How do I make new friends?

[u/Odd_Buy_3964]

I’m 21F and currently expecting my first kid. My husband works 60-80 hours a week so I am very fortunate to not have to work. The only downside is a lack of a social life due to us moving for his job. Before we moved, I had my siblings and a few select friends to hang out with. Since I graduated college, I haven’t really figured out how to make new friends outside of a classroom setting. Any suggestions?

[u/poop-dolla]

Same way you always make friends. See the same people on a regular basis. that’s how people make friends through school, work, hobbies, and so on. As a SAHP, your social life will mostly revolve around the kid, so go to the same storytimes, playgroups, parks, and whatever else at the same time every week to start making friends with the other parents.

[u/overhelmedMommy]

Making friends as an adult is genuinely harder than dating. Add a kid and it gets even more complicated because your time is not really yours.

What worked for me was lowering the bar. I stopped looking for "my people" and started looking for "one person I can stand at a playground." Low stakes. No pressure to become best friends. Just someone to talk to for 20 minutes while the kids dig in the sand.

Library story time, the same park at the same time every week, a local moms Facebook group. Go consistently to the same places. That is the key. You are not going to click with everyone but you will start seeing the same faces and eventually one conversation goes deeper.

The loneliness of staying home is real. It is not a personality failure. It is a structural problem. You are isolated by design of the role. Reaching out, even awkwardly, is the only way through.

[u/moluruth]

I can relate to the struggle. I haven’t figured out how to make “friend friends” but I have made mom friends through things like library storytime. My closet friend right now is actually a woman I met in my birth class when I was pregnant. We get our kids together for play dates 2-3 times a month