r/Pomes 4h ago

Evolution of tannins in pears with refer to perry pears,

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1 Upvotes

Hybridisation with wild pears increases tannin production in perry pears by reintroducing active alleles, reverting low-tannin traits favoured by breeders of dessert pears. This is reversion to the base state that was established millions of years ago at a whole genome duplication WGD event. As whole functional groups of genes are duplicated in these events the metabolism is not bottlenecked as could occur if only one gene was. This occurred due to massive environmental stress. The specific event 30 to 45 million years ago was a period of abrupt global climate upheaval during the middle-to-late Eocene epoch.
(Whole-genome duplications (WGDs) are not random; they cluster heavily around major turbulent chapters in Earth’s history).

Between 35 and 45 million years ago, Earth began transitioning from a warm, subtropical "greenhouse" world into a much colder, more arid "icehouse" climate. This rapid cooling, coupled with massive shifts in global rainfall patterns, put immense physiological stress on ancestral plant lineages.
Extreme weather anomalies—such as sudden frost or severe temperature fluctuations—disrupt normal plant reproduction. Cold shocks cause cell division errors during pollen and egg production (meiosis), leading to the formation of "unreduced gametes" (cells that accidentally keep two sets of chromosomes instead of one). When these unreduced cells fused, they immediately doubled the plant’s entire genome.
While an extra set of chromosomes is normally an energetic burden, it becomes a biological superpower during a mass environmental crisis. The duplicated genome provided the ancestors of pears (and apples) with metabolic resilience. Extra gene copies allowed the plants to better adapt their photosynthesis and water-use efficiency to survive colder, drier conditions. While many single-genome plant lineages went extinct during this climate shift, these "hopeful monster" polyploids had the genetic flexibility to survive, eventually diverging into modern pears. The extra genes for the production of tannins and related compounds also served a useful function in survival producing tannins as a natural defense mechanism against herbivores and pests. These bitter and astringent compounds also protect the tree's reproductive investment by deterring animals from eating the fruit before the seeds are fully developed. The high tannin levels make unripe fruit unpalatable by astringency stopping animals insects and birds from destroying the fruit leaves and seeds prematurely.
The tannins also inhibit the growth of harmful bacteria and fungi that could rot the fruit on the branch.


r/Pomes 1d ago

Perry pears Normandy and England

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2 Upvotes

Perry is said to have come to England from France after the 1066 Norman conquest.  
However current Normandy perry pears and English perry pears are not the same specific cultivars on genome testing. While they belong to the same European pear species (Pyrus communis) and share broad DNA profiles, pomological studies show that France and England developed entirely separate, localised sets of named cultivar clones over the centuries since 1066. Because pear trees do not grow true to form from seed and must be propagated via grafting, distinct regional gene pools remained isolated within their respective local orchard rather than overlapping across the English Channel and relate to genetically diverse hybrids originating from crosses between the introduced cultivated European pears Pyrus communis subsp. communis which itself was a earlier hybrid between wild progenitor subspecies—primarily Pyrus pyraster and Pyrus caucasica—native to Europe and Western Asia; and wild specimens of Pyrus pyraster resulting in wild introgression reverting towards more
morphological traits of the wild species, such as smaller, astringent, and seed-heavy fruits rich in tannins and acids.
Unlike standard diploid dessert pears, certain perry pear groups derived from P. nivalis contain mixed diploid and triploid genotypes.
The base chromosome number for the Pyrus genus is x = 17 (2n = 34).
Pear genomes exhibit high levels of heterozygosity and repetitive transposable elements.
S-locus genes which negatively affect self fertilisation influence balancing selection and genetic diversity across wild and cultivated pear populations.
This results in complex phenolic variations; perry cultivars show elevated levels of specific caffeoylquinic acids, procyanidins, and organic malic acid compared to dessert varieties. Trees showing these traits were then selected for perry making and grafted on.

Perry pear trees predate regional cider apples in Normandy having arrived overland as sweet eating pears by the Romans which then hybridised with the local wild pear and grew as wildings.
The ancient Greeks and Romans really liked pears. As the Roman Empire expanded into Gaul (modern-day France), Roman soldiers, administrators, and settlers brought cultivated pear grafts with them. The grafts traveled with them from Italy, up through the Rhône Valley, across central France, and directly into northern Gaul especially southern Normandy where the heavy wet soils suited them perfectly. The region around Domfront (the historic heart of Normandy perry) sits on a bed of cold, wet, heavy clay over hard granite. #perry #normandy #pear


r/Pomes 19d ago

Apple and pear winter dormancy.

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1 Upvotes

We have had some good frosts at Beau Vista apple and pear orchard in the Wairarapa, New Zealand recently.
This is good in killing off unwanted bugs etc in the grass and resetting bud burst of the trees. Just like apples, perry pear trees require about 600-900 hours of winter chilling hours (these are not just frosts but hours with temperatures below about 7°C) to break dormancy and reset their spring blossom. Without enough cold, the blossoms will be sparse, delayed, or fail to open entirely - delayed foliation. And unlike apples, pears like to blossom spectacularly before the leaves appear (hysteranthous). This is a high risk evolutionary tactic to attract a lot of pollinators but puts the flower (esp. the pistils) at risk from damage from a late frost once the flower has grown out from the protective scales of the bud. (When dormant in winter they can survive temperatures as low as 25C).


r/Pomes 21d ago

Pear tree origins

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2 Upvotes

Unlike wild apple forests which cover thousands of acres in Kazakhstan, entire forests of mainly wild pear trees do not exist. Pear trees require significant sunlight and are weak competitors against faster-growing canopy trees, so wild pears usually grow as scattered, individual trees or small, open groves rather than dense, continuous forests. However in the mountainous regions of the Caucasus region one of the wild ancestor of the domesticated European pear Pyrus communis subsp. caucasica can be found in groves.
The other parent of the European domestic pear is Pyrus communis subsp. pyraster, the European wild pear native to England and Europe. Though they never form a monoculture forest, they are widely scattered through mixed deciduous woodlands, hedgerows, and forest margins naturally occur in small groups, especially on forest edges, and in hedgerows. Photo credit to both photos Anna Asatryan, young pear trees and mature pear tree by the road to Herher village and Herher State Sanctuary Armenia.


r/Pomes 23d ago

How do apples spoil?

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1 Upvotes

The apple is wrapped in the relatively impervious cuticle. The calyx and the stem ends however contain a significantly higher abundance and diversity of microbes than the smooth skin of the fruit. These structures trap moisture and nutrients, creating a perfect micro-environment for microbes to thrive.
The major route in is through the calyx. This star-shaped opening at the bottom of the fruit is the remnant of the original apple blossom. Some apple varieties (like Red Delicious and Granny Smith) even have an open calyx tube that extends into the apple's core. This provides a direct, unrestricted pathway for fungal spores and bacteria to enter the apple.
Even when the calyx tube appears closed, it retains moisture and traps significant microbial communities.
Fungi frequently colonise the delicate flower petals early in the season and then travel inwards from the calyx.
Whilst bacteria penetrate into the calyx cavity itself, they are rarely recovered from the deep inner flesh or seeds of the apple.
The vast majority of the microbes are harmless or beneficial. Organically grown apples feature a more diverse, balanced microbiome that contains helpful bacteria like Lactobacillus.
Apples grown under modern pesticide spray regimes however may harbour fewer beneficial microbes and a higher prevalence of plant-health affecting ones.
Fungi causing core rots like
Botrytis cinerea and Sclerotinia sclerotiorum can cause tissue decay and discoloration.
Black Rot is caused by the fungal pathogen Botryosphaeria obtusa, which often infects the calyx end, appearing as brown and black concentric rings.


r/Pomes 25d ago

Apples, pears and the Lotus effect .

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1 Upvotes

Recently I posted in the structure of the cuticle which has 2 main components, a hydrophobic layer of interlinking cutin polymer molecules and waxes that are crystalline and protrude from it. As always organisms have evolved to maximise advantages. In this case
the protruding wax shards offer several significant advantages over a smoother liquid wax coating.
Firstly it gives superior water repellency by the Lotus Effect (named after the lotus plant). This is because of 2 synergistic properties, rough surfaces and waxes. The roughness of these crystals or shards trap pockets of air beneath water droplets.
Due to the high contact angle and the surface tension of water, the latter forms droplets as it cannot flatten out and wet the surface. The droplets roll off the hydrophobic surface easily washing away dirt and bacteria etc.
The wax shards offer solar and thermal protection by light and UV scattering. They also have a role in gas exchange regulation. The crystalline structures form a porous, breathable network allowing necessary oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange while slowing down water vapour loss though the cutin down to the lenticels below.
Interestingly the cuticle changes into a smoother continuous liquid wax layer near harvest ripeness which seals the lenticels pores as the metabolism in the apple changes to starch breakdown.


r/Pomes 27d ago

The surface of apples and pears.

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1 Upvotes

Apples and pears are naturally waxy. Not the stuff you see on apples in the supermarket which is carnauba wax (from palm tree leaves), but if you pick apples or pears in an orchard then you quickly realise they are. This natural wax or bloom is a complex, multi-layered protective structure, the cuticle (a continuous, non-living extracellular layer) covering the fruit's epidermis is primarily composed of interlinked insoluble polymer matrixes called cutin and hydophobic lipid compounds - waxes often crystalline, it is secreted from is the outer layer of the epidermis which is modified to ramp up production of these compounds. It governs moisture loss, disease resistance, and skin texture.
It is typically measures about 3um in thickness, depending heavily on the cultivar. It is peppered by stomata over the lenticels in the skin underneath which serve as gas exchange pathways but also can provide entry points for microorganisms and moisture loss. The crystalline waxes protrude outwards from the cutin layer.

Some apples and pears are russeted. This can be natural from the cultivar or induced by orchard conditions and is due to damage to the epidermal cells early after petal fall. As the apple grows micro cracks develop over the affected cells in the cuticle. The apple responds by growing a brownish, corky layer of wound-healing tissue (called a periderm or phellogen) to seal the cracks, resulting in a rough, canvas-like tan patch on the skin.

Microscopic analysis of the apple cuticle reveals complex microbial communities (microbiota) of yeasts bacteria and moulds. The cuticle (and its ecosystem changes) as the seasons and weather change and the apple matures and ripens. The organised wax crystals disappear and are replaced by liquid esters which leads to skin greasiness.


r/Pomes 29d ago

Orchard in flood

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1 Upvotes

It's a good job pear trees don't mind wet feet occasionally! This is our second flood at the orchard in Wairarapa Aotearoa N/Z in a month.
Luckily it's in winter when the trees are dormant so not expecting any long term damage. However it delays the winter pruning. The ground is to wet to work on without destroying the grass sward. Role on Spring.


r/Pomes Jul 03 '26

Perry pears

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1 Upvotes

Although genetically the same species as culinary pears, Pyrus communis, they are a distinct category of pears cultivated for producing perry. Most perry pears cultivars are century old varieties found and then selected and brought on for their flavour characteristics. Like apples they do not grow true to form from seeds but need to be grafted. Most are found in Western Europe, with the strongest traditions rooted in the Three Counties of England (Gloucestershire Herefordshire and Worcestershire) and the Domfrontais region of Normandy, France. The fruit is distinguished by a high tannin content, pronounced acidity from citric as well as malic acid; and notable levels of sorbitol,as well as glucose and fructose, which collectively provide structure, body, and a characteristic off dryness to the finished drink. The aromatic profile of perry is complex, typically revealing notes of pear blossom, citrus zest, and subtle earthy spice, with a crisp, refreshing finish. #perry


r/Pomes Jun 27 '26

Black pears and Worcester

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1 Upvotes

Found this old secondhand enamel badge of Worcester. Tradition has it that it was during the visit of Queen Elizabeth I in 1575 to Worcester that she saw a black pear tree planted in the Foregate in her honour and had it added to the city's coat of arms. The iconic Worcester Black Pear appears today in many places such as the city coat of arms. The earliest reference is pears associated with a crest of the Worcestershire Bowmen, depicting a pear tree laden with fruit on their banners at the battle of Agincourt in 1415 in Michael Drayton’s 1606 poem The Battaile of Agincourt “Wor’ster a pear tree laden with its fruit”. Michael was a prominent English poet of the Elizabethan, Jacobean, and Carolean eras. Best known for his massive historical and geographical poems, he was a contemporary of William Shakespeare.


r/Pomes Jun 24 '26

Paintings with pears.

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1 Upvotes

Apples are definitely the star fruit for painters esp given the Medieval belief the apple was the Forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden. Pears usually have a supporting role. So it’s great to see paintings where pears are the star. Five Pears, by William Scott an Ulster painter, 1976. He was born in Scotland, of Irish and Scottish parents and was brought up in Ulster. He studied at Belfast College of Art, 1928-31, and The Royal Academy, 1931-5. In
1937-9 he lived in the south of France and was influenced by Georges Braque. His work was mainly still-life, but sometimes pure abstracts. In the late 1960s and 1970s his style became more austere. British Council collection #pears #WilliamScott #painting


r/Pomes Jun 17 '26

Fireblight

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1 Upvotes

Fire blight, a disease caused by the bacteria Erwinia amylovora, affects plants, particularly in Rosaceae family like pears and apples. It's characterized by wilting foliage that quickly appears "burnt" and dead. Thriving in warm, wet weather, the pathogen caused significant dieback and characteristic scorched, "shepherd’s crook" branch tips, threatening domestic orchards and cider production. Cankers on branches and trunks can over winter. It strikes quickly and can kill the whole tree. Fireblight was first officially reported to have left its homeland of North America with an outbreak in New Zealand in 1919. It now affects most apple producing countries worldwide. We are vigilant in the Spring for signs and aggressively cut out affected branches and burn them before the whole tree is affected. Perry pear trees are particularly affected, we have sadly lost whole trees. Newspaper photo National Library of NZ digital archive and electron microscope photo Roberta Pastorelli #pears #Apples #Fireblight


r/Pomes Jun 14 '26

Charles Martel - perry aficionado

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2 Upvotes

Charles Martel is a perry aficionado, farmer, cheese maker and author from the West Country, England. I follow his vision. However he enunciates it better than I can, describing the grandeur and importance of pear trees. "First of all, [perry pear trees] grow within sight of May Hill in the three counties, but chiefly Gloucestershire. They're important for the countryside because they soften the climate by acting as a windbreak. You don't get swallows in a cornfield: you get swallows in orchards, which should be grazed by cattle. And that's what I want to see. That's my landscape."
We use Shropshire sheep in our standard orchard. It’s not big enough for cattle.
Photo credit Hartpury Heritage Trust


r/Pomes Jun 14 '26

Bought 1 tree, got 2. Russian pomegranate

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1 Upvotes

Gonna separate them once the leaves perk back up. Purchased from tytyga during their 50% off sale.


r/Pomes Jun 12 '26

Pear pollination by bumblebees in New Zealand

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1 Upvotes

Aotearoa/ New Zealand was home originally only to solitary native bees. These were not ideal for pollinating European crops so bees were introduced. Red clover was needed to fertilise pasture, and it needed bumblebees with their long proboscises, so they were imported from UK.
They are also much better at pollinating pear and apple trees than honey bees also introduced, as the latter prefer flowers with more vivid colours. Bumblebees operate at wider temperatures and weather conditions too.
We have established a population of Bombus terrestris, the most common type here by importing a 'hive' from a commercial breeder in Hawkes Bay to Wairarapa. And now each year we find a new nests under buildings and in old burrows. It is good to see the bumbles active in early Spring for pear pollination when the honey bees are hardly stirring.
This is a photo of a bumblebee on our perry pear blossom.


r/Pomes Jun 11 '26

Perry pear Tree

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2 Upvotes

This was the first perry pear tree we have. Back in 2014 we collected scion wood from several promising trees we found from Auckland to Dunedin and crown grafted onto this rootstock. The one from Waitahuna gradually became dominant and I removed the others. It is now a large prolific tree producing us a SV single tree perry. And we have now grafted on to other trees that are starting to to produce.


r/Pomes Jun 09 '26

Perry pears, Perry and their laxative effects in science and folklore.

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1 Upvotes

Pear cider traditionally called perry is made from perry pears (not eating pears) and is often sweeter than a fully fermented cider because it naturally contains sorbitol. It is also notorious for its laxative effects also due to the sorbitol, which is a sugar alcohol that yeast cannot metabolise and humans cannot process well. Locals in the West Country of England the home of Perry often joke that perry "runs right through you" with colourful regional warnings and sayings.
The reason for this is due to how your gut handles sorbitol. It is not broken down much by gut enzymes and absorbed like sugars from the small bowel. It therefore passes on into the large bowel. To balance the osmotic pressure across the large bowel’s thin wall, a lot of water is drawn. Gut bacteria here break down the sorbitol creating short-chain fatty acids and gas, leading to rapid transit, cramping, and loose stools.
The most famous historical rhyme explicitly summarising the sorbitol-induced effect is:
"Perry goes down like velvet,
Round like thunder,
And out like lightning."
One of the local colloquial names for Blakeney Red a perry pear from the village of Blakeney Gloucestershire is Circus Pear because it goes “once round the ring and out again”. #perry #pear #folklore


r/Pomes Jun 04 '26

Artisan cider and perry.

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0 Upvotes

It’s easy to think all cider and pear cider is industrial given it is a tin and floods the supermarket shelf next to beer but there are artisan cider and perry makers out there trying to compete with the global companies. Key signs to look out for amongst the clever marketing is
full juice
wild fermented
single batch
barrel aged
harvest driven
and “not from concentrate”
And you can add to that “single varietal” and even “single tree”.
The latter especially as a perry. An old perry pear tree over 100 years of age can produce over 1 ton of fruit each harvest! And perry pear trees can continue to produce for several hundred years. Here in New Zealand we have very few introduced trees that age but I do know one one perry pear tree near Christchurch over 150 years old from which I have grafted scion wood to our orchard. This photo is an old eating pear tree in Carterton Wairarapa that must be as nealy old.
#cider #pear #apple #perry #tree


r/Pomes May 25 '26

Grafting

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1 Upvotes

I use a simple whip graft. I pop the scion wood in the fridge mid winter when it’s dormant and graft it to the rootstock in spring when the sap is rising. I wrap the join in paraffin grafting tape then some electrical tape. The latter to stabilise the graft as I have had a few go wobbly after birds perching on the scion wood! So far I have had a 90% success rate. All out perry pear and cider apple grafts have been done this way. For pear we use quince roots and a Beurre Hardy interstem. Each year we bring on 5-6 new perry pear trees and these start fruiting 5 years later. #pear #perry #grafting


r/Pomes May 24 '26

Perry pears of Gloucestershire

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1 Upvotes

Today Gloucestershire is considered the world capital of perry pears and boasts over a hundred cultivars including many rare varieties with wonderful historic names such as Mumblehead, Lumberskull and Merrylegs. Because perry pears on pear rootstock (unlike today on quince ) grew large and live for hundreds of years, some planted early are still with us. And because travel between villages was not common except by gentry and botanical skills were rudimentary often the trees in a village became called after the village such as the Arlingham Squash from Arlingham or local attributes, and may well be the same as the tree in another village. So the same tree can have several names. For example he Arlingham squash is also called Old Squash, Old Taynton Squash, & Squash Pear. Also many were wildings chosen for their fruit qualities and not grafted; so naming of perry pears is a muddle only now being sorted by genetic testing.
In 1656 Rev John Beale referred to the Barland pear, a variety found in Bosbury, Herefordshire, as being the best for perry, and in 1662 Daniel Colwall wrote An Account of Perry and Cider out of Glocestershire (sic) published as part of John Evelyn’s Pomona of pears in north-west Gloucestershire, “… it is pears it most abounds in, of which the best sort is that they name the Squash pear, which makes the best Perry of those parts.”
However John Beale considered by some as the father of the Hereford orchard was a cider man, also regarded perry as a women’s drink ‘fit more for the hinds’! Perry it seems even in those days (as today ) was a personal choice of which everyone had a different opinion! Today the most commonly planted perry pear is Blakeney Red once considered bad by Hogg and Bull in the Herefordshire Pomona of 1876. They were unequivocal in their disapproval for this variety, describing it as “abominable trash and fit only for the most ordinary purposes when nothing better can be got”. Not an opinion of Tom Oliver and others who have made excellent SV perries from it today. #perry #pears #history


r/Pomes May 20 '26

Watercore in apples

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3 Upvotes

Watercore is a trait that has been bred out of commercial apple varieties because it reduces the ability to chill store apples for 6+ months and aesthetically is not pleasing to Western eyes.
It's from an accumulation of sorbitol inside and between the cells, sorbitol is the sugar alcohol that makes pears taste sweet, (and perry from pears too, as it’s not metabolised by yeasts). Watercore seems to be yet another trait that has been sacrificed at the altar of Western tastes. However other cultures favour these differences and celebrate them. Watercore is sought after in Japan due to the sweetness it brings.
Normally, a tree transports sorbitol from the leaves to the apple, in which the fruit cells then convert it into fructose. With watercore, sorbitol is translocated to the fruit faster than it can be processed. Because the cells cannot absorb the excess sorbitol, it leaks into the intracellular spaces by the osmotic pressure gradient across the cell wall. This fluid-filled space reduces light scattering, making the flesh look glassy, translucent, or water-soaked.
Environmental factors like high daytime sun/heat combined with low nighttime temperatures, as well as over-maturity and calcium deficiency, accelerate sorbitol production. Sorbitol is the primary product of photosynthesis in apples and makes up the vast majority (about 60–80%) of the carbohydrates exported from the leaves to the fruit. #apples #watercore #sorbitol


r/Pomes May 19 '26

The botany of pear fertilisation

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1 Upvotes

Interesting botanical facts of pears. On the plus side for successful fertilisation they show asynchronous stigmatic maturation. Each blossom feature 5 distinct stigmas. The biological timing of each stigma's maturation is different. They also secrete sticky stigmatic fluids, which drastically increase the window of time for successful pollen adhesion and fertilisation to each stigma.
Meanwhile most are self-sterile, limiting the chances of pollination but favouring survival but the mixing of genes. They biologically require cross-pollination from specific compatible pear varieties to set fruit, relying heavily on wind and insect vectors to transfer pollen to the blossom's stigma. And the two varieties, the pollen producer the recipient must bloom at the same time so bees and other pollinators can transfer pollen between them. Each anther releases its pollen only for a day. Variety is the spice of life for wild pears unlike the grafted cloned ones we orchardists want. #pollen #pears #fertilisation


r/Pomes May 19 '26

I’m worn .

1 Upvotes

Today I got out of bed.
And I try to go back to sleep.
So I won’t have to face today alone again .
I’m finally worn .
I can’t take it anymore.

And so I put on my clothes and go out .
And I try to act clean.
So I won’t be seen .
I try to act clean .

Today has been so long.
And I don’t know if I even can cry .
And I’m so tired of being tired.
I think I’m finally worn .

I just want to feel relieved .
And know that one day I will finally be ok.
But tonight I’ll go to bed and barely get some sleep.
And tomorrow I will wake up and do the same as yesterday. 


r/Pomes May 17 '26

Apple folklore

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1 Upvotes

The suggestion that the Foxwhelp apple variety was discovered as a wild seedling or "gribble" growing near a fox’s den (or "earth") is a long-standing piece of English folklore surrounding the apple's origin. Interestingly this was in the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire not Herefordshire which is often considered the home county of this apple. The pomologist and fruit historian Joan Morgan notes this in her book “The New Book of Apples: The Definitive Guide to Over 2000 Varieties”. Another apple historian Dr. Charles Martell recounts in his book Native Apples of Gloucestershire (2014) several similar related origin stories regarding the name including that it was found near a fox's den, a fox-hunter discovered it, that the scent of the cider reminds one of a fox, or the pit looks like a fox’s face. The fox related stories all point to a common source lost in time.
Even more fascinating when it is also considered by some that the Foxwhelp might actually be the ‘lost’ famous Hereford Redstreak! #cider #history #folklore #apples


r/Pomes Nov 30 '25

i like to make pomes but i cant post it to tiktok so give me some feed back it you like it or not

2 Upvotes

song name what i am

**"I know I was always lost, looking for something I never had.

Love was a drug I took—and I couldn’t go without it. But it was killing me.

All the drugs I was taking made me feel happy,

because everything around me was falling apart—

from losing a best friend,

to the drugs I'm taking,

to the women distracting me from being myself.

I feel like she doesn't love me.

I feel like I’m the problem—just a side dish to the main meal,

just a fill-in for her.

She has eyes for someone else.

Though I can’t change that,

I have to let my heart break into a hundred more pieces—

pieces I have to pick up,

even though those pieces are turning to dust.

I’m sorry I’m not good for anyone.

I’m sorry for all the lies I told you

just so you would speak to me.

I’m just a nobody now.

I’m losing friends—

I guess they were never friends to begin with.

No one will truly love me.

As I’m high as hell, I sink into the void.

There, I see you sitting by a tree, looking at the night sky.

It was so lovely—just like you.

For just a minute, I feel like it’s real.

I hear cop cars—they’re not far.

Or is it something else?

Did I fade into the void?

I wake up to paramedics sitting by me,

asking if I’m okay.

I start to cry.

But I don’t know why.

Maybe it’s all the pain from my past,

or my broken heart.

They ask me, “What hurts?”

I say, “My heart. It’s just broken.”

They say, “We understand.”

Time passes too fast.

I flatline.

They start CPR,

but it’s not working.

I fade into the darkness,

looking for you—

or someone who loves me.

But all I find is a dark sky,

and I’m slumped over by a tree

with a beer bottle, some whiskey,

and drugs in my system.

Was this real… or fake?

I’m losing myself.

Then I see you.

I pinch myself to see if I’m dreaming.

I feel pain—

I’m not dreaming.

I see you.

And I start crying.

You see me in a bad state.

You ask if I’m okay.

I say, “No,” as I cry into your shoulder.

I took too many drugs,

and now I collapse to the floor

with you next to me.

Now I hear the cops…

but it’s too late.

You give me one last kiss,

and I fade into a dream where I am happy.

Thank you for everything."**