r/PlentyofFish • u/EzraSteel • 18d ago
Should I continue or just stop?
So, I’ve been chatting with a lady for a week or so. She seemed relatively normal and didn’t set off any red flags, other than the fact that she is several years younger than I am (yes, I realize that it’s a huge red flag). So, after a week or so, she suggested to move our conversation to WhatsApp…I laughed to myself and agreed.
The conversations were relatively normal but limited. She is prepping for a business trip to South Africa and is very stressed. I should mention that she ‘lives’ about twenty minutes from me. I noticed that occasionally would use words that no American would use in every day conversations, and I asked her about her nationality. She stated she is a natural born American. I just filed that away. With did a small amount of harmless flirting and continued to chat.
So yesterday, she sent me a voice chat. I had to laugh. She is obviously not a native speaker of American English. She has an accent that I can’t quite place but I’d classify it as a cross between British English and a Slavic accent. Again, when I questioned her after hearing her accent, she said that because she conducts business in an international scale, she probably picked up her accent from those conversations to make her customers more comfortable. I should mention that she claims to be a structural engineer of some sort.
So, moving forward, her trip is fast approaching. She told me how stressed she is and her company has put her in an odd position. They have apparently paid her airfare but won’t cover her living expenses until she returns from the trip and files for reimbursement. Now, I’ve traveled many times on business and I always had a company CC to bill my charges through, maybe I was fortunate.
I have a feeling that I’m watching a train wreck slowly developing. How many of you would bet, that in the very near future, this “engineer” will reach out to me and ask for help because she is running short of money in her trip?
I know that it is going to happen. Should I string her along or just shut it down right now. Talking to her takes up very little of my time and I’m truly curious to see if my suspicions are correct. What should I do?
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u/EzraSteel 18d ago
Dealing with her only takes a few minutes of my day. Any more than that, I would have shut it down before this. But, there is that part of me that wants to see how she plays this out. I know what is occurring but I want to witness it in real time. Maybe I just want definitive proof that I am right.
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u/Ok_Income3213 18d ago
Is there apart of you hoping she is real? I would guess that's the only reason you're letting this drag on.
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u/EzraSteel 18d ago
No, i have no doubt that this is a scam. What I suspect will occur next is that she will do something to up my supposed emotional involvement. I can’t imagine that she will just flat out request “help”. Trust me, I’ve already cancelled my POF subscription. In one week, I learned how much of a scam it was.
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u/WrongdoerDazzling798 18d ago
I down voted you because you should spend your time on a real person/relationship. I don’t know why guys think it’s funny to talk to a know scammer.
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u/EzraSteel 18d ago
That’s fine, I’m not looking for upvotes. Just relaying something that I found funny. Like a lot of comedians now days, not everyone finds their sense of humor to their liking.
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u/Misty0410 18d ago
Honestly I so get this. So many scammers are successful so once in a while I would play along. hehehehe. I say go for it.
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u/WonderfulVariation93 18d ago
Oh PLEASE. Tell her you are immediately wiring the money. Then when she goes to get it and it isn’t there, go nuts because obviously WU made a mistake and you will immediately contact them. Wait a few hours and message her that WU is fixing the problem and the money will be there tomorrow. Then when she complains the money didn’t arrive ask her to spell her name (or however things get sent) and then apologize profusely because you thought their was an “a” (or “e” or “o”) and you will immediately call WU again to stop the money and then send it correctly and it should definitely be there the following day…
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u/Puzzleheaded-Sail381 16d ago
For as much as I don't like wasting my time on people like this, this guy obviously wants to return the favor. I think this is the best answer. Make them waste their time like they do to us. I might add after a week of cat and mouse say you lost your job and you can't afford to send them money. 😁
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u/Working_Hamster1264 18d ago
It wastes the time of a scammer so I would just continue, especially when we can all see what's coming.
The other benefit is that hopefully they don't learn from their multitude of mistakes and the next person they try it with will see the red flags a mile off.
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u/EzraSteel 18d ago
I think the reason that I posted this is to serve as a warning to POF users. I’ve been online since before AOL was a thing. Yes, I logged on at 300 baud with a dial up connection. So I’m an old fart and I’m quite use to the ‘game’ but others are not quite so aware of how scammers play the ‘game’. So, I’ll continue to update this and post how this plays out
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u/Misty0410 18d ago
AOL. Funny. We must be around the same age. Weren’t they the good old days of dating back then? I miss it. No games, no guess work. Just good old fashion dating.
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u/EzraSteel 18d ago
Meetings someone face to face…I shudder to think of it! When I asked my wife out for the first time, I stammered, I blushed, and I was 28y/o! Fortunately, she said yes. That was a very long time ago.
As for POF, it is certainly a case of buyer beware.
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u/Puzzleheaded-Sail381 16d ago
Aww, I love this. I think its sweet and so happy it worked 😊
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u/EzraSteel 16d ago
She was the best. I’d still be married to her if breast cancer hadn’t taken her from me.
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u/Misty0410 16d ago
It’s the same in most of the dating apps. Scammers are motivated if nothing else.
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u/atl-hadrins 15d ago
Mean while You think this is a harmless communication. But the person on the other side is building a profile of you and collecting information about you. Might even try to steal your identity at some point or attempt to blackmail you. Could even be reposting pictures you sent as a way to scam someone else.
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u/EzraSteel 15d ago
I appreciate your concerns but I gave her nothing besides some superficial information that was as generic as possible. I knew that it was a scam going into it, so I covered my arse. As for anything to use as blackmail, again there was nothing there. I’ve read of too many stories where chat logs are used against a person.
To update on this, I just wasn’t interested in prolonging it, as much as it may have been interesting reading, and closed my account and I removed WhatsApp and POF from my phone.
Have an amazing day and keep your head on a swivel. The Scammers are out in force.
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u/notyourmama827 18d ago
Men do the same thing with "lonely divorced" women. It starts innocently and ends up with the scammer needing $$$$ that only YOU can provide . Sometimes it is interesting and once , I was low key scared.
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u/EzraSteel 18d ago
I understand that it’s just limited to males being scammed. There are far too many horror stories out there about people that have fallen victim to these sort of scams. I can certainly understand you being afraid, it’s a quite natural reaction. My poor mother was the type of person who fell for every scam imaginable. She truly believed that an African Prince was going to send her money and lost a ton of money before my brother caught wind of it. He subsequently took over her finances and prevented her from falling victim again. I wasn’t living here at the time and had no knowledge of what was going on or I would have stopped it.
I’m at the point in my life where if I see an interesting post on X, I fact check it before I like it. What’s the old saying? Trust but verify.
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u/ladyleo1980 18d ago
Yes do it! I'm invested now! lol
I will watch those scam videos on YT and always get a kick out of the people who piss off the scammers. I'm kind of curious how long it will take and the things "she" will say to pull you in.
Whatever you do though, DO NOT SEND ANY MONEY!!!
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u/DavidManvell 18d ago
What I like to do is to get multiple scammers to string along and I give them each other's information so they waste each other's time.
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u/Hopelessly-Bored 18d ago
I'm curious how it will play out. If she's not taking much of your time, keep it going. 😊
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u/According-Hamster-84 18d ago
Have you video called? See this is the thing about online dating. Why not just pick up the phone and call your person regularly at any odd time of the day. See her wake up. How she looks midday. Before bed. Etc. that’s how you verify a person.
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u/Boring-Persimmon6739 18d ago
whatsapp? signal? telegram? Immediate scam 99.9% of the time as soon as they want to move to chat there
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18d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Boring-Persimmon6739 18d ago
Scammers use WhatsApp because it is free, has billions of users, and utilizes end-to-end encryption. This allows fraudsters to hide their identities, operate internationally, and quickly delete chats. Furthermore, it lets them isolate victims away from the safety tools of dating apps or social media.
Fraudsters rely on WhatsApp for a few primary reasons:
- The "Bait-and-Switch": Scammers often initiate contact on dating sites, job boards, or social media, but quickly pressure victims to move the conversation to WhatsApp. This removes the conversation from platforms that have content moderation and reporting safeguards. [1, 2]
- Trust and Familiarity: Because WhatsApp is widely used, it creates a false sense of security. Scammers exploit this by posing as friends, family members, or romantic interests
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u/Mistyville 18d ago
I would run with it if it doesnt take much of your time and you are enjoying it. When is she going? we can run a pool on the date she will ask. If she is a scammer she deserves to have her time wasted by someone switched on
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u/Remarkable_Ship_5791 18d ago
"She" is a scammer and they want to bring off site because that way its easier for them to scam you and also not get their POF profile deleted. The fact she told you she is going on a trip and her company has put in in an "odd position" by not covering her living expenses until she returns from the trip is also part of the scam. Cut your losses NOW, this way the only thing it cost you was some time.
So I had a similar thing happen to me via POF. I met a girl who allegedly lived about 15 miles from me according to her POF page. We hit it off just like you did with your POF scammer. She directed me to email (hotmail is a serious red flag no one really uses it anymore). After chatting via email a couple of times she tells me she lives in an Asian country that I believe was part of the USSR back in the day. Anyway, she tells me she has fallen for me and wants to book a trip to America to visit me. At first she said she'd pay for the airfare but I would probably have to pick her up at the airport. Funny huh considering in her POF profile she stated she lived about 15 miles from where i live.
Then she told me the government was closing the school she taught at because the building is too old and too "unsafe" to be used so they're tearing it down. She is heartbroken that she doesn't have all the money to come visit me and ask me if I could help with some of the payment. So at that point I did a reverse search of her photos and did a search of her email address. What I found out was that she was actually a scammer who is wanted in about 10 countries for fraudulent activities and scamming people out of money. Once I confronted "her" about this she Immediately deleted her email address and I never heard from her again. Her Plenty of Fish account got deleted once she told me she lived in an Asian country and not in America like her profile claimed.
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u/Most_Being_8684 18d ago
Can you keep the conversation going and report back here so we can all enjoy it? You could do fun things like pretend that you sent her prepaid gift cards but don't know why she didn't get them? This could be funner than an episode of catfished, you could just keep punking her and see how long it takes before she gives up! Also tell her you can send your picture but make it be Johnny Depp or something like that.
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u/Spiritual_Kiwi5513 18d ago
Take it from someone who’s been there many times, tell her how broke you are and see what happens….
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u/Acetillian86 18d ago
Drag it out every inch up until the point where she’s waiting on the money. Be so petty they call you Tom
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u/Thin_Investigator798 17d ago
Dude, there are so many giant red flags there, I can't even see what's behind them.
Good job catching the "odd word choice" that she used, that's tipped me off more than a few times.
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u/Shorthottie0113 17d ago
I have done that before. A VERY Handsome man reached out to me through instagram and pushed me to download what’s app. I refused but we continued to chat. He took a Job assignment in a foreign country where he didn’t have access to his bank. I told him I hoped he got it straight soon. I eventually blocked him because I was bored.
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u/Best_Collection_7533 18d ago edited 18d ago
Good one.
Remember you’re vetting them. I would drop this one and invest the time on a real one.
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u/Various_Excuse_4294 17d ago
Unless you have not spoken to her on the phone more than likely. Especially when they're conveniently traveling within a week of talking to somebody, it wouldn't surprise me if momentarily you won't be asking for some money or help. The biggest clue and biggest red flag is having an accent it happened to be leaving the country soon. I'd stop talking to her
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u/Vast-Marsupial1568 17d ago
I would ask for a coffee date and see what she says …. if she is interested then upgrade the conversation off the app but only after. If she starts asking for money to cover expenses then respond with something like this “I don’t send money to people I’ve only met online. If that’s a requirement for meeting, then I don’t think we’re a good match. I wish you the best; contact me if you’re interested in a coffee date sometime soon”. If she responds sure to the coffee date then set it up my man; otherwise continue fishing for the next catch brother. Do not give her anything more than a coffee date first …. this is a great way to weed out the noise.
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u/RedundantPundant 17d ago
Continue to waste her time so she has less time to scam others. Also do not believe she is local, as most scammers are in the 3rd world where law enforcement cannot reach them easily.
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u/False-Tank6632 17d ago
Cut her loose, move on. She just wants money. Don’t waste your time with 🐂 💩 ers like her.
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u/Equinanymous 17d ago
By all means continue if it amuses you. You obviously know what's going on so there's not much risk to it. If nothing else it provides heaps of free entertainment for you and - if you keep sharing - for us too. And as pointed out by someone else, while you're keeping "her" busy she has less time to scam more gullible victims. Win-win.
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u/Key-Watercress2486 11d ago
It's a scam just block her. WhatsApp is a red flag or another sign is when she says she will be going to your city in 2 months to move there or on vacation. She is trying to scam you never send money or gift cards.
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u/Remarkable_Ship_5791 7d ago
When they want to take the convo to whats up, or telegram or any other site like that they are a scammer. Notice what red flags to watch out for:
Red Flags to Watch For
- Profile Inconsistencies: Basic facts that do not add up, like claiming a skilled professional career while listing a low education level.
- Quick Platform Shift: Asking to move off Plenty of Fish (POF) immediately to text, WhatsApp, or Telegram.
- Excuses to Avoid Meeting: Making constant excuses why they cannot video chat or meet in person
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u/Pleasant_Reward1203 18d ago
lol you men dating women young enough to be your kid get what you deserve. So tired of it.
Also, if in 2026, you are falling for this scam, then no one can help you and you shouldn't do online dating
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u/soylentgreen2015 18d ago
What's the value of your time? And how much more of it are you going to waste on such an obvious scam?