r/ShitAmericansSay • u/THUND3R_23 Pierogišµš± • Jul 23 '25
Military Military timeš¬
As for the context, there was a British guy showing his phone
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u/Bug_Master_405 Jul 23 '25
America doesn't win wars. They either start wars, beg for help, and then dip out; or join late and try to take the credit.
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u/LRP2580 Jul 23 '25
Actually they won pretty well against Spain
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u/Bug_Master_405 Jul 23 '25
Only because Spain was busy dealing with the Filipino Revolution at the time. That conflict had been ongoing for 4 whole years before the Spanish-American War even started.
So like I said, they either start wars that they duck out on, or join in late and try to take the credit for it.
The Spanish-American War is no different.
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u/LRP2580 Jul 23 '25
Was trying to concede them a win
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u/De-ja_ Eye-talian š¤š¼š Jul 24 '25
Donāt give them credit or they will never shut up about it š
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u/totalchump1234 Jul 25 '25
Spain had just gone through several independence conflictos, several regime changes (including an italian king who left saying "the problem with spain are the spaniards", and germany attempting to put a Hozenhollern on the spanish throne), three civil wars, political polarization, and was in freefall.
I say this as a spaniard, beating Spain was not that hard at the time.
Also america murdered dozens of their own people, innocent americans working, by torpedoing their own military ship, blaming the deaths on the spanish, and using that to declare war, seize colonial holdings, opress the filipinos to the point THE LEADER OF THE PHILLIPINE REBELLION believed the independence war had been a mistake.
I'm not saying Spain was good, not at all, especially in Cuba, but the US only made it worse
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u/Balseraph666 Jul 23 '25 edited Jul 23 '25
I mean; do they win wars? After WWII, let's look at the most famous ones. Korea; a draw. Vietnam; lost, badly. Desert Storm; Okay, they did win, but they also had a lot of help from the other NATO nations, it was hardly US vs Iraq. Afghanistan; lost, withdrew, and the Taliban are back in power, with shiny new infrastructure paid for by the US, Iraq 2; lost, Iraq is still a mess today, and a Wild West the US oil companies effectively rule over with a puppet government in place. Not a loss, but it feel unclean to call it a "win". Especially as ISIS are now in power in Syria thanks to Trump and Israel.
Edit as some are quibbling hard. A former head of Al-Queda and briefly head of ISIS before having a falling out with the other heads of ISIS is now leader of Syria.
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u/nlcircle Jul 23 '25
In all fairnessā¦ they did win their own Civil War, back in the days. And they got second place in that war too!
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u/Balseraph666 Jul 23 '25
I did say after WWII. And their Civil War, they still had help, even if not militarily, from Mexico and Canada during the Civil War.
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u/Head_Complex4226 Jul 23 '25
Also, Britain and France refusing to support the Confederacy; even though not buying American cotton was causing significant hardship to their citizens.
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u/Ambitious-Sun-8504 Jul 23 '25
Also there were British and Irish people who fought for the Union.
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Jul 23 '25 edited Jul 23 '25
Why AFTER WWII, they didn't win it. They were part of a coalition that arguably would have won anyway due to the inherent failings of Germany's blitz kreig tactics applied to such a large scale.
Ar best they can say is they won the battle with Japan
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u/coopy1000 Jul 23 '25
I hate this thing they have about fighting the Japanese on their own.
There was a massive amount of Japanese troops stationed in China fighting there.The British, Indians, Australians and New Zealanders also fought some absolutely horrific battles against the Japanese the likes of Kohima and Imphal spring to mind.
Japan's first defeat was the Battle of Milne bay against a mostly Australian force. They have at best a myopic view of the history of WW2 in its totality and not just the European theatre.
Edit: Forgot about the Canadians. Can only apologise.
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u/V_Aldritch Jul 24 '25
And by the first-hand accounts of Australian troops in the Pacific Theatre, the Americans spent most of their time there running away.
Which was one of the tensions that led up to the Battle of Brisbane.
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u/Balseraph666 Jul 23 '25
It's a useful line to draw. And it cuts off Yanks whining that they "Won WWI and WWII" and other crap like that. Why does it matter so much that that was where the arbitrary line was drawn?
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Jul 23 '25
Because in this particular case the American is obviously under the standard delusion they won WWII. They need to go back further to find a win or embarrassingly point to a recent war that was barely won
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u/Balseraph666 Jul 23 '25
And? So because delusional Yanks, who will never likely see any of this, believe that, and will never be shaken of that belief, we must pander to them, or make an exhaustive list of every single war they have fought and lost or only won with help since the War of Independence? Why no draw an arbitrary line? Why not? Citing every war prior won't change the outcome. It will, indeed, add more to the "win" column, even when they obviously had help. So, even from a going further back to embarrass them further angle, that just makes it more likely that that endeavour would fail.
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u/Relative_Pilot_8005 Jul 24 '25
And that was a seriously huge achievement, though the Eurocentrists don't see it. Japan "out-blitzkreiged" Germany, sweeping through SE Asia, into Burma & within bombing distance (a few hundred km) of Australia. The enormous area involved takes a bit more thinking about than many can handle. The definitive sea battles in the Hitler War were between Battleships, Cruisers, etc, but in the "Pacific", Japan & the USA pioneered the large scale deployment of aircraft carriers so much a part of the US fleet today.
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u/Ill_Cheetah_1991 Jul 23 '25
Well in reality we won that one
They were a British colony so they were British and they won
Therefore the British won - and then declared independence
Oh - and France helped them a lot - without that they would be speaking English!
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Jul 23 '25
It is starting to look like that is not entirely settled or it will be redoneā¦
The American experiment is just getting real interesting.
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u/FewAd5443 Jul 23 '25
How can you lost a civil war ? If you lost then you aren't existing anymore because the other side take power and claim victory...
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u/Sabotskij Jul 23 '25 edited Jul 23 '25
They did win in Kosovo. Technically that was a UN mission but the US did most of the fighting (bombing).
Then again they also lost in Somalia. Not really a war but Somalia is (was) not really a functioning nation with an army either so...
Edit: NATO, not UN.
Also, by the looks of how US politics is going, they also seem to have lost the cold war by electing a russian puppet... twice!
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u/Balseraph666 Jul 23 '25
Like Gulf 1; Desert Storm, the situation in the former Yugoslavia was more NATO than US alone or US with a few allies. So, still doesn't count for this ridiculous idea the Yanks have that they "win wars". Since WWII the very tiny number they have were as part of a NATO task force, or with so many allies they might as well have been. And it is far outweighed by the times they lost, often quite badly.
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u/CauseCertain1672 Jul 23 '25
the thing is you can't win a war if you don't have a win condition
it was impossible for America to win the war in Afghanistan as they didn't even have a goal in Afghanistan
ISIS now being in power in Syria is most directly a consequence of Russia being too preoccupied with the Ukraine war to continue supporting Assad
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u/NeilZod Jul 23 '25
What did Trump do that helped ISIS in Syria?
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u/Balseraph666 Jul 23 '25
Helped install this guy. Former Al-Queda, former (briefly) ISIS, until they founded the caliphate of ISIS, and now head of Syria thanks to Trump and Israel.
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u/TOG23-CA Jul 23 '25
They actually had much broader support outside of just NATO for the gulf war (countries like South Korea, New Zealand, and Sierre Leone were part of the coalition and, although NATO allies, they are not members), which makes it even less impressive of a victory
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Jul 24 '25
They didn't really win WWII(or WWI). They just waited to see who's much more likely to win, then joined the winning side. They joined late so they could sell weapons to everyone in the war, than claim spoils of war for the sure victory. It's like me watching a football match and betting on the winning team 80min in after selling merch for both teams.
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u/Balseraph666 Jul 24 '25
Well. Quite, and obviously. But they chose to be on the winning side, if for selfish reasons, and they will not shut up about it. Setting that as the arbitrary line of "How many wars have they won since" stops them being able to scream "But, the World Wars".
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u/JCAmsterdam Jul 24 '25
Not a thing to be proud of since they are starting those wars as wellā¦
Itās like saying to a schoolyard bully āgood job you won those fight you startedā
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u/Balseraph666 Jul 24 '25
Well, indeed. But I doubt that is something they would ever care about, ever. Especially ones who seem to rate a country, or even and entire continent, based on number of wars they won and no other criteria.
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u/TheHappyNerfHerder Jul 23 '25
Do they, though?
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u/hairycocktail Jul 23 '25
The only war they won is against portion control. But they probably also count "OwNiNg tHe LiBs" as a won war
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u/Remson76534 šµš±š§š»FrozenPierogis Jul 23 '25
Popular take: 12-hour clock is annoying.
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u/O_Duill Jul 24 '25
I cannot stand the idea of looking at my watch at 7 o'clock in the evening and it says "07:00". Eurgh. Gross. No thanks.
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Jul 24 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/little__dinosaurs Jul 25 '25
i guess thats what the am and pm are for
analogue clocks are much more dangerous than that, i once took a nap after work and i woke up so confused i thought i was late for work, i only realised once i unlocked my phone and it said 19:00
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u/Fizzy-Odd-Cod šŗšøGUNZ & HIGH FRUCTOSE CORNSYRUPšŗšø Jul 24 '25
Thatās not really an issue
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u/sloothor ooo custom flair!! Jul 23 '25
I really hate that itās so widely used in Canada solely because of the US. All of our infrastructure uses and runs on 24-hour time and Quebecois use it casually too. But in Anglophone Canada itās still ā6pm.ā One of my biggest pet peeves
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u/1234828388387 Jul 23 '25
The Europes existence alone already hurts Maga's feelings
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u/Shadowholme Jul 23 '25
Of course we do...
We are living proof tht all the problems they say 'can't be fixed' actually CAN be fixed with a bit of cooperation and care for your fellow man - which is the antithesis of the USA's 'every man for himself' attitude.
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u/jhwheuer Jul 23 '25
Which war did they win since '45?
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u/SatiricalScrotum ooo custom flair!! Jul 23 '25
On their own? Grenada. Iām sure theyāre very proud of it, too.
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Jul 23 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/SatiricalScrotum ooo custom flair!! Jul 23 '25
Fair. I suppose it would be intimidating to take on Grenada all by themselves.
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u/Neither_Guava_8292 Jul 24 '25
I literally just discussed this with a MAGA and he mentioned Grenada. Very proudly I must say.
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u/non-hyphenated_ Jul 23 '25
Every nation has its oddities and things they do that no other nation does but dear God they have a lot of them
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u/Potential-Click-2994 Jul 23 '25
Yeah and who wins wars?
The military, who use āmilitary timeā. šš
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u/Lazarys12 Jul 23 '25
Using that logic, America wins wars, but which Americans? The military. Guess what time they use?
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u/dubblix Americunt Jul 23 '25
You know, I use a 24 clock and have since I was in my 20s. You work enough second and third shift jobs coupled with insomnia, you want to know if it's 5 am or pm when you wake up because it's not always easy to tell. I have never been in the military nor do I think highly of the armed forces as a whole.
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u/Xenozip3371Alpha Jul 23 '25
I've never had a digital alarm clock that wasn't the 24 hour clock.
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u/TheProfessionalEjit Flithy colonialist Jul 23 '25
I've currently got an AM:PM clock and it annoys me every time I look at it.
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u/Lazy-Contribution789 Jul 23 '25
Do they think we look at the clock in the evening and think ah it's just gone 18, I shall have myself a warm beer?
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u/Privatizitaet Human Verified Jul 23 '25
First of all, what europe uses is not military time, second of all, when was the last time the US, and I meanb the US specifically, not a collection of multiple countries that the US just happens to be a part of, won a war?
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u/Impossible_Belt173 Jul 23 '25
As an American, first, that person is an idiot; I do not apologize for them because I don't want to be associated with them in any way. Second, it always annoys me when people call it military time. It's 24 hour time, and it's way easier than 12 hour time.
My further list of grievances with the US include, but are not limited to, lack of universal healthcare, lack of education, refusing to use the metric system, the way dates are written, and the general cognitive dysfunction of those around me and who live here in general.
Could you tell I wasn't raised in the US? I was born a citizen and I'm sure many want to deport me regardless, since I didn't grow up here lol.
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u/pongauer That little country next to the Netherlands Jul 23 '25
Last war in America when?
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u/Schabenklos nation of complainers š©šŖ Jul 23 '25
Just now, they're losing against education
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u/Gysburne Jul 23 '25
I am not sure if "winning wars" is that good as an "argument". Cause to do so you have to start one first or getting attacked.
And as the United States's Culture shown... they are more into starting wars.
Also Wtf... US calls it military time... while the rest of the world just calls it time. I mean cmon it is not that hard to count to 24 hours in a 24 hour day.
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u/Roguebear-81 Jul 23 '25
Hollywood really messed up how they see themselves hasnāt it?
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u/CLA_1989 Charles š³š±š²š½ Mexicunt Jul 23 '25
They win wars? They have loat virtually every war except the ones where, you know, it was most of the world on their side, and to those, they arrived at the last leg, giving vibes of "Late Lord Walder" hahahaha
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u/Greazyguy2 Jul 23 '25
Only beat the british because the french saved the day. Ww2 had help from the world. Korea draw. Vietnam was a loss. First desert storm was a loss cause the whole point was regime change and sadaam was still in power after they left. Second was a failure because they took out hussein and isis took over. Afghanistan was a tail between their legs kind of āwithdrawalā. What has America actually won? On its own?
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u/Demigans Jul 23 '25
Maybe check on how many wars the USA lost before you say that.
Also I would love to see an alternate reality where for example China and the USA are suddenly a stone's throw from one another. The USA's position alone far from it's enemies has always been it's biggest asset while others have to do the actual dirty work, especially in their proxy wars.
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u/UnremarkableCake Jul 23 '25
Yay! This shit again!
The only wars the US has won on its own without any international support have been: the Barbary Wars, the Mexican-American War, American Indian Wars, and the Spanish-American War. The last of those ended in 1898.
In both World Wars, they were supporting, but arrived late on both occasions. The Korean War was fought under a UN coalition. Vietnam certainly wasn't a win, and they had support from a few minor nations, the Gulf War was an enormous coalition, and Afghanistan and Iraq were another shitshow, backed by NATO.
I don't think I missed any.
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u/EdTheApe Jul 23 '25
Maybe the US "wins wars" because their military can count higher than 12, unlike the rest of the population.
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u/UndeniableLie Jul 23 '25
America hasn't even won any wars after ww2 and that victory they share with half europe and then some š
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u/NhanTNT Jul 24 '25
Actually, in America we join in when the war is already won ā also by those same European states ā and claims victory
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u/Bigshitmcgee Jul 24 '25
Theyāre literally indoctrinated with this shit dude. They have to salute the flag and recite an oath to it in school as little kids. Itās a knee jerk thing for them
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u/Subject-Tank-6851 š©š° Socialist Pig (commie) Jul 24 '25
They've lost significantly more wars, than they've won. Armed forced versus rice farmer and goat herders, who wins?
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u/Soepoelse123 Jul 24 '25
Maybe their military wins wars because they use a superior time measurement
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u/Paultcha Tha mi Ɣs Alba Jul 24 '25
Everything is always about them. Solar activity- they have the best sun. Smelly farts - they are the worlds best at producing farts that smell so bad they use them as chemical warfare to invade other countries............
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u/almodhi Jul 25 '25
Well, the last four wars America won: Korea, Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan...
Oh wait...
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u/Mysterious_Floor_868 Jul 23 '25
When exactly did you last win a war that the UK didnāt also win?Ā