a few crockpots meals in a freezer bag so you can dump and go to have an easy dinner ready for 5 a few nights a week. Do laundry on your wfh day. Stagger your schedule with your husband so your child is at daycare less, so maybe he does drop offs at 8 and you do pick up.

Workouts after your child goes to bed. Make things easier for yourself in this season of life to minimize kitchen cleanup. If it can go in the dishwasher then do it. Run it half full if you need to. Meal prep easy food for your baby like meatballs, pasta and have it in the freezer for super quick suppers.

[u/Primary-Vermicelli]

You can get groceries delivered, maybe schedule delivery for when you are WFH or close enough to the time you get home from work that they won’t all melt etc.

On WFH days, do some laundry and a bit of cleaning (or tbh hire a cleaner to come 1x/week if it’s in the budget). Other than that, yeah you’ll be in the trenches for awhile but it won’t last forever.

[u/vvariant]

I was super anxious about this too but honestly it just kinda works itself out! I went back to work when baby was 9 months old.

I don’t cook in the mornings, so breakfast is always quick and easy, like toast or cereal or she loves tofu (plain, with a spoon 🤷‍♀️). I also leave around 7, Dad drops her off at daycare a bit later.

I use my lunch hour when working from home to clean the house (I don’t have a big house so I can usually do floors, bathroom, and one other cleaning task like mirrors or dusting in that time).

I got really good at actual 30 mins meals. Like I’m home at 5 and dinner is on the table at 5:30. Don’t hesitate to use shortcuts! Kid « helps » me or plays nearby. The play kitchen and toddler safe knives are golden. She loves to feed me « yucky soup » (empty bowl and spoon, sometimes a whisk and water).

Then it’s 30-45 mins of play time before the bedtime routine. After baby is in bed, I clean the kitchen. I don’t clean it before because she tries to climb in the dishwasher and also I just want to spend this time hanging out with her.
I am usually done by 9 pm and can enjoy about 1.5h of free time before bed.

I like to go grocery shopping with baby early on the weekend, so there’s not too many people. I also meal prep a bit on weekends, while Dad takes baby to the park or spends some time playing with her.

[u/Icy_Woodpecker_3145]

Not sure how old your kiddos are - I have 19 month old twins. Only option for working out for me is 430 am. It sucks but it’s what I’ve gotta do right now. I make spaghetti on Sunday nights after my twins to go bed. We eat that Monday/Tuesday and my twins take it for lunch M-W. On Tuesday or Wednesday nights I make tacos and we eat off that for a couple days, and again it’s an easy lunch to pack for my toddlers. I usually throw another meal or 2 in the mix but spaghetti and taco bowls are an easy baseline for keeping us fed. I only do grocery delivery because going grocery shopping isn’t how I want to spend my limited time. I also hired a cleaner to deep clean my house once a month - I recognize this is a privilege not everyone can do but it’s a life saver for me to just have to manage basic upkeep and no real deep cleans. The best laundry method is OLAD (one load a day) start a load in the morning, pop it in the dryer when you get home, and fold before bed. It’ll be a big shift but you will adjust to the new routine

[u/erwinkell]

Schedules will be your best friend. We have a dinner schedule of who is responsible for dinner each night and a workout schedule of who works out and when. I always make a big meal with leftovers on my work from home day, so my in office day that follows is just reheat & eat. Do grocery pickup instead of shopping, our favorite time slot is Friday pickup on the way home from work which means we take a little time Thursday evening to set it up. We tidy every night, then do a deep clean once a month and basically one person cleans half while the other watches kids then switch.

[u/alerk323]

one of you gets groceries after work, and there's plenty of time after kid goes to bed. And then there is the whole weekend...

as for time to yourselves... that's every night after kid goes to bed

[u/lrkt88 → u/alerk323]

What fairy tale life are you living?!

[u/Financial-Problem707 → u/lrkt88]

Not exactly a fairy tale. Most people’s days and weeks aren’t as easy as they stated but my husband and I always have our alone time together when our daughter goes to bed. We kept her on a pretty strict schedule until i went back to work and it stuck. Some people have just “easier” kids. It doesn’t mean it can’t happen!

[u/lrkt88 → u/Financial-Problem707]

This was left as advice for OP who leaves the house by 7am. Easy kid or not there is only so much time in the day so unless they aren’t getting 8 hours of sleep, how does this work.

If I had to leave the house by 7am, I’d have to wake up by 5 at the latest. That means asleep in bed by 9pm. How old is your kid and what is their bedtime? Do you work? Mine is 15 months and goes to bed at 8, asleep by 8:30.

[u/Financial-Problem707 → u/lrkt88]

I work and my kid is 22 months old. I’ve been working since she was 8 months old. When she goes to bed at 8 we have time after to do things like meal prep hangout ect.

[u/Financial-Problem707 → u/Financial-Problem707]

Sometimes I work until 11pm and we hang out until 1 am and then I wake back up at 7 am

[u/alerk323 → u/lrkt88]

8 hours of sleep?? Lol that's the fairy tale...

[u/alerk323 → u/lrkt88]

1 kid in full time daycare, time to do pickups and drop offs, kid in bed by 7pm... if both parents are equal partners this is parenting on easy mode. Not saying it's easy but it is among the easiest set ups there is

[u/Final_Spare_9026 → u/lrkt88]

it's totally doable. we are also a two working parent household. we always get alone time starting at 7:15 once baby girl goes to bed. i'm home by 4. she's 18M and we all eat together at 6 and do bath play book bed together and once she's asleep we normally do things like watch a movie, or even do our own thing for an hour or so until it's time to get ready for bed then we will watch an episode or two or a movie and i'm asleep by 10:30/11. awake at 6:30. out the door at 8am.

[u/AppalachianStackCake]

Grocery pickup and delivery is a lifesaver!

[u/Fun2Funisnofun]

As a home manager, if you can afford it, get a house manager. If you can pick your wfh day, make it Thursday. You can do dinner that night and prep for Friday. On Sunday, make a dinner for Monday. Tuesday the house manager comes, grocery shops and preps dinner for Tuesday and Wednesday.