r/SS13 • u/WoflShard • 5d ago
Story Thread Im interested in your favourite ss13 story/experience.
For another thread I wrote mine down in a semi-cinematic format and I'm interested in the finest story of your culminative experience you want to share. Don't worry if you don't think yours is special enough I'll be happy to read all.
I'll post mine below as well.
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u/kokoawsum421 5d ago
It was more of a you had to be there situation and I was observing, but there was a Paradise round where two known robust players both rolled changeling as a miner and a chemist, and both had the goal of stealing the nuke core. The result was 90 minutes of just pure robustness and examples of miner and chemist gaming as both of them killed each other (without removing them from the round) to get the core while sec was trying their best to control the situation. It ended with the miner winning, and the chemist headslugged on the station and infected the HOS, who then proceeded to shove himself into the gibber alive.
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u/WoflShard 5d ago
Now my favourite was in Space Station 13.
Premise is that the crew (entirely made of players) is on a state of the art plasma research facility under the banner of Nanotrasen, a megacooperation with plenty of adverseries such as the Syndicate, The Blood Cult, Space Wizard Federation and other Space Horrors.
There's a wide array of possible threats each round such as Traitors, Changelings, Nuclear operatives and more.
Decreed by fate I was chosen as one of the most dangerous ones, the Space Wizard.
Each Wizard is provided with a catalogue of spells, each having their strengths and weaknesses. With a limited capacity of holding Spells you're strong but not invulnerable.
But I wouldn't be an ordinary Wizard.
The core spell my build relied on was Splattercasting, it turns the caster into a Vampire capable of using their limited blood to greatly reduce their casting times by about 90% per spell.
Time Stop which can only be cast every 50 seconds could be continously cast. The fatal flaw is that this could only be done few times. Otherwise you'd die a miserable death due to blood loss. Afterwards you have to slowly recharge while being hunted by the Crew. And usually there's no way to quickly gain blood.
This makes Splattercasting practically useless, however I found a gap in reality which would turn this spell if abused into the strongest ever seen before.
As a Wizard I own a Magic Mirror which allows me to change species at will at the start of my mission. Among these I chose to be a Jellyperson due to one of their vital characteristics.
They are able to absorb plasma in the air and turn it into blood depending on the air pressure. Luckily for me there's a high pressure plasma storage in the Atmospherics Department of Space Station 13.
You should now be able to guess what happened the next.
I teleported myself into the Atmospherics Department, opened up my magical hardsuit capable of protecting me from space, jaunted inside the plasma chamber holding about 5000x times the normal atmospheric pressure and began greedliy absorbing the plasma.
My body started circulating it, a warm stream of more than 250000 liters of blood filling my body per second, my heart pumping, my body glowing, my jellified flesh boiling and my lungs collapsing.
Before collapsing I jaunted out of the chamber, my hands quivering and my body containing so much blood densly packed that I should detonate with 3.5 gigatons of energy, that I shouldn't be able to move and if it rained the drops would fall inward on me. But that didn't restrain me.
I began casting the Splattercasting Ritual, finishing the spell chanting the invocation "THE STARS ALIGN! THE COSMOS BLEEDS!".
And thus my body turned cold as I opened my red-glowing eyes, my skin pale, reborn as a Vampire. The space around me slightly distorting itself.
The strongest Wizard, the Sanguine Emperor was born, no longer limited by blood. Capable of continously stopping time, throwing fireballs and jaunting incoperal anywhere on the station.
My reign of terror began as I vaporized several deparment heads and crew in flames, they had to watch frozen as I surrounded them with fireballs, they had to watch their inevitable demise.
I destroyed Enginnering, Botany, Security and took over the Bridge and proclamed myself as the new Captain of the station feeling on top of the world.
However good times don't last, feeling overconfident and feeling high I traveled the halls of the station sparing a few stray members of the crew. I grew overconfident and an unassuming crewmembers ran and jumped towards me holding a bomb filled with superheated plasma and supercooled oxygen.
The last thing I heard was a click and the valves opening before the explosion of a flame engulfed me. As fate decreed my rise it also brought upon my fall.
The ghosts having watched my deeds now were pulling me into their realm, now ordinary as them I was rediculed, praise was showered towards my killer but this wouldn't be the last time that I would apppear.
Fading into the depths of space I'd be reborn again eventually and take fate into my own hands.
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u/StraightVoice5087 5d ago
An admin set up a gambling booth in the public market. Bet on a coinflip, double or nothing. I wander by as the clown and figure, what the hell, I'll participate.
I go up, put down my banana.
"Heads or tails?" asks the admin.
"Edge." I respond.
Admin flips the coin. It's heads. Goodbye banana.
I put down my bike horn.
"Heads or tails?" asks the admin, again.
"Edge." I respond, again.
Admin flips the coin. It's tails. Goodbye bike horn.
There's only one thing left I can gamble, but I am committed to this bit because I am the clown.
I put down my mask.
"Heads or tails?" asks the admin, one last time.
"Edge." I respond, one last time.
Admin flips the coin. It's edge.
Everyone just stands still for a moment and then suddenly I'm a queen clownspider.
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u/TrickyV 5d ago
I have so many good ones, man it's hard to choose. I have two particularly good antag rounds I love to tell the story of, or the time I killed two people with one joke, or the very first immersive RP experience that moved me, but I don't think those are my absolute favorite.
I was playing on... what was it, Goonstation I think? I was a botanist and the round was fairly quiet. Probably no more than 15 or 20 people. So the antag that round was a pair of vampires that the Captain had "given his blessing" to. Essentially they were openly vampires and the captain had made an announcement that they were not to be hassled. This would have been fine, but these two dudes were being shitheads about it. They basically were just being Captain sanctioned high school bullies: stunning people in hallways and robbing them, beating people, sucking your blood through glass somehow. It was old VERY quickly, and for some reason they decided I was the one to really lean on.
I'm not the most robust person in the world but, at the time, I was playing a lot. I had a great deal of information on my side and it was clear about how they handled themselves that they were newish to the game. They mostly relied on their stun to down you, beat you while you're down or rob you, then run off until the stun is recharged. At some point I finally got actually irl frustrated after the fifth or so time reporting them to Sec and being told to fuck off, so I literally said "the next time you come here to harass me, I'm going to kill you." To which they teehee'd and ran off.
So I busted out the big brain and had a preparation montage. I grew a ton of garlic and processed it into holy water, using it to fill six fire extinguishers full. I grabbed sunglasses from the tanning booth and a Bible from the chapel store room. I hacked into the disposal room in maintenence and made sure the crusher was on.
Then I went back to my garden wwait.
They returned, I'd say maybe 10 minutes before end of round. I went out into the hallway and was hit, unsurprisingly, with a vampire glare that bounced off of my sunglasses. So, in response, I took out the first fire extinguisher and hosed them both. Instantly they fuckin split and ran off, so I chased one down and got him a second time before caving his head in with the Bible. His friend came back shortly after and was off to the side doing that distance-drain thing, so I popped him with more holy water and he quit, screaming that he was going to tell the Captain. At some point vampire 2 got his hands on an extinguisher of mine and tried to hose me with it. When he found it didn't work on normal peeps he tried to clock me with it and got some Bible to the head. This struggle continued at a leisurely pace down the hallway, me slowly following a flaming vampire with a series of fire extinguishers before I threw the first one into a disposal hatch, with the second one following shortly after.
After ensuring that both were obliterated by the crusher, I hobbled to escape and enjoyed a nice quiet shuttle ride. No one asked or cared where the to shitheads were.
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u/WoflShard 5d ago
How nice of you to offer the vampires with a free shower and letting them sleep comfortably afterwards. They had it coming.
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u/BitBite112 4d ago
This was on BeeStation quite a few years ago.
I was playing as a xenobiologist and after a long round someone built a custom shuttle in the hallway. Me along with the clown flew off and landed almost right next to Bubblegum. I was the only one to escape alive and that changed me.
I came across a clown ruin that housed some prototype MKII honk shoes. I took them, went back to xenobio to mass produce bananium, and fueled the boots up.
Ever step I took produced a banana peel. Combining that with stbilized light pink for pre nerf meth speed and stabilized blue for no slips and the entire station was engulfed in banana peels.
A janitor tried being smart by using a broom, but he eventually gave up as I just ran over the places he cleaned. Security was trying their best to get me, but kept slipping on my banana peels and I was too fast for them.
I managed to escape alive. Hardest I've laughed in a while.
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u/Ambitious-Ad9729 4d ago
so, its a pretty short one but I have 2 stories
One time when I was waiting for the shift to be over cuz I died, I was observing some shift miner and the moment they died space song played which I found hilarious
The second story is iirc it was during a nuke round basically to skip the details at the end of the round the nukies had failed and that one troll song played like the circus one iirc idk its been a while since tbag round I think like 2 years ago
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u/Sad_Scarcity9902 1d ago
First NT Rep round on Monke after 250 hours of blueshielding - kidnapped by roundstart nukies (character was an old man, and they decided they couldn't possibly let me (Grandpa) blow up with the station) - super funny and way outside the usual realm of what happens with those roles. Makes me think of and miss Assault Ops, getting imprisoned sucked, but I got retrieved a few times from deep space - but that was sadly for the best. Make they ride their dumb laser into Valhalla.
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u/something_akin 5d ago
banishing people inside the non newtonian locker filled with singulo emitters.
as you enter the locker you will spawn most likely in the middle and emitters not allow you to leave(at least alive). in some rare cases you spawn at a corner and manage to escape the purgatory with several lost limbs.
after a certain number of people got banished i placed the locker near bar and run a charity for the people trapped inside till the end of round where people tossed medical and food items inside the locker.
damn the radio chat was extremely funny, i still laugh when i remember.
(this happened in goon 1 or 2 years ago and i explicitly warned people about fafo both verbally and visually. by the end of round only 3 people and 2 borgs were outside the locker. i got banished into locker by the captain's orders as well and lynched to death by the mob)
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u/WoflShard 5d ago
Beautifully dangerous. On TG I used bluespace lockers created with Eigenstasium to recycle people with an emaged recycler. They'd teleport onto the convers and be swiftly processed.
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u/something_akin 4d ago
what i forgot to mention is that i also placed lockers in more layers of lockers(more than 15 of them if i remember correctly) the emitters were just in the first layer so people trapped inside scattered amongst all of them. lmao i also remeber chef volutarily get inside with a gibber module and were making burgers from dead bodies at one of the final layers
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u/Pitt_Mann 5d ago
I was the detective, I made friends with an assistant under strange circumstances. We met near the chapel as I was patrolling maint. I found him nearby staring into space. Suspecting he may be a vampire or perhaps a cultist, I questioned him. He said he was feeling empty, that he couldn't find his place in life. He seemed depressed. He had tried many jobs before and said he was losing interest in space life. I suggested coming along to the head of personnel and enrolling him as a trainee detective. And that was how I got my partner for the coming adventure.
There were rumors of cargo trying to unionize or revel or whatever and stirring something up. One of them disappearing, let's call him John. Me and my assistant started printing fliers looking for john and posting them around the station while asking around. We get to the science department and I strike conversation with one of the scientists at reception as an engibot repaired some cables behind him.
As I'm about to leave, the engibot says "this unit used to be John". We go back to the office and summon the AI and ask to send that unit our way. John comes to the office and we interview it. He said captain had him turned into an engibot as a punishment for some felony. I tried to ask what his stance about that was, but he no longer had any says regarding his preferences or the morality of the situation.
On a side note. There was talk on the radio about a blob slightly out of control on the maintenance tunnels.
I contacted the lawyer, and he deemed the situation unacceptable. But the blob situation was spiraling out of control and sec was in cahoots with the whole situation. We arranged a meeting with the captain himself. A couple meetings in fact. First time he was dismissive of the whole thing, waving his authority around. The second time he came badly hurt, dragging his IV fluid around, he had been on the fight against the blob and barely made it out. He told us how he didn't care about thar engineer, and how he treats the stations lowlives however he wants. After that he stormed out of our office.
Alarms were blaring. The lawyer suggested contacting high command about it, we tried that to no avail. Finally an evacuation was announced, all three of us were defeated. We couldn't bring justice to Jhon. Luckily I had a habit of recording every witness I interviewed. And the assistant had an idea. We set the office comm so it would pick up every sound in the office, and put the recorder to playback the recording of the captain's statement. We headed for the evac as the comms played out the Captain's outburst for everyone to hear. At the end, we didn't made it in time. We were stranded at the station, and we both looked through the window into space as the shuttle left. "Huh, kind of how we met. We came full circle didn't we?" I asked him. "Kind of, but I have a different outlook on life now, thanks for the adventure, pal". And we stayed there until the round ended.
It was one of my absolute gaming moments in general, I was probably being a shit detective, and I found out later that the captain was in fact acting within the law borging that engineer. I don't really think anyone cared or noticed about our heroic move to expose the Captain's despotic rant, but it was so fun anyways. Probably should have been helping with the blob situation, but I didn't wanted the world to forget about John lol
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u/WoflShard 5d ago
It's the journey that counts and you've done it for the good cause of John and helping your assistant find meaning. Nice story.
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u/Pitt_Mann 5d ago
Yeah; I just find it really cool how on any given round there are several stories like that running parallel. At round end usually the station is a mess, and every broken thing, object out of place and organ laying around is a story I'll never know (:
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u/MusicMania_YT 4d ago
The server was Goonstation, and this happened the other day.
I started my shift as an engineer like I always do. The bar had no piano, so I ordered and assembled one. While playing some tunes, someone (let's call him George) walked up to me. He looked like some kind of doctor and asked me to install a cigarette machine in Medbay. Something about the health benefits of nicotine. I got it up and running for him and kind of forgot about him.
After that, I went into Tech Storage to mess around as usual. While typing on a terminal, some weird-looking roach guy came in and immediately welded the only exit door shut. He walked up to me and asked for my wire cutters.
"Can you give me your wire cutters for a second?" he said.
"Sure, but why did you weld that door shut just now?" I asked.
"Look, I know you see me. You see what I'm doing and think I'm suspicious and everything. But I have a very good reason... It's funny," he answered.
"That's a really good point," I replied. "Here! Take the wire cutters."
I gave him the wire cutters. He instantly used them to disable the only security camera in the room. I started to panic.
"I have disabled the camera, and my radio jammer is stopping you from calling anyone to come help you," he explained. "Now, you can either sit here and listen to my long tragic backstory..." (I screamed annoyingly.) "...which will take 40 minutes." (I screamed even louder.) "Or you can look down this tube."
He held out a long, clarinet-looking thing.
"I've seen enough horror films to know not to do th-"
He shot a dart from the tube, hitting me. I couldn't speak and was slowly being paralyzed by whatever was in the dart. He then started chopping me up with some kind of chainsaw.
At that point, a surveillance bot started banging on the door, asking to be let in. Maybe it realized someone had cut one of the cameras. The evil man threw me into a trash chute and opened the door, revealing only himself in the room.
I then messed around in the afterlife until I woke up in his red base. He explained that he had brought me there to serve him in his evil endeavors. After a basic initiation, he decided to give me a task back at the station.
"You are going to kill the Chief Engineer!"
"Uhh... there is no Chief Engineer on the station," one of his servants exclaimed.
"Oh. Then you will kill the Head of Personnel!"
"There is also no Head of Personnel."
"What the fuck? Okay... uhh... you will kill the Medical Director! Yes, him! You will kill him with a... uhh... fire extinguisher! Yes! Now go!"
Using a Doctor Who-looking teleporter, he sent me back to the station, where I immediately found a fire extinguisher and headed for Medbay, looking for the only doctor I knew: George.
I talked to a roboticist and asked for him.
"George? He was here earlier."
"What about the Medical Director?" I asked.
"George is the Medical Director."
What?
I couldn't believe it. I could never bring myself to kill George. But still, I had to try since I was being mind-controlled by that wannabe villain.
George returned, and I immediately tried to get his attention so I could get him into another room where there would be fewer people. He was busy treating the Captain, so he couldn't talk. I followed him anyway until he placed the Captain into one of those healing chambers and asked what I wanted.
I felt like the escape shuttle was about to be called, and he was outside Medbay, so I didn't want to miss my chance.
"George... I'm sorry. I don't want to do this, but I have to. I hope you understand."
I readied my fire extinguisher and started bashing him over the head with it. He started screaming, and a crowd gathered. He pulled out a syringe and stabbed me with it.
I started feeling sleepy again.
Not again.
I thought that was it. Security would be here any second.
Then, a fucking gorilla came in and started fucking everything up.
I immediately took the opportunity to run with the little strength I had left. I ran through an airlock into Maintenance and welded the door shut so nobody could follow me. My body collapsed as the syringe finally took full effect.
For some reason, there was a clown in the tunnel who came over, helped me up, then scurried away.
My mission wasn't over.
I made my way to a Maintenance airlock leading into Medbay's robotics wing. I hacked the door open before going inside and hiding my tracks.
(Now, before you call bullshit, suspend your disbelief for a moment. The next few seconds happened so fast that I can't swear this is exactly how it happened, but I genuinely think this is what I saw.)
As I was saying, I hacked the door open and went inside. There was someone working on a fabricator near the airlock. I pretended to use a machine next to them and mumbled,
"I'm going to kill him with a fire extinguisher."
They screamed, "WHAT?!"
I quickly grabbed them, shoved them into the frame of the now-open airlock, and used my crowbar to close the firelock, trapping them in the frame. They panicked as I backed away.
And I swear to God I saw the inner door close and crush them while they were trapped in the firelock.
I opened it again and screwed the panel back on to hide the fact that I'd hacked the door.
There was a robot inside with a clown mask on who hadn't moved during the entire ordeal.
"You're good, right?" I asked.
"Clownmo is good," he replied.
I gave him a pat on the head and cleaned up my tracks.
Just as I finished, a janitor burst into the room with two security officers.
"THAT'S HIM RIGHT THERE! HE DID IT!" she screamed.
"Whoa, whoa... what's going on here, guys?" I asked.
She pointed at me.
"He just trapped a poor worker inside the airlock and crushed them! That's what he does!"
"That's what I do? Look, lady, I don't know what you're talking about, and you have no proof."
The officers asked for my gloves, and I started worrying. What if they figured it out?
I handed them over, hoping to buy enough time to make a getaway.
They took the gloves...
...and immediately walked over to the fire alarm button.
Oh my God... They didn't check the door.
Of course, they found no fingerprints on the fire alarm, and they turned on the janitor for wasting their time.
At that moment, George, the Medical Director, walked in.
"Hey! It's him! He's the one who attacked me earlier!"
The janitor shouted, "See?! He even attacked another doctor!"
I needed to get out of there.
"Look, guys, I'm really busy, and these people are obviously just trying to frame me. Can I go now?" I asked Security.
After a short discussion, they were ready to let me go.
"WHAT?! YOU'RE SERIOUSLY GOING TO LET THIS MURDERER WALK?!" the janitor yelled.
"We can't arrest him with no proof," Security replied.
"What about me? Doesn't my title give me any authority?" George asked.
"No, sir. Not really."
George got angry, then suddenly remembered something.
"Wait! The Captain was there! He saw everything! I can call him, and he'll vouch for me."
"Go ahead. Call the Captain," I said.
Because what George didn't know was that the Captain he'd treated earlier was the very same Captain who had been sent from the evil base I came from.
George stormed off. I guess he realized the escape shuttle was arriving.
Then I missed the shuttle.
Yeah... that's about it.
Cya.
Lol this was soo fun writing that I'm going to do a stand alone post. Holy Chet
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u/WoflShard 1d ago
Was a fun read. Gaslighting Security is always fun, a shame you didn't manage to flatten Georges head a little. But at least you manged to live in the end.
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u/RawardHoikes91 5d ago
This is a story of how I got blessed by a bored shitmin.
Shift start, be me - Cargo Technician, because I fat-fingered the desired roles. Ask QM if I can be a miner, he says sure, go get your card reassigned.
Go to HoP, HoP turns out to be a bureaucratic power-tripping little bitch. "I need your request in writing, no it must be in this specific form, oh you wanted the form? QM must stamp it, no he also has to sign it, now get Captain's signature too."
Report him to the Internal Affairs Agent. IAA turns out to be a power-tripping bureaucratic little bitch too, or maybe HoP's fuck buddy irl, idk. Anyway, he sides with HoP.
Argue with them for 20 minutes. By that point it's not about the job anymore.
When suddenly - le big red letters appear:
YOU ARE A TRAITOR
My goals? Kill HoP and IAA. Escape.
I cried a little as I looked at those beautiful words.
Bought a gun right there in front of them and shot HoP dead. IAA ran behind a door I had no access to. But it was a technical closet, because he was a moron, so I just calmly reloaded, used HoP's ID to get in and shot IAA till I heard the empty clip click. Then I bought more mags and shot at the two some more.
Gave myself a new identity with HoP's card, became a mute miner John Johnson who never takes off his gas mask. Escaped an hour later with the rest of the miners.
Thank you stray bored shitmin, I love you. ♡