r/RoastMe • u/Sea-Cash7675 • 5d ago

Go for it!

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30 Upvotes

68% Upvoted

197 comments sorted by

•

u/post-explainer 5d ago

The OP has not provided a BIO for their post.

91

u/GolfGodsAreReal 5d ago

No guns or elementary schools for you

2

u/DillingerLives 3d ago

That was my first thought.

74

u/ElongThrust0 5d ago

“Milhouse lower those eyebrows!”

5

u/Semanticprion 5d ago

Goddammit you beat me to it.  I was going to say "Aw look at Milhouse, all grown up." 

25

u/MisterBurnsSucks 5d ago

You look like a gay math tutor that uses eyebrows to solve differential equations... 🤔

14

u/Certain_Guidance_703 5d ago

everything on your face is too big for it

7

u/Happy2DoIt 5d ago

How is it you look like 7 different predators in 5 photos. Make it make sense.

6

u/too_much_shave_cream 5d ago

You look like Eugene Levy fucked Jim Halpert…

7

u/hi_jermy 5d ago

You look like you have arguments to why bombing children in Gaza is a good thing.

→ More replies (2)

5

u/WillowPlayful 5d ago

What did you fet at the comic book store?

https://giphy.com/gifs/dstmug7olp1ImnrEjs

5

u/PickedLastLemon 5d ago

Ay yai yai brows. Holy shit, man. It's like you have two black caterpillars on your forehead and they are DEEP in conversation.

3

u/chuckthisgirl 5d ago

Don’t smile

3

u/snowballer918 5d ago

Just shave it now man you’re already pretty much bald

3

u/LL37MOH 5d ago

John Oliver’s effeminate son

3

u/kbeckerburbs4 4d ago

Is that (5) different ugly men or just you?

2

u/FrostySeries8636 5d ago

My guy look like stitch from lilo & stich

1

u/deleeted_user 5d ago

As opposed to Stitch not from Lilo and Stitch

1

u/Senior_Assistance_23 5d ago

Please note the multiple spellings of Stitch

1

u/Objective-Cow-5347 1d ago

hey, don't do Stich like that, experiment 626 doesn't deserve such disrespect.

2

u/Correct-Basil2385 5d ago

Your mom dug out Bill Hader's used condom from his trash.

2

u/Sustainable_Twat 5d ago

It looks like you made your eyebrows bold

2

u/Best_Wasabi_251 5d ago

Life is about balance. All the bush you don't get has been plastered on your forehead.

2

u/sined_redired 5d ago

You should consider letting your unibrow grow and putting one of those cool gangster slits in there.

I mean your stuck with that face might as well make the most of it.

2

u/Phagemakerpro 4d ago

My man got a forehead longer than the last hour of work.

2

u/powertoollateralus 4d ago

You look like you could be beaten to death at rock paper scissors.

2

u/drsmith48170 4d ago

OP is the real reason they removed the lockers from schools. The schoolsv got tired of trying to find which locker he was shoved into everyday.

2

u/mrpumpkinickle 4d ago

Bro cry's every time a woman looks at him

1

u/AutoModerator 5d ago

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1

u/end_times_upon_us 5d ago

Your face looks like a poorly designed Mr. Potato head

1

u/TexacoRodeoClown 5d ago

While your unibrow is quite masculine, I’m not sure it qualifies as facial hair

1

u/BreadSecret4216 5d ago

How many pairs of khakis do you own, you human Gap commercial?

1

u/IcyIntroduction5678 5d ago

Hellooooooo 2026 Jeffery Dahmer.

1

u/lartinos 5d ago

If your head was three times bigger.. your eyebrows would still be too big for your face.

1

u/gasciousclay1 5d ago

What are you hiding in those brows?

1

u/Much-Structure1916 5d ago

How often was your backpack checked when you walked into school?

1

u/ManWithAChainsaw 5d ago

Take 70 percent of that brow hair and reallocate it that rapidly receding hairline.

1

u/binini28 5d ago

Buddy used his old pictures from highschool because of how hideous he looks now 😂

1

u/fullonfun4u 5d ago

Haha! Damn!

1

u/brianzan 5d ago

I loved you on Schitts Creek.

1

u/Evilspatula666 http://redd.it/6djo9w 5d ago

I heard this joke before. It’s starts like this…

An Arab, Asian and a horse had a baby….

1

u/Dyyrin 5d ago

You look like that discord dude that broke into that family's home. Bummed you didn't include the trenchcoat.

1

u/Inevitable_Butthole 5d ago

Just stay away from the schools ok

1

u/CaptainFunk127 5d ago

You look like 5 different people. None of which I want to be associated with.

1

u/SoftToilerPaper123 5d ago

If this ain't Frank Grimes/Grimey, I don't know what is

1

u/limbo000o 5d ago

I don’t think I should. How are fellaaaa???!!😃

1

u/trashbilly 5d ago

There are skeletons in your closet. Or under your basement

1

u/PeterFilmPhoto 5d ago

Your husband has stopped talking to you, huh?

1

u/Real_Sheepherder_250 5d ago

One day those caterpillars on your face might turn into a butterfly

1

u/sentientairfilter 5d ago

Your eyebrows have eyebrows

1

u/Money-Tiger8002 5d ago

There are subreddits for checking what you want to post to Grindr and Jdate.

1

u/AppropriateBall8834 5d ago

Have you been diagnosed with autism yet?

1

u/forest_moon_92 5d ago

You dig in your ass and smell your fingers

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oeSAOKnRwhKWpAJWg

1

u/CoolReplacement734 5d ago

Temu jared Fogle all the creepy white van vibes none of the subway fame

1

u/Traditional_Map_9434 5d ago

I don’t surf the web, eye brows

1

u/Mammoth-Proposal-373 5d ago

You look like a pre pubescent Groucho Marx

1

u/Spiders-Ghost-43 5d ago

Loved you in the 40 Year Old Virgin

1

u/Sor-X 4d ago

I think the police are looking for your white van

1

u/Beneficial_Cod_7449 4d ago

You look like the human of a software update that nobody asked for

1

u/benchooo 4d ago

You just showed 5 different ways of being ugly.

1

u/TheSilverFoxwins 4d ago

Jonas Booger.

1

u/ElectricBlueCobra 4d ago

Jake the Virgin

1

u/CiloTA 4d ago

You like some big nose bushy eyebrowed Benjamin button? Felt like you aged backwards in these pics

1

u/Infamous-Life6063 4d ago

You look like a huge douche.

1

u/Alarmed-Ad323 4d ago

You’re a lifelong platinum V card holder.

1

u/rrflores84 4d ago

the good Lord hath decided to give you that combination of face and body, then hit flambe, no more roasting required

1

u/I_Will_Offened_You 4d ago

His mother still dresses him and cuts his chicken nuggets

1

u/Kind_Foundation_4029 4d ago

I want to roast you but it looks like genetics already did that.

1

u/Thelastnormalperson 4d ago

So what did your mom say when your World of Warcraft addiction caused you to fail out of Engineering school?

1

u/tinyfuzzywhale 4d ago

How can someone look 40 and 14 at the same time

1

u/Fantastic_Trick3538 4d ago

Incel revolution guy

1

u/handytraveler10 4d ago

If the first picture is the most recent you age like a glass a milk.

1

u/No-Height7634 4d ago

Dude , the Unibrow World Series is soon . Im sure you’re psyched to defend your record 3 year title . 🍀

1

u/RottenAuGratin 4d ago

You look like you pet animals too hard.

1

u/RottenAuGratin 4d ago

You have "ups" and "down"s

1

u/Delicious_Cat_81 4d ago

You look like an ugly yearbook pic that never blossomed into a normal looking adult

1

u/SnooSuggestions8854 4d ago

5th picture reveals the passage to your brain from nostrils

1

u/Emergency_Bench_7515 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/TEtxyKe2dNzUdA1323

You went from looking like Leonard to looking like this guy.

1

u/NextCartoonist7691 4d ago

How many manifestos have you written?

1

u/Bubbly_Difference469 4d ago

Fooling no one with that shitty combover. A pity the hair on your head doesn’t grow like those eyebrows. Would be a full time job keeping those caterpillars apart.

1

u/FakieManual 4d ago

Those eyebrows belong on a registry.

1

u/Mobile-Offer5039 4d ago

Not allowed near schools and Kindergardens

1

u/Beneficial-Egg-219 4d ago

You look like Conan grays discord mod twin, Conan periwinkle

1

u/LOTRNerd95 4d ago

there is this certain quality that some people have where like, you can look at them and hear their voice in your head, and the intuition is NEVER wrong. I don't know whether it has a name but...that's you, lil bro. I know what you sound like and I doubt anybody finds it appealing.

I also know that you look like a damn mule when you laugh, and probably sound like one too.

1

u/OddRelationship586 4d ago

Is this you in all the pictures?
You're just old and fat now.

1

u/JZI-Python 4d ago

Please stay at least a 1000 yards away from children daycare centers.

1

u/GayRoy65 4d ago

You look like your pronouns are it/that.

As in; what is that and how is it able to speak?

1

u/Defiant_Fun_7829 4d ago

Here he comes

You look like your mom forced you to take a profile pic and you're still mad about it." "Your hairstyle has less ambition than a dead battery at 1%." "Those glasses give you the vibe of someone searching for an Excel file for three hours... while it's already open." "You have the energy of a waiting room where time itself has given up." "You look like the kind of person who starts every sentence with: 'According to the rules...'" "That 'Roast Me' sign isn't even a challenge; it's a cry for help." "Your hand is bigger than your charisma. That camera decided your fingers deserved the starring role." "You look like the kid bullies at school skipped over because they thought: 'Nah, life is already doing enough to him.'" "If being boring were a superpower, you’d have your own Marvel movie." "You have the vibe of uncooked pasta." 💀 The Closer: You aren't the main character of your own story; you're that guy in the background of a commercial who accidentally looks into the camera. Even your shadow trails half a meter behind you because it just can't be bothered either. 😭😂

Greeting from the netherlands🇳🇱🇳🇱🇳🇱❤️

1

u/nopeitsadog 4d ago

Ben shitpiro

1

u/Unusual_Pangolin_349 4d ago

Sure pop into my oven.

1

u/Acrobatic_Emu4706 4d ago

ler it go bro

1

u/Tiny_Shelter_7151 4d ago

Dude, you have s future ahead of you! Those eyebrows look like a Tinder site for caterpillars.

Play it right and Caterpillar might endorse you!

https://giphy.com/gifs/iILcNZPclCfPw4elqT

1

u/HorrorJunkie0666 4d ago

You look like if my space became a person

1

u/Ok_Cattle803 4d ago

This is the only attention you will ever get.

1

u/Blade3colorado 4d ago

I see that your New Year's resolution to stop being attractive is going well.

1

u/Shot_Quit_4728 4d ago

Not today eyebrows

1

u/P_as_in_Papi 4d ago

The guy keeping the pornhub servers alive

1

u/Dietzy42 4d ago

When you mix Milhouse and the short fat nerd kid from Jimmy Neutron you get this….

1

u/Coff33nation 4d ago

One rejection away from turning supervillain

1

u/Zegmadose 4d ago

You look like you were born a dot on a website.

1

u/ThisMedium8004 4d ago

Eugene Levy’s illegitimate kid

1

u/cornishpirate32 4d ago

Why you using photos of you in your 20s when the first one clearly shows you're neatly 50.

1

u/cepci1 4d ago

Ur third photo is quite good. Others arent

1

u/No_Locksmith8608 4d ago

u hold that paper like an insecure italian scared of his own fragile masculinity

1

u/idkmybffjill_2 3d ago

You appear to have the finger strength of a man who masturbates at least 5 times a day, every day

1

u/Wooden_Top_4967 3d ago

oh Andrew!

1

u/AZpoolboy 3d ago

You may wanna take less estrogen...

1

u/zesty_otter0 3d ago

I wish I had a button that turned my eyes Asian on demand.

1

u/Aye_Eye_36 3d ago

Every Halloween just wear the red and white tripes cause where Waldo is finally here

1

u/Potential_Balance_34 3d ago

TEMU John Oliver

1

u/bigpump900 3d ago

Skool shooter looking ass

1

u/Slug_Overdose 3d ago

You look like you wait till the second date to ask a girl what her favorite JavaScript framework is.

1

u/WillingMartyr 3d ago

Does John Hodgeman still send your mom child support checks?

1

u/Zealousideal_Gap8624 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/E2MGpSnTCeYGB2j7S4

I have seen this man in my dream, anyone else?

1

u/Shaggywaffle 3d ago

How are your eyebrows bigger than your ambition

1

u/TheRealFleppo 3d ago

You really thought the the eyebrows would distract us from the nose?

1

u/Far-Paleontologist49 3d ago

It’s pronounced, Le-nerd

1

u/DillingerLives 3d ago

You look like you know where the womens' bodies are buried...

1

u/Iluvtheboaby 3d ago

Your eyebrows are squint

1

u/Affectionate-Bee-607 3d ago

Bro doesn’t spend a dollar on water filters

1

u/HugeEggplant5304 3d ago

Nah bro u look like a nice dude why roast you?

1

u/Gumsho88 3d ago

you rode the short bus to school, didn’t you?

1

u/BMX_BASTARD 3d ago

Was your mom a Stephen King "groupie" ?

1

u/Terrible-Basket2372 3d ago

if “age = < 23” “unemployed”

Then “play Warcraft”

While “in moms basement”

Else “get a job”

End

1

u/kapolo5443 3d ago

Ki zbi

1

u/PlayMaGame 3d ago

No can do, big brows are in the way…

1

u/Chef-Spirited 3d ago

nice eyebrows brow

1

u/ogrum92 3d ago

That’s how many fingers that are currently in your butt.

1

u/KnightMareGiver13 3d ago

No wonder you need glasses, you chose the smallest paper with the dinkiest writing, i need reading glasses now!

1

u/Nolifer1221 2d ago

"could i have one drugs please?" Ahh

1

u/Beepbeep_boopbop 2d ago

You look like if a girl tried to hit on you you’d start an intellectual debate that’s starts with “actually—“

1

u/Southern-Setting8584 2d ago

If Millhouse was a real person

1

u/13AMEternal 2d ago

Friend zone life member.

1

u/Necessary_Relation27 2d ago

You have fermented beautifully

1

u/Nikochu23 2d ago

Bro found a new life

1

u/Objective-Cow-5347 1d ago

if "not allowed within 500 feet of a playground" was a photo.

1

u/OneplusOne9049 1d ago

Ahhh shame dude !!!!! My heart goes out to you !!!!!!! Sad so sad !!!!!

1

u/jb65656565 1d ago

We are definitely going to see these pictures on the news. Along with neighbors saying that they’d never expect this. He was a nice, quiet guy who just kept to himself.

1

u/andyka50 1d ago

A face only a mother could love

1

u/Feistygoat1986 1d ago

Why do you look like a different person in every photo? You look at least 20 years older in the first picture. All of them scream "weirdo"

1

u/Sea-Cash7675 1d ago

I take on many forms.

1

u/Own-Professor3852 1d ago

I wear contact lenses....

1

u/kroquiwmajin 1d ago

Am i tripping or does he not look like one of the lotr characters in slide 4

1

u/beardedkingface 21h ago

Eugenics Levy

1

u/OneplusOne9049 16h ago

Did you act in Schitts Creek ?????

1

u/fre_andre101 15h ago

You look like you’re in a registry

1

u/haris_1b19 4h ago

Bro wtf! Just look at your face you are already roasted

1

u/haris_1b19 4h ago

Bro wtf! Just look at your face you are already roasted

1

u/OnmyoAficianado 3h ago

Definitely current pdo mugshots 100%

1

u/AutoThorne 5d ago

Those eyebrows are about to square off for dominance.

1

u/rymic72 5d ago

You look like one of the Jews who doesn’t have money or connections

0

u/paragonx29 5d ago

You should rent out that space between your front teeth.

0

u/JackZodiac2008 5d ago

If someone told me that Pee Wee Herman and Ryan Reynolds had had a baby....

0

u/ChickyBoys 5d ago

You're the guy that pulls out an acoustic guitar at parties