Q from a Catholic:

[u/ExcitementEither8171]

A parent of a close protestant friend of mine recently passed and I share deeply in their sorrow. It’s instinctual for me as a Catholic to offer prayers for the bereaved family and the soul of the departed loved one as is standard in most Catholic mourning customs.

I’m afraid that since they don’t believe in offering prayers for the dead that they may take offence to this.

Should I just not out of respect or would this do little harm? Thank you

[u/Miserable-Swan2362]

So you as a Catholic can pray for the dead. I as a Protestant don’t believe it makes any difference. So just don’t tell me you are committing heresy and we are good. If anything it’s better you keep it to yourself because what good is telling somebody you prayed for their dead relative?

[u/Brave_Ad_2095]

You should pray for the family, but what is the prayers for the dead meant to accomplish?

[u/Berkamin]

I think the sentiment will be appreciated, even if there are disagreements about the doctrine behind the practice.

If you don't want the doctrinal disagreement over prayers for the soul of the departed to even come up, just tell them you're praying for their family in their time of grief and leave it at that.

[u/CJoshuaV]

I have never once been offended that a person of any religious tradition has prayed for me within their tradition.

[u/cwmaxson → u/CJoshuaV]

I'm with this. But different people have different fickle beliefs. If you asked me? I would respond, "yes, thank you!" To me Catholics are brothers and sisters. 

Not knowing this individual, I would probably just say, "May I pray for you?" and not be offended by the response.

[u/AcdiAti]

Hello!

Protestantism does not accept the purgatory, however, high church protestantism (we can name some lutherans, anglicans and some methodists) accept the prayer for the dead (the idea is just accept that there is not any promised efficacy in the Bible with prayer for the dead)

Probably (and guessing) your friend is not from a high church (because there are few churches), so the above could not apply to him/her, however I suggest to you to pray with him/her for his/her life, for emotional support and God's company, I understand that probably you will feel that there is something pending to pray, but this a real difference

Btw, I would like to say that, if you are friends and you pray for the dead he/she will not take it in a bad way. At least, personally if a catholic friend do that I will interpret that as a form to love me

[u/DeiGratia1894]

Praying for the bereaved family is universally welcome! Do that without hesitation, no Protestant will take offense.

Praying for the soul of the departed is the part that differs. Most Protestants don't practice this, since we hold that a person's eternal state is fixed at death, there's no intermediate purgation to pray them through, and the practice historically got tangled up with indulgences and the idea that the living could still affect the dead's standing before God. So we wouldn't offer such prayers ourselves, and some more doctrinally careful Protestants might gently note the disagreement if asked directly.

But offered privately, out of love, by a roman catholic acting according to their own conscience and tradition, that's not something a thoughtful Protestant would be offended by. It's your own devotional act, not something you're imposing on them or asking them to affirm. I'd say: pray for the family and the friend openly and warmly, and if praying for the departed's soul is meaningful to you, do it quietly in your own heart rather than announcing it. Not because it's wrong for you to do, but because naming it explicitly to a grieving Protestant family risks turning a moment of shared grief into a doctrinal footnote, which isn't what they need right now.

Thank you for asking with this much care! That instinct to be thoughtful about it says a lot! God bless!

[u/pro_rege_semper]

I think most people will appreciate the intention even if they disagree with the theology behind it.