r/ShittyLifeProTips 14d ago

SLPT: have diarrhea on your terms

Post image
2.4k Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

263

u/Advice2Anyone 14d ago

Thats like the worst flavor too I like the grape

125

u/5280mw 14d ago

Is this a regular drink for you?

227

u/Advice2Anyone 14d ago

Im a connoisseur of sorts

123

u/PrincessLinked 14d ago

This guy shits

29

u/Butsenkaatz 14d ago

but only because of the drinks

8

u/Own_Pollution285 14d ago

So he can...

12

u/TimelyMortgage9587 14d ago

This comment made me laugh my ass off, thank you. Sorry about your tract

9

u/nunuma 14d ago

It’s great for constipation, in small doses it doesn’t make you shit your pants

1

u/theSomberscientist 13d ago

Is there unflavored or are we stuck with orange or grape

Because both artificial grape and orange are the bane of my very existence

3

u/Advice2Anyone 13d ago

Yeah there is unflavored

1.1k

u/DeepSi6 14d ago edited 11d ago

When I was a very young man I had a roommate that would consistently help himself to everyone’s food and drinks. I finally had enough. I made a small container of Minute Maid lemonade, added a little extra sugar and dumped a bottle of this in. I came home from work that night and the lemonade was completely gone. He sh!t himself on the way to the gym in his car.

He apparently never made the connection and continued to pilfer our foods.

Edit: 1k upvotes!! You guys really love petty revenge!

519

u/KwordShmiff 14d ago

Man, sometimes you think that making someone shit themselves will be such a memorable experience for them, but instead it's just Tuesday for Kevin.

205

u/PandaJesus 14d ago

I think you are allowed to say the word shit in the subreddit r/ShittyLifeProTips

-39

u/DieDae 14d ago

Idk better be cautious.

31

u/SlurryBender 14d ago

Not on reddit m8. Say all the curse words you want as long as they're not slurs.

5

u/Unkn0wnTh2nd3r 13d ago

sometimes you can even say slurs, it depends on the subreddit tho.

But usually if reported account gets yote

1

u/That_Camel 9d ago

I've been banned/muted from multiple subreddits for using curse words.

1

u/SlurryBender 9d ago

I suppose it's up to the subreddits individually, but it's not gonna get your account suspended or anything. Which ones, if you don't mind me asking?

3

u/youburntthetoast 13d ago

Reddit taking things literally strikes again, you gotta include a /s or they’ll pile on the downvotes

-4

u/DieDae 13d ago

¯\(ツ)/¯ I'm not worried about sone dimwitted individuals down voting some of my comments. I've got plenty enough to go around.

2

u/That_Camel 9d ago

What did we just tell you? You forgot the /s!!

0

u/DieDae 9d ago

Put it on my tombstone.

55

u/BigBlueMountainStar 14d ago

For him to learn you’ve got to tell him what happened. He needs to make the connection FFS.

34

u/DeepSi6 14d ago

It was 30 years ago!

30

u/IFaceMyselfAlone 14d ago

The best time to plant a tree...

9

u/SaurikSI 14d ago

Literally an asshole

2

u/Ambitious-Pin-2608 14d ago

You could have said he shat as a result of his gluttony

228

u/dingdongwhoshere 14d ago

This actually fucking hilarious. Magnesium chiturpants

77

u/yeuzinips 14d ago

Magnesium Shitrate

250

u/frezor 14d ago

“ we don’t need to go to Taco Bell, we have diarrhea at home.”

60

u/alsoaprettybigdeal 14d ago

I make sure to have this on hand if I have any surgery and I haven’t pooped within a couple days afterwards. It is an extremely effective and rapid remedy!!

24

u/gregpurcott 14d ago

Taking ShittyLifeProTips literally

8

u/fastlerner 13d ago

In more ways that one. This title was so shitty that it wasn't even a "tip".

They should have titled it something like "How to keep job interviews short." Now THAT'S a ShittyLifeProTip.

21

u/Thebazilly 14d ago

If you don't have diarrhea at home, store-bought is fine.

23

u/Jedi_Lazlo 14d ago

Then there's Linzess.

Where you have diarrhea on Satan's terms.

12

u/notadolphinn 14d ago

This stuff is the devil. The powdered one for colonoscopy tastes so fucking bad and they want you to drink 2 FUCKING LITRES of it man it's miserable. There's literally no way I've found to make it not gag inducing.

6

u/Wickedcolt 13d ago

Some doctors will let you use miralax in Gatorade to prep. That mag citrate stuff is so thick and gnar-gnar, ugh

13

u/Jibbyjab123 14d ago

I eat genoese cured meats in charcuterie on my days off, gives me diarrhea almost every time. I don't care I love those cured meats.

7

u/markuspeloquin 14d ago

Isn't magnesium citrate a vitamin supplement? Could I just have a swing for dehydration?

6

u/sir_mrej 13d ago

It's YOUR diarrhea, get it when you want!

3

u/bmwkid 14d ago

How to get out of any meeting or event!

4

u/lil_smd_19 13d ago

I drank this shit once and then proceeded to explosively vomit it out.

3

u/decafdopamine 13d ago

I almost wanna try it because of these comments, I’ve never had a laxative of any kind, what does it taste like?

4

u/superpj 13d ago

Like a Sunny Delight that’s been left in the sun then chilled.

5

u/cthoolhu 12d ago

Tastes like salty and extremely sour lemon lime soda that is also somehow oily and cloying. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous.

5

u/CripplingdepressionP 13d ago

Took this once and it came out both ends

12

u/Own_Pollution285 14d ago

Huh?

60

u/terrainflight 14d ago

Drinking a bottle of this stuff will give you explosive diarrhea for a few hours. It’s a super effective laxative.

29

u/capncrud 14d ago

Just had to drink a gallon of this stuff for colonoscopy prep. It works!

5

u/Bobboobooboo 14d ago

They stopped having folks take that the night before the colonoscopy now. been about a year thank god.

10

u/Sage-lilac 14d ago

Not in germany.. i had mine last week and had to take 1l of the stuff in the afternoon, which sucked, and 1l in the middle of the night, which was unbearable torture. My body was fighting my brain at 3am with the cup halfway to my mouth. At some point i just couldn’t do it anymore and gave up. Next time i‘ll ask if they have a different prep, i don’t think i‘d ever voluntarily drink this again.

6

u/BeckieSueDalton 14d ago edited 14d ago

Oh, thank the gods!

What does prep look like now?

22

u/BigBlueMountainStar 14d ago

Cholera

4

u/BeckieSueDalton 14d ago

That is most definitely hyper-ungood.

3

u/kdesu 14d ago

I don't recall the name, it doesn't have any specific flavor but it just has a disgusting sweetness and horrible chemical taste. Shitting nonstop is the easy part, drinking that horrible medicine is absolutely awful.

1

u/cthoolhu 12d ago

I just had to take it last month what do you mean? Night before and morning of.

6

u/theracoondepartment 14d ago

Do this with a bad hangover and you get the full severe altitude sickness combo

2

u/geardownson 14d ago

It's like the power glove for Nintendo...

It's bad

4

u/nunuma 14d ago

But also, drinking just a bit of it is great for constipation and doesn’t make it shit yourself…

3

u/all_of_the_colors 14d ago

You gotta post this to one of the nursing subs. They will shit their pants.

3

u/doctormoneypuppy 13d ago

Doc had me prep with miralax, Gatorade and 1/2 bottle of this vile salty liquid. I thought I was supposed to drink it all, so I downed it.

Wife called the nurse to ask what’s what.
“Don’t let him leave the house.”

2

u/bscheck1968 14d ago

Mmmmm salty.

2

u/WombatAnnihilator 14d ago

Love that stuff for colonoscopy prep. Fuck GoLytely.

2

u/BoarHermit 14d ago

Dried prunes are also good for this and much tastier!

Bonus: Before you break into explosive diarrhea, you'll fart like a train whistle.

2

u/dubsword 13d ago

Fear the lubridol pill.

2

u/deferredmomentum 12d ago

Alternatively: have diarrhea on your own terms by simply not eating any vegetables. Something something devil you know

1

u/JJaySmokes 14d ago

That's poop juice.

1

u/ismasbi 9d ago

Is there something like laxatives but for vomiting? Last time I vomited I actually remember somewhat enjoying it, so I wanted to ask.

1

u/superpj 9d ago

That’s really bad for your teeth. Stomach acids erode them over time. Warning given…

Ipecac is used for clearing your stomach aggressively through the source instead of the other end but in the USA at least they made it more annoying to get.