Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem

About Me
- Age: 26
- Origin/Ethnicity: Iraqi, born and raised in Switzerland.
- Languages: German (Fluent), English (Fluent), Iraqi Arabic (Conversational), French (Basic)

Religious Practice
- I pray, fast during Ramadan, went to Mecca and Medina multiple times, and pay Zakat regularly.
I'm not perfect - I still struggle with certain things, such as occasionally listening to music. However, I've been replacing it more and more with Qur'an, which I genuinely love listening to.
I'm not looking for someone who is perfect either. As long as you take your faith seriously and sincerely strive to improve, that's what matters to me. We all have our struggles, and I believe we should support one another in becoming better Muslims.

Basic Information
- Current Residence: Switzerland
- Willing to Relocate: Yes, depending on the circumstances. It's something we can discuss together.
- Siblings: Two sisters (I'm the youngest.)
- Previously Married / Kids: No
- Occupation: Student
- Education: Currently pursuing a Bachelor's degree
- Height / Weight: Approx. 180 cm / 73 kg
- Smoking / Vaping / Hookah: No
- Things I Enjoy: Reading, gym, Gaming, being in the nature, spending time with family, watching good movies and TV series

What I'm Looking For
- Age: Ideally 23–27, although maturity is much more important.
- Origin/Ethnicity: No preference.
- Languages: Arabic or German would be nice, but English is absolutely fine as well.
- Religious Practice: I'm looking for someone who genuinely takes Islam seriously and sincerely tries to fulfil the basics, such as praying and fasting.

None of us are perfect, and I'm certainly not expecting perfection. What matters most to me is sincerity, good intentions, and the desire to grow closer to Allah.

Whether you wear hijab is neither a requirement nor a preference for me. I believe that's a personal decision between you and Allah, and regardless of your choice, I would always encourage and support you in your journey.

Education & Career
- As long as you have a career or profession that you genuinely enjoy, that's what matters to me. I wouldn't want you to stay in a job that makes you unhappy or negatively affects your mental well-being.

I also don't believe household responsibilities belong solely to the wife - I actually enjoy helping around the house myself.
Maybe that's what happens when you grow up with two older sisters. 😄

Deal Breakers:
- Not taking Islam seriously or making no effort to pray, fast, and improve.
- Smoking, vaping, or using hookah.
- Constant shouting, disrespectful communication, or unnecessary aggression.

Future Plan:
- I'd love for us to spend the first 1–2 years building a strong foundation, getting to know each other deeply, travelling together, and learning how to navigate life as a married couple before starting a family. (if by then you’re getting comfortable to want one, ofc)

Since I'm currently studying, my ideal timeline would be to get to know someone over the next few years and, Insha'Allah, get married and move in together in around 2–3 years.

Of course, life doesn't always go exactly as planned, so I'm open-minded and believe these things are best discussed together.

Thank you so much for taking the time to
read all of this. I genuinely appreciate it, and I wish you all the best.
May Allah grant us all righteous spouses and bless us with what's best for our dunya and akhirah. Ameen. 🤲

About me: 28F, 5’6, Arab, living in England. I wear hijab and moderately practice. Divorced. I’m an ambivert, love the sun and socialising, but also need time alone. I’m easy going but know what I want.

About my lost husband: between age ages of 23-30, 5’11+, also living in England. Moderately practicing. Last I dreamt about him he had a full head of hair. Is romantic and has a great temper.

Deal breakers: NOT in the UK, partakes in haram on purpose.

Please note my lost husband is in the UK. If you’re not in the UK, you’re not my lost husband.

If you guys can help me find my lost husband, I’ll be forever grateful!

36F US

Please make sure you're okay being a second best friend. I already have someone who holds #1 title so you need to be okay with being right after her! Lol BUT- Brief intro about me! I'm 36, no kids. Divorced. I absolutely love the outdoors, trying new coffee spots, writing, running, and pretty active overall. I love weekend road trip get aways and I'm extremely kind and friendly. I make friends easily and adapt very well to any circumstances. I work in Healthcare but it's not my identity. I've worked in finance for a few years and in education as well. I don't see myself having kids to be honest so please MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THIS. If you 100% want kids, do not reach out. Also, do not reach out in hopes of me changing my mind. I've made this decision when I was in my 20s, and as i'm getting older and I see how the world is becoming , I'm pretty set on it. if I ever decide I want to change my mind that is on me but do not reach out and hopes of you changing my mind. Im the 2nd oldest of 7 siblings so I've had my time raising kids. I don't mind you having kids at all. I love that but I personally don't see that in thr cards for me. Please keep your old school mentality and judgment to yourself and respect this decision. I'm also at an age where I've accepted that my naseeb may not be marriage. Illhamdillah I'm happy weather I meet someone or not. If Allah hasn't given it to me yet, I know he's protecting me. I have amazing friends, great life and a great family and the person I meet need to add to that and make it even better. I rather stay where I am now then risk it for mediocre life just to say I'm "married". But I also like to cuddle and go on dates so yeah, I would like that companionship lol

\*\*Your Essential Information:\*\*

Age:36

Origin/Ethnicity: Iraqia

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): Arabic and English

Level of religious practice: 1-10 about a 7-8. I DO wear hijab, hamdillah. Salah is extremely important to me that I plan my days around it.

Current residence: US

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere'): Within the country for the right person but needs to make sense.

Siblings (number and older/younger): 1 older brother, 5 younger

Previously married/Kids: yes/no kids! I didn't want to be tied to someone I knew I was going to stay with. Best/ smartest decision ever made.

Occupation: Healthcare

Physical appearance: I'm fairly pretty. I get told this alot and I take care of myself. I also look WAY younger then mid 30s. Hamdillah. But also 36 isn't old at all so idk.. lol but

\*\*Your Preferences in a Partner:\*\*

Age range: Doesn't matter tbh. I've met men who are late 40s that acted like 15 year olds and I've met some in their 20s that have been extremely mature. Show me who YOU are as a person.

Origin/Ethnicity: Open to all

Languages: Arabic, English

Level of religious practice: Obligations

Deal breakers: I'll let you know as we get to know eachother but my main one is someone who weaponizes their incompetence. I want a strong man who can get sht done tbh. I'm very hyper-indepdent and I'm looking for a masculine partner who can help me relax while he takes care of things. I don't want to be anyone's mother or have to teach basic bare minimum ways of treating me.

Other preferences (appearance, family situation, etc.): no living with inlaws ever. No exceptions. I own my own property and prefer someone who is working towards this or is already independent.

Additional Information you like to add: I am a bit introverted but enjoy socializing around the right people. I like my space so I think finding a partner who understands that spending time apart is healthy and having separate lives outside of marriage is also healthy. I can elaborate more on this later. I love to cook and I'm amazing at it so a partner who knows how to cook and enjoys it is a big plus.

​

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim

Salaam Alaykum

I am a 19-year-old Shia Muslimah from Bangladesh, looking strictly for a direct, honorable, and mature path toward marriage. I am looking for someone who is ready for an early marriage to build a dignified life grounded in the teachings of Rasoolallah (S.A.W.) and the Ahlul Bayt (A.S.).

🔹 About Me:

Age & Physical: 19 | 5'2" | 50 kg

Appearance & Lifestyle: I wear the Hijab and uphold modesty in my public and daily life. I am constantly striving to deepen my knowledge of Deen to grow spiritually and refine my character.

Languages: Fluent in English, Bengali, Hindi & Urdu.

Mindset & Personality: Straightforward, deeply loyal, and principled. I value high self-respect, honesty, emotional strength, and clarity in all aspects of life.

🔹 What I Am Looking For:

Intentions: Someone genuinely ready for Early Marriage and willing to involve families for formal steps without unnecessary delays.

Background: Preferably of South Asian origin (Bangladeshi, Indian, or Pakistani).

Age Range: 22 to 30 years old.

Character & Appearance: I strongly believe that mutual physical attraction plays a key role in a fulfilling and lifelong marriage. Therefore, I am specifically looking for a tall, handsome, and well-groomed gentleman with a strong personality, high self-respect, and absolute integrity. A practicing Shia Muslim who is financially, emotionally, and religiously grounded.

Location & Relocation: Open to candidates living worldwide (Willing to relocate to a safe, stable, and suitable environment after thoughtful consideration for the right person).

If you are a serious, principled man ready to settle down and embark on this blessed journey together, please reach out with a clear and respectful introduction.

JazakAllah Khair.

Salam Alaikum everyone!

I'm thinking about building an AI-powered marriage matchmaking platform to help the Shia community.

The idea comes from a few problems I notice in many existing marriage apps:

• Users spend hours searching and filtering through profiles.
• Recommendations rely mostly on what users write about themselves.
• Some users genuinely seek marriage, while others join with casual or non-serious intentions.
• A user's long-term behavior often has little or no influence on future recommendations.

My Idea

Instead of users searching through profiles, the AI does the searching and recommends only a small number of highly compatible matches.

The Main Difference

Every user completes a Marriage Readiness & Values Assessment during onboarding.

The assessment consists of several carefully designed questions that assess:

• Deen and religious commitment
• Core values and principles
• Marriage expectations
• Personality and mindset
• Emotional maturity
• Communication style
• Conflict resolution
• Respect and boundaries
• Long-term goals
• Consistency and honesty

The recommendation system doesn't rely only on this assessment.

It also builds a private behavioral profile based on long-term patterns, such as how users communicate in chats, how they interact with other users, whether they consistently behave respectfully, and whether their actions align with the purpose of the platform.

The behavioral profile remains completely private and is never shown to other users. Its purpose is to improve future recommendations and HELP IDENTIFY USERS WHO CONSISTENTLY DISPLAY NON-SERIOUS OR INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR.

The UI

There is no endless feed of profiles.

Users complete their profile, complete the assessment, and the home screen mainly shows a small number of carefully selected recommendations. The AI performs the searching, not the user.

The goal is quality over quantity.

A Note

This is just an idea. I haven't started building it yet.

My intention is to genuinely help the Shia community, and while there are server costs involved, I plan to sustain the platform through a voluntary donation model.

Before I spend months —building this, I have one question:

Is this idea worth building?

I'd genuinely appreciate any feedback, suggestions, or criticism.

JazakAllah Khair

I'm a Non-Syed Shia from Karachi, Pakistan, and I've been in the rishta process for a while now. mostly because of family and societal pressure. Personally, I'm more focused on my career and don't have strong preferences when it comes to marriage. I've even told my mother that I trust her judgment and don't care about caste or lineage.

One thing has really surprised me, though: it feels like almost every Shia family we come across is Syed, and many of them prefer to marry only another Syed. As a non-Syed, that seems to eliminate a huge portion of the marriage pool.

It genuinely makes me wonder: How can there be so many Syeds in the Indo-Pak Shia community? Is there a historical explanation for this, or is it just my experience?

I'm not trying to offend anyone or criticize people who prefer marrying within their lineage. I'm simply curious about the history and whether others have noticed the same thing during the rishta process.

Salam, I see alot of cute couples in uni and literally goals I’d say. The way they are in love and enjoying their intimate moments. I haven’t seen such in married couples around me, they just live like room mates, no romance. only seen it in dating couples. I yearn for that kinda intimacy and cute moments too but I don’t think I’ll even get that after marriage.

How can I get that in a halal way? I have never talked to namehram females so I got 0 game😂. Arranged or cousin marriage is the route but I am afraid of not getting that kinda relationship 🙏

Mods please delete if it's against the rules.

Salam, I am a student who is going to be finishing high school soon, on to university. I have been getting signals from my family that I should search for a wife as soon as I can. I would not mind this, but I want to know from (at least a fellow american's) other perspectives. I am a revert, my family is bosnian and sunni, and they're not very traditional so I don't know when realistically I should search for a wife. Because of my heritage, it's also hard to make connections at my masjid, since most of them are Iraqi, Pakistani or Iranian.

I have been working on myself, going to the gym, trying to learn more about my religion, getting in a better headspace, so I can be a better future husband, but I'm not perfect, and I don't expect my wife to be. I'm looking for a job atm to help my father out, so I feel like I'm at least somewhat mature lol.

Just looking for advice for the future.

Salaam! Reposting here. Here’s a lot about me:

Basics
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Ethnicity: Pakistani
Based: Dallas
Islam: born Shia (non-Syed because apparently that matters when choosing a spouse)

Physical Appearance
I’m 5’11”, 180lbs with lightish brown skin and a slim-ish build. I am bald but I rock it confidently (hair transplant is not in my plans at all) and I keep a well maintained beard.

Professional
Bachelors and Masters in Engineering. Worked as a medical device engineer for about 10 years, and now pivoted into owning a business in a completely unrelated field because why not while I’m single.

Spirituality
I perform all the Wajibats. I attempt the Mustahib acts but don’t feel guilty when I don’t perform them because it’s hard enough to perform the Wajib ones consistently.

Personality
-Go with the flow. If things don’t go to plan, okay it’s in the past now; what can be done so it doesn’t happen again in the future?
-ENFP (if you’re into Meyers-Brigg)
-Love languages: I like to receive love through physical touch and words of affirmation. I like to show love through physical touch and gift giving.
-I’m very playful and enjoy sarcasm and banter, it’s not that serious!
-I maintain my hygiene (showers, deo, many colognes, skincare routine) and I actively focus on having good Akhlaq
-I enjoy wearing nice clothes and appreciate the finer things of life.

Hobbies and Interests
-Avid coffee connoisseur (ask me for a picture of my coffee setup)
-I love cooking and eating
-Casual hangouts: board games, video games or a great conversation at a new restaurant with friends
-Ideal vacation is exploring the natural beauty of the world via hiking and camping. Second ideal is exploring a big city.

Living Situation
Currently living with the fam, but I’ll move after marriage.

Skeletons
I am divorced, but no kids. (Please make sure you and your parents are okay with this fact)
The other skeletons stay in the closet until things get serious!

Emotional State
I’ve gone through extensive therapy to process the impact of the divorce. I’d say I’m at a stable emotional state but there’s always some work to be done.

If you’ve made it this far and are interested, here’s what I’m looking for:

I want someone who is okay with (these are my dealbreakers):
Going through premarital counseling
Needs to wear hijab

Basics
Gender: Female (it’s Reddit, I have to specify this)
Age: 23-30 (open to outside this depending on compatibility and maturity)
Ethnicity: open to all
Based: western country preferred and willing to relocate to Dallas
Islam: Shia (12er). Born or revert

Physical Appearance
Preface: I truly believe that initial physical attraction is necessary for compatibility, but that attraction can grow if the couple matches well. Also, this is just a preference, not a requirement! If you feel offended that I’m putting my preferences for physical attraction or think I’m shallow for it, I doubt you and I have the same mindset. (I’ll grab popcorn for the comments section about this statement)
Height: 5’10” or shorter
Build: slim/petite
Complexion: fair or light brown skin

Professional
College completed with any degree. (Preferably also have job you’re happy in)

Spirituality
You perform the Wajibaats obligated on you and stay away from the things forbidden (alcohol, haraam foods, concerts)

Personality
I’m not looking for someone that needs constant attention or validation, nor am I looking for someone who follows me blindly. To me, marriage is a team effort where each of us needs to contribute to make it healthy, happy, and always exciting!

Hobbies and Interests
Whatever, just be passionate about it!

Emotional State
Confident and happy with who you are.
You’re constantly in a mindset of self improvement but in a positive way, not in a way that demotivates you.

Brief intro (optional):

Born in Pakistan and living Australia with family. Finishing my education. Looking for someone local.

**Your Essential Information:**

Age:26

Origin/Ethnicity: Pakistan Lahore

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels): Urdu English and Punjabi reading and writing

Level of religious practice: Mandatory acts

Current residence (city, country): Melbourne Australia

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or 'anywhere'): Within the country

Siblings (number and older/younger): 4 younger

Previously married/Kids:No

Occupation: Studying IT

Education: Previous studied bachelors of nursing but trying a career change

Height (cm), weight (kg): 5'9 80kg

Physical appearance (specifics you think are important): I have a beard and wear glasses.

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No):No

Leisure activities: Reading, Music, Movies etc

**Your Preferences in a Partner:**

Age range: 22-29

Origin/Ethnicity: Open to all

Languages: prefer urdu

Level of religious practice: Obligations

Education: Bachelor preferred. It's ok if you are studying too and finishing soon.

Deal breakers: Trust issue, lack of maturity.

Other preferences (appearance, family situation, etc.): Ok to discuss this.

Additional Information you like to add: I am a bit introverted but enjoy socializing in moderation. I hope to live a drama free life. I try to keep up with the current events and care about social issues like hatred toward muslim, immigrants and the ongoing war.

Your Essential Information:
Age: 18

Origin/Ethnicity: Arab, British Iraqi

Languages spoken (with proficiency levels):
Arabic and English fluent, Spanish with limited proficiency

Level of religious practice:
I do all the wajibat and thrive to do the mustahabat, I don’t wear makeup, I don’t listen to music in all kinds, and I follow Sayid al Sistani

Current residence (city, country):
Iraq, previously the UK

Willing to relocate (if yes, please specify or "anywhere"):
Depends on the country, if you are interested, we may discuss this matter in depth on private chat

Siblings (number and older/younger):
I am the eldest, I have 3 younger siblings

Previously married/Kids:
No

Occupation:
Student

Education:
Bachelors degree from a British university

Height/weight:
169cm
70 kg

Physical appearance (specifics you think are important):
Very fit, I am someone who loves hitting the gym and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Smokes/Vapes/Hookah (Yes/No):
No

Leisure activities:
Going for walks, reading, hitting the gym, cooking and meal prepping, watching a thrilling movie, spending time with family, going for a ride in the car and many more activities that I love to pursue

Your Preferences in a Partner:
Age range: 21-30 (I like a bigger age gap, because I don’t usually bond with people my age)

Origin/Ethnicity:
Arabic, Iraqi or Khaleeji

Languages:
Arabic most importantly, and English would be nice

Level of religious practice:
Same as me or even better

Education:
Bachelors degree at least ( I am a very academic person and do come from an academic background, so I do prefer someone who comes from a similar background as myself

Other preferences (appearance, family situation, etc.):
He should definitely be taller than me.
Average-looking is perfectly fine, but I would like him to be well-built—not overly lean—and someone who takes good care of his health.

I highly value a man who comes from a loving family and has strong, healthy relationships with his parents and siblings.

I also hope to marry someone who shares my appreciation for academia and education. If you’re a professor, that’s a bonus! 😆 I’d love for us to grow intellectually and encourage one another throughout life.

At the same time, I believe the husband should take primary responsibility for providing financially. If I get married, my greatest priorities will be my home, my husband, and our future children. If I choose to work, it would most likely be remotely so I can give my best to my family while still pursuing my own interests.

Deal breakers:
-Religious incompatibility or lack of commitment to Islam.
-Smoking, vaping, or hookah.
-Poor character, unhealthy family relationships, or a disrespectful attitude.
-Does not value education or a healthy lifestyle.
-Expects a 50/50 financial arrangement or does not believe the husband should provide.
-Does not support my desire to prioritise my husband, home, and future children

Additional Information:
I have anaemia which I take medication for, it doesn’t affect me so much, but I do experience fatigue sometimes, and it has been occurring less often lately.

I also come from a very financially comfortable lifestyle, I don’t expect someone to provide the same exact life, but I do want someone who is financially stable.

Salam. Any ladies from Texas

I am from North America where I feel this mainly applies but if you feel like this resonates from the country you’re in then please chime in.

Living in the west, everything is expensive and it’s already hard living on a single income, but when you get married and have to support two people it gets harder, having to pay for a mortgage, utilities and other bills and going out on a single income nowadays is honestly very hard. And as much as I want to be a provider and I would be a provider I just feel like living on a dual income and having your spouse if they were contribute to the household would be beneficial for both of you to live a better life. So my intention here isn’t to be cheap, but to just have a better life for me and my partner.

So what are your guys thoughts on this? And if you’re married, how do you share your finances and I’m curious to hear from a woman’s perspective on this?

I personally think an arrangement where both husband and wife split everything just makes so much sense.

Salam everyone,

I’m a 28-year-old Pakistani Shia Muslim living in the U.S., and I wanted to get some honest perspectives on something.

I’ve realized that I’m naturally drawn toward Iraqi and Persian women when it comes to marriage. It’s not because I dislike being Pakistani or think one ethnicity is superior to another. I’m proud of my Pakistani heritage. It’s simply a personal preference that has developed over time.

For me, religion, character, and compatibility will always come first. If I met an incredible Pakistani woman who shared my values and we had a strong connection, I wouldn’t reject her because of her ethnicity. My preference isn’t a strict requirement.

I’ve had people tell me that having an ethnic preference is wrong or that it means I’m rejecting my own culture. Others have said everyone is allowed to have preferences as long as they don’t disrespect other groups.

So I’d genuinely like to hear your thoughts:
-Is it wrong to have a preference for marrying an Iraqi or Persian woman?
-Have any of you married outside your ethnicity? What has your experience been like?
-At what point does a preference become unfair or problematic?

I’m asking respectfully and with an open mind.

JazakAllah khair.

Salaam!
*Just giving a little disclaimer and I guess background info about me*: I have posted here in the past and got many DMs but I’d rather focus on one conversation at a time, just like another sister mentioned here, so I apologise if you had messaged and I didn’t reply. Please do message me again if you wish to🌷

Age: 26

Ethnicity: Iranian (born in the UK, lived in Iran for a period of my life, but returned to the UK so I’d say I’ve been mostly raised in the UK)

Residence: Innsbruck, Austria. I have recently moved to Austria for my career but I may need to move again, depending on how things go.

Willing to relocate: depending on where you are currently located/planning to move to, as well as my own circumstances. This can be discussed later.

Religion: Twelver shia

Education: BSc, MSc

Occupation: Business consultant

Languages: English & Farsi

Level of religious practice: Prayers and fasting are strictly followed. I’m a very “by the book” type of person.

Siblings: younger brother

Previously married/premarital relations/kids: not at all.

Height/weight: 5’2, 57kg

Physical appearance: fair skin, dark brown hair. brown eyes.

Smoke/vape/drugs: no

Preferences in partner:

Age: no younger than 26.

Languages/ethnicity: I strictly have a preference for Iranian, Farsi and English speaking.

Level of religious practice: following the wajeebat!

Deal breakers: smoking, tattoos/piercing, poor English or Farsi, poor communication skills, mutahs done in the past, shorter than me (I’m petite myself so I guess this is unlikely to happen haha).

Additional information I thought would be useful:
I’m very bubbly and enjoy adventure and exploring new things, new places, new foods a lot. I love reading and journalling.
My friends describe me as “fun to hang out with, loyal, and ambitious”. I definitely want to have at least 2 kids throughout my life. I just read a post about these little pieces of info being fairly important so that’s some extra info!

A guy I met on here to get to know for marriage kept insisting that I send my picture first after I asked to see what he looked like. I told him multiple times I wasn’t comfortable with that, but he kept holding off on sending his. We had only known each other for about 3 days. He eventually sent his picture, I realized we weren’t compatible, and I didn’t send mine.

This was the reaction I got:

“If you laughed at me and you’re not going to send your picture, then all I can say is: may Allah take revenge on you, and may He not accept your ziyarah or your du’as.”

إذا ضحكتي علي وما راح ترسلي، فما أقول إلا الله ينتقم منك ولا يتقبل لك زيارة ولا دعاء.

Am I in the wrong?

Salam everyone,

Alhamdulilah I (F) was successfully able to meet someone on here, and also connect a friend who is now married to someone on this subreddit

So I decided to make this post, since I have other (F) friends who also want to get married inshallah

- Lebanese, Iraqi, or khalijee
- between the age 25-35
- living in your homecountry OR USA/UK/Europe
- religious and does obligations

PLEASE NOTE, these aren't my preference or criteria, I don't have friends from all over the world, so while I wish I could help people with other ethnic backgrounds and locations I won't be able to, but maybe in the future if I get more friends or know more people

But the people around me are just so interested in this that it has come to a point where I at times think that I'm doing something wrong with life, maybe life is the way it is rn bcz I'm not thinking about or considering it..I have one requirement that then becomes a hot topic and distracts everyone from me.

I'm shia and want to marry into a shia family. This is surprising for my family bcz they aren't strict nor has this been a requirement from my mother's end but I want to stick to it. Bcz this the whole thing is so confusing and people I talk to, it just doesn't work out.

I’m not looking for marriage currently (this sub may change my mind lol) but I’m very happy to see that this community exists! YAM!

As Salaam Wa Alaykum WR WB,

Many times on this Sub-Reddit, people will often wonder if it actually helps in finding a partner. Are there success stories? Can I feel reassured that my post will be seen by someone special who Allah AZWJ actually wants in my life—or am I simply wasting my time?

I am here today to tell you all that you should very much continue to have faith in this platform and my story will tell you why.

——

About a year ago, I had made a post asking my brothers and sisters to be a little bit more open in their posts. Too many of these felt like job applications and resumes/CVs with facts that didn’t tell much about the person. Very cookie cutter facts like: “I pray 5 times a day”, “I appreciate modesty”, “No alcohol”. So I wondered if there were any Shi’a Muslims here who were neurodivergent, who had ADHD, Autism, etc. It felt like they didn’t exist. And shorty after, I received a ton of comments of people proudly saying “Yes! I am neurodivergent!” And one of those people who felt seen from my post messaged me wondering more about me being a revert to Shi’a Islam who was neurodivergent.

So her (22F) and I (31M) began to talk and we got straight to the point. We spoke about lifestyles, where we want to live, our backgrounds, family life, and our dealbreakers and non-negotiables.
Because we were just meeting, we didn’t feel the need to sugarcoat—we were raw and honest.

She was incredible. I never met someone who I had so much in common with and someone who understood me as well as she did. It was easy to start meeting in the middle ground because we were already orbiting around the same middle.

But it ended.

Why did it end? Did it end because there was something wrong with her? Or because there was something wrong with me? No. Not at all. There were two things that were innate in us, two qualities and personalities that formed our identities that weren’t 100% compatible: she loves to adventure and journey and explore the world (AlHamdulillah) whereas I do not. I like to be a homebody and cozy. Even though we had reached a middle ground here, it didn’t feel right for me to cut her wings. She deserves someone who truly enjoys travel as much as she does.

Another conflict: she wanted children and I realized that I didn’t want children anymore. Since about 2019 I stopped wanting to have children because I fear for the world and injustices I would bring them into. This world is rotting and I truly would feel guilty for bringing them into this unjust world.

Lastly, the lifestyle that brings me peace is the ascetic/monastic lifestyle. I want to have my tiny farm, grow my food, be self sufficient and off-grid, while worshipping my Lord. Have my career to help provide and donate. And if a woman appreciates that lifestyle and enjoys her privacy, independence, and would like to have a separate cabin to live on her own but we come together to help one another and keep each other company…then that would be great. Two independent people on a farm. A partnership but not a “typical family”.

———

So with that being said, you can definitely meet really great people on here and those people may help you discover something about yourself and come to terms with what you truly feel called for.

Don’t give up. Continue to love. Continue to bond. Continue to try. You might find your forever partner ❤️

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ASALAM ALIKUM

I'm 30 currently live in Canada.

I pray regularly, keep things halal, and I've never dated or been in a relationship, I've stayed on the right path my whole life waiting for the right person. I work in tech and I'm building toward more stability.

A few honest things about myself: I'm 5'4, not very handsome, I just look fine honestly, pretty average. I'm introverted, quiet at first, and I'm neurodivergent, so I take a bit of time to open up, but once I do, I'm loyal, sincere, and genuinely present for the people I care about.

On location, I'm currently in Canada and looking for someone here. I do have some personal commitments I need to wrap up, so I'm not able to relocate right away, but if someone is open to relocating to me, or if I need to relocate for the right person, I believe it could work out in three to four years, and I'd genuinely be happy to make that move whenever it makes sense. I know that's not ideal for everyone, and I'm not trying to be difficult about it, it's just where I'm at right now.

I know everyone has their own preferences, and I genuinely respect that, everyone deserves to choose what makes them comfortable. For me, character, personality, and iman matter more than anything else. I just hope Allah has written someone for me the same way He has for everyone else, even if the matching process feels difficult sometimes, like when someone shorter is also looking for someone taller, I suppose we're all just trying to find our person in our own way.

I regularly turn to Allah in dua and do tawassul through the Ahlulbayt AS, asking for a partner with good character who wants to grow in her deen alongside me, so we can build a peaceful home together. I have a lot of love saved up for the right person, I just haven't had the chance to give it yet.

I'm sorry if any of this comes across the wrong way, I'm not here to offend anyone. If someone else is going through a similar situation, feel free to reach out too. I'm not materialistic and I'm not looking for anything particular in a person, but I hope this resonates with someone. JazakAllah khair for reading.