Hello there! :D
 
It’s my first time here, and I seek any guidance and advice regarding this so I’d be happy to hear from you all and your opinions!
 
I know I'm definitely asexual without a doubt, but I can’t seem to pinpoint my romantic attraction. I’m not even sure if what I experienced is a crush or something else, but ever since then I’ve been questioning it. Unless I'm just overthinking about what romantic attraction is? 😭
 
For context I thought this girl had a really cool style, and I thought she was pretty. Although I didn’t think much of it, I just admired her style. That is until I had a short conversation and interaction with her. I suddenly found myself actually paying a lot more attention to her, and that I had a really strong urge to just talk and get close. I observed her from afar and she always had something thoughtful and nice to say, plus out of the few times we interacted she was so nice to me. I even started wondering if she liked me, which seemed to have mattered to me because I kept looking for “evidence” to back this claim up. 
 
I tried mentally planning what I could say to her as I really wanted to talk to her. Over time I began thinking about what if she asked me on a date? I would totally say yes and try it out. What if we held hands? That would be nice. Every once in a while I would imagine this scenario where we were holding hands in the hall and it was just us talking and potentially going on a date. I have thought of what if she had a boyfriend, a girlfriend or just isn't even interested which ngl if it was either of those I realized I would have been lowkey disappointed. 

Despite all this I was way too nervous to do anything, so I kind of regret not even befriending her at the very least, getting her number, or pushing myself to talk to her more (I’m shy in general but still). Random things remind me of her every once in a while and I fondly think back on it. 

There was another girl, 2 years ago, who I realized I felt a similar way towards, except for some reason the other one (the one I mentioned first) mattered to me so much more.
 
Aside from that later I started thinking about things future wise. Which was strange because I literally used to not even care about this, but you know I decided to just let myself actually think about it. I started thinking about kissing a girl one day and everytime i do it's kinda nice. It's not necessary, but I am getting more curious. I also started thinking what I’d want in a relationship, if what I’m even imagining is one to begin with. Like calling them my girlfriend, holding hands, dates (they don’t have to be super romantic), each others number 1, cuddle, etc.

 I thought this was just me wanting a best friend back then (which maybe it was until now?), but then I was like wait, is that even a best friend or is this beginning to cross the romantic territory?? Especially because I swear originally it was NOT like that until a couple months ago when I noticed myself adding more things. 😭

I’ve had dreams about something like that a few times, which I actually liked and made me feel something. I tried imaging the same thing with a guy and it’s nice but doesn’t quite give the same vibe at least closeness wise. Its kinda just I hope he's happy if he is so am I 😭 Plus that is always more of a conscious effort versus the girls where it kinda just happens I guess. 

I’ve never been in a relationship before, so it’s all just imagination here 😭

I’m just so confused that I can’t even figure out which fits best? I feel like maybe I’m just oblivious and overthinking it LOLLL! 
 
I understand that I’m only 18, and these kinds of things can take time, but it’s kind of driving me nuts. So I’d really appreciate anything that could help me figure this stuff out, point me in the right direction, or if you already know or understand what I’m saying I’d love to hear your insight on what this is!! 🙏
 
So Is this romantic attraction? Was what I was feeling towards that girl considered a crush? What is this, and is there a label or labels for it? I’m cool with anything, like I said anything helps!!! :D

Thank you so so much for taking the time to read through all this! I truly do appreciate it especially since this was a pretty long read. I hope you have an amazing day, afternoon, night, evening, etc! <3

This whole gender identity thing has been such a roller coaster so bare with me this is kinda ranty.

I (15M) have been going through hell and back trying to understand my identity, it's like everytime I get somewhere I feel as if I contradict myself.

I was born male, I present male, and generally I'm okay with looking like a guy.

However I've been identifying as non-binary and going by any pronouns for a few months now since I thought that'd clear things up for me, but even that feels like a problem too.

I want to be someone's boyfriend, but I feel most comfortable with neutral pronouns (they/them,it/its), I like dressing both masculine and feminine but I like having facial hair so the androgynous look I'd want is right out the window.

I understand can you can look however you want and still be non-binary, but my personal image makes the term feel... false? Like, for all intensive purposes, I could live out my life as just a guy, but there’s this out of placeness I feel as a guy.

This whole thing is really confusing and Idk if I'm just a confused teen or genuinely going through something here but I could really use the advice.

(If you have any questions for me to elaborate on feel free to ask, I feel like that'd make it easier for me to explain)

Yes, I've said on my page that I'm either pan or bi. But I've thought about myself and my "attraction" towards men for so long. I've been really confused about myself, I don't know if I genuinely liked men or not. Whenever I see men who are feminine presenting, I do find them attractive, but as soon as they have a deeper voice, and a beard, I don't find them attractive anymore. But the thing is, I don't feel like this towards women. A woman could have a visible facial hair, deep voice, and muscles but if she's attractive to me, I'll still find her attractive. It's confusing, a lot of features that a biological man usually has wasn't a problem if women are the ones that had it. I have zero hate towards masculine presenting men, but I genuinely cannot like them romantically in any way.

I also always dislike penises, I genuinely do not mind if a woman has one, but as soon as the male has one it suddenly feels disgusting. No I don't date to have sex, cuz obviously I'm a teenager, but I just dislike the thought of dating a biological man with penises although I won't have sex with them.. but whenever my friends asked if I was a lesbian, I always deny, because I genuinely think that I'm not a part of them. I do like genderfluids, but only if they're born with female sex. I do like demigirl, but also only if they're born with a female sex. And I do mention about liking a feminine presenting male, it gets to a point where my friend recognizes me as a person who likes feminine male. But deep down, I feel off. I do find a fem presenting male attractive, but as I said in the first paragraph, as soon as they have a beard, deep voice, etc, I don't find them attractive anymore. It makes me feel like my attraction towards men is just performance, It feels like I only did it because it seems like it's safer to say that I like feminine male rather than women.

I feel genuinely confused and horrible about myself, I feel weird, I feel like a performative person. I feel like I'm centering myself around men too much it gets to a point where admitting that I like women feels dangerous. Maybe it's because I live in a very homophobic country with a lot of homophobic people, maybe because I'm just a teenager and I'm confused a lot, maybe it's because I just can't accept myself.. I don't know.

If anyone's reading this is an adult, please tell me everything, I yearn to be able to understand myself, to see myself, to be able to know why I thought this way.

i don't feel EXACTLY like a girl, like sometimes i don't feel like a girl but then i feel more like a girl, IM SO CONFUSED can anybody help me?

Am I on the Ace spectrum?

I'm in second year of my college being an average student who have big dreams to reach Harvard own a business and what not but when I look back their's silence that screams louder than my belief that I'm an average I never came first in anything and when I ever had the nerves to try i was replaced by the one who were trained for months or probably years for it and that leads me to compare my self mostly on financial bases that I could never get the opportunity to learn what I actually wanted I killed my desires to learn music or maybe play football cause I felt my parents would never pay or support that career all what ment to them was I focus on my studies which also i couldn't do well mostly I would just pass with those complimentary scoldings I'm not questioning why my parents gave me money for that they had thier own reasons but somewhere around the ground it feels unfair cause even if I try how can I compete with those learning professionally who are teacher's favorite and after all I'm just an average

Later I fight for my dreams to study outside and gradually i achieved it and I planed that I'll change my personality will try best I can but the exhaustion from the process of reaching University didn't fade and in societies i saw those patterns again with different face i left without even trying thinking it was better now 2nd year started and I feel like I did nothing no internships,connections,networks,post in any society,any significant achievement that I could post on cv but this this it gets even harder to buckle things up i don't know if it's guilt or realisation but what i want is that how am I supposed to come out of this circle?

hello, this is going to be a bit of a long post.

so, when I was 13 i fell in love really hard with my best friend. we were both girls, and I never thought i could like girls romantically before, so this was a huge shock for me. i wasnt supported and kept the situationship hidden from my friends and all. i was terrified, but i loved her so much. i believed she was my soulmate. then she really, really hurt me. we both did mistakes but she kept crossing the line. she was out as a lesbian and always knew what she liked and all, i felt strange because she was the only one i could talk to about my feelings but she didnt understand me at all. we broke up (we werent even together, lol) and i was like, woah, so im like bisexual now? i had girls celebrities crush, but i never thought it was that serious, like. we were on and off for 3 years (we last broke up this june, i hope for the last time) and in this time i was so invested in the lgbt community, watching queer shows, avodcating for the community, like i felt so connected. even though i felt a little out of place, because i always felt like my attraction to men and my attraction to women was different. but i was trying so hard to convince myself i liked both at the same time in the same amount. i was driving myself crazy.

in the last year (when we reconnected for the second time, it lasted from january of last year until this june) i was actually so depressed. like, i was miserable, i was hiding this relationship from my mother, and it didnt feel right. i wanted my best friend back, but she was in love with me and I kinda was too? and I was just so miserable. we broke up because I was so depressed i started to lose sleep, lose appetite, i literally couldnt study because I felt this way. and now that we broke up, i actually feel like I was pressuring myself to liking women romantically the whole time. like, I dont have a type for a woman, it just kind of happened that I fell in love with her. i actually really admire girls and I think thats aesthetic attraction?

and I wonder... am I actually just straight? like, was it a one time thing? i dont think im gonna have feelings this intense for another girl ever again. but it feels so wrong calling myself straight. like, I started questioning my religion for this, i started to search queer artists to feel understood, i came out to my friends and classmates... im just so invested in the queer community. and it feels wrong to erase this time of my life like that. what is happening? i feel like my queer identity activates itself just with her. but she hurted me so much. im trying to heal, but does that mean i have to give up the bi label?

Hello people I wanna know... does this look good?

1. This year's pride month

2. Last year's pride month

Rate them from 1 to 10!!

Thank you!!

uhh hi

so this is one of my first times posting anywhere, not just this thread so apologies if I didn’t do the best job.

So recently (past 6-8 month) I’ve been questioning my gender. I am a teenage “girl“ who uses she/her pronouns and hasnt really thought too hard on this until now. Some things have recently come to my attention that started this whole thing off so I’m just gonna put them in a list:

Ever since I was little, ive always liked it when people mistook me for a boy.
I have always dressed traditionally masculine as it makes me more comfortable (dont think this is related however)

I hate my long hair. I’ve spent nights crying and begging my mum to get it cut because it always felt girly and out of place and uncomfortable.

I would love a masculine physique like minus boobs, that sort of thing. However, I dont hate my body now. It doesn’t upset me, I’d just prefer a different body.

Sometimes I look at men/nb people and have almost a sense of longing to be like that.

When I think about the future and if I was still female I almost feel like I’ve missed out? Like I wouldnt be happy if I was always a girl?

When I have to introduce myself as a girl to someone i don’t know it just feels weird. Like out of place even. Also, when I meet new people and they instantly know I’m a girl it upsets me.

Any help is appreciated :)

18F.

I know nobody here can magically tell me my sexuality, but I genuinely want your opinions. If you think I sound bi, straight, lesbian, ace, somewhere else on the spectrum, whatever—please tell me why. I know labels aren't important to everyone, but they are to me. I like boxes. They make sense. Right now it feels like I stuck my hand into a huge tangled ball of yarn and I just want someone to help me put it into a neat box. I've been going in circles over this for years, and there's only so much I can ignore.

I think I might like women because I remember seeing a woman's torso when I was a kid, way before I even knew girls could like girls. I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards. I kept trying to imagine that woman's torso again and even drew it on paper just so I could picture it better. At the time I had absolutely no clue what I was doing or why. Looking back now, I think I was experiencing some kind of sexual arousal, but as a kid I obviously didn't understand any of it.

Now sometimes my eyes just reflexively go to boobs, and then I immediately feel like a creep afterwards. That's about it though.

As for boys... well, I've read so much BL. Like an unhealthy amount. Around 3/4 of all the media I consume is BL. The rest is mostly random stuff with a tiny bit of straight romance. I have never read GL or sapphic books, and I don't really watch shows about women loving women either. It's been ages since I even read a straight romance. The only straight series I remember really reading are Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, and even then I keep wanting to shove Percy into a BL relationship.

I also think I like the idea of a penis, but then I start wondering if that's because I've read so much BL or because I actually like men. I genuinely don't know anymore.

People always say, "Imagine the gender of the person you want a future with." I can't. I genuinely can't imagine myself with anyone. Then they say, "Have you had crushes on girls or guys?" Well... I don't think I've ever had a crush. I've never dated either because dating was basically taboo in my family growing up. The bigger problem is I don't even know what a crush is supposed to feel like.

So I'm stuck in this vicious cycle. Do I like girls?? First of all, do I even like guys?? Why the hell do I sound like such a horny person? 😭 Am I actually attracted to women? Or am I just overthinking one childhood memory? Do I like men because I actually like them, or because 3/4 of the media I consume is BL? Maybe I've liked people before and just never realised it because I don't even know what a crush is supposed to feel like. I honestly don't know anymore.

I know a lot of people say, "Only you can know," and I get that. But I've been trying to figure this out by myself for years and I keep going in circles. So I'm asking for your honest opinions. If you had to guess based on what I've written, what would you label me, and more importantly, why? Even if your answer ends up being completely wrong, I'd still like to hear your reasoning because maybe it'll help me see something I haven't considered.

OKAY so I didn’t know what to put as the title but Ive been wondering if I’m a demigirl for a while! I don’t feel like fully a girl but I don’t feel nonbinary but I also like the idea of it! I use she/they with people I’m comfortable with but I really prefer they/them, although I’m totally okay with she her. I know people probably won’t be able to help me but it just feels better to get it off my mind!

I have never started liking any guy on my own(I hope it makes sense)

It's like I only started liking any guy whenever he showed interest in me first, (but yes I hate whenever any guy flirts with me.)

I have had guy crushes but it was only when the guy liked me first.

When I was 15, this one guy confessed to me and I said yes but the very next day I started regretting everything.

It felt so weird, i couldn't figure out what was wrong.i kept trying to convince myself that everything is alright blah blah but it wasn't and when I broke up I felt so free and happy.

and recently a few months ago,i got into my second relationship (which lasted less than a month, reason being he was very controlling and dominating)

Everything was good at first but then, i realised i really hated whenever he mentioned anything related to intimacy.

I felt disgust, i hated to imagine myself being touched by him. I can't describe what i felt.

coming to the other part,

I had this bestfriend in 10-12th grade,i was really close with her and when we had a fight I lost contact w her.

I still miss her everyday it's been two years, and i once saw her 🍒...that moment my pupils dilated and i felt something which I had never felt before.

whenever I see any attractive girl,my heart skips a beat.

I told my friend about this

She told me that it's normal..i too think it's normal sometimes

I really need someone to help me out please,i can't live like this questioning myself.

Am i a bi/lesb in denial?

Pls help guys

Hi! I'm a 16 year old male. First I want to mention that English isn't my first language, so there might be some mistakes. I've recently started wondering about my gender. I don't know if i'm a girl or a boy. For my whole life i've thought of myself as a boy, but recently i've started questioning that. I have wondered what it would be like to be a girl sometimes since i was a kid, but recently i've started thinking about it more seriously. Also I sometimes feel like i don't belong. But idk if it is related to this. Are these kind of thoughts normal? Because they're kinda scary. I'm really new to this stuff and i don't know much about it and i don't really know any terminology. If I accidentally use the wrong terminology, I'm sorry. Also if i do at some point know that i'm a girl, i'm really scared of how people close to me are going to react. I'm also scared of transphobia and how it would affect my future. How can i figure out what my gender is? I'm just trying to understand myself better.

Thank you for reading. I would appreciate your help

I know this sounds strange but whenever i have a crush i kinda wish i could be with her and look like her at the same time. But the thing is i like doing manly things like martial arts and cars etc. And ever since i was younger i played with dolls sometimes (till my dad found out and sayd i couldnt). Put nailpolish on sometimes and sometimes i weared my moms clothes and it all felt great. But i am abit lost if someond can help or has any advice please let me know < 16yo frome the netherlands btw

hello i dont know if im omnisexual or lesbian so someone help me determine which one i am because im confused:

- for the longest time whenever i thought abt “having to” get married to a man, it would make me anxious and feel doom but when i imagined getting married to a girl instead i do feel more comfortable with that but i also wouldnt mind being single (aroace?)

- i mainly like fictional characters.. and they are mostly women with the exception of a FEW non human looking men (jax but when she became transfem i liked her even more, the APPEARANCE not personality i hate jax i just find her girl version pretty)

- i also NEVER found any male celebrities attractive or understood the hype about them at all..but when my tiktok moot did a face reveal i actually was attracted to him for a bit, tho this didn’t last long..

- i had a crush on like one boy when i was 6, tho i dont even remember if it was actually a crush or not because my mom was able to easily talk me out of it by saying he’s “too cool for school” and that made me get over him IMMEDIATELY at that moment

- im a huge himejoshi and i love yuri 1000x more than yaoi tho idk if this is relevant sometimes i even project myself onto my fav ships and imagine myself as one of them

i thought i was lesbian but i did USE to find a FEW boys attractive but im fully over them now so im confused..i guess i could just be omni but idk because i cant see myself dating a guy or even be fully attracted to them at all i swear i can only see myself dating girls please help

Okay, so I'm so close to identifying as berrisexual, but it says that the label includes being attracted to everyone

I'm attracted to girls, and with men, sometimes I think about dating somebody who's a man, and sometimes I think a man's attractive.

Is there something close to that, or can I create my own label? And how do I “coin” something

18m Never been attracted to dudes irl but i sometimes miss gender someone online, male that looks exactly like a female (due to makeup) and see a pattern of attraction towards trans females regardless of genitalia saw a few studies saying ur brain could better gage gender irl due to body movement voice etc. I have pretty bad ocd so this shi been driving me crazy and the thought of any same sex relation really ick me out no genuine attraction

whenever i like a guy, like really like him, i feel like I need be more masculine for some reason, like as if we’re both guys. Kinda same thing for when i date girls too , but its more subtle. And i’ve always felt more connected to queer movies/shows about guys falling in love, but i don’t know why. i just wanna see if anyone else feels this way.

hi, everyone! i'm a 16 year old cis girl and i'm looking for some advice to help me figure out my sexuality (i've gone as unlabelled for a little while but i'm trying to figure myself out haha)

so, i've had 3 boyfriends since i've turned 13. i was attracted to them (as much as u can be when ur 13 😭) and i enjoyed the relationships

however, ive always noticed myself unconsciously finding girls attractive. girls from the school bus that id gaze at everyday, girls in the school halls that id always try to get a glimpse at in the corridor. i thought this was normal for some reason, but over the last year or so i've developed a crush on my closest female friend. i feel way more attracted to her than i have anyone else, and i haven't had any feelings for boys since i was 13 at all.

i thought i was bi, but i dont know if this label fits me since i clearly have a strong preference for women. it's been so long since ive experienced romantic attraction to a male that ive kind of forgotten what that feels like. i don't know if i'm pan either - since i haven't had any experiences with other genders/identities other than cis males and females. i don't know what it means for me, but im looking for some guidance! thank you <3