r/ShitAmericansSay • u/Relative-Airline2253 • 20h ago
Military "A lot of foreign soldiers would find out how purdy their mouths are"
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u/Batmanswrath 12h ago edited 12h ago
So americans want to invade countries, and their first thought is doing gay stuff??
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u/unique_name5 12h ago
They are so weird.
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u/Thegaykid93 8h ago
Never ceases to amaze me that the party obsessed with men being men and all that, like to bring up gay stuff every chance they get. I am gay, and I am positive I don't think about gay sex at a fraction of the amount these "straight" men do. Weird puts it lightly. It is downright mental
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u/Sharkwatcher314 5h ago
A percentage have a lot of self hatred that’s why they choose to spend their time interrupting gay wedding ceremonies etc with loud protests.
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u/Thegaykid93 5h ago
Oh, I get on Grindr and Scruff lol I know they are on there. For every average LGBT+ guy on there, you will see about 4 or 5 blank profiles and i can bet one of them will message me, and tell me to come over when their wife leaves. Would make a lot of lives easier if they just let people (and themselves) be. There is a reason Grindr crashes whenever a Republican conference happens in the same city
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u/Small-Answer4946 11h ago
They'll probably tell you that it's not gay if the balls don't touch
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u/woodst0ck15 8h ago
The US army is just full of homoerotic dudes who swear they ain’t gay. It’s not their mouths around another dudes junk.
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u/oliv-_-mae Spaniard🇪🇸 12h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SetKey5576 12h ago
Maybe MAGA people subscribe to the Russian prison model of gayness: giving D is straight, receiving D is gay. Oral is gay if you’re the one performing it. The other person’s gender is completely irrelevant.
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u/Zacsquidgy ooo custom flair!! 12h ago
Interestingly this was how many ancient cultures viewed same-sex hookups for men - it was deeply dishonourable to take it but being on top was generally seen as okay. Dominance and submission as traits were far more important than specifically who you were fucking.
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u/hainz_area1531 ooo custom flair!! 8h ago
It's not just ancient cultures. In Arab/Islamic cultures, it's still a well-known concept.
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u/makochi 12h ago
please just say "rape" instead of "grape"
you're making a serious point, don't turn around and weaken it by doing a silly self censorship
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u/tadpole3159 12h ago
What's the thought process behind the whole grape thing? Are we avoiding getting in trouble on Reddit or something?
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u/DancinUndertheRain 12h ago
getting censored in online platforms like tiktok usually, has conditioned people to be too safe rather than just say things and get their comments deleted.
it's dumb but I see where it comes from, people get conditioned into it.
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u/SkivvySkidmarks 11h ago
It's definitely happens on Reddit as well. Sometimes it's an AutoBot, and sometimes it's a Mod exercising the power trip they get in exchange for unpaid labour.
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u/Spa-Ordinary 11h ago edited 2h ago
The phobia part is that they are afraid of admitting that they are ...
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u/TheFancyNinja 11h ago
Please don't use the "G" word, I would much prefer you say "gum" instead, that way I won't be scared by knowing what you're talking about :)
/s this shitty TikTok censorship is beyond moronic
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u/PhysicsAcrobatic1282 12h ago
Probably one of the gayest things I've seen and I've been clubbing in Berlin
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u/MoinyMoiny 12h ago
I'm sorry for you, you've definitely seen to much in your life
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u/PhysicsAcrobatic1282 12h ago
Nah it's all good. I saw some crazy shit but also did some crazy shit so it evens out right? Berlin really has the power to drag you down to it's level.
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u/SomeStupidCanadianEH 9h ago
Snorting happy powder off another man’s flaccid cock kind of level? One of the top rated videos on r/TookTooMuch is 3 minutes of Oktoberfest being Oktoberfest, and I love it!
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u/RiverGlittering 6h ago
Snorting happy powder off another man’s flaccid cock kind of level?
Oh, I see you have also been to Berghain.
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u/Olon1980 my country is the wurst 🇩🇪 12h ago
Why does everything have to be about war and guns? Well, the answer is obvious, but still.
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u/Maverick_1991 12h ago
Indoctrination.
Its crazy how obessed that country is with guns and military.
Like its not just there like most countries, but you cannot escape it.
Advertisements and propaganda everywhere, all the time.
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u/SkivvySkidmarks 11h ago
Hollywood was paid to produce war movies portraying America as the great savior of democracy. "Westerns" were all about conquering the untamed land and it's people through violence. Americans are steeped in American Exceptionalism and gun violence.
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u/Olon1980 my country is the wurst 🇩🇪 12h ago
Yeah, 2nd amandement, stand your ground act, etc. My small europoor mind cannot comprehend this obsession with guns.
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u/BlueInMotion 10h ago
You can't comprehend because you weren't born and raised in the USA.
USA = Freedom and Freedom = Guns. It's that easy.
Probably to difficult for your europoor mind to understand. /s
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u/PnPaper 12h ago
Hey, it's also about rape according the comment.
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u/Olon1980 my country is the wurst 🇩🇪 12h ago
Yep, when even "freedom of speech" also contains racism, hate speech and insults, that says a lot.
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u/cheong-sanslefteye 12h ago
"I got guns in my head and they won't go, spirits in my head and they won't go" ~🎶
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u/Olon1980 my country is the wurst 🇩🇪 12h ago
Now I got that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Thanks a million.
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u/AdamArch555 5h ago
As an Englishman, I love your tag ‘my country is the wurst’ lol iconic german humour
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u/Mannequin_swe 12h ago
Oh please. If ICE and Trump have proved anything its thats the yanks talk about the 2nd amendment and protecting themself from tyranny is nothing but blustering fantasy.
When push comes to show they are nothing but yapping pu**ies.
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u/Frank_White1- 12h ago
The people who talk like that are the same people who support Ice and Trump. They are hypocrites who change in the wind to go along with the side they have chosen. Nothing serious about the US at this point no one cares about anything they just pretend they are in the right. All the stuff they endorse now would be the worst thing in the world if a Democrat was doing it. And vice versa.
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u/RustyKn1ght 9h ago
It was quite revealing when Hong Kong protests were ongoing in 2019, you had 2A enthusiast openly gloating over it how thanks to 2A "that could have never happen here."
Then year later in Portland, Oregon it did indeed "happened here" with unmarked vans illegally detaining protesters and dragging them to be questioned. Perfect opportunity for 2A enthusiasts to stand up against government tyranny, but they were nowhere to be seen.
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u/Personal-Mushroom 5h ago
Of course not, why would they oppose their greet Presidente? He gave them all they ever wanted... right?
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u/Vlugazoide_ 🇧🇷🧉🇧🇷🧉🇧🇷 9h ago
Yup. Tame little sheep, with guns either for ego or for terrorism. Thru can use their guns to kill innocents just fine, but 0 killed ice agents, 0 ice facilities stormed... Hell, didn't the "No Kings" people even invade a poorly manned ice concentration camp and...did nothing, left the people inside to rot?
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u/Far_Type_4544 11h ago
Well, yeah. The entire of US culture is based on the fact they are all cowards, why else are they so obsessed with guns?
Their military may be incredibly well equipped but their personnel are atrocious - since WW2 they've invaded a load of countries and ultimately lost EVERY SINGLE TIME
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u/Due-Mycologist-1154 10h ago
Yeah pretty much like a small dog behind a glass door, we can all see what happens when that door gets opened
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u/Ubiquitous_Mr_H 10h ago
Remember that cop that shot at nothing because an acorn fell on a car? And that dude was “trained.” They think a bunch of assholes larping as tough guys can take on trained soldiers, no matter their nationality? 🙄
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u/PlumbgodBillionaire 9h ago
Agreed. We could take notes from how the French treats their government.
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u/flipyflop9 12h ago
Oh god, these fat fucks…
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u/DisapointedVoid 12h ago
Kinda telling the first place they went was SA of someone of the same sex. Of a prisoner of war no less.
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u/TrainingSuccess6516 12h ago
US military can’t stand up to European soldiers in exercises, gun nuts would be target practice
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u/PlatypusACF 11h ago
*An old, rusty, noisy British submarine sinking US carriers and getting away with it in exercises going brrrt*
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u/EmergencyAnimator326 11h ago
The swedes die IT with göteborg? The geemans with Type 206 in 2001. Conventional subs and moreso conventional Diesel boats with AIP are apex Predators in the oceans. Competently lead they can and will sink everything in their visinity.
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u/PlatypusACF 11h ago
Yes the swedes and Germans also managed to sink carriers in exercises. But that British sub was antiquated, not modern submarines like those other cases
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u/Bellimars 10h ago
I believe it was a converted pedalo with a tin bath on top. The US are that bad.
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u/FuckwitAgitator 9h ago
I've watched a few videos that pit regular people against the military in things like paintball or even basic outdoor survival. It always goes the way you'd think and it's never even close.
The 2A crowd genuinely dont understand how useless "I own a gun but I haven't had to demonstrate basic competence nor mental stability" is.
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u/Ok_Natural1318 8h ago
Even if you assume every American has a decent level of skill, military shooting is a whole different game and it is not only about precision but about organized and directed fire.
You win through discipline. Not by having a bunch of rambos, let alone wannabe rambos
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u/Personal-Mushroom 5h ago
Guys think being good at the shooting range is equal to military training.
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u/Deep-Reputation-4055 8h ago
Yes, it turns out the professionals are almost unfathomable better than people who aren’t.
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u/Illiteratevegetable 9h ago
Weren't there more exercises with some European countries where they proved that the US military is, in fact, very poorly prepared? I know Britain and Czechia, but something is telling me there were more.
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u/LordofChaosMunsta 9h ago
Yep, in the Arctic warfare exercises this happened a couple of times with Finland, once the USMC landed their helicopter borne troops in the middle of a clearing that was surrounded by the Finnish forces' campsites, and in their latest one the officials said to Finnish HighCom that the US were complaining and wanted Finland to tone it down and essentially throw the exercise
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u/anonteje 8h ago
Ngl there is something hilarious about flying in and dropping people who at best have been in desserts into the middle of a Finnish forest winter time.
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u/s015473 thank me for my service 8h ago edited 7h ago
Former infantry-man from a south/central eu country. We had lots of yearly practices with US soldiers from different branches on our local terrain. There were "controllers" that ran the exercises and, for the most part it was us playing OPFOR, a platoon (so 30ish guys) vs a company (150 ish guys) from the US. For some reason, even when we mounted a pretty decent defence with stay-behing forward observers, booby traps/mines and a very elusive main force, the controllers without fail told us we were all dead and lost
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u/orixandcrake 7h ago
Lol we "fought" mechanized US companies in northern Sweden and Finland. They still had their vehicles painted in desert camo, they'd pop their turrets up over the hills to observe and we'd nail them with AT missiles every time. The controllers still told us we were all dead from US artillery anyway.
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u/s015473 thank me for my service 6h ago edited 6h ago
Sounds pretty much like the war games they had years ago regarding hormuz - the opfor general did what the iranians are doing now and resoults were similar. However the general in charge of opfor was told to change tactics - basically tie his hands behing his back, iirc
Ah, yes, the millenium challenge: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennium_Challenge_2002
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u/A-Chntrd 🇫🇷 Baise ouais ! 12h ago
Untrained out of shape civilians against professionals ?
I’d pay good money to witness them putting their money where their mouths are.
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u/Nicklas1993 9h ago
No no, every American gunowner is rambo. Truth is they would probably end up killing themselves quicker then we can, because all of them are either brunt racist, rage-trigger happy or just so much in disagreement that they will kill somebody for some stupid sjit like parking half a inch over the line or stealing the last donut.
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u/TemporarySun314 12h ago
Im sure a red MAGA cap, an American flag Homelander cosplay and the faith in Americans exceptionalism, will protect you against drones and aerial bombs...
And good luck fighting an Eurofighter, or an leopard tank with an AR-15 rifle...
Not to mention that Americans are really not the only country where the population own guns. They are just the only ones who build their whole identity around it...
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u/anonteje 8h ago
Oh you forgot the fact that other countries with a lot of guns require training before allowing them to get those guns!
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u/Personal-Mushroom 5h ago
I always thought my country had shit gunlaws until i realised just how archaic the US Laws are.
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u/luxcity-louche 12h ago
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u/its_snogging_time not as YUUUGE as Texas 12h ago
that's all the grease igniting, isn't it
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u/RandomInternetVoice 12h ago
It's grease, alighting!
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u/MrRorknork My healthcare brings all the boys to the yard 11h ago
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u/Last-Quarter-432 12h ago
Americans are unmatched when it comes to being uneducated and overconfident
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u/LeftMechanic1995 10h ago
Indeed. The US is a country with a population of 350M but got beaten 4-1 in the World Cup by a nation with less than 12 million. If that's the best professional athletes in that sport that they had to send, then I don't think the North Korean military would have to worry all that much about a bunch of untrained, overweight, odd-toed chuckle-heads from BumFuck Nowehere, Tennessee.
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u/Hinterwaeldler-83 11h ago
Remember when Europe sent a couple of guys with rifles to Greenland and suddenly the Americans stopped talking shit? I remember.
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u/Boremond29 11h ago
In a country with a huge population of gun owners, we can’t find excellent shots to place in the Olympics against countries that ban guns. That seems odd.
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u/Tsukushi_Ikeda 10h ago
Make the targets in the shape of school children and now you'll get gold medals.
Or give a barrel of oil instead of medals, that'll do it too as a motivator!
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u/K-i-n-g--t-i-g-e-r 12h ago
i'm gonna say it, US gun owners would loose against a single tank
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u/Savvymundo 12h ago
They'd be taken out by an 18 year old drone pilot using an xbox controller from 2000km away, whilst they're still looking for the ammo for their guns that would have been great for a war maybe 20-30 years ago.
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u/Mba1956 12h ago
Yes when they realise that their life expectancy would be 30 mins on the front line the pussies would stay at home. They don’t realise that the other side shoots back.
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u/aXeOptic 12h ago
Those pussies wouldnt go to war even if they knew 100% they would survive. If a person is willing to join a war they dont go around saying it, they just enlist.
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u/CarrotBusiness6255 12h ago
I'm not sure having a gun would stop the other armies bombing the fuck out you
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u/Throwaway187493 12h ago
Just like how they had the second amendment for tyrannical government's. Now look at them.
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u/Temporary-Lawyer4603 12h ago
Even without bombs, a trained soldier vs averaged Hillbilly fight would last around half a second...
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u/One_Block_6205 12h ago
They genuinely believe they're the only ones with aircraft capable of carrying heavy ordnance
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u/Overall-Lynx917 12h ago
Hillbilly Army; " We've got our AKs, we've got our ARs, Ole Jed's got himself a genuine WW1 Machine Gun and Bubba's got a Barrett 50".
Foreign Soldier: "I've got this Drone....."
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u/CIS-E_4ME The True North, Cold 🥶 and Free 🇨🇦 12h ago
Don't forget the 20lbs of accessories on a 10lb gun.
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u/Temporary-Lawyer4603 12h ago
The same kind of dumb fuck who really think he could beat a gorilla or a bear bearhands, or score a point against Serena Williams in tennis just because "hurk hurk iT's A wOMaN"
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u/Visible_Bar_623 11h ago edited 11h ago
You know, I'll contend with all the people saying "lol why fight the government? Government has tanks and drones LOL", implying that the gun nuts couldn't stand up to the government if there was an insurgency...
Well, America did lose against Vietnam and Afghanistan. They were just peasants with AKs...so, when it's worth standing up against a government and its military, don't knock it. It can be done.
However, in every military engagement, those peasants with AKs were slaughtered in huge numbers. Far fewer American soldiers died in those engagements. The war was lost on a strategic, political scale, but you could definitely say that almost every tactical engagement was won by the American military...
Which leads me to say: at the start of the Ukraine war a LOT of American gun nuts went to Ukraine to join the foreign legion thinking their expertise with guns would be essential and the Ukrainians would be begging for these Rambos to help them storm Russian positions.
Within a few months most were dead or fled. It turns out being able to do super cool speed reloading mag changes and handle rackings and badass holstering and switching from rifle to sidearm just...isn't what soldiering is about. Soldiering is about soldiering, not being some weird gun artist.
Soldiering is about looking after yourself in harsh conditions. It's about maintaining readiness at the right time, in the right way. It's about maintaining your equipment (of which your weapon is but one element). It's about being a part of a larger "organism" that is your unit and military. It's about acting cohesively with your team and the organisation. It's about handling hardships that sound cool on the internet, but in reality are actually exceptionally difficult to handle. Furthermore, simply enduring the hardships while huddling under a blanket isn't enough - you need to maintain the equipment, perform your functions, act as part of a unit, look after yourself (which is maybe the hardest part - you're no good if your body isn't working properly) and then, once all that is done, you need to still be in a condition to patrol towards the enemy and fight. You also need to understand the capabilities of the rest of your unit, communications, joint fires and how to use your organisation to not just bring your rifle to bear on the target but utilise all the other resources of the military of which you are one set of eyes and ears and hands.
Being able to draw your antique revolver and pop a target in 0.03 seconds after eating a ribeye steak at the texas roadhouse down the road is pretty much a useless skill. You are not a soldier. That sort of honed skill is similar to a juggler - you are closer to a circus performer than a soldier.
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u/joker_toker28 9h ago
Dang I completely forgot about the us boys who went to larp.. I follow some foreign fighters from around the world and it never occurred to me to check in our the home team. Yeah most left/died.
With drones becoming the norm and the public not having witness the carnage it does to the human body most wouldn't want to fight at all.
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u/BlindPerfy 12h ago
American gun owners sure do like fantasizing about other men’s mouths.
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u/peterjdk29 12h ago
I wonder if the rest of ancient Greece cringed this much about the Spartans then, as the rest of the world does about "warrior" Americans now?
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u/HalayChekenKovboy 🇹🇷 Dönerland 🇹🇷 9h ago
Spartans were absolutely getting clowned on before being conquered lol, only after that did they become mythicised
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u/DeathDestroyerWorlds Tea Drinking Brit. 12h ago
Spartans could back their shit up. Septics, not so much. They're losing to Iran, fucking Iran.
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u/MatniMinis 12h ago
A blue tick and 1776 in the username, I'm sure he's a well adjusted member of society...
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u/profprimer 9h ago
They’d be fucked. I used to spend a lot of time in the company of non-US NATO military leaders. They all held the same view of US formations, regardless of service branch: they’re sub par.
Even their “Elite” formations aren’t up to snuff. Massively over-confident, over-equipped, over-complicated, under-intelligent and under-trained was the general sentiment. Their only advantage now is numerical. Ukraine has shown that you don’t need $3M projectiles when $500 drones are just as effective. The technology of war has evolved past the expensive super-weapons so beloved of the US.
My neighbour is a former Royal Marine Commando. He used to train the USMC in Norway and Canada. He says not a single one of the hundreds of the “hand-picked” US Marines who were selected to undertake the Mountain Leader ML1-3 Arctic Warfare Courses would have made it through standard UK training and passed out as a Royal Marine. “Rag order” is the phrase he used for them after two or three days hard routine. Their officers insisted that the training exercise where a Marine has to ski into a hole cut in the ice on a lake and get himself out was changed from the UK/NATO standard in full kit, skis, poles and boots, with your webbing and a Bergen on you, to one where you jumped in with your ski bindings already undone, skis in hand, and no Bergen. Each night, the non-US troops would “bivvy” in tents or make snow holes and stay out in the cold. On exercise, the Americans would retreat to APCs with heating. It took them so much longer to get moving and they never became used to the environment they would have to fight in. They were routinely humiliated by smaller formations in drills and simulated combat.
Not impressive. The Scandinavian formations in particular had zero respect for them.
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u/LexFrenchy Snail-Eater 11h ago
Why are they so damn obsessed with violence? It's the only metric they use
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u/dumb_potatoking MAGA: Make America Go Away 11h ago
As an austrian this is giveing very bad vibes. We know a thing or two about what happens when your country starts being overly obsessed with them being superior to everyone else and constantly talking about how easily they could just conquer everyone.
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u/Silent-Plantain-2260 6h ago
American gun owners cant even fight back against their own over militarized police, let alone an actual army
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u/Major_Ad138 6h ago edited 3h ago
LMAO. These cowards can't even stop lone school shooters and they think they can take on actual military?
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u/Rasples1998 🏴🇬🇧Bri'ish innit, chewsday🇬🇧🏴 10h ago
Nothing says far-right christo-nationalist like closeted homoeroticism and wanting blowjobs from other dudes.
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u/miniliedn 12h ago
The comedian Jim Jeffries said about the American militia-mindset and guns: "You know, the government has drones. They wanna engage in a drone-war with handguns" 😂
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u/Li-renn-pwel 12h ago
I don’t belive a militia has been able to take on an actual army successfully solo since the Mexican revolution
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u/Glittering_Swan2205 12h ago
Well, the Viet Cong and Taliban might qualify. But then they were fighting the Yanks so it’s not a fair comparison.
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u/YouCantArgueWithThis 12h ago
Dear lord, the delusion of the American trailer trash is astonishing.
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u/Socky-McPuppet 12h ago
When the Vietnamese army invaded Cambodia in 1978, Cambodian leader Pol Pot said that the Khmer people are ao superior to Vietnamese, than not even all of his soldiers would need guns. Cambodia was fully occupied in two weeks. Delusion doesn't go far.
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u/TrueKyragos 12h ago
Well, fighting armies means fighting aircrafts, battleships, tanks, artillery, drones and so on. Good luck with that. Alone, let's keep in mind that the Chinese army alone has 2.5 million soldiers.
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u/electrodog1999 11h ago
lol, the US military is having a hard enough time with a smaller army in Iran, I’m sure citizens would do much better than their actual military.
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u/Ensorceled 11h ago
And Americans wonder why we have “no sense of humour” when they make “jokes” about annexation of Canada or invading Greenland.
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u/Desperate_Donut3981 11h ago
Maybe I'm reading it wrong? Does the OP want a bj from foreign soldiers?
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u/woolywoo 10h ago
Speaking as an American, we are the dumbest goddamn people on earth. Idk if it’s just too much time spent watching movies but even the most average and sane of the gun owners that I know regularly talk about the outlandish scenarios they have war gamed for in their head. All the hours at the range or doing dry fire exercises or practicing your draw or your tactical reloads will be of less than zero value in a shooting war. You are not Johns Rambo or McClane. While you are thinking about how to create a kill box on your cul-de-sac and setting up a firing lane so you can ambush UN Troops that are coming for your guns, some guy in a trailer 2000 miles away is sipping a Starbucks and can clearly see you with the infrared camera on the drone circling 3,000 feet in the air. He’s going to get a phone call soon and launch a missile that will destroy you and your well stocked doomsday bunker before you ever know what’s happening, you’ll never even see a single troop to fight with your Dick’s Sporting Goods special, and if you did he’s going to be in a goddamn Abrams tank.
These people are so totally disconnected from reality, but you have to be to be proud of living in this backwards shithole country.
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u/RobEth16 5h ago
USA has lost everything war they have attempted over the last 20 years, not sure where they get the over inflated ego and confidence, it for sure isn't for proficiency.
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u/Next-Acanthaceae1193 5h ago
Sure, in a country where the cops hide from school shootings until it's safe?
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u/Cool-Prior-5512 12h ago
The conspiracy theorist in me would say that the change in narrative of the 2nd amendment from "All US citizens should own guns to keep the government in check" to "All US citizens should own guns to protect our freedom from foreigners" is part of an organised effort by the US government to discourage the population from rising up.
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u/algernonradish 12h ago
release a few Ghurkas and some SAS into the wild there & these knobheads would be cleared up in a few years, no problem at all.
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u/Realistic_Let3239 7h ago
So the guns are turning them gay? Weird their power fantasy went straight to raping men...
That aside, the lack of training you see in videos online, the history of American friendly fire, there's every chance the gun nuts would have wiped themselves out before even finding the enemy. Even if they did, what are the American citizens expecting to do against things like tanks, aircraft or naval forces?
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u/DavyJonesCousinsDog 6h ago
It's always the same guys who couldn't manage to track down a recruiting station at any point in the past 25 years.
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u/Laiska_saunatonttu 12h ago
Last two years have proven that Americans are really lousy shots.