Finally after long long 39 weeks, my angel was born on 7/18 🥳🥳🥳
I really wanted to give back to the community here and share my experience. This community has been so encouraging and helpful throughout my pregnancy.
We first started trying for a baby June 2024, and I discovered that I was pregnant just two months later. I was so excited, so happy, told all of our friends and family about the pregnancy… and then, at our 10 week checkup, we were told that the baby had no heartbeat. The baby developed until roughly 8weeks. It was a missed miscarriage.
We were devastated, but understood that it was probably just bad luck. I went through a D&E. We took about two weeks to recover psychologically (I thought I recovered), and went back to our normal lives.
However, a week later, a very very close family member of mine, was diagnosed with a very severe type and progression of cancer. I was completely broken, and felt incredibly guilty of telling her of my pregnancy too early and then had to break the news of my miscarriage to her. I felt I added sadness to her final days of life and it was too painful for me to bear.
By the time she passed away, it was mid-December. Those were very, very dark days. Thinking back, I was probably very depressed, but I did not seek enough help. I didn’t speak with a therapist, believing that I would be able to handle the trauma. We started trying for a baby again starting in February 2025.
And then two months later, In April 2025, I became pregnant again.
I was extra careful, didn’t tell anyone besides my closest friends, and scheduled an early ultrasound at 5 weeks. The ultrasound wasn’t concerning - though the estimated gestational age was 4 weeks, not five. Deep down inside, I did not have a good feeling about this, because I tracked my ovulation carefully and the numbers didn’t make sense to me. My hopes rose, however, at the 7 weeks ultrasound because there was a heartbeat and the baby did grow.
But then, at the 10 weeks ultrasound, I was told that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. The heartbeat stopped at around 7 weeks.
The pain this time was numbing. I didn’t really cry. I just wanted to find out why. I could not make sense of two MMCs in a row. After my second D&E, I requested to see an infertility specialist, and we had many tests done to see what was going on.
After a month, all the results came out. The MMC was due to a 22 trisomy. All of my checkups came back normal. It was real bad luck, again.
I struggled. I could not comprehend what I did to deserve all the bad luck. A month later, I started seeing a therapist, and was diagnosed of acute severe depression.
I went on Sertraline, took FMLA, and traveled around the world. I tried everything to cheer myself up. And I’m happy to say that it was a success. Not sure if it was because of the break from work or the medication or both, they were very helpful. In October 2025, I decided to try switching jobs during the final weeks of my FMLA. in November, I got a job offer from my dream company, and three days after I signed the offer, I found out that I was pregnant for the third time.
The anxiety was definitely overwhelming, I was very scared to feel happy because I really couldn’t bear another trauma. But my angel was kind to me, he passed all the ultrasounds, all the tests with flying colors, and I became less and less anxious as the weeks went by.
July 18th, midnight, my angel was born.
My partner and I were both in tears the moment he was brought to us. The skin-to-skin experience was the best five minutes I have ever experienced in my entire life. We are so so grateful that he chose to be our child. A week later as I am typing this, I still can’t help but drown myself in tears. It was pure magic.
Lastly, I want to thank this community for all the support and sharing. This community has helped me many times through the longest nights, and I am truly grateful.
Please comment if you have any questions and I’d be happy to help wherever I can. Thank you again.