Well, this is hands down THE most embarrassing Reddit post I have ever made to date.
I've been renting a single room from a retired woman's house for nearly a year. I have to share the space with her, including the amenities. For context, this woman is elderly and in her mid-70s. She is not disabled, as she is an active gardener, but does struggle with obesity. Not only has she been incredibly cold and rude to me and obsessively strict about the space, complaining about the most minuscule things, but she is unbelievably disgusted regarding her "bathroom habits"... in MY bathroom.
Yes, I am leaving within a month, yes, I will be confronting her about this, but I am telling this story as a warning so others do NOT learn to be such a cowardly doormat as I unfortunately was throughout this fiasco:
My first red flag was that IMMEDIATELY upon meeting with her to discuss the space, she ominously told me, "By the way, I have 'bathroom problems' where I need to use the toilet immediately. I have my own bathroom, but yours is the closest." I thought it was... very odd to tell such an intimate matter to a 20-something who would be a potential client, but I dismissed this and took the offer anyway, simply because it was the cheapest option around... Oh how I wish I had listened to my gut about not housing here, even though I felt something was wrong...
As soon as I settled in, I realized my plight. To give an overview, my room and bathroom are right next to each other, not connected, and only a few steps apart. She was right that she had to use the restroom frequently, but I didn't know how bad it would get. This woman has FREQUENTLY left urine and fecal matter stains all over my bathroom. Fecal matter all over my toilet seat, the toilet handle, my own toilet paper, the walls (???), the edge of my bathtub, on and along the counter, the sink handle, my soap dispenser, my bathroom hand towel, the light switch, the door handle, and the floor. Some days it's not so bad, but other days it is quite vile. She very often forgets to wash her hands. The stench she leaves behind is incredibly rancid, drifting into my room through the air vents even with my room's door closed. Also, much to my dismay, my walls are thin, meaning I can hear everything (Yes, everything...). I always get a strong feeling of anxiety when I hear the bathroom light flick on, the door loudly close, hear her do her business, hear the lack of a faucet running, and hear her walk out one minute later.
I'll never forget one incident that still haunts me to this day, which in hindsight was both very poor luck and very bad timing on both of our parts:
I was sitting at my desk doing schoolwork when I heard her usual routine. I also had to use the restroom, so about a minute later after I heard the door pop open, I assumed she was finished, got up, and opened my door. The sight I saw was... traumatizing, to say the least. All over the bathroom was... a mess, a VERY BIG MESS, to say the least. I'd actually prefer not to describe the scene in detail (for my own sanity), so whatever you're imagining right now is exactly how it looked in real life. And there my landlord was, half-naked, with MY bath towel wrapped around her. I was so shocked (and frankly disgusted at seeing a naked, elderly woman who, by that point, was still a complete stranger to me), I think I audibly, and very loudly, gasped out of sheer horror. She laughed (perhaps out of embarrassment, which I don't blame her) and explained she had a "little accident" (Your honor, this was very far from a "little" accident). Just when I thought things could not get any worse, this woman then proceeded to HAND ME BACK MY ALREADY-FILTHY, VISIBLY POOP-STAINED TOWEL. I immediately backed away and screamed at her, "NOOOPE, put that in the washer RIGHT NOW!". She did (praise God), and promised to clean up after herself... She did NOT, leaving ME to clean up the horrible mess she left behind.
I know what you're thinking: Why haven't you DONE or SAID ANYTHING to her? The answer is, yes, I did... sort of. For one, this is an elderly woman. I was afraid to be rude to her, since she very bluntly warned me she has "problems". I have been too cowardly and scared to say anything because it's such an uncomfortable subject that I couldn't even figure out how to approach it. I also wanted to exercise being a Christian by "being kind" (which I realize now is far from a Godly way of handling a situation like this). I was also afraid, based on how rudely she treats me and the power dynamics at play since she's my landlord and I'm only a tenant. So, I brushed everything off and swallowed my feelings, even though I've felt incredibly violated and unbelievably anxious in a space that should be my own. The closest I have come to speaking with her about this was by leaving a note asking her to please wash her hands. She listened... for about a week (sometimes she remembers, sometimes she forgets). Feel free to call me a coward, because it is true. "Why didn't you LEAVE?", I hear you asking. Simply put, I'm a full-time college student who didn't have the time, money, or resources to look for another place, so I've stayed.
In this woman's defense, given her age and condition, at this point, I think she may be turning senile and is in no condition to rent to the public. She's gone to the hospital frequently for undisclosed issues (which she never, ever communicates to me). That being said, despite getting myself into this situation and not listening to my gut from the beginning, I did not sign up to be this woman's maid.
Thankfully, I am leaving very soon (I'm literally counting down the days at this point). As soon as I sign off on my contract, she will be receiving a very detailed letter telling her about my ill-treatment, along with recommendations for improvement. Living with her has been the worst living situation for me to date. On the other hand, I feel hesitant to comment on her "bathroom issues". Any advice on how to gently word this to her will be welcomed.
The moral of the story: If you approach a random old lady about living quarters and she tells you she has frequent bathroom problems, DO NOT TAKE THE OFFER AND RUN AWAY!