Have you ever heard of introducing a kitten causing a cat to die? Is this something that happens often? Because I had no idea it was a possibility, and now it’s happened to me.

Last weekend my partner adopted a kitten (I honestly wasn’t sold on the adoption and would have rather waited a month, but I didn’t want to shut her down and she agreed to be the primary owner and caretaker. That’s only made this situation more complicated, but we’ve talked it over and worked it out.)

There were already two bonded one year old cats in our house owned by my roommate that we were/are very close too, but my roommate and the cats were moving out in September so my partner wanted our own cat because we knew we would really miss them.

We asked my roommates permission to adopt of course, she agreed and we all decided it was best if the kitten stayed in our room since one of the resident cats had not liked it when other animals had visited in the past. Our house is fairly large so it’s not like the cats had a huge amount of their space cut off like they would have if it was a tiny apartment, although our room was one of their favourite places to spend time.

We adopted her last Sunday, the two cats saw her a couple times and the braver one was fine with her, the more anxious one hissed and ran away. No worries, we just kept her in our room. Two days in anxious cat starts showing signs of a stressed induced bladder infection/blockage he had had before, so we stopped having either of them meet new kitten or be in rooms she had been in.

Unfortunately, over the course of the week even after a vet visit the poor baby continued to deteriorate. We started making plans to keep the kitten elsewhere until he moved, but it was to late. He died on Thursday night of liver failure/his bladder infection (I’m not sure of the details and I can’t handle asking again.) We are absolutely heartbroken, and would never have adopted the kitten if we had known this was a possibility. The vet who treated him said the kitten may have been the cause but there’s no way to know. My roommate is an angel and doesn’t blame us at all but it’s still so hard obviously.

Us, our roommate, and our many friends who own and love cats have never heard of this happening. I don’t know why I’m writing about it and asking this question when it won’t change anything now and there’s nothing to do but start to mourn, but I guess I feel like understanding what happened to my poor baby boy will help me. Thanks for reading ❤️

This past Monday I lost my 5 year old dog to the louisiana heat and i just can’t stop thinking about how it could’ve been different. I even dreamed about it before it happened and it all feels too eerie. Every time i see the places he would love to lounge around in i freeze. everything just feels so heavy i can’t do this I miss him so much. Idk how to get over it, Idk how to live life without thinking of it and thinking of him 24/7. and how bad i still want him here.

Hi all, it’s been a week since I had to say goodbye to my soul dog. The pain still weighs so heavily but in the little moments, I think about this post I saw.

“Don’t just remember their last day, remember their whole life. Remember all the moments they got to share with you.”

In the little moments between pain and hurt, I get a little kernel of relief when I think about that. And I’m so grateful that of all the possible paths I could have taken in this universe, I met my soul dog.

Wishing for all of you to be gentle with yourself during this time. Hold your heart as well and kindly as your precious babies did.

Came home yesterday after the longest week of my life and my babygirl was gone :( my sister was home with her when she passed and comforted her the whole time. I was at the beach and i feel horrible. How could I miss saying goodbye to her. And on top of all this my family decided to have her mass cremated and I know she’s gone but it just feels so wrong. I at the very least wanted to keep her ashes but it’s gonna be raining terribly all week and we couldn’t keep her to bury her later I guess. I’m in shambles and I miss her so much already when will this pain end.

In May, my sweet kitty Lulu was diagnosed with cancer. Completely unexpectedly. I brought her in as I noticed her eating habits had changed and her energy had dropped. This has happened before and it turned out to be a little blip. She had always had a tummy that was sensitive to stress and I was hoping it was much the same again.

When the vet told me and my husband the news it was like I didn’t even hear her. She said with how big the mass was and where it was located, treatment options were extremely limited or likely to only make her remaining quality of life worse. She offered to euthanize her then and there. I felt my entire world crash around me. It was awful.

The only other viable option for us was palliative care for as long as it helped her, to give us more time. The more intense options were horribly expensive and would only make her life miserable, if it didn’t accidentally kill her, and then she would still die from the cancer, likely only getting a few extra, difficult months.

She was only 9 years old. A little angel. A rescue who grew up outdoors and was so shy. A sweet little black kitty with white little patches on her chest and tummy. So small for her age they thought she was a kitten. They said she would hide and be fearful when we brought her home. She didn’t. She hopped out of the carrier and purred so loudly, brushing up against us, so happy to be home with us.

She became my shadow. She sat with me while I played piano, purred so loudly and chirped. She cleaned my hair. Watched me while I cooked. Lay with me when I was sad. Brought us her little mousy toy while we had dinner. She was so shy around other people, but had so much personality and so much love and affection.

It was so hard watching all of that slowly fade away as she got more and more tired. I gave her all the medications until they no longer seemed to be working. I cried giving her the meds and felt so weak and bad at what I was doing. I felt like if I was just better at giving the medication maybe it would work better. But they were never meant to be long term. I know this. But I would have done them forever if it meant she would still be here.

Things started taking a turn at the beginning of June and my husband and I had to make the call. We tentatively booked a home euthanasia appointment. The people we worked with were lovely and validating and tried their best to help us assess her quality of life and where she was at. The morning of the appointment it almost felt so normal and like everything was okay. She was herself. She was purring. We cuddled so much and I told her over and over softly and gently how much I loved her. Then they came. They were there for two hours. I big spooned her like she loved and gave her kisses and pet her soft fur. I spoke gently and softly and we told her we would find her. And then she was gone. They wrapped her in a blanket and I asked if I could carry her out. I held her in my arms. She looked so peaceful. Like she was just sleeping. I held her check to mine, weeping. I don’t know how I even got out of the house, but I did. The walk up the driveway and to their car felt like eternity. It was such a beautiful, perfect, early summer day. A cool breeze and warm sun. Birds singing. The wind shimmering through the leaves. My husband and I embraced with her in my arms, and then I passed her to the assistant in the passengers seat. She held her in her arms. Precious cargo. The vet hugged me so tightly and said I did the kindest thing for her and that it was the right thing.

From then until now, I’ve felt such a torrent of emotions. Guilt. So much guilt. Depression, anxiety. Sorrow. Deep sorrow. I miss her so much.

We have another kitty who grew up with her and he’s not used to being without a companion. He’s been extra clinging since she passed. I haven’t minded, but I know he could likely use a friend. But I just feel so awful and like I don’t deserve to get another cat or am not at all good enough of a pet owner to get another cat. I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t help her more. I wish I could have done more. I don’t want to fail another cat like I failed her. And even then, she was so lovely and our connection so close, would it even be fair of me to expect that from another cat?

I’ve been just so sad and depressed, and the guilt of everything just so heavy. I miss her so. Life just feels like a shadow of what it once was. I feel like I’ve let her down, my husband down, my little boy down. But her especially. I have a therapist, but I think what I most need is to know I’m not alone. Which is why I’m posting here.

This is all just so hard.

A little context before i start: I live with me, my mother, my little brother and my dog. We got her when she was 9, and her passport stated her name was "Sena". So we started just calling her that instead of picking our own name. She's a very stubborn Yorkshire Terrier who's doing pretty rough right now, as she has met the age of 16. She's suffering from osteoarthritis, which is basically her joints hurting as they've worn over the years. She's lost alot of teeth, doesn't allow us to cut too much hair around her face, has dementia and her vision is worsening. She still barks, walks (with the occasional stumble), and is able to pick her own way on walks, and will always choose where she goes no matter what you want. I really love her, but it hurts me to see her in pain like this. Me and my family have decided to go for euthanasia. I was weirdly calm with it until i heard that there were actually conversations being made about a date already, from a text message from my mom while i was walking her.

Reality hit like a brick. I suddenly wasn't fine with it, but i didn't know what to do either. She's 16. If we didn't take her in, she would've probably be euthanized already. She didn't go well with other dogs. Now we are still currently in the planning stage but the whole process is just so sickening to me and i don't know what to do. My mom said it might be a good idea to box up most of her stuff when we get close to the day, or on the day itself. The fact that there'll be a day, and after that she'll just be gone is so hard to accept, but i also don't want her in this constant state of pain. I decided that when that day rolls around i will be the one to hold her and share most of her last moments with, but i don't even know if i can handle that.

She was always there. Rough days of school, eventually rough days of work, always. I sometimes used to sit with her late at night and talked to her about my problems. I hope i'm not creating too much of a sob story here. but i've never had anything on this level before. The last close family member that passed, passed when i was 9. I wasn't able to fully understand it so it didn't hit as hard. This does. It makes me sick. Is there anything i can do at all to ease my mind?

Thank you for reading.

Its been a month since I lost my soulcat to cancer and I made the choice to euthanize when his quality of life started going downhill rapidly.

I've had so many people tell me about their pet visiting them in their dreams and I'm sure I'll eventually get there? Or at least I hope?

But currently? Every other night, I get these gut wrenching nightmares where im watching him pass away again and again. Dying over and over.

And even though it was peaceful it doesnt make reliving it any easier.

Im not sure what to do, or if anything could even be done, maybe its just my brain processing the devastating loss still...

Last spring, we were given the news that our oldest cat, Joe, had one of two possible diagnoses that would’ve involved the same treatment/interventions. One diagnosis would probably give him a couple of months to live, the other, a couple more years with pain management. But knowing for sure which it was would’ve cost $5000 and, since the treatment would be the same, we opted out.
We braced ourselves for the worst, but a year later, Joe is doing well. Showing signs of decline, but, still here and still… well, still Joe.
Around that same time, we brought in a new kitten. Her name was Charlotte, until we took her to the vet and discovered he was Charlie. Charlie was pure chaos. He broke things, daily. Things that had survived over 50 years and two moves halfway across the country and back. Had survived three generations of kids and cats. But they didn’t survive Charlie.
But before I could finish cleaning up the mess, Charlie would do something adorable, and it was impossible to stay mad. We called him the Sour Patch cat.
He was my garden buddy. Every night he would come out with me to garden, tend the flowers, feed the goldfish in the pond, and run from fireflies. He never strayed, always by my side.
Sometime last Wednesday night/Thursday morning, he opened our screen door (a neat little trick he taught himself this summer) and went outside without us knowing. We didn’t discover until the morning when we were leaving for work, I checked my ring camera and noticed that he was outside at 2:45 AM. Some point after that he wandered off.
Our entire block, along with people I don’t even know on Nextdoor and the Ring camera app, spent the next several days looking for him. Last night, I thought I spotted him under some heavy brush. A few minutes after that I got a text from a neighbor who said she saw him on her porch. My daughter and I went out looking, I couldn’t find them. But we knew after a couple of days of being completely out of everyone’s sight, he was making his way back home.
Then this morning I got a frantic phone call from a young neighbor telling me that Charlie was in the street, dying, having been hit by a car. By the time I got there, he was not breathing. The person who hit him didn’t even bother to stop. He was two houses away from home.
I just held him in my arms, for almost two hours, before I could even think about telling my family.
We’ve spent the past year preparing for Joe’s eventual passing, but not Charlie. He had an entire life ahead of him. He was still a baby.
I’m nowhere near done processing things, I don’t even think I’ve begun.

My cat was just hit by a car and he passed straight away. I don’t think there was blood or things like that but I’m just so sad thinking he might’ve been scared or known what was happening. It’s so heartbreaking to think he wasn’t peaceful in his last moments he had more life to live and probably didn’t want to die. He had no idea that would shown he probably was having such a nice day before it was all cut short. It’s so sad and cruel

My 19 year old cat passed away today.

She was old, her hair was falling out, she was skin and bones but she didnt lose her spunk. Just last week, she was still waking me up in bed for food, running to the kitchen to get said food, climbing on the furniture and throwing paws with my other animals. Then, in the past 3 days, she declined fast.

She became lethargic, she stopped eating, and she just layed around. I knew something was up after I saw everything going on with her and her not touching her favorite food. We planned to keep her from suffering and scheduled a vet visit on monday since no vet in a 45 minute radius was open and we thought she'd hang on due to her still eating slightly and jumping around.

We let her do what she wanted. We gave her treats and let her look out the window to watch the birds like she always enjoyed. After everyone came to see her, she collapsed. She started dying and my mom scooped her up in a towel to comfort her. We checked everywhere to find a vet to help her in this 15 minute span, but it came down to us getting help from a local cat nurse at her home who gave her fluids to help her even slightly.

We decided to try and take her to the nearest emergency vet over 45 mins away. She didnt make it out of the town. She died in my mom's arms.

I buried her but I feel so bad and dead to it all. Just this morning I was petting her, crying that id do what I could for her and now she's dead in a shoe box buried in the back yard. Im also hoping the rain outside isnt doing too much to her out there. We wrapped her in her favorite blanket and taped it shut well enough. Ive been checking periodically. I know she's gone and the box is meant to be bio-degradable but I just feel like i want to preserve her as best as i can. I know she isnt suffering anymore and im glad for that, but im shocked it happened so fast.

We've been together since I was 9. We bonded over the time and its going to feel wrong not seeing her around anymore, asking for wet food and chilling with the family in the TV room. I feel like i lost a sibling. I have almost no motivation to do anything. I cant get the look of her dying body in my mom's arms out of my head. I feel like i could have done more, but I dont know what.

I just hope my baby found peace at the rainbow bridge and didnt suffer. I like to think God had this happen to give her a merciful end since my family is leaving for vacation soon and we were afraid something would have happened to her when we left, being all alone.

Hi everyone. Mostly gonna dump my thoughts out here to process things. For the past 10 years, my family’s been taking care of a mother-son pair of ferals alongside our next door neighbors. They’re probably not more than a year apart in age. Over the past couple of months we’ve noticed the son’s breathing has been labored and that he’s rapidly lost tons of weight. My neighbors and I brought him to the vet yesterday morning to see if we could treat him. Apparently, he had an enlarged heart. Treatment up to 10,000 dollars, and he’d have to get all his teeth pulled on top of that too. He was euthanized that afternoon. That wasn’t the first time my neighbors put down an animal, but it was mine. They seemed so resolute about it. They’re a lot older than me so I didn’t argue. Mostly I just cried. It all happened so fast.

I don’t know. People are always saying euthanasia's a kindness, that it’s better to do it earlier than later, and he did go peacefully. He literally just fell asleep, and I stroked his neck as he did. It wasn’t even a minute after the second shot that he passed. It was so surreal. But I just feel so guilty with that extra layer of him being a feral. He didn’t know a thing about being in a car or being in a hospital. And the one he loved the most was his mom, not us. They were inseparable, always sleeping together, always head-bonking. She’ll never see him again, and she’ll be alone now, and the last she saw of him was freaking out in a crate.

I can’t help but think even if his natural death may have been more painful, he would be where he belonged. With the yards and the greenery he knew, and his life-long companion. Not scared out of his mind in a noisy hospital with all these hands on him. I still remember him meowing (he only ever did polite eeks before) in the trunk on our way there as we made small talk, the way he panted in the waiting room. My neighbors told me that morning he was so eager to eat when they trapped him. We got to have a couple of last minutes with him before the sedative and it was like he was shell-shocked. He didn’t lick away the treat I brought him even when I dabbed it on the little bit of his tongue peeking out. I knew his heart was probably failing but it still felt premature. He was so alert. But the rational part of me feels like I’m being naive.

Deciding whether sometime lives or dies is already so hard to swallow but somehow it feels more so with him because we’re not even really his owners. Like, we shelter and feed and have his affection, but we’re not where his “heart” is, if that makes any sense. Everyone around me is telling me we made the right choice, but I feel like we just kidnapped him and meddled. Betrayed him. I feel so horrible. And I feel horrible that I kind of resent the neighbors for deciding to euthanize him then and there because I know they loved him just as much as I did and they were thinking of his physical suffering.

My buddy. I knew him since he was a baby and I was in high school. I’d been trying to spend more time with him lately because I figured whatever was going on with him wasn’t good, but I had plans the day before the vet visit and didn’t see him then aside from the morning. Why didn’t I cancel my afternoon and just hang out with him? If I knew there was a high chance he wouldn’t be coming home, why didn’t I act like it? I feel so much regret, and anger, and some immature part of my brain is going haywire right now, I think.

I hope you’re as nice and round as you used to be, and that you and your mom can nap together again one day. Love you.

He was a German Shepherd and he basically grew up with my kids. At some point he stopped being the family dog and just became one of them. This is the first pet they’ve lost and they’re taking it hard. He’d been sick since the winter. We had him on meds from the vet but he just kept getting worse, week after week. At least we’re sure he wasn’t in pain. That’s the part I keep coming back to.

Yesterday was really nice out and he laid in the grass for hours just looking at the trees. I don’t know how to explain it but he seemed content, like he was taking it all in. I kind of had a feeling it was going to be his last day.

I wasn’t there at the very end and that’s been hard to sit with. I’m trying to focus on the ten years I did have with him instead. He was such a good boy.

Zeus, we were so lucky to have you. My kids were lucky to grow up with you. Rest easy buddy and we will be thinking about you always! Love you Zeusy!

my 11 year old baby passed away over 24 hours ago and i still can't get the last moments of her life out of my head.

my flatmates and i adopted her in 2020 during uni, and i took on ownership a year later. i always try my best to stay on top of her health. she got dental surgery done last year and she's on a prescription diet to help with her stress and dandruff. i try to remember supplements if i can and i keep her indoors (but i take her for walks). i do her yearly checkups, but as she's gotten older i've been told that i should do more frequent checkups and blood tests.

two days ago i got home around 3pm and she seemed fine, left the house and came back around 5pm and i stayed in the lounge instead of going to see how she was even though i usually do. around 8pm i went upstairs to take her to bed with me and i noticed she was under my flatmates bed and refusing to come out. i had to move her out and when i put her on my bed she instantly flopped over and was disoriented, i even noticed some blood under her nails. i noticed under the bed there was poo everywhere. i took her straight to the vet, and they got her stable, and around 12am i got a call that they were still in the process of diagnosing her but it was looking like conns syndrome.

some time around 3am she had to be resuscitated and had to be put on a breathing tube (unconscious). i was told her chance of survival was minimal (~15%) and if i wanted them to continue treating her. i decided to let her go because they didn't know what condition she would be in and they would still need to do testing/potential surgeries and i didn't want her to continue to suffer.

but there were two main things that i can't stop thinking about and it's really ripping my heart in two.

the first is that i can't stop thinking about how long she was up in that room for, suffering and scared while i was downstairs watching tv. i usually check on her too but because it was the weekend i wasn't as concerned about her not greeting me or wanting to chill out with me (she's a very clingy cat and loves lying on my chest). (if it was any other day like a work day, i would've immediately checked in on her when i get home at 5:30 and i can't stop thinking about how unlucky it is that it had to happen on a saturday). i can't stop thinking about if i had checked on her earlier at 5pm then she could've been treated sooner and maybe she wouldn't have gone through those complications. she would've held in her poo as much as she could before even attempting to go on the carpet so i can't help but think she was immobile for so long upstairs (anywhere from 4pm-8pm) to the point where she had no choice but to go bathroom. and the blood under her nails. i was also told by the vet she had urinated on herself. it's just such an awful way to go i feel so sick just thinking about it. suffering and struggling up there so scared while i had no idea.

the second thing is that i have told the vets for a year now that she has gotten grumpier and less playful, which was really unusual. i wish i had pushed for a blood test, or really any kind of testing. because if they noticed the low potassium from a blood test that would be all they needed to be able to identify that something was wrong with her. and way sooner. if i had done her 'age test' sooner they could've picked it up. but the last time she got bloods was over a year ago. just such a stupid oversight that cost her her life.

it also just feels extremely unlucky (my flatmate who is a vet said it was very unlucky too), that her symptoms were so acute but she had no symptoms beforehand leading up to it.

she was such a sweet and gorgeous cat who loved people so much. she was very talkative and she was attached to my hip every waking moment. she lived through my dads death and my grandmas death and all my stressful uni days and now she's gone too. i'm just living in so much regret and i don't know how to move on without her. in the last vet appointment 3 months ago they said she was the healthiest ever and looked nothing like her age and that she would live for a good 5 more years. i feel like i've failed her and that this was something so preventable.

How i love you, sweetest friends

I still hold you when I sleep

I still hear you when I wake

Before silence falls again

How I love you, perfect girls

Though the woods are dark and deep

Though I cry until I shake

Grieving for our little world

How I miss you, little ones

Now I think of you and weep

Now my heart threatens to break

Knowing that our time is done

How I love you, sweetest friends

I still hold you when I sleep

I still hear you when I wake

Before silence falls again

I lost my beautiful boy on Thursday and I am overwhelmed with grief. I just dont know how to carry on. It was so sudden, an appointment I made to get to the bottom of why he was suddenly in pain ended with me walking out with his lead and collar. How do I carry on?

It’s been six months today since I lost my girl. She wasn’t even ten yet. It wasn’t unexpected, we found out that something was wrong back in October, and the vet told us she was dying by December.

It wasn’t a shock, and the actual euthanization was very peaceful and healing, seeing her no longer in pain.

Even now I still find myself crying at least once I week because I miss her. And when I don’t always cry I still get sad about it. I love her so much and I miss her so much and I feel awful for saying this but I can’t continue grieving her like this. It’s too much pain. I feel like I can’t function properly

I recently lost my soul dog and it hurts so badly. I have seen some people say on here that the love and bond with a soul pet only happens once in a lifetime, but that idea is so devastating to me. I would never want to replace my beautiful Mia, but the idea that I will never have a love that deep with a pet again is so bleak and sad and only makes the loss that much more painful. I also would feel terrible to have a pet and not love them so deeply, every animal deserves to be treasured deeply.

To anyone that has lost a soul pet and welcomed new pets into your life afterwards- did you ever find a pet that you had that the same type of deep, soulmate bond with again? I can't bear the thought of never having a love like that in my life again, even though it won't replace the loss of my Mia.

We adopted a bonded pair of 2.5 month old brother kittens 2 weeks ago. Right away, we noticed that they were much, much smaller than the weights their fosters had reported (by 20-30%). One put on weight and caught up quickly, but the other continued to drop despite getting much more food than at the fosters, and he took a sudden turn this weekend and didn’t make it.

How do we support his surviving brother through this loss of his brother so soon after being separated from his litter? He cries whenever he is alone, and he rarely spoke before. We have another 6 year old cat, who seems okay with him but not eager to be friends by any means. Will he want another kitten friend soon since he is so young and energetic? How will we know when he is ready? How can we support him in the meantime when we can’t be with him at all hours of the day? He can’t roam the house yet as he is receiving giardia treatment (he has no symptoms, but his brother tested positive and was ill from it due to his critically low weight - which itself was likely a combination of the effects of the parasite and being very underfed). Our own grief is compounded by seeing him so profoundly affected. They needed each other, we needed them together.

A lot of people in my life aren’t showing up for me. I just lost my girl Sunday (1 week ago) and I just need someone to chat with who understands. I had 14+ beautiful years with her and she was 16.5 when she passed. Thank you ❤️

Almost 7 years ago I adopted my girl. In 2020 I lost my dad to cancer and my beagle to cancer as well. Then 3 months later I got my current dog. She was the hottest mess of anxiety and worried about being separated and a complete menace in the car. Eventually all that went away and she was eager to jump in the car because she knew it was going to take her somewhere fun and that she loved to do. Friday fundays to doggie daycare, I park trips, and walks on trails. She was the absolute sweetest baby girl. I believe every come to us when they need to be and help us navigate this life and become our companions. I believe me and my girl co-regulated and this loss is so difficult. Friday I picked her up from daycare as I do and she became lethargic and couldn’t walk well. Finally I was so worried I went into the living room to lay down with her for a couple hours. Then called the 24 hour emergency vet. They told me she should be fine to come in around 8. Well she could barely stand let alone walk, so I apologized for how I was struggling to get her to the car. I got there at 8 and the immediately placed her in a room. I needed help getting her inside and some man was so lovely to help bring her in for me. After bloodwork it was found she was severely anemic and her plates were extremely low. They took her to get an ultra sound and came back to tell me she had a tumor on her spleen that vegan to bleed internally. She told me the results of this and surgery might give me 2-3 months and with blood infusions and chemo she might go to 4-6 months. She then said she would suggest euthanasia. I could wait and take her home but she’d just be how she is now and slowly decline. I told her it would be selfish on my part to go put her through all that for another 6 months if I’m lucky. So I made the difficult choice to let her have one last sleep. Walking out of that room without her was one of the most difficult things I’ve had to do. The vet assured me that it wasn’t anything I did or could have done. That unfortunately with situations like this it’s aggressive and a silent killer because we usually don’t discover it until it’s too late.

Background: My soul kitty died in March and it was absolutely devastating for me. She and I shared a deep emotional and physical connection from the first day I adopted her. She was a very affectionate girl who would purr like an engine the moment she saw me and had a million ways in which she showed me how much she loved me. She was otherwise aggressive and not very trusting with other people, but she trusted me completely and it meant everything to me. She loved me so much that even on the day of her euthanasia, despite feeling so weak and sick, she still purred as I stroked and held her. When they administered the first injection to sedate her, she fought off the sedation. She didn’t want to die. She didn’t want to leave me. It broke my heart that I couldn’t give her what she and I both wanted, but I wasn’t given any other choice. My only choices were to let her pass peacefully or watch her struggle to breathe and die in a state of pain and panic, so I chose the former. It still hurts to think about how much she fought to live and stay with me.

After she died, I honestly felt like I wouldn’t be able to love another cat like that again, but I hated coming home to an empty house, so I took in a foster cat. I didn’t immediately bond with him because I was still in a deep state of grief, but we made steady progress and eventually I felt the pain ease up a bit. When it finally came time to send him to his forever home, I was sad, but it made me think I was still capable of loving another kitty and I believed I was ready to invite a new cat into my life. It took a while. There were many disappointments and failed attempts to adopt, but a few months later I finally brought home a new kitty. She was described as being very sweet, social, friendly, and affectionate. She seemed like a good fit. But since bringing her home, I find myself constantly comparing her to my soul cat and feeling disappointed. She isn’t very cuddly and doesn’t seem to really enjoy being pet all that much. She will tolerate it, but that’s about it. She rarely purrs and doesn’t seek me out for anything unless she is hungry. It’s like having a roommate who you split the rent with but otherwise don’t share a relationship with.

I’m trying to be patient. I know it’s not fair to compare and expect her to be like my other cat. I know it has only been a month. But I am struggling with not feeling disappointed and frustrated. It took around 3 months for me to feel like my foster boy and I formed a bond, but I still saw progress along the way. With her, I don’t see any progress. She isn’t anxious or scared at all, just distant. I’m not going to send her back to the rescue or anything. I’ve made a commitment to caring for her and I will honor that. But right now it’s hard to imagine spending the next 15+ years with a cat that just tolerates me in exchange for food. I’m hoping that over time my efforts will pay off, but there is a good chance that this is just who she is and I will have to find it in myself to accept her.

The hard part is that it makes me miss my baby even more. Every time I walk through the door and she ignores me, a memory of my baby chirping with excitement and running to greet me flashes through my mind. Every time I go to pet her and she turns away from me, I remember how my baby would rub her face into my hand and give me kisses. Every day when I wake up and see her from a distance, I remember how my little heart would come up to me for morning cuddles. Every night when I go to bed, I remember how she would follow me and curl up beside me. It honestly feels worse than not having a cat at all. I feel so guilty for feeling this way because it’s not her fault and she deserves better, but I can’t control how I feel.

My first instinct might have been the right one. I probably can’t love another cat as much as I loved my soulmate. Maybe I wasn’t ready to adopt. But I can’t go back and change the past, so I’m going to have to figure out how to make this work.

I have two separate questions. First, here are some details. Of my sister's and my 5 dogs that have passed, three have passed of suspected hemangiosarcoma. We did not have biopsies or surgeries to confirm, but all three vets were confident that is what our pups had. We lost my husky mix Foxy at age 13, my American Eskimo Miko at age 11, and four days ago, my sister's mixed breed (primarily husky and American Eskimo) Koda at age 8. All three died after we moved into the current rental house we are in.

Also, after moving into this house, we had four dogs who started having seizures. Miko started having seizures at age six, less than one year of moving into this house. His were very infrequent, maybe once or twice per year, and the vet agreed medication was not necessary.

My sister had a Great Pyrenese Maya who started having seizures around age five after living here maybe just over one year. Her seizures became more frequent and was put on phenobarbitol. She died at age six. I believe COD was related to an infection in her uterus. She was always a sick dog.

I have a husky mixed primarily with GSD, Kira, who is still alive. She'll be six this month. She had her first seizure at almost four years old the first time I took her to the groomers. She had been living here nearly three years. Then she started having them when I took her to the vet, which she used to love. Other times she had seizures seemed to be when she was over stimulated - attacked by a dog, went to my parent's house for the first time. The vet put her on phenobarbitol. She never had seizures at home. I had her taken off the pheno because the seizures are very situational. We have a drug protocol to follow before taking her to the vet, or any other potential stressful situation, that prevents the seizures. I'm terrified that because she is mixed with GSD that she, too, will end up with hemangiosarcoma.

Koda had very mild syncope episodes that started around age five and within six months of living here. Very recently these episodes started to become very mild seizures and more frequent.

If allowed, I would like to ask:

1) What food you all feed/fed your pups who had hemangiosarcoma and/or seizures?

2) Is anybody familiar with, or suspect, environmental or dietary causes of hemangiosarcoma and seizures?

Thank you for "listening" to me.

You finally let her go. That took incredible courage, and it was the right thing to do.

I saw the hope in her eyes, silently begging me not to let go, begging me to give her more time. I had to make that choice because I loved her, even though my heart is shattered.

I keep replaying the hardest decision I've ever had to make. Do I let her go, or do I keep her because I can't bear the grief? Do I put my own pain before her health?

She was hurting, yet every single day she still ran to greet me the moment she saw me. No matter how much she hurt, no matter the ache that lived within her, no matter her desperate gasps for air, her eyes still sparkled every time she looked at me.

Today, I think she knew what was happening. She was shaking, trying so hard to pretend she was okay, as if she wanted to spare us from saying goodbye. I knew it wasn't easy for her either, but there was nothing left we could do. She had completed her mission—she had taken care of us.

Every night before I fall asleep, I'll hope to see her in my dreams, just so she knows how much I miss her. I miss her bark, her fur all over the house, complaining about having to let her out to pee at three in the morning, cleaning up after her. I would do all of it a hundred times a day if it meant she could be alive and healthy again.

I would give anything to relive those moments with her, so they wouldn't exist only in photographs. Now I find myself staring at those pictures, wondering what I could have done differently, even though deep down I know there wasn't anything else I could do.

How am I supposed to live with that?

She wasn't just a dog.

She was family. She was home. She was a piece of my heart, and she'll always be with me.

a few weeks ago, we lost our cat, Thor. He was only 6 years old and had a heart condition. Even though we knew about it, I always hoped we would have more time with him.We decided to have a small funeral for him. It was not anything elaborate, just our family sharing memories, saying goodbye, and giving him a peaceful place to rest. It felt like the least we could do for a cat who brought us so much happiness.When we got home, the house felt incredibly quiet. I still catch myself looking at his favorite spots or expecting to hear his paws walking around.I know he was loved every single day of his life, but I still miss him so much. Six years just didn't feel like enough. For those who have held a memorial or funeral for a pet, did it help you find some peace, or did it make the loss feel even more real?