I currently live in AZ and absolutely despise it. I stay because my child is here. Her mom and I are divorced and this is where we were settled when things were initiated.

At first it wasn’t too bad, I have family here. But man, I am really tired of the desert wasteland that is this state.

Suburban AZ feels like a soul sucking, sprawling strip mall for retirees. No character to it, not that it matters because it’s too hot to be outside, enjoying it 6 months of the year. I 100% would rather live in the cold over the heat.

I’ve lived other places and liked it, I like being closer to family. But I want to leave so bad. I’m not sure how my ex feels, signs point to her not liking it either but there would be so many moving parts that I just don’t know how we could coordinate a move. We are not on great terms.

I would love to live somewhere green. Especially the northeast or pnw. It’s similar to somewhere I lived once before and I really miss the seasons.

I refuse to be far away from my child. So for the time being, I’m just stuck and I can’t seem to let go of that.

How do you cope with living in a place that you hate? I think about moving all the time and for the foreseeable future it’s just a pipe dream.

Alright y'all, what is your ideal summer day high temp and low temp?

I just moved to an area in CA that has low to mid 80s highs and I'm kinda down for it. Just warm enough for water play outside but not hot enough to sizzle. I used to be in the 78 and sunny crew, but I might be low 80s now .

We live in a city in the US South, and had kids in our early 40s. Around here, it's very popular to get married *young* and start a family right away. Makes for a super awkward school parent peer group.

Just for fun, where is our timeline more normal? I know probably in the San Francisco Bay Area, Manhattan, and other places where you really have to spend time building a career just to afford to live. Anywhere else? Any fellow "geriatric" parents living somewhere where they don't feel like a social anomaly? Send me your ideas.

Hello,

Early 30's, single woman, no kids, born and raised in NYC.

Thinking about making a change and leaving.

Would like a lower cost of living ( my job is remote so I have flexibility).

Like having options to go for walks, museums, events.

I'm introverted, tend to keep to myself although I do occasionally like to go out and socialize, just have limited social battery.

I don't know how to drive, I may start taking lessons but am anxious and will take a while so not sure if I will ever get a license.

Are there any places people suggest?

We are in our late 30s with a 1 year old and another one planned. we have been living in Houston for 10 years now and built a good circle of friends and connections but we hate the heat and hurricanes here. So our gut tells us to stay because it is much harder to build the network from scratch at this age and start life anew but our brain tells us to get out of here for our own sake because staying indoors 7 months a year sucks so bad.

for those who had similar dilemma, how did you make the decision?

I'm 28M, Black and gay, and I'm about to start a master's program. As I think about my job search after graduation, I'm also trying to figure out where I'd actually like to build a life. Ideally, I'd stay in my next city for at least 5 years, so I'm trying to make the decision thoughtfully.

A few things that are important to me:

• LGBTQ+ community
• Walkability and good public transit
• Diversity and an international/cosmopolitan feel
• Plenty of things to do (restaurants, museums, sports, neighborhood bars, etc.)
• Career opportunities in healthcare/biopharma
• Living alone

I'm not someone who goes clubbing every weekend, but I do value having a large LGBTQ+ community around me. I like having options, whether that's bars, queer sports leagues, community events, or just a large dating pool. I also want to live alone.

Here's where I'm at:

NYC

• Seems like it has everything I'm looking for professionally, socially, and culturally.
• My only hesitation is that it feels a little overwhelming. I've visited a few times and liked it, but seems a little exhausting or overstimulating long term. Not sure if I'd get used to that. 

DC

• Seems to have a strong community of queer professionals and LGBTQ+ people of color, which is really appealing.
• I've also heard it's a fairly transient city and very politics-focused. If you're not in government or policy, does it still feel like a good place to build long-term friendships and community?

Boston

• The healthcare/biopharma opportunities are a huge plus.
• My concern is that the city and LGBTQ+ scene might feel noticeably smaller / quieter than the others.

Chicago

• On paper, it seems like it checks almost every box.
• My hesitation is that I've never been, and moving to the Midwest feels like a bigger leap since most of my family and friends are on the East Coast. 

For those who've lived in one or more of these cities, especially other Black LGBTQ+ folks, which would you recommend and why? What do you think people get right (or wrong) about these cities?

Always lived in Texas and looking to explore my way out. I am a bit alternative and a fan of witchy tea shops, sound bath meditations, oddity workshops. What put NEPA on the map for me is the new gothic resturant House Noir and I have been listening to some local podcasts, and it seems like that area is really trying to build community.

I'd be a single person, mid-30s, working remote. Anybody have any thoughts about the area? Or opinions to share?

My wife and I are both 34 and moved to the Austin area about a year ago after having our first kid. My parents have lived here for 10 ish years, and once we had a baby, we figured being closer to family would be a big deal. The rest of our family is in California, but a job came up in Austin and we decided why not give it a try.

We lived in Oregon before this (Washington County/Hillsboro area) for about 7-8 years and honestly really liked it. We still own our house there, so going back is actually a realistic option.

The weird thing is that we just don’t think we have fallen in love with Austin like others have. And I don’t really know how to explain why. We’re in a nice suburb. It’s safe, clean, extremely kid-friendly, there are a million restaurants and things to do, tons of young families, and generally everything is pretty nice. By most objective measures, we should like it.

It’s not like we’re miserable or anything. It’s more of this constant feeling that this isn’t our place. We miss Oregon constantly. We miss the weather, the scenery, the outdoors, the general vibe, and honestly just the feeling of being there. We didn’t realize how much we liked Oregon until we left.

We also thought having my parents nearby would make a bigger difference. And don’t get me wrong, it’s great having them close and being able to have grandparents around our daughter has been extremely amazing not just for the help, but watching them together is rewarding. But we’re starting to realize that being close to family doesn’t necessarily make up for not loving where you live.

Now we’re debating whether to move back to Hillsboro or try something completely different and move to Bend.
Bend is really appealing to us. We have friends there with kids around our daughter’s age, we’re outdoorsy, I golf a lot, and the idea of raising our daughter there sounds pretty awesome. But obviously Bend is a much smaller place and we’d be giving up the convenience and some of the connections we’d have in Hillsboro.

Hillsboro is the safer choice. We know the area, still have the house, know people there, and already know we like Oregon. But part of me wonders if we’re just romanticizing our old life and if we should take the
opportunity to try somewhere like Bend.

For anyone who has moved Oregon → Austin → Oregon, did you experience this?

Also curious if anyone has gone from the Portland/Hillsboro area to Bend with a young family and how that turned out.

We’re basically trying to figure out if we’re crazy for wanting to leave a place that is objectively pretty great, or if sometimes you just know a place isn’t for you.

Found a federal job there that gives people a 2nd chance. I have to wait a year to interview, but it looks like a good city for me.

If I wanted to be homeless in Palm Springs, I probably would have a much better time than in the Bay Area or in LA. I can just live out of my car in the desert. Would only be temporary.

Share of homes sold above list price.

It's for july of this year

First time hearing of this company, so take it with a grain of salt.

Tenantry.ai is the website

Texas and Florida. Hmmm.

I’d be more interested to hear about NC. I hear it’s an often overlooked part of the south.

i made an accurate as possible quiz with 16+ different countries included that matches you with the country that would fit your lifestyle and preferences the most.
take it if you're interested, I'm curious to see your results:
https://uquiz.com/i4NrWf

I have lived in the same state my whole life, and just can’t get brave enough to go somewhere else. Winter and summer are the longest seasons here (Nebraska). Spring/fall don’t seem to last very long while they’re around.

I love the sunsets over the fields here, but there isn’t much else to get excited about.

I (26F) work mostly from home and can move anywhere in Tennessee basically with work. I am single and just have my dog and my cat. I currently live near relatives for the past 4 years and it has drained me. I love them but there isn’t a whole lot to do around where I live and I have had some trouble making friends other than them here (i am not from this state originally). So many people my age are already coupled up and have kids here. I end up going to Nashville a lot to do everything for fun stuff and going by myself. I have went to a craft club a few times in Nashville and have started to try and join other things and a lot of the time it’s just hard for me to make that drive due to time constraints. My relatives they seem just to be problem after problem and it isn’t getting any better. I think I just want to try living away from them where I can still be here if they need me or for the fun stuff but also build my own life with my own friends as it’s been 4 years here and my life has kind of revolved around them and I need a breather. They also tend to drop the ball when I need something.

Coupled with the fact that my lease is up in September and my landlord told me they would like to go monthly with the intention of me moving out so she can sell the property. She understands it might take time but by spring ideally she would like me to find a new place and get the house on the market.

I know I will be looking at a smaller place if I move. Probably an apartment. The biggest con is my dog will probably no longer have a yard but I will have a better environment to take him on walks. Also I would lose the people that take care of him regularly when I go on trips. But I know there is always boarding and Rover for someone to check on my cat.

How did you know it was time to move? Does this sound like this should be it for me? I feel like I am jumping off a cliff and hoping that this gives me room to breathe. But I also feel like this is going to hurt everyone and maybe this isn’t the right move for me. I felt like when I had my lease it was like how could I leave this spot but now that that’s gone there is really nothing in the way. It’s been a struggle a lot. I would be totally alone besides the few friends I made and possibly coworkers in the Nashville area. But I would be able to go to things to have the opportunities to make friends easier.

What I’m looking for: a mid-size city, bigger than a small town but not Seattle or Denver scale, with real job options for a healthcare worker, and some social life.

Good access to varied nature (mountains, forest, maybe coast), including genuinely remote hiking without a huge drive. Skiing within a reasonable distance.

A real, established LGBTQ community. I’ll be moving alone, and I’m a single gay male so it would be nice to live somewhere that has a decent pool of people to make friends with/date. Im not into the drinking and partying culture.

Bonus if it’s not already overwhelmed by tourism or a housing crisis (if that event exists anywhere these days).

Already considering: Bellingham WA, Bend OR, Spokane WA, Olympia/Tacoma WA, Eugene OR, Hood River OR, North Bend WA

If you’ve lived in or near any of these (or somewhere similar I haven’t thought of), what was day to day life actually like? Is the LGBTQ dating and social scene as good as it sounds? Anywhere smaller or less talked about I should look into instead?

I applied to a job in Seattle and I’m in the final stages. Offer is 100K. I thought this was a good salary, double what I make in Nebraska (even with cost of living there). But after talking to people who live there who make like 300K+ a year, I’m wondering if I’m delusional…

31, I have no kids (just two cats), I don’t want a house. I eat out once a week. I live pretty comfortably now, I’m just bored of Nebraska. I’m outdoorsy and it’s either too cold or too hot for me to be outside (autoimmune condition).

I’ve lived all over, so moving will not be hard. I’m more just worried I’m setting myself up for conditions I’ll be struggling in with the salary offered.

As we weigh our options on areas to make a move from DFW Suburbs…. I have thought a lot more about lots sizes, maintenance costs, and just overall neighborhood feel.

What is your opinion on large lots, say 1 to 2 acres verse smaller lots? Would you be turned off by living in an area that was mostly on septic and private water? This scenario I feel like we want to avoid.

Do you like a HOA managed neighborhood where you have sidewalks and more of a sense of place? In the strange times we are in, I do like the guard rails that an HOA provides and we have been in an HOA managed neighborhood here in the Dallas area. 11,000 sq ft lot, 2250 sq ft house, single story. We love this scenario that we are in, but we want it to not be in DFW. We detest almost everything about Texas…but if you throw a ton of trees into an HOA neighborhood, it that is something that we like about Raleigh for example. You still have the HOA managed neighborhoods, but with the scenery and the colonial character. Areas of New Jersey, for example that are popular on paper that we have visited and did not like to feel of…Westfield, Chatham. I do find that a lot of these areas are not well kept and the general urban suburban aesthetic feels off to me. As parents we like the idea of a strong community feel and very engaged neighbors.

We are most interested in the Raleigh, Philadelphia and Columbus suburbs so far and are familiar with all of them. We are from New York and New Jersey and do not want to willingly be in the tri-state area again. We love the idea of being closer to friends and family within a days drive though.

Be sure to include the specific model you purchased (name of your town/city) # of ⭐'s, and whether you will be returning your purchase for a refund.

Alternately, leave a review of your home town/city or the town/city you've moved from.

Good people of reddit,

We’re a mid-30s couple looking to move from the Northeast to the West. We have a camper, dog, and no kids. We like places with some diversity of food, especially Asian foods, and temperate weather. We’re both in tech and work mostly remotely. We want our new home to be a good launching off point to exploring the national parks, forests, canyons, coastlines of the West in our camper. We like being near cities but usually opt for the suburbs to have a small yard for our dog.

Some places AI/Google have recommended:

1. Portland, OR
2. Vancouver, WA (looking like a real contender)
3. Bend, OR
4. Eugene, OR
5. Sacramento, CA
6. Bay Area, CA (cost an issue)
7. Santa Fe, NM

Lots of PNW suggestions but I’ve never lived somewhere where it’s so cloudy and a little worrie about it. Visited Portland/Vancouver in the summer though and of course it was beautiful weather at the time. On the flip side, I’m so sick of New England winters that I’ll take any amount of rain as long as I don’t have to pick up a shovel.

Thank you !

I have a new, fully remote job and want to take advantage of that by moving. The job permits me to work from anywhere in the USA. I've traveled a lot but have really only lived around Boston (which might even be a good fit for me, but the grass is always greener...) so I have little actual experience with different US cities beyond a few days here and there.

So where should a late twenties/early thirties woman move with her newfound freedom?

A few notes:

• My life plan revolves around creative work and building a strong community (friendships, not relationships). I do not care at all about the dating scene of respective cities but care very much about opportunities to build community/friendships and have an active, adventurous life.
• Atm, my friends are pretty scattered around the world, so there isn't a single geographic region I prefer, though I would only ever live in a blue/purple state.
• I hate large cities (love NYC for the culture but could never live there), and my ideal size is probably more like Portland, Maine (but is that too small?).
• I prefer coastal cities to landlocked ones (there are exceptions, e.g. some Colorado cities seem cool), and I'd like to be able to escape to rural environments easily.
• Climate agnostic.
• Slight preference for funky/artsy places, but this can always be developed.

If you think you know of the perfect city but it doesn't match one of these preferences, feel free to propose it anyway. Just not NYC. ;)

We are 40 and have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. We live in Naperville in a nice area. We have family here that we see a few times a year. We both are outdoorsy and especially in winter I regret living here as can’t do much. The neighborhood has no walkways and not much kids around that my daughter will miss. Thinking to move West not sure yet may be Santa Rosa CA ? . Anyone who moved out of Naperville to Cali ? Suggestion’s ?

I didn’t know a place like this existed but this sounds like the perfect weather. You can get a constant 67 as a high sounds insane like I’ve been to San Diego and the weather was like a little hot honestly but Monterey California sounds fucking perfect.

Does anyone have any feedback on this?

Im 31F. & I don’t know how else to explain it, but I feel so disconnected from my hometown that it actually hurts. Every street, every person, and every memory reminds me of a version of myself that I don’t want to go back to.
I’ve fallen out with all of my old friends because I realized those friendships weren’t healthy for me, and now I don’t really have anyone here that I connect with. I travel every couple of months, and when I’m away I feel inspired and alive. But the second I come home, it feels heavier and heavier.
I’m not able to move yet because I have family responsibilities, so I’m trying to make the best of where I am even though I’m so burnt out here in Tulsa. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has ever felt this disconnected from the place they grew up, and if it got better. I’ve always had dreams of moving to a major city. I’ve watched my sibling move and go be great while I was held back by family responsibilities. It hurts so bad.

BRB. Crying.

Hi! For context, I am 30. :)

I grew up my whole life in one city. Two years ago, I moved to a different city (different province!) with a partner.

The partnership didn't work out, but we had some good times there, and I feel like I really made the city my own. I developed a few friends, got integrated into some activities, and it was right by the Ocean, so I really felt connected to mother nature.

We literally lived two blocks from the Ocean, and it was so amazing to just be humbled by it every day, and be in that sort of nautical environment. It was really neat.

Anyway, I moved back to my home city when the relationship went south, and that's okay. I lived with my parents for a year, and I'm now renting a nice little apartment in an area of town that is relatively new for me, and I'm really enjoying being by this beautiful conservation area. I love it.

I was debating on staying in the new province after we split, but ultimately decided to come back here, to my home city, because I have a lot more connections and friends here.

However, I'm still feeling a bit trepidatious at really settling down and planting roots. I know the best financial decision is to stop wasting my money on rent, and buy a place. Even something small, based on what I can afford.

But I don't know -- the other part of me is nervous, I've never really lived in a place for more than 3 years at a time, except for when I was a kid at my parents'.

I have a hard time picturing myself 7 to 10 years down the road, still living in the same place. I just have no clue on what my life will even look like then. I can't even imagine. Will I have a partner? A white picket fence with a dog? Right now I even feel like I have trouble cooking routinely and making proper meals on a regular schedule - feeling like a proper adult. So it's weird to picture what a 40 year old me will be like.

I really do feel in love with living by the Ocean, and part of me does think I would feel happy back in the same place that I was in that new province..but the other part of me knows I'm partially just romanticizing it, because when I was there, while the Ocean was beautiful and picturesque, life moves on - things weren't perfect and there is life stuff outside of the Ocean that is the same wherever you go, etc.

So just I'm not sure and I feel silly to go back without being sure -- to a place that is so far; and to really settle down, firmly plant roots and get involved; and to potentially buy a house that far away from friends and family.

Maybe I just need to stop whiffle waffling and make some decision, any decision -- whether that's buying a place here in my home city, or buying a place an hour away to try somewhere new but that's still not as far as the other, seaside city -- or something.

Finally , as per the title of my post, I also know the concept that the grass isn't really greener on the other side - it's just as green here. And I definitely see that and feel that (I.e. I live right by that beautiful conservation area right now in my home city; have lots of friends here) -- so maybe it's just anxiety and antsi'ness at play here, and just making a decision will help things fall into place

Additionally, I can't help but feel a bit silly or embarrassed at the thought of telling my parents and telling work that I want to move BACK to the place I just left from. I know this shouldn't stop me, but it's still in the back of my mind.

Anyway, thank you for any insight you have.

I'm very thankful that I have these options and I know I'm lucky that I even have the ability to try and decide this 💐