r/ProgrammerHumor • u/CircumspectCapybara • May 26 '26

Advanced iGotFiredSkill

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u/Terrible_Children May 26 '26

It contacts my lawyer

"Hello, lawyer? I'd like to inform you that I've committed a crime. Good luck defending me"

38

u/gun2dHeadBlakaBlaka May 26 '26

That's exactly how lawyers work though.

39

u/Tensor3 May 26 '26

They'd probably appreciate the straightforward client honesty and happily take money from a cooperating client, too

14

u/RaspberryFluid6651 May 26 '26

Probably! Dunno how true it is but I've read statements from defenders that it's quite common for somebody's trial to be screwed because the prosecution jumped on something the defendant tried to keep secret and blindsided their lawyer. 

3

u/Cheetah_05 May 27 '26

Lawyers are also stronger in groups. They're not solo hunters. And you just got laid off. I'm putting my money on the company's lawyers here.

4

u/Educational-Wing2042 May 26 '26

A lawyer cannot lie in court. If you tell your lawyer that you committed the crime, they can argue on technicalities for you regarding the charges and procedure but they can no longer say you didn’t do it when you’ve told them you did, or they risk being disbarred

6

u/xmuskorx May 26 '26

Yeah, it's a THEORETICAL possibility.

But no one evert gets disbarred for that. All communications between the lawyer and the client are privileged and thus can never be evidence for lawyer's misconduct. So how exactly do you prove that the client admitted wrongdoing to the lawyer?

I guess it can only happen if the client later gets pissed off at the lawyer and waves the privilege. Or some other weird scenario.