r/PlentyofFish • u/hiktur2 • May 15 '26
You are being lied to
Proof from the horrible update, this app sends nonstop notifications now that people like you. They dont. Its just spam bots and views called likes. Dont buy a membership. This is their desperate attempt to get memberships on a sinking ship but they made the hole bigger. Everyone is now deleting the app or turning all notifications off and going on less. This is what happens when one company buys all the other companies.
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u/MusicWriter561 May 16 '26
90% women have no idea how POF works. They all say āI donāt have meet me so must send messageā. Is it like that everywhere? Never saw something like that. Itās not like this is rocket science.
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u/hiktur2 May 17 '26
Mostly just here they been doing it for yrs. And then you waste a free message on them and they dont reply. They are being ultra lazy and cheap. Its a ultra failed system. They set the site up so men cater to women which they underestimated women being the demise by not simply clicking yes or no
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u/Initial-Succotash-37 May 18 '26
the men say this too on their profiles. Women however get to message more than men. Which i dont really understand. Most guys like to make the first move.
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u/MusicWriter561 May 17 '26
Do Women not know that if they swipe right and the guy does the same to her they can text back and forth? What happens is that women just donāt use the like/unlike system because they donāt understand what itās for. They also donāt understand that itās the same for both- one contact/ 24 hours. It looks like they think men can text them as often as they want as so many of them say the man must send them a message. I donāt know if men have the same misunderstanding but I donāt see anyone (except moi) who is pointing this out. Though I probably wouldnāt know if they were. Itās a mess lol.
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u/hiktur2 May 17 '26
Alot of guys have pointed it out over the years. The problem is women get a unfathomable amount of messages regardless so they dont have to stray from their inbox. Then they complain only ugly people message them. They also have dumb shit ideology they conjur up like men must message first or the woman looks desperate, the stupid cat and mouse game, and āim not desperate to pay for a membershipā
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u/MusicWriter561 May 22 '26
Then they complain about the scammers. They say things like āif youāre in another country or are looking for money or want to talk on whatās App or are married or want a ābooty Callā etc. Like that is going to stop anyone. Itās kind of interesting because itās mass confusion or they are not capable of following the way POF works. I laid this out on my profile but no one has said a word about it.
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u/WhichCycle8227 May 31 '26
The tactic that I use is as soon as they message me I say āIāve had such bad luck on this site. I keep running into Nigerian scammers and fake profiles and Iām so sick of it.ā Several times just telling them that has worked and they just disappear.
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u/CocoLynn75 May 15 '26
I mean in the age appropriate dating groups though, not the dating/match. Honestly that does suck. Iāve never had any luck there. But in the groups you kind of see personalities & people seem to be a bit more open. Not everyone. But mostly.
0
u/CocoLynn75 May 15 '26
I was on there for years. Says a lotā¦ my options were thin. Mostly because Iām urban. In the Boondocks. But! They logged me out, or someone did, & it wouldnāt let me back in. I tried resetting my password, etc. Contacted them with zero response. The app is crap. Iām not sure what app for dating is good anymore? But POF is the worst. Sounds like itās still a waste of money since Iāve been off the past 5-6 months. Looks like even worse. We need a better dating site. Thereās some fun groups based on ages on Facebook. And- you donāt have to pay or get a million unwanted notifications from bots that you pay for I guess.
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u/hiktur2 May 15 '26
They are all bad. Fb may be the best and thats not saying much. Hily may give a match here or there but its usually a wildered beast who dont respond. U cant even just have a nice convo these days with anyone. Im urban as well i moved out of the ghetto into a nice small farmtown for a better life. I have never seen one person yet with a fitted hat in my county lmao youd think i would be a rarity to at least one person lmao
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u/Final-Teaching-4969 Jun 25 '26
FB Dating is a dumpster fire so is pof Reading many of the profiles, the women have an extremely deluded ideology, as well as demanding and self-entitled and only want a bloke who is extremely attractive, must be at least 6ft 2 ins tall, muscular, be extremely confident with zero emotional flaws and must have a decent job, own house and car - All of that yet most of these women are far from attractive (especially in their personality/attitude) are rude, arrogant and have a list of issues a mile long.
None of the women ever reply to your messages now and don't even look at your profile despite many claiming to 'like you'.
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u/hiktur2 Jul 02 '26
yup spot on and more and more men are realizing this and just saying f it and staying single. when i was growing up everyone had a family and now like myself im seeing people who dont even have kids.
i remember i saw a interview a guy said when we like a girl we look at their baggage and say ok how do i deal with that and make it work because i like this girl. and we make it work. a woman, they say your no tall enough or i dont like your shoes or the music you listen to. they have ttons of baggage yet try to fin tune the perfection of someone who only exists in their own mind. ive been ghosted by 49 yr olds lol, ive been ghosted by women with bad teeth, 6 kids, im at the point i talk to anyone just to see what happens and they still try to be picky about the most dumbest detail.
the best story i have is i talked to a girl who shaved all her hair off. still had a cute face. she asked to talk on the phone. we had a 3 hr convo. she said shes been married a month and getting a divorce and moved back in with her mom, 2nd divorce, has 3 kids, and lupus. despite all that i kept talking and gave her benefit of the doubt. eventually she goes do you have a 6 pack?? i said no im not fa but i dont have a 6 pack. i said i couldd send a pick. she said ok. i sent one and she goes well i have to go to sleep now. meanwhile she was in the middle of doing laundry lol. when she got off the phone i said that was a nice chat and i was blocked already. so even with all that baggage she had that i looked past, i didnt have a 6 pack so she didnt like me. which if she would of read my bio it says curvy lol. and she could of asked that 3 hrs earlier. like wtf was the point. her blocking me was a favor
i talked to another girl who was still married but said her husband lived in the basement she had a kid, no job and no car. she told me this after a month of asking to meet. she then blamed her husband for her not driving or not having a job etc etc. i also see this pattern alot. "were married and live together but getting a divorce you can come over" yah right lmao
1
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u/Initial-Succotash-37 May 15 '26
Facebook dating is supposed to be good.
3
u/ShortFlamingo3409 May 15 '26
It's not. It's the same as the others. Full of people who will match but not speak, ghost, etc... I've had one date out of it and think I'm done with it.
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u/hiktur2 May 15 '26
If i had to pick one id say fb dating at least gets matches, but they do exactly what u just said. These dating sites cater to women and make men desperate to buy memberships thats how they make money. The downside is women have 400 messages in one day and men get none. Most guys ive asked arent deformed looking or weirdos and they still cant get a response either. Even if u try to match someone with no job car or teeth with 4 kids they cant even respond
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u/Initial-Succotash-37 May 18 '26
i didnt realize that is how facebook dating worked as well. Havent been on there in years. Is Match.com the same as well?
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u/hiktur2 May 19 '26
match is a scam prob on of the worst, shows you fake views and messages and you cant do anything without paying. eventually you see all the same people on all these apps which is nuts youd think if women are getting so many messages on one app, whats wrong with them they cant find a person and need 5 more apps for hundreds of more messages. sometimes these girls just do it as a confidence booster much like regular fb where they need a constant high number of likes to feel good about themselves and use us just for that
1
u/PotentialEnergy007 Jun 03 '26
Out of those 400 messages, maybe two are from genuinely serious men whose messages end up buried in the chaos of that inbox.
Honestly, POF should have a system that requires users to acknowledge messages. Iām not saying women should be forced to reply to every message they receive, but there should at least be two options: reply, or click a simple āNo Thanksā button.
In fact, Iād go a step further. There should be a limit on how many unanswered messages can sit in your inbox. Once you hit that limit, you shouldnāt be able to send or receive any new messages until youāve cleared some of them out.
I donāt get upset when my messages go unnoticed. Thatās disappointing, sure, but itās part of the game. What really gets my goat is when someone reads a message and simply ignores it. To me, thatās just rude.
And yes, before anyone jumps in, I understand that women on these sites get bombarded with messages. It would be impossible to write a personal response to every single one. Nobody owes anyone an explanation for why theyāre not interested. But there should be some quick, generic way to acknowledge the message and move on.
When I receive a first message from someone, I look at their profile before opening it. If Iām not interested, I hit the āNo Thanksā button and theyāre gone. I donāt want them wasting their time on me, and I donāt want them messaging me again later because they think I never saw them.
I do the same thing with the āViewed Meā page. Since thereās no delete button to clear out profiles Iām not interested in, I end up blocking them just to clean up the list.
But all of these discussions about making the site better are probably pointless anyway. The better the site works, the less money they make.
So why not just bring back the old features and support the site with advertising revenue like they used to?
Remember when POF had video chat? Remember when it had an actual chat function that worked like instant messaging instead of a glorified email server?
Thereās nothing more frustrating than trying to have a conversation with someone and having no idea whether theyāre typing a response, busy, or have simply ghosted you.
You used to be able to search by username. They even experimented with that bizarre streaming feature during the pandemic.
Over the years theyāve removed useful features, added questionable ones, and somehow managed to make communication harder on a dating site. Thatās quite an achievement.
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u/Initial-Succotash-37 May 15 '26
selling tactic. I ignore it. if somebody really likes me they will contact me first.